Underappreciated but Never Undefeated

Note: My first Critic fan-fiction. Since I enjoyed the show so much watching it again for the first time in a long time, I decided to begin where the webisodes left off. Jay wants to pop the question to his gorgeous makeup girl, Jennifer after one year of dating her. The only thing that can separate this sexy minx from her witty beau is Jeremy Hawke.

"Talk about overusing a catch phrase. Hatchi Matchi ! It STINKS ! Goodnight every-BODY !"—Jay Sherman

Chapter 1—And Vlada, Make it a Surprise

Jay had been successfully dating his makeup girl Jennifer for a year now, and she was completely comfortable with the fact that his first two marriages hadn't worked out. Ardeth had been a complete nightmare, and Alice had simply moved on after she discovered that she wasn't attracted to Jay physically anymore. Sure, those things stung a bit when they crept up in his mind, but as soon as he saw Jennifer before every night's Coming Attractions, it didn't matter anymore.

Duke had noticed that Jay had been unusually happy as of late. Nosy as he usually was, he talked to him after Coming Attractions had been taped and pulled him aside for a small chat.

"Why so uplifted, Sherman ?", he questioned, curiously.

"Well, if you must ask, Duke…I am planning on proposing to Jennifer tonight at Le Aine Riche.", Jay stated, his fists closed close to his chest and waving them madly about like a giddy cheerleader. It was enough to make Duke secretly want to vomit, but instead he laughed.

"Mazel tov, then good buddy. I hope everything goes well for you. You've had enough disappointment, I think. It's time for a positive wind to blow into your life.", Duke stated, warmly, as he patted his old friend on the back. Jay smiled, eyeing him possibly a bit flirtatiously.

"Will you stop that ! I know I'm good-lookin' but for the love of Dixie, don't look at me like that.", Duke said as he backed away. Jay was just teasing, but since he was such an acclaimed actor (in his own mind) Duke could never tell and didn't want to err on the side of caution to find out.

Jay was feeling a bit nervous and had been sweating a bit more than usual, but he hoped that Jennifer wouldn't notice. He had picked her up at her apartment and she was looking stunning as ever. She was a real vision to behold, and Jay's classy sunglasses fogged in the presence of her sultry nature. He held the door of his sedan open for her, shut it and prepared to drive to Le Aine.

When Vlada saw Jay looking snazzy in a tux with a hot blonde by his side, he wondered just what his old friend was up to.

"Meeester Sherman, what brings you here tonight ?", he asked, in a saccharine tone that bordered on sarcasm.

"I'm planning to do a little something different, Vlada.", Jay said, winking at him. He whispered into his ear and handed him the ring he had been carrying around in his pocket.

"And Vlada…make it a surprise !", he said quietly, patting him on the back.

"Oui, oui. Anything you desire. It is…a very special night indeed.", Vlada stated, escorting the two of them to their table.

Chapter 2—Of All the French Restaurants in the World…

Thus far, Jennifer was savoring every moment with Jay as she had in the past. Jay secretly wondered if his relationship with her was too good to be true, and no sooner had that thought entered his head that Jeremy Hawke had walked in catching all the ladies' eyes.

"Oh, no. Of all the times, why did he have to find me here tonight ?", Jay though to himself, trying to hide his face in hopes that Jeremy wouldn't see him.

"What's the matter Jay ? Are you embarrassed by something ?",Jennifer asked, brushing an arrant blonde lock of hair behind her ear.

"Don't walk this way…Don't look at me.", Jay muttered as Jeremy walked closer.

"Oh, hey, Jay ! Fancy seeing you here, mate !", Jeremy exclaimed, ebulliently, clapping his hand on Jay's shoulder.

"Hi, Jeremy.", Jay responded, rather unenthusiastically. Jeremy seemed undeterred by Jay's lack of reaction and quickly had his attention turned to Jennifer.

"Hel-lo. And who might you be ?", Jeremy inquired, charismatically turning around a chair and sitting up close to Jennifer. Jennifer giggled, impressed by his manly charms.

"That's Jennifer. She's my girlfriend.", Jay said, becoming a bit miffed.

"Why didn't you say so before, mate ? Boobalah, I'm sorry !", Jeremy said, remorsefully. He had nearly put his hand atop of hers, but thought better of it. He got up, turned his chair around and sat properly at the table.

