Jessica Teller was as strong as she needed to be for that was the only way to be growing up in the Mc world she called family.
Her childhood wasn't the same to the kids she went to school, when Neeta her sitter couldn't take care of her she was always at her parents shop. Not being allowed to hang out with kids her age she spend time with the guys from the club who were very protective of her.
She always made sure they had everything they needed she understood everything in her world but to say the truth she wanted no part in it.
Even though her mother told her she was destined to be a strong and loyal old lady that everyone would respect, while her brother was to be part of the club their father had created.
~1991~
"Hey Dad" I called out as I noticed he was sitting on the picnic table as I made my way out of the clubhouse.
"Hey Jess come here." he called out as I went over to him and sat down as he stood up and grabbed my hand. "Let's go for a ride." he said as he still held my hand as he started walking over to his bike.
"Alright let me just ask mom." I suggested as he let go of my hand and put his arm around my shoulder as he turned to face me.
"I'm your father you don't have to ask for permission if your with me." he said as he smiled at me then we made our way over to his bike.
He took me to a small place that overlooked Charming it was great you could see everything. It had been a year already since Tommy had died, I had noticed dad had changed he was rarely at home or at the club and he seemed to always be away.
I could always count on Clay if I needed any father advice but Jax was always my go to person for everything. I resented him sometimes when I saw mom suffering alone while he was away Clay stood by us while he was gone. That day we just stayed quiet as we watched the day pass by.
The memory that sticks with me the most was the last time I had talked with him alone and he had been acting a little more distanced than usually. It had been a month before he passed as I tuned out everything that was happening around me as I thought back.
~1993~
"So are you ready for high school?" he asked as he joined me at the table.
"Yeah but I think it's going to be too much since mom wants me to go for early graduation." I said as I really did not want to think about that right now.
"That's good it will probably give you an advantage getting into a good college." he said as I looked over at him. I was barely going to high school and he was already thinking about college.
"You okay dad?" I asked as I moved closer to him.
"Yeah just wanted to spend time with my baby." he said as he kissed my head as he put an arm around me.
"Are you sure you seem worried about something?"
"I'm fine. Jess I need you to promise me something just in case something ever happens to me."
"What is going to happen?" I asked as I got worried I knew something was up.
"Nothing" he said as he smiled over at me. "Jess I want you to go as far away from this place when you finish school, you're better than anyone here."
"What's going on dad?"
"Just listen this life is not for you no matter what your mother tells you." he said as his phone began to ring. I was shocked with what he had just told me. Was he planning on leaving us? I began to think what would mom feel if dad left her for good probably break her heart.
"Let's go your mom is waiting for you at the club."
"Okay" I had already made up my mind about him I was already pissed at him and he hadn't even left yet what a coward.
That was a month ago as I sit here next to mom and Jax holding Jax's hand as we both silently cry as we did when Tommy died but it feels like if it was that time again like if the Teller's were just being dragged down inch by inch. Your father has died I heard mom's voice over and over every time I looked at his coffin.
"You want to go for a walk" I heard Jax whisper in my ear as people were still saying goodbye to my father. I just nodded my head even thought I didn't want to go but I knew Jax wanted to get away from here.
We walked away from everything and ended up on Tommy's grave there were times when me and Jax would never shut up but there were times when just being there together and not say anything was just comfortable.
Jax and Opie were allowed by Clay to ride with the club so when Opie came running for us that it was time to go we were full blown crying holding each other. Opie being the good friend both of us had just stood back as he called my mother.
When mom arrived Luanne and Lesley were by her side. Lesley and I never got along and right now she was the last person I wanted to see, she was Otto's and Luanne's daughter. She never knew when to shut up, who kept claiming my parents were going to divorce and that mom was with Clay.
"Let's go we need to get back to the house." said mom as she kneeled in front of us as we did not want to leave as she stood up.
"I can make sure they get home" said Opie. I didn't hear moms response but knew that she had already left us with Opie.
After awhile and we both had stopped crying Jax got up and gave me his hand to help me up. We walked over to Jax's bike and Opie was still there, I just got on Jax's bike and did not ask where we were going to go. We stopped at the place where dad usually take us when he wanted to talk. At this moment I did not want to be here at all. I got off the bike and went to sit on the table while Jax started to drink something Opie had gotten from the bar of the clubhouse as he sat away from us.
"Here get one I got them from someone." Opie said as he held out a bag of shrooms. I knew better than to take one as Tig had told me several times to stay away from them but I did not care right now.
