My Dearest Darling

Quinntana One shot

random verse

part 1 of 2

titled after the great Etta James song

no beta so sorry for my mistakes

I never thought this day would come. Yet when I woke up this morning my arms draped around the soft curves of my everything snuggling in the crook of her neck hearing her deep breaths of peaceful slumber. I thought that this might really be my reality waking up to her the most amazing feeling in the world. I am blessed to be with the love of my life, my oldest and best friend. The woman of my dreams that for a time I wouldn't allow myself to contemplate nor believed was possible but thank god we found each other again because I never wish to part a fleeting moment from her.

This moment the perpetual moments spent with her has left me in a state I never thought possible. All the cliche sayings comply I am complete, whole, so happy to former classmates I am somewhat unrecognizable until I bring out my former hbic and my signature attitude smirk, and the lima heights slur of my words. Even then I believe they see right through it, well but they respect it like they should. We laugh it off and move on.

As I grab the other porcelain hand brushing mine briefly, I lace our fingers together hoping she stays asleep. I can always feel her in my presence feel her aura, feel her heart or mine because she has all of me everywhere I go but right now I feel so blessed. I am not a religious woman after escaping lima and my family's deep catholic roots I have never gone back to that state of mind but this had to be from somewhere unimaginable and spectacular.

Sue was right years ago when we find our person you become tethered to them. I have felt her leave my presence and then the familiar warm feeling of my heart beating faster and my face flushing with recognition sweeps over me like a storm. Even if you couldn't tell by my latin coloring I quake knowing she is there. This happens when she returns constantly after 3 years together and countless more as just friends in the past you would think you would desensitize but no I am glad to feel her this much to be at her mercy to feel her love always.

She grazes a graceful hand down my back in her sleep and I shiver in happiness, connection excitement and so much more that is not aptly described by words. Life could not be more perfect. She begins to shift and mumbles cutely as the weekend sunlight streams from our window. It illuminates her features so well that its as if she is unreal almost divine perfect in every way. I sit up and brush her golden and honey locks away from her face. I just sit there admiring her thinking years ago artists would flock to her pleading to have her sit for the masters of that time. They would attempt to capture her unmatched beauty in paintings of noblewomen, queens and goddesses. I could picture them gasping at the art before them of her posing gracefully. They would be shocked at her enrapturing beauty the likes of which they only thought existed in deities of ancient times. It made me smile thinking this and having her with me now.

I start tracing my fingers hovering right above her skin the planes of her face not actually touching her to wake her. I take my hand away and place it on her stomach underneath the covers. I feel her muscles contract from breathing. I love touching her sometimes just to make sure that she is real to have that small comfort and contact. Her silky skin hypnotizes me into a trance she goes into a deeper sleep humming almost purring in contentment murmuring my name on those addicting lips which I crave and swoon over constantly.

It warms my heart as I adjust to place my lips on her collar bone exposed by her flimsy tank top. I trace her tattoo on her ribcage now with my fingertips the elegant script the meaning a testament to the essence of the woman I love. Its her way to honor someone lost and I respect that as well as everything about her.

I finally know the meaning of never being able to live without someone. I was naively blind with my first infatuation. My teenage self knew nothing in retrospect when I threw those words out after my ego was damaged. After Brittany choosing someone else over me she was my supposed to be my best friend. Those days are long gone but i scoff in amusement from time to time at myself and the people we knew.

While in the embrace of my lover I contemplate in the early hours so much and nothing at all savoring the passing time just peaceful like this. Our locks tangle and I smile in appreciation in how right it is to have her all over me and not just in the sexual sense regularly but the metaphysical way that I can't clarify in words alone. I yearned early on to call this angel mine, my girlfriend since our first date and to say it now even in passing makes my heart soar.

I was extremely careful about expressing how I felt. I didn't open up and tell her I loved her immediately even if i knew it deep down. I waited for and gauged her, to see if she changed her mind, wanted out or showed doubt in those hypnotizing eyes but it never came up. Instead she shared with me let me in. She owns me branded me with her love and I sport it proudly.

She surprised me and asked me to be her girlfriend to be in a serious and monogamous relationship. I was not able to respond in words in the sheer moment of overwhelming emotion but nod and stare into those eyes that I was having trouble seeing. I tried to hide my sniffles and tears of surprise. All i know is i felt elation at her touch relief of the world's burden in that moment. I kissed her senseless on the beach that day as we strolled in silence linked in a new found place of being.