"You were too busy ogling her. I thought you were my friend, Jeremy.", Jay said, looking hurt and doe-eyed, as if he wanted to cry.

"Look, Jay. I'm sorry. I just wanted to check up on you and see how you were doing. As far as I can tell you're doing superbly. I'll just leave you two here and go about my own business. Ah, did I tell you I'll be shooting a movie soon ? It's called: Moonshine. It's about vampires, and this one apparently has a weakness.", Jeremy said, before Jay helped him up.

"Let me guess, getting drunk and chundering 'til the dingos come home ?", Jay said, as he began to walk his friend to the door.

"Are you psychic too, mate ?", Jeremy questioned, clearly astonished with his friend's accuracy. It was only because Jay knew the content of his friend's movies like the stuff he had stored away in his fridge.

"No, I'm not. But I wish you all the luck in the world.", Jay said as he held the door open for Jeremy and made a quick sidestep, shuffle-step, flap ball change back to the table. Jennifer was amazed.

"I wasn't aware you knew how to tap dance.", she said, applauding lightly.

"There is still so much you must learn about me, my dear.", Jay said, as he placed his hands atop hers tenderly and rubbed them affectionately. At least now, Jeremy was out of their hair and couldn't wreck his plans for the rest of the night.

Chapter 3—Diamond Champagne

At long last, Vlada had reappeared and had given Jennifer her glass with the ring in it. She hadn't noticed because the champagne camouflaged it somewhat.

"It's a very special drink for a very special lady, compliments of Meester Sherman.", Vlada said, adding a wink to Jennifer.

"Thank you Vlada, and remind me to tip you extra.", Jay said, in a rather generous mood with a congenial smile. He waited for Jennifer to notice the sparkle in the drink and then was caught with champagne on his face.

"A ring ? Jay, you sentimental fool !", Jennifer said, marveling at how large the diamond was. She found herself gazing at it idly and suddenly tearing up.

"What is it darling ? Are you weeping for joy ? I hope so…I love you so much.", Jay said sweetly, his words honest.

"Yes, and Jay…the answer is yes !", Jennifer said, bearing a glistening smile.

"Yes ! And my psychic said it could never happen !", Jay squealed, getting up to his feet and taking Jennifer in his arms. They danced to an imaginary tango to which Jay created lyrics to:

"Jennifer, you are my one true love

The blonde sent down from God above

To complete me

My everlasting melody

With a smoking hot body

That I can't ignore

Cause you're the one I adore…"

As he dipped Jennifer for a kiss, she prodded him in the side.

"I think our dinners have been served.", she said, giggling.

"Hello, dolly !", Jay said, making a quick exit to return to his meal. Jennifer, rolling her eyes a bit, joined her beau back at the table. He then realized how rude he had been.

"You know you're my first love. You're far more attractive than steak will ever be.", Jay stated, pulling at his collar nervously. Jennifer couldn't help but smile. His apologetic nature had caused him to fall in love with him all over again. He only wished for her to be happy and was eager to please her. No matter what pitfalls and obstacles lay ahead, she felt that her life would be an adventure once she became Jennifer Sherman. Of course, she would also be marrying into the family, which she had yet to meet. She knew of Marty, whom Jay talked about in length and showed off wallet photos of and was anxious to meet, but she knew little if anything about Franklin and Eleanor. As far as Jay was concerned, the least known about Franklin the better.

Chapter 4—Meet the Shermans

During the next evening, Jennifer dolled herself up and waited for Jay to pick her up. Just as the night before, he looked dashing in a tuxedo. He blushed and smiled upon seeing her again; almost forgetting he would have to take her to meet his family. Once the reality hit him, his expression turned into a grimace.

"Your parents aren't that bad are they ?", she questioned, becoming a little nervous. Jay avoided the subject and turned the conversation to something more interesting.

"Did I tell you that my sister Margot is graduating at the top of her class ?", he said, showing off more photos of his younger sister once more. Jennifer hadn't heard this recent news about Margot, but was impressed she had been doing so well in her studies.

Upon exiting Jay's sedan, Jennifer took her beau's arm to be directed to the Sherman estate. She had heard stories about the mansion before and tried not to be overwhelmed by the massive nature of it. She was then welcomed by Marty, Margot, Eleanor and Franklin. Franklin was as random as ever, but Jennifer found him charming as well as funny.