I ate it as I closed my eyes I did not know how much time passed but I felt like air passing thru my body like if I was flying. It felt as if I was dreaming especially when I opened my eyes and my surroundings looked as if I was walking on the sky.
"Jess" I heard my father call out. "Jessica come here" he yelled as I tried to look for him but I was not able to see him at all.
"Dad where are you?" I yelled as I kept trying to find him.
Out of nowhere I heard Clay's voice. "Hey baby girl" he called out as I began to feel more calmer than when I had heard dad's voice.
"Clay" I called out as I didn't see him either but remained calm.
"Everything will be better now. Do you trust me Jess?"
"Yes I trust you" I said as I felt my surrounding change as I was now standing in the middle of the road that felt like mud.
"Jessica" I heard my father's voice call out in anger as everything seemed to turn red as I kept walking down the road as I noticed a pack of crows.
The crows all seemed to have different vibrant colors. One of them stood out as it seemed her feathers had shade of pink as I got closer I noticed that her feathers were clipped as they all stood around her.
Out of nowhere I saw a crow fly over me and had white shadowy feathers when I heard my father's voice once again. "Promise me" he said but his voice now seemed as if he was far away.
"Baby girl come with me your mom is waiting." I heard Clay say next to me. I stared up at the sky as the crows flew away as the sky seemed to be changing. I looked back down and noticed that the crow with the pink feathers was unable to fly with them.
"Someone help her" I called out as I tried to reach her but I was unable to help her out. She wasn't in danger but was all alone and looked lost as she looked around.
A black crow with matching black eyes landed right next to her. He seemed intriguing and mysterious, he picked her up and seemed to have taken her with the others as everything went black.
~ Clubhouse ~ Lesley~
"What are you saying Gem?" I heard Clay had screamed into the phone, once he hung up he made his way outside where most of the guys were.
"Tig" I heard him yell out as he noticed that he wasn't at the picnic table.
"What Clay?"
"Gem can't find the kids last time she saw them was at Tommy's grave." he said as he got the attention from the guys.
"Well let's go look for them." demanded Piney as he stood up.
"Yeah everyone should check different places." suggested dad as mom came and stood next to me.
"You should take Lesley she knows where they usually spend their time." said mom as she pushed me forward.
"Alright you're coming with me." said dad as he put his arm around me.
We ended up going with the Tacoma guys in the van, and dad was driving I was sitting in the back with Happy, Kozic and Lorca.
"Lesley where's the first place we should check?" he asked as I scooted closer to him.
"It's this place in the woods where you could see all of charming." I said they were going to kill me for this but it was worth a shot.
As we got out the van I heard Jessica laughing while Jax was screaming. I ran after the guys as we noticed Jess was pretending to fly and Jax seem to be punching the air. Jess was moving her arms up and down as she was smiling. We all stood there and figured out that they were high.
Opie was under the table banging on it as if he was trapped and couldn't get out. Dad moved toward him and dragged him out as he stopped fighting but went into full panic mode till dad had him calmed down. Both Lorca and Koz grabbed Jax till he calmed down a bit, Hap was just looking at Jess not moving or anything since he didn't want her to panic as she stopped and stared at him back he went to her silently like if she was his prey.
"She can't fly." said Jess in a whisper.
"Jess" Hap called out as it seemed Jess passed out as Hap caught her.
"You got her?" asked dad as Hap didn't say anything as he carried her and making sure her dress was down, stupid bitch she was in the arms of Hap and was out of it. We all got in the van Opie and Jax fell asleep as was Jess while Hap had a tight hold on her.
When we got back to the club Gemma and Clay were sitting with mom at the picnic table. Gemma looked mad rather than sad as earlier to me it seemed Jax and Jess felt it all while she just seemed to store her feelings or something.
Once Clay saw dad he walked over to him as he saw that Opie and Jax were being taken inside the clubhouse.
"Go with Gem, put her down in my room." Clay suggested to Hap as Gem lead the way inside the clubhouse.
"Where were they?" he asked dad as he sat down next to mom.
"They got high, Jax was fighting air and Opie was trapped under a table." said Otto looking over at Tig.
"Hey I didn't give it to them and besides I told Jess never to touch that shit." said Tig raising his hands.
"What about Jess?" asked Bobby.
"Girl thought she could fly." said Lorca as Kyle was trying to suppress his laugh. Clay shot him a shut the fuck look.
