Disclaimer: The Potterverse does not belong to me!

AN: Hey guys! Starting my first story here and I thought I'd try to do something a little new and different. I have this listed as a Hermione/Ron pairing, but honestly, I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this yet.

I've been doing a lot of research for this story to get this as real as possible.

Hope you enjoy this and please comment!

Luv,

T.J.

Chapter 1 - The Letter

Dear Harry,

how are you doing? I'm glad you decided to come back to Hogwarts to finish your NEWTS as well. It's the responsible thing to do. This school year will be so great! We will finally be able to focus on studying without having to deal with... Well you know what I mean...

I can't believe it'll be just the two of us and Ginny though. Hogwarts won't be the same without Ron there constantly trying to copy my essays. It's sad but I just can't bring myself to be mad at him. Maybe it will be good for him to spend some time with Charlie in Romania after everything that's happened. Who knows? Maybe he'll change his mind and finish his studies afterwards. One can always hope, right?

Harry, I... I have something important to tell you and it's just easier for me to do this on paper. Don't worry it's nothing bad. At least I hope you won't think it's bad. You're the first person to know. I couldn't think of anyone I trust more and I just hope this won't change your opinion of me.

I've always felt different than other girls you know? And if I'm honest I guess I already figured out a while ago why, but with the war and everything going on it just wasn't the right time to talk or do something about it. Gosh this is hard... I don't even know how to phrase it.

You know how I never had any female friends in Hogwarts, right? And I guess it's because I never really had any interest in typical girls' stuff either. And I always felt more comfortable with you guys as my friends, than say Lavender or Parvati. And I've never really dated in school like everyone else...

God, all this sounds so mundane when I write it down, but I've written this letter and tossed it in the garbage too many times already so I guess I should just say it.

I think I feel like a guy. I mean, I think I am a guy. Of course not biologically, that much is obvious. I mean my mind, my character... I'm a guy from the inside, you know?

Of course I've been doing some research about this over the last couple of summers. Muggles call it GID or Gender Identity Disorder. I don't know if you're familiar with the term. It means, that a person experiences significant discontent with the gender they were assigned to at birth.

I haven't been able to find much information about it in the wizarding world though...

I know that it doesn't seem very logical, but it's very real for me and even though I have never mentioned it before it does bother me... Now more than ever. I guess that's because I don't have to constantly fear for everyone's safety anymore and I'm forced to focus on my own problems a little bit more now.

I haven't decided yet what I'm going to do about it. Muggles have treatments for it, but I haven't even told my parents. I wanted to confide in someone first, get your opinion.

Well I'm going to let you think about this now...

Hope to hear from you soon.

Hermione

With that Hermione laid the quill down. Wow, that had been hard. But it sounded like the right mixture of sincereness, practical information and a touch of "please don't hate me". At least it was better than the last 12 attempts now rolled up into neat little balls in her bin.

Alastor, Harrys' new owl, was probably sick of waiting for her answer already and he didn't seem like the type of owl you wanted to keep waiting for too long. She missed Hedwig... Maybe it was time for her to get her own owl. She'd have a look next time she went to Diagon Alley.

Hermione gave Alastor the letter who looked at her indignantly through those big, bright amber eyes and took off into the night sky with a loud hoot.

Unceremoniously Hermione threw herself on her bed and thought about the letter that was being carried to Harry at the moment.

It had felt weird to finally admit to someone, how unhappy she was with herself and her body, only to sign the letter with that hideous name... But did she even want a new name? To be called by male pronouns? Did she even really want to be a man to the outside world? To transition, as Muggles would call it?

In the Muggle world it was a long process... All the legal procedures to change her ID and then all the medical treatments. It could take years...

And what about the Wizarding world? Was there even such thing as "transitioning"? Wizards didn't have ID's, so how would she change her name? And was there a spell or a potion that could change her body instantly? Hermione began daydreaming about it being so easy. Just one little potion and she would finally feel normal for the first time in her life. How would she wear her hair? Really short, or more like a beach boy typ of shaggy look?

First she was going to wait for Harry's reaction, she decided. After all she didn't want to do anything too rash. She would slowly gather all the information necessary and then make an educated decision based on the facts. No need to rush... She had all the time in the world now to figure things out, she thought as she slowly drifted off into an uneasy sleep...

Hermione woke up to the sound of Alastor cautiously tapping against her bedroom window. At first she was a little confused, but when the memory of her letter hit her she jumped up and raced to the window to let the owl in. She all but ripped the letter out of it's beak only to have the proud owl give an angry screech and fly right back to where it came from.

"Looks like I'll have to get that owl after all..." she mumbled as she ripped the envelope apart.

Dear Hermione,

I read your letter and wow, that is quite a surprise. To be honest I don't even know what to say. Well except for the fact that I am your friend and I love you unconditionally. Nothing will ever change that. Is it weird if I say something like that now?... I never tell Ron that I love him. I do, but you don't usually tell other blokes you love them, you know?

I'm sorry if I'm a bit weird right now. I don't really know how to behave. I mean I don't want to seem nosy or anything. I just want to understand what you're going through. I trust you too, so I think I should just ask you whatever is on my mind and you tell me when you're uncomfortable answering stuff, deal?

First of all: Since when has this been going on? You said you've been doing research over the last couple of summers... I can't believe you never said anything. To be honest I feel a little bit hurt... I know we were busy and there was all kinds of stuff going on, but you're important to me. I wish you'd said something. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame you. I'm just a little hurt that something this big has been going on and I never knew. I feel like your lives always came second to my problems and I'm sorry for that.

Second: I'm sorry and I really don't mean to be rude here or anything, but... I don't quite get it. How can you feel like a guy when you're a girl? I've never felt like a girl so... what makes you think you're a guy?

Also... What does this mean now? Are you gonna be a bloke now? Like, you know... Get guys school uniforms and sleep in our dorm? Are you going to change your name? And what about, you know... Your body and stuff? Are you going to change that?

And on a more personal note (and feel free to tell me I should mind my own business) does that also mean you're into girls? I don't want to worry you, but Ron is going to freak... He's head over heals in love with you, always has been.

You know, maybe we should hang out and talk about this in person. I know you said it's easier to do this on paper, but since you know I'm ok with this (I am ok with this, in case I haven't made myself clear enough...)

I'm just writing this right now and I can't wait for your answer already. You've got me all tied up in knots here so... Let me know if you want to come over. I'll be home all week.

Get back to me, ok?

Harry

Hermione let out a sigh of relief. It wasn't the cheesy "Sure, no problem" answer she had expected. This was better. This was Harry being supportive, but also a little confused. It was Harry asking questions and actually wanting to know more instead of ignoring her confession. It was more than she'd hoped for. It meant that he cared and that he was interested and that maybe he could help her figure this whole thing out.

And maybe he was right. Maybe they should just talk. She'd have to face him sooner or later anyway and it would be faster than sending these bloody owls back and forth between London and Godric's Hollow especially now that Alastor probably wouldn't return for her answer anytime soon.

"Hermione! Are you up? Breakfast is ready!", her dad called from downstairs.

A little more lighthearted than she'd felt in a while Hermione decided to go have breakfast with her parents and then pay the boy-who-lived-too-many-times-to-count-them a surprise visit.