She stirs a little bit we turn over and she envelops me from behind nuzzling the back of my neck. I feel her soft breathe and sigh as she mumbles "mmm baby lets sleep s'more." She then yawns and her breath evens out once again as I stroke the hand draped lazily over my stomach. I am awake and just revel in my contemplation. I close my eyes and go back to the time when I confessed my true feelings in Paris a year into our blossoming relationship. We left some things unsaid well at least I did she voiced her feelings to me more than me to her. Yet she wasn't put off but whatever I did to wordlessly convey my heart; she understood.

We understand each other on a another level and that is why I love this woman so. I said the words I love you during our Paris trip that magical city that she adores so much. I prefer Italy for some reason. I traveled there abroad and studied a semester in college but I appreciate Paris especially seeing her light up which also makes it magical to me.

She cried in happiness in the wake of that moment in a quaint inn later that trip in the outskirts of Paris the landscape gorgeous and picturesque. I got down on one knee. I have no idea why maybe because of the seriousness of the moment. I was not planning on proposing to her even though I have always wanted to. In the past being this happy and her maybe saying yes seemed like to much of a fairytale for me to actually do such a thing.

The funny thing was I realized everyday of my life is a fairytale because I wake up to her and go to bed with my soul mate every mourning and night. So I finally said why not? I will live my life to the fullest. There is nothing to hide. She will not leave me and I trust her to carry my heart and not break me like so many others before her.

