Disclaimer: You know I don't own Halo, so don't hate!
This is what really happened before the discovery of the first halo. How masterchief became who he was. By the way Eric Nylund LIED TO ALL OF US! This is what really happened!
(No…not really cries )
hAlO-the reel story
Chapter 13557, master chiefs log:
Space, the final frontier. It…is…a…vast…and…open vacuum…
British voice wait a tic, this is the captain's log, not the master chief's log. This is how it should be.
Master Chief's Log 1/17/117b.c. (Before Covenant):
I've heard that war is hell, but the people that say that should really come around the SPARTAN training center on REACH. I know that we are only 7 and 8 years old but everyone picked, "the special people," are babies! I am a genius compared to anyone here! And to top that I am only 7 years old. Not to mention, the Instructors creep me out. They are kinda like the people that my mom warned me to stay away from. They make us stand out in the cold every morning with only our underwear on. They say it is to teach us to not be afraid. Personally, I don't think that's the reason.
Please O' great Chuck Norris, free me from this prison!
Today was Monday. That meant that it was MRE style hot dogs (half a hot dog in grayish moldy cracker with artificial bacon flavor). There was a protein shake that went with it that was supposed to wash it down, but it only backed me up. When it finally came time to go I was given a small 4x4, single-ply piece of paper. I couldn't even fold it. I hate this place. Did I mention that I'm the only worthy, useful, strong, and smart one here?
Journal of Private Piles 1969a.d.:
I don't want to be here. No one likes me.
WTF:
Sorry about that mix up it's just that I was watching TV while doing this. Just to tell you I don't want to be here either sob … someone stomps away Okay that wasn't me there, now just enjoy the story.
Commander Humbugnessness's Log:
If you think my last name is long you should see my first name.
On their third day of training the young SPARTANS were sent out to capture a drop ship. That was three days ago.
Wait I am getting word that they have all made it back with the exception of the really slow runner, Kellen. She should be along in a couple of days.
Master Chief's Log 1/19/117b.c.:
Once again I've proven myself smarter than everyone else.
We were sent on a mission to capture one of the drop ships from the woods. As predicted all the others cried like babies. So, I killed the guards, single handedly, and carried the "little babies" to the ship. Then after hijacking the ship from the lazy A.I. Deja, I flew us back home. Now the somewhat annoying commander wants to talk to me.
In the office of Commander Humbugnessnessness:
"Did you weally do all the above."
"Yes, Commander." I said gloomily. Man this guy is an idiot
"Awww don't look so sad little Johnny-Wonnykins. My advisos told me to tell you something weally weally impoitant and I will now tell you that weally impoitant thing. You reading a card of what to tell John (yes that is his real name) have been demoted, uh oops, pwomoted from pwivate to Masta Chiefy Wiefy."
Master Chief's log that night:
Wow, sarcasm more responsibility. Once again I will say that I am smarter than the adults here.
I will kill them all…uhhh, no I won't. You didn't here me think that. Uhhh…. Peace! Little chief Runs away
In case you've noticed I've been quoting and making fun of a few movies. You would have if you're a movie fan. Well, chapter 2, comin' at you soon. While you wait you could listen to Iron Maiden, buy one of their cd's, come back and chapter 2 will be here.