Author's Note: Before reading it, I must warn you that there is some sex, some vulgar language and some grammar mistakes (Hey, I'm trying! I'm not British or American).
Disclaimer: No, I don't own HP or make any profit of this. Besides, I highly doubt that JKR woud ever write something as bad as this, so no, I'm not her (and I'm also a guy so if I claimed I was JKR would be a little weird and awkward).
Harry/Ginny POV
Harry and Ginny walked out of their room at Grimmauld Place holding hands, ready to head down for breakfast. They had to stop though when they heard a commotion coming from Ron's and Hermione's room.
"I heard you the first time and unlike you, I don't need people telling me things twice to understand them!"
"Yes, because you are The Hermione Granger! Smartest witch of our age and I'm just dimwit Ronald, right?"
"I couldn't say it better myself… Ronald!"
"They are fighting again? That's the fourth time this week! I'm beginning to worry about them," Ginny said fear in her voice.
"I know, Ginny. I'm afraid too that if they keep fighting like this…" Harry sighed.
"If that's what you believe then why are you here?"
"I'm here to explain to you with your little brain that I didn't do it on purpose. I forgot we had a date because I had too much work to do."
"And it's always a stupid reason they fight for. Two days ago I heard them arguing about Ron playing with his deluminator and the other day they were arguing because Hermione used Pig to sent a letter to her secretary without asking him permission to use him," Ginny exclaimed in frustration.
Harry had to agree. Ron and Hermione lately had started fighting for the silliest of reasons. He began to worry if their relationship was coming to an end. It was a dreadful thought and he wanted to do something about it, before it was too late. "You think we should talk to them?"
"I don't know, Harry," Ginny sighed heavily, running a hand through her hair.
"I was working too, Hermione! But I had the decency to remember that I had plans with my girlfriend!"
"Oh, yes, because it's the same working in the Ministry and the same working in a joke shop. Tell me Ron, what difficult task you had to put aside to meet me? Rearrange the love potions or try to sell Patented Daydream Charms to old women who were there to ogle you?"
"Oh, are you jealous baby?"
"Oh please! Like there is a woman on this planet that can stand you more than an hour!"
"I never saw you complain!"
"I don't understand why they are shouting though. Don't they know we can hear them?" Harry wondered. He knew that they knew they coud hear them, so was this on purpose? Was this their way to announce their problems to their relationship, or they just caught up into their arguments forgetting that they weren't alone in the house?
"Maybe they think we are downstairs for breakfast and we can't hear them," Ginny replied and Harry thought that this could be the reason Ron and Hermione were shouting at each other.
"Trust me, Ron. For the smartest witch of my age, I sure have a few flaws. Be with you is one of them!"
"Oh, and you think that I'm thrilled that I'm stuck with you? There are so many witches in the shop that crave for just a look from me!"
"Let's get downstairs and let's hope they won't say anything they'll regret it and if they want to talk to us they will," Ginny said, giving a gentler squeeze to their intertwined hands and a smile to Harry.
Harry smiled back. He hated hearing his best friends fighting and going to the kitchen seemed a nice idea right now. He would have to think another time how to help Ron and Hermione remembering their love. "You're right. Let's just pretend we don't hear their fights."
"I love you," Ginny said kissing Harry on the mouth.
Harry kissed back. "I love you more, Ginny."
Ron/Hermione POV
"I heard you the first time and unlike you, I don't need people telling me things twice to understand them!"
"Oh yes, Ron, just like this!"
"Yes, because you are The Hermione Granger! Smartest witch of our age and I'm just dimwit Ronald, right?"
"Baby, you're so fucking wet and tight!"
"I couldn't say it better myself… Ronald!"
"And you love it baby, I know you do! Tell me how much you love to fuck my tight little cunt."
"If that's what you believe then why are you here?"
"My cock inside you feels better than the Cannons winning the Cup, baby. You are driving me mental!"
"I'm here to explain to you with your little brain that I didn't do it on purpose. I forgot we had a date because I had too much work to do."
"Keep fucking me, Ron! Suck my nipples too!"
"I was working too, Hermione! But I had the decency to remember that I had plans with my girlfriend!"
"Merlin, this feels so bloody good, Hermione!"
"Oh, yes, because it's the same working in the Ministry and the same working in a joke shop. Tell me Ron, what difficult task you had to put aside to meet me? Rearrange the love potions or try to sell Patented Daydream Charms to old women who were there to ogle you?"
"Come on, let me on top now. I want to ride your big cock really hard!"
"Oh, are you jealous baby?"
"Oh yes, ride it baby! Show me how bad girl you really are!"
"Oh please! Like there is a woman in this planet that can stand you more than an hour!"
"I'm a very bad girl, Ron. Punish me with big wand! Punish me hard!"
"I never saw you complain!"
"Fuck, I'm close!"
"Trust me, Ron. For the smartest witch of my age, I sure have a few flaws. Be with you is one of them!"
"I'm there too, Ron! God, I'm cumming!"
"Oh, and you think that I'm thrilled that I'm stuck with you? There are so many witches in the shop that crave for just a look from me!"
The moans went louder and the bodies begun to shake. Ron kissed Hermione passionately one last time before they both collapsed to the bed, breathless after their intense orgasms.
"You know, Hermione, I've said it many times and I'm sure I'm going to say it a lot more in the future, but you are so bloody brilliant! Your idea to charm this muggle radio-tape thing or how you call it, and record all these fake fights, to keep Harry and Ginny off our room whenever we want to shag is the proof of that."
"Thank you, Ron. I always enjoy hearing you complimenting me."
"You deserve all the credit, baby."
"I had to think of something Ron. I couldn't keep using the muffliato every time we wanted to have sex. You know it's a dark spell after all."
"And you don't want them to hear you scream my name and say all these nasty things when I'm shagging you, admit it."
"What can I say? You bring out the naughty side of me, Ron."
"Now, that's what I call a compliment!"
They kissed again softly this time and Hermione snuggled to him as he wrapped his arms around her.
"What our next fake fight should be about?" Ron asked curiously with a playful tone in his voice.
"Don't worry. We'll think of something." Hermione reassured him with a mischievous smile. "We always do."
Author's Note: In case you're confused, the italics was just a fake argument Ron and Hermione recorded and it was heard loud, to cover their sex noises. If you liked it, review!