"Lucy Quinn Fabray you are my everything, my heart's desire. I need to tell you in words even though I tried to show it. I love you with everything I have. I am deeply and irrevocably in love with you. You are my one and only and I hope to never part from you. I love you. I love you so much I can't even begin to explain and I vow to show you everyday you give me." She cried in both shock, happiness and an exuberance. I cannot explain those mystifying hazel orbs that left me breathless and weak in that moment. I squeezed her hands to bring her back to me. She smiled and the world stopped she said the words "I love you too, Santana Lopez." She yanks me up pulls me into her strong arms and we kiss each other senseless on that balcony.
~~~~~~~

It has been two years today since that moment. Last year was a bad year for us I lost my abuela, Frannie did not take our relationship well along with her whole family and Quinn's job was torturous. She finally quit her fashion magazine editing job (they really toyed with her never really established a position.) She then took up her passion in creative writing not even bothering to find another miserable editing job with a tyrant for a boss.

I took up extra hours at my work making it a difficult year in my job as a record executive/talent scout and song writer. I have made albums they were hits on the radio but I wasn't extremely popular like a rihanna or beyonce especially once the public learned I was a lesbian. You would think times have changed but some industries remain the same. Anyway, I get recognized from time to time depending on where I go. I was a huge star at one point though but it wasn't satisfying after 3 years worth of an artist's life especially living a lie. The record company and managers made me hide the truth and I told the press anyway. I still made 2 albums after that.

I desired something stable after those years to broaden my horizons and challenge me. So I worked hard and got promoted to be an executive. The touring was fun at first, partying and perks but it was devastatingly lonely and not for me. I still write, record my music after all I have complete access to several recording studios. Singing and music will always be my calling I just do it for myself now. I am a silent partner and executive and I love it believe it or not it is very flexible for me now.

We stuck together through the hard times of last year and tragedies like our best friends miscarriage. Mercedes and her husband Sam struggled and we were there with them the whole year as support. Artie died on a surgical table trying to fix his spine in a risky operation to walk. That devastated the glee group even though I once harbored resentment for the man. Brittany, his wife I tried to lend her support but the life in her faded away she still teaches dance though in Arizona. It just seemed like life tested and tested everyone of us to the brink of exhaustion and despair.

This year has turned a corner our lives have changed. Mercedes has two healthy twins Sam is ecstatic we are godparents. I have coped with my abuela's death it hit me hard especially since we never made up or she never accepted me since that day in her kitchen. Although Quinn's family especially frannie reacted negatively it seemed as if their hostility and anger wore off Judy seemed to be in the accepting phase now but that could be temporary. Quinn's novel a piece of wonderful, riveting historical fiction flew off the shelves. They want her to write a series and I suggested we go to Europe a place of rich history and wonder to inspire her.

It so happened to be our 3 year anniversary was coming up. Two years ago in Paris was magical and we became renewed with a vigor as we found ourselves again exploring the countries of the world. It just so happened to coincide that way.

Here we are back to my bed with my beloved. We are currently in a villa in Tuscany. I rented it for a month after a month of gallavanting all over the world it seemed. I rented it as a surprise to Quinn as a much needed vacation and break. I told Quinn that Italy held a special place in my heart and I dreamed of nothing more then bringing someone special with me one day to explore it once again. She said she loved it and was in a state of awe as we traveled to our villa.

I have been waiting and planning to ask her to marry me ever since we got back from paris. I even went ring shopping did my research but was disappointed. I couldn't find exactly what ring I wanted for Quinn. Nothing was special enough, spoke as a testament to our love it just wasn't right. Proposing to her is the most right thing in my mind to do but I wasn't going to do it with some cliche shitty tiffany's ring or something generic like that. No that was not going to fly for the Quinn Fabray.

I stumbled into a high end Vintage store one day in NY that just opened. I happened to make friends with the owners 2 fabulous gay guys that gave kurt a run for his money. I actually told them of my issue. We became good friends and went out to dinner regularly. Jay and Jade are an amazing couple. On the day after my promotion Jay called me that I needed to go to the shop because he found something for me.

It was perfect for her in every way he got it at an auction I told him I would reimburse him whatever the price if he found the ring for me one day. Its a yellow gold but aged a little bit its an antique left over from a grand estate. The ring has leaves and tendrils of gold woven and placed with little diamonds ever so perfectly. The setting the diamond was not there so I bought a 5 carat princess cut diamond and fit it to the ring. It is beautiful I have managed to hide it successfully and bring it with me to Italy. I reached over into my bedside table to retrieve the black box hopefully she doesn't wake.

I have been waiting for a moment a location a place to create memories. It just didn't feel like I should do this in public as much as I want to shout to the world that my love Quinn Fabray is mine. I wanted to surprise her and give her that moment of utter shock. Maybe its because I am a private person now with my brief 3 year affair with fame it was too invasive too much. I enjoyed aspects of it but I wasn't the type of person to make a spectacle of myself for others amusement maybe my younger self but not anymore.

I spontaneously decide to do it now in our own little world our bed just for us. I just can't wait to declare my everlasting love in this gesture anymore it feels right. So I start to pepper kisses along her neck up to her ear when I whisper, "amore, wake up for me please. I have something for you." She groans and mumbles cutely sighs and says, "mmm San don't want to." This is code for cuddle and kiss me more so that is exactly what I do. Kiss those lips insistently, forcefully she didn't expect it and woke up. I am finally staring into those hazel eyes that I can read every flick of emotion in that have captured me. I start to tell her what I have for her: "Ever since that day I met you I wanted you, hell I told mi mama that I was going to marry you someday. A lot has happened in our lives to separate and alienate us yet you never left me. I loved you since the first time I saw you yet I didn't say it. I made the mistake again to not express myself fully partly years later because I couldn't believe my dreams were coming true that you that this was real. You are my everything, my one and only Quinn Fabray and all I ask is for you to make me the most happy person in the world by being my wife. I have wanted to make you mine since Paris and yet the world tested us last year and I wouldn't have been here today without you. I love you always and forever you are my heart and in my soul. Will you marry me?"

She gasps in surprise eyes watering. She listens to every word I say despite how nervous I am she strokes my hand and lifts her other to my face gazing into my eyes as happy tears stream. The smiles she gives me in response has me reeling. This moment is perfect.

She takes a breath takes the box from my hand and opens it ever so gently and carefully. The gasp of happinness and sheer joy as she shouts "Yes, yes I love you so much." No word in that moment only elation. We kiss like its the last moments on earth passionate, happy, thankful and possessive. I slip the ring on her finger the one that has mi corazon inscribed inside with the date of Paris inside and I couldn;t be more blown away. We make love the rest of the day stayed in and celebrated with me cooking my favorite traditional Italian dishes. I can't wait to see her walk down the aisle. She calls all her friends and family and I watch in fascination and joy. Mama already knows and has told the family I let Quinn ring up her whole address book.

She looks at me cheekily with that smirk on her face, "Darling guess what now we get to plan a wedding." The way she says it with mischief in her eyes and utter joy makes me want to propose to her 1000x over.

TBC for part 2

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