"Shit" said Clay as if Jess was really that innocent.
"Them idiots could have gotten her hurt" added Piney as I just rolled my eyes.
"They will pay for this." said Clay as I decided I had enough of this and headed inside with the ladies and decided to help out.
~ The Following Day~
I moved to the other side of the bed but ended on the floor as I fell down. Hey what am I doing at the club last thing I remember was crying at Tommy's grave. Oh dad died I said to myself as I heard the door open and found out it was mom and the look she was giving me was not one I expected as it seemed she wanted to kill me.
"What were you thinking Jessica" she screamed at me while I was still on laying on the ground.
"What are you talking about mom" I said trying to sit up.
"Shrooms is what I am talking about" she said what shrooms oh I took them from Opie shit, shit I'm not getting out of this one. I just shrugged my shoulders and just dealt with it as always.
"Hey mom's mad at me." I said sitting down next to dad as he had just came back from Belfast. He didn't even acknowledge me as I sat down next to him. "Hey earth to dad" I said waiving my hand in front of him.
"Hey Trin ugh Jessica what did you say?" he asked as looked at me.
"Nothing forget it." I said and walked away from him, he didn't even call me back like if I wasn't there. I went to the garage as I knew Clay would be working there I could always talk to him about everything and right now he was teaching Jax something about a car.
"Hey guys" I called out as I reached the car they were working on.
"Baby girl what are you up to?" Clay asked as he kept his eyes on what Jax was doing.
"Just trying to escape mom's anger."
"Any luck with that." asked Jax as he looked up at me.
"Well you know the answer to that." I told him as Clay smiled knowing too well how mom was.
"Hey what brings you here princess?" Piney said coming out of the office.
"Learning auto shit" answered Jax for me as I just rolled my eyes.
"What you want to be a mechanic?" asked Bobby as we all knew the answer to that.
"Nah she wouldn't make it she would be worried about her shoes getting dirty." said Clay as he looked over at me.
"Oh whatever guys." I said still watching Jax closely paying close attention to what he was doing.
"Jessica" I heard my mother call out.
"That doesn't sound good." said Bobby as he looked over at mom.
"It isn't'" I said as I made my way out of the garage.
"Jess come over here." called out dad as I passed by him.
"Dad, moms looking for me." I said as I stood in front of him not moving.
"Well then walk fast little girl." he said as I made my way over to him.
"Jess I love you, you know that right." he said as he reached over to me and pulled me into a hug.
"Yeah dad I do" I said trying not to cry since it had been awhile since he had hugged me.
"I never want you to doubt that." he said kissing my forehead as I held on to him.
"I won't"
"Promise me." he asked as he held my hand.
"I promise dad" He finally left me go as I went to look for mom hopefully she had calmed down which was never possible.
Mom was just standing their looking at me waiting for an answer that I knew she was not going to accept.
"I just didn't think about it." I said laying back down hoping she would just go away.
"We'll deal with this later get up and change you got kitchen duty" she said as she walked out of the room. Leave it to mom to want to clean after what happened.
I had to get ready before she came back angry again. I had a temper but no one would beat my mother. I got dressed and headed to the kitchen shouldn't I be crying that my father had just died, nope not in this life we move forward and not move back. I was surprised to see Jax and Opie were in the kitchen helping.
"Hey what are you guys doing here" I asked either the prospects would help out or the women and these two were neither.
"We were ratted on." they both said as they glared at Lesley.
"Figures told you never to take her there if you wanted to keep it a secret she will always fuck it up." I said to Opie.
"So I see we are all on the club's shit list?" Opie said as we looked over to the guys.
"Yeah" I said trying not to laugh just in case Clay heard is as we all three seemed to be on the shit list. "Let me take these to Pops." said Opie as he stepped out of the kitchen.
I was used to dad not being around but when Opie said something about his father it hit me again that I would never see my father.
I tried hard not to cry but damn tears escaped before I could wipe them away so no one could see them. Jax pulled me into a hug and it was like if someone had told me to let it out because I couldn't stop crying.
"Let's go to my room." said Jax as I just leaned into him as he led the way.
"Jackson what's wrong" I heard mom behind us. Jax didn't stop he was crying now and both of us needed to be alone how could she not be like us why did she hide it.
"I have this Gemma" I heard Opie call out as he followed.
"Hey don't pull any shit like yesterday." she said as Opie closed the door.