"I don't see why you think your parents are so bad, Jay. They're out of the ordinary. At this day and age I would think a family like this is in demand. You're so fortunate !", she said, as she sat down with them.

"I'd say she's definitely a keeper, Jay.", Franlkin stated as he sipped red wine slowly and took another bite of steak. Both mother and father really seemed to know how to live life; by savoring every moment.

Eleanor had asked Jay when he was going to marry Jennifer.

"Sometime around spring of next year. I don't think we want a large wedding, just close friends and family.", he responded. Jeremy and Duke were going to be his first best men, while Marty would proudly hold the title of ring bearer even if he was too old for the role. To him it didn't matter. He had a feeling this marriage was for keeps, and Jennifer was always so kind to him. She didn't judge, or condemn him. Just like his father, she loved him no matter what and saw the beauty in his heart.

Chapter 5—Married, At Last

Margot and Doris stood at the altar, fiddling with their dresses.

"Oh, honey ! These are so uncomfortable. I wish I could just rip this horrid thing off.", she complained.

"Tell me about it, but at least we look gorgeous.", Margot said, showing off her shoulder a little bit. They noticed Jay was nervous but elated as he fiddled with his bowtie. Elegantly, Mendelssohn's march played and Jennifer promenaded down the aisle, looking angelic. Jay felt his eyes water as he saw her for the first time and squealed lightly when she took his hand. Instead of reciting vows, Jay sang "Love Is a Many Splendored Thing" before exchanging rings with his bride-to-be. The minister, grinning, stated the two had been married and declared husband and wife. Jay dipped Jennifer flamboyantly to kiss her and drew her back up into his arms.

"Still full of surprises.", he whispered into her ear as she blushed and giggled.

All the critics Jay had ever known or worked with had appeared for the wedding and reception. All of them showed their support and were pleased that Jay had finally found happiness.

"We hope you have many more years of blessing. And, thank you for letting Vlada cater !", Vlada commented as he unexpectedly hugged Jay from the side.

"You can stop trying to fish for my wallet, Vlada. It's in my other pair of trousers.", Jay said, catching onto Vlada's coy manner. Vlada scoffed and awkwardly laughed, returning to work. Just then, Jay's attention was directed to the buffet table where there were fudge squares singing his praises. Jennifer took his hand and began to dance with him. For the first time in his life, food didn't seem as important as it had before in his existence. Right now the only object his eyes fixated upon was his newlywed wife.

"I must say, today I feel like the luckiest man in New York.", he confessed, placing his head upon her heart. She chuckled.

"Now you're just flattering me, Jay.", she stated, a bit flirtatiously.

"No, I speak the truth. You'll never get a lie from me, honey baby. Honest and upfront. What you see is what you get.", Jay said, perhaps a bit egotistically. His ego would wane in the next few months getting used to married life again but he couldn't have been happier with such a beautiful wife by his side. And besides, she was everything he wasn't and in that way, she completed him.

Chapter 6—Enter Rachel Eleanor

Jay had not planned to have more children in his life, but one day, the unexpected occurred when he was preparing for work. He had been reading the morning newspaper, sipping a freshly made cup of Joe and his five o'clock shadow was prevalent. He was semi-conscious and had been reading the latest news on gas and oil prices with great disgust.

"Honey, I'm pregnant !", Jennifer stated, excitedly. Jay sputtered out his coffee, nearly choking.

"Pregnant ? How can that be possible ? I could've sworn I was impotent.", Jay said, trying to catch his breath. The room began spinning and he found it difficult to comprehend how such an event was, well, conceivable. He didn't think that at his age he would have the ability to produce viable sperm but once again his body proved him wrong.

"Are you sure ? Did you take a pregnancy test ?", Jay said, now fully awake to everything that was happening around him. She held the little white stick in front of him which revealed a tiny pink cross in its window.

"You have got to be kidding !", Jay said, holding his head in his hand. Marty, who had been visiting for the weekend, had gotten word of the news and was overjoyed. Secretly, he had always wanted to be a big brother and now his wish had been granted.

"I'm going to have a little sibling !", Marty sang as he leapt about the house before going to school. He was obliviously unaware that infants were a ridiculous amount of work but he would learn that the hard way.

Jay wasn't certain of what to do. He called to get advice from his father, who offered him this advice,

"Nurture your garden, son, give it plenty of miracle grow, and in time, you'll have cantaloupes bigger than basketballs." To this, he responded with slight sarcasm,

"Thanks dad…Good to know."

