Bad Gollum!
Gollum is annoying. He is being held in Mirkwood for being a naughty um... thing; and the guards have been ordered to not kill him? What madness will ensue?
Rating: pg for some swearing and evil plotting
Disclaimer: I don't own anything ANYTHING, pity me! Don't sue me! I own nothing LotR, nor do I own coke. That belongs to the dude that invented it, it is tasty tho. I do however own Anodien, Amon, Fred the herring, Hinia, Tang and this plot. They have all been spawned from my mind! FEAR THEM! Mwaaahaha
Ok on to the story:
Chapter one: Gollum is brought to Mirkwood
"Arrrrghghghsgdfffdshjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj, nooooo it burns ussss! Takes it off us, wees be good, please takes it off!?" screamed, more like screeched, Gollum.
"Chalupa!, someone please give that thing some tranquilizers!" said Aragorn
Some human dude, lets call him Phillip. Ok so Phillip pops in from out of nowhere and shoots Gollum with a tranquilizer. "All done sir" said Phillip
"Thank you Phillip" said strider, "Dude I thought your name was Aragorn" "I have identity issues, got a problem with that , PUNK" "N-n-no s-sir" "Good, now leave" PooF "Anyway, as I was saying Gandalf, we cannot keep this creature. We have two choices. One we kill him, two, we drop him in Mirkwood and let him be their problem" "Ai, well we cannot kill him, my spidy senses are tingling, I feel he will have an important role left to play. So we therefore must leave him in Mirkwood to be dealt with how Thranduil sees fit." "Poor, Legolas" "Ai lad, poor him" "Well at least they have Fred the Herring" "True Aragorn, I hate that fish with a passion, he seems to like the guards though"
a few minutes later
"Gollum Gollum, where was I again? Oh right................ aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrghhhhsdgjfkhajdfkhglkdhf, nooo it burrrnsssss!!!!!!!! Ussssss, preciousssssss." Said Gollum "ouchie, we stubbed our toses!"
"PHILLIP!" yelled Aragorn and Gandalf at the same time. "Jinx, owe me a coke" said Gandalf. "Damnit!" "Hemm, hemm, I'm here" said Phillip "Where's the thing?" He said. "There" said Aragorn while looking for a quarter for the conveniently placed coke machine. "Oh right" shoots Gollum with tranquilizers, then pops off to where he came from. "Hey Gandy look!" "What is it ranger with the identity problem?" "Grr...... WE ARE IN MIRKWOOD YOU OLD FART!"
TBC...
Please read and review! Yes its not very long but I have to go to work
Gollum is annoying. He is being held in Mirkwood for being a naughty um... thing; and the guards have been ordered to not kill him? What madness will ensue?
Rating: pg for some swearing and evil plotting
Disclaimer: I don't own anything ANYTHING, pity me! Don't sue me! I own nothing LotR, nor do I own coke. That belongs to the dude that invented it, it is tasty tho. I do however own Anodien, Amon, Fred the herring, Hinia, Tang and this plot. They have all been spawned from my mind! FEAR THEM! Mwaaahaha
Ok on to the story:
Chapter one: Gollum is brought to Mirkwood
"Arrrrghghghsgdfffdshjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj, nooooo it burns ussss! Takes it off us, wees be good, please takes it off!?" screamed, more like screeched, Gollum.
"Chalupa!, someone please give that thing some tranquilizers!" said Aragorn
Some human dude, lets call him Phillip. Ok so Phillip pops in from out of nowhere and shoots Gollum with a tranquilizer. "All done sir" said Phillip
"Thank you Phillip" said strider, "Dude I thought your name was Aragorn" "I have identity issues, got a problem with that , PUNK" "N-n-no s-sir" "Good, now leave" PooF "Anyway, as I was saying Gandalf, we cannot keep this creature. We have two choices. One we kill him, two, we drop him in Mirkwood and let him be their problem" "Ai, well we cannot kill him, my spidy senses are tingling, I feel he will have an important role left to play. So we therefore must leave him in Mirkwood to be dealt with how Thranduil sees fit." "Poor, Legolas" "Ai lad, poor him" "Well at least they have Fred the Herring" "True Aragorn, I hate that fish with a passion, he seems to like the guards though"
a few minutes later
"Gollum Gollum, where was I again? Oh right................ aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrghhhhsdgjfkhajdfkhglkdhf, nooo it burrrnsssss!!!!!!!! Ussssss, preciousssssss." Said Gollum "ouchie, we stubbed our toses!"
"PHILLIP!" yelled Aragorn and Gandalf at the same time. "Jinx, owe me a coke" said Gandalf. "Damnit!" "Hemm, hemm, I'm here" said Phillip "Where's the thing?" He said. "There" said Aragorn while looking for a quarter for the conveniently placed coke machine. "Oh right" shoots Gollum with tranquilizers, then pops off to where he came from. "Hey Gandy look!" "What is it ranger with the identity problem?" "Grr...... WE ARE IN MIRKWOOD YOU OLD FART!"
TBC...
Please read and review! Yes its not very long but I have to go to work