Then he decided to ask his mother for wisdom, and she was overjoyed to be having another grandchild in the Sherman clan.

"You know that Margot can baby-sit the little fellow whenever you need us to. We know you're a hardworking man and Jennifer is a workaholic too.", Eleanor said.

"Thanks mom. I was thinking, if the baby's female, I'd name her Rachel Eleanor. What do you think ?", Jay said, finally wrapping his mind around the concept of another child. He thought to himself, perhaps it wouldn't be so awful to have a new baby but he hoped that he would be a good father. As far as he was aware, Marty was turning out to be a fine, upstanding gentleman and he was growing handsomer every day.

Had the baby been born a boy, he was to be named Joseph Franklin, but the child was female. Jennifer had quite a bit of pain birthing Rachel, but she was a normal, healthy, plump baby with quite a set of pipes. She had let everyone know she was in the world, and no sooner had she been set in daddy's arms had she quieted down to his soft, sweet, melodic tone. His songs had lulled her quickly into slumber. Jay's eyes filled with tears as he held his baby girl close, kissing the top of her soft forehead.

"She's just as pretty as you are, dear.", Jay stated, weeping joyously. Jennifer cooed at the infant, seeing her smile for the first time and like a director, Jay had caught every moment on film.

"This has to be the greatest thing I've produced since Marty.", Jay stated, reverently. Marty, who was watching with him, agreed. He was surprised the whole birthing process hadn't caused him to faint and he had the honor of carrying his little sister out to the car as his father helped his new mother out of the hospital bed, onto her feet, and back home where she could rest for a bit. It wouldn't be long for Jennifer to sit around though because she was recovering rapidly.

Epilogue

As Rachel grew, so did her love for the movies. She, Marty, Jay and Jennifer were all movie buffs and she didn't always agree with her father's assessment of the movies. They had become an Ebert and Roper of their own accord and thanks to her involvement, even at the tender age of seven, Coming Attractions had doubled in popularity. Rachel had become a permanent fixture since Duke saw her as a gold mine.

"No offense, Jay but your daughter is adorable and you're…well, not.", he stated, patting his old buddy on the back to console him. Jay found the gesture a bit patronizing, but comforting nonetheless.

"I know, Duke. I'm aware I'm not up to snuff when it comes to good looks but I am glad the program is doing so incredibly well now. I see a bright future for her, and Marty will be graduating next year. He's playing guitar again, much better than in the past and is thinking on getting a musical degree. I told him a degree like that should be a minor and he should think of another one of his passions as a major for a backup plan. He looked at me as if I was crazy, but I had to do the same thing myself.", Jay said, reminiscing a bit upon his own childhood.

"I know, you've told me 1,000,000 times already, Sherman. Sheesh, give it a rest. I'm just glad you're living a charmed life and thank you for brightening up mine.", Duke complimented clapping his friend on the shoulder again. Jay grinned effervescently and turned to see Rachel had gone to play canasta with Doris. Marty had just called on Jay's cell phone and asked the typical question, "What's for dinner ?", and of course, Jay let him have his pick. Tonight was Italian night and there was a restaurant in Little Italy they adored frequenting. With that said Rachel got to say her goodbyes to Doris (while giving her a little kiss before she departed), took her daddy's hand jubilantly and took the cab to meet Marty in Little Italy.

As they ate the Shermans spoke about their day, humor and life in general. Rachel entertained them with stories about Doris and the fun they had together playing canasta. They all laughed and ate until they were full and returned to their home to watch game shows until the evening. Tomorrow, Rachel would be spending the night with her friends so Marty and Jay would be palling around during the weekend. Jennifer, who was a bit of a tomboy, knew just the activity she and the guys could participate in.

"I hear there's a big monster truck rally tomorrow and I have been saving up for the three of us to go.", she said, eagerly. Secretly, she had been wanting to see Grave Digger in action and had been a Digger fan her whole life.

"Sweet !", Marty said, practically jumping up and down in his chair. Rachel was happy for her brother, since she knew how much he had wanted to see a rally and had never had the chance when he was little, since Ardeth never allowed him to be exposed to such "nonsensical violence". All that was important now was that they were living their lives to the fullest and remembering how blessed they were from day to day. If they never forgot that, there would never be a day they regretted again because they knew they were full of love, promise, hope and faith.

The End