The Mocking Song
Kaoru and Tamaki sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G
It had virtually no standing. The one words that sprang to mind every time I looked at him was--No… There was no such words, or at least no proper word that could describe the feelings--No! Nonononono! The non-existent feelings, maybe but defiantly no the…the actual ones…
Oh good lord, I'm screwed aren't I?
Kaoru and Tamaki sitting in a tree. T-O-N-G-U-I-N-G
Maybe smashing a picture frame wasn't the wisest thing to do, but it also wasn't the easiest. The looks that Hikaru and Haruhi gave me were hilarious; I don't think they expected me to act that way, Hikaru's always the irrational and violent one. Kyouya glared at me and I know he'll make me pay for the damage done. Hunny ate cake and Mori spared me a look before moving his cousin away from the 'enraged Hitachiin'. But, you see, I wasn't looking at them.
I don't think that the idiotic, stupid, moronic, overly dramatic, childish, ignorant, crazy, ignorant, childish, overly dramatic, moronic, stupid idio--…Wait….
Anyway, I don't think he even looked at me, he was too busy grappling with my brother for Haruhi's attention. This was originally what lead to the breaking of the picture frame, and the tearing of the oil painting it held. The flowers weren't too happy with me, but I wasn't with myself either.
Why the hell was I acting like this again? Oh right. The four letter word that I was both fighting for and against.
Kaoru and Tamaki sitting in a tree. G-R-O-P-I-N-G
I think I've sold my soul, inadvertently or not. In truth, it started with my dream last night. I met the devil, and he had black hair and glasses. He wrote my name in his notebook and growled: "You are doomed to suffer deep within your heart!" To which I responded: "But my heart doesn't hurt yet." The devil just smiled and then vanished.
Next, came the Hall of Mirrors and the rose thorns. I pricked my finger on the thorn and even though it was a dream, I know it hurt. After than, I smeared the blood across a mirror and suddenly Hikaru was there, smiling at me. "What do you want, brother?" I answered: "To not feel the pain of my heart that the devil told me about."
He just smiled at me and said "What will you do to avoid it?"
"Anything."
And then I woke up. It was three in the morning, an unreasonable hour at best, and I was in no mood to deal with my twin, who was thrashing and attempting to kick me off the bed. Instead, I just turned onto my said and tried to sleep. I would do anything to sleep at that moment and just to forget the dream.
Kaoru and Tamaki sitting in a tree. S-U-C-K-I-N-G
Mood swings. I attribute this all to mood swings. I can't help but mope around the club today, sulking randomly and slumping over table tops. One couldn't call it spectacular hosting, but it did the trick.
"Kaoru," Hikaru whined once the girl's had left. "What's wrong with you?"
I didn't answer him. He tried a couple more times, all derivations of 'what wrong?' and all unanswered. He was starting to get mad and I finally told him that I was sick. In truth, one couldn't call this a chronic illness. It was more of they type that made me want to write angst-filled love poems and put on make-up. It was the kind of illness that had me running to the bathroom every thirty minutes; the kind that had me waking at night in a cold sweat; the kind that most would use drugs, hookers or golf to get rid of the urges. But, for me, it was the kind that left you sad, unloved and utterly miserable. In fact, even thinking about the…the…him made me want to cry now adays. God, I felt pregnant.
However, something good finally came of it.
"Devilish red headed twin?" I slipped in my sudden jerked movement and hit my head on the table. My forehead thumped vaguely as I looked up at the very face that haunted me. "What is wrong? Are you unhappy, my son!!?!?!? Tell me what's ailing you and I shall exert myself to the best of my abilities to make it better!" He sniffed dramatically. "I simply cannot stand it when someone's unhappy." Tears glistened in his eyes and I felt the bottom drop out of my stomach as I was…
Hugged…
And even though the only thought in my head was that I could write a wonderful and morbid story about an event like this, looking back at it…it felt good.
Kaoru and Tamaki sitting in a tree. F-U-C-K-I--
"And so I get it. I completely understand why I should not be in love with my upperclassman because, yes, that was my brief story of unrequited love and the steps in which I went through to get rid of it." Kaoru splashed cold water onto his face and reached blindly for one of the bathroom's towels.
He was still in the third music room's private bathroom an hour after having originally excused himself. Why you may ask. Because the first four times he had looked at Suoh Tamaki, conflicting and opposite emotions had plagued him. It must have started a month ago, and it had deeply disturbed him. However, now that those feelings had hopefully dissipated…
Slam.
The door had opened without so much as a sound and in had stormed the aforementioned Tamaki, shirt soaked and hair a sticky mess. Tamaki paused and cocked his head to the side. "Kaoru?" The red head felt his stomach jump into his mouth and then back down past his knee caps. A large smile curved the blonde's lips upwards (rosy red lips, that caused little dimples whenever he--NO! No, stop it!) and made a noise of realization. "Oh! So this is where you were? Hikaru's getting worried about you; he said you've been acting off."
The Hitachiin tried his best to grin, or laugh it off, but he couldn't. It came out more of a shaken moan in acapella and pained sounding. Tamaki blinked. "Eh…are you okay? Do you need the nurse?"
"I've been shot."
"OHMIGOD! You have!?!!?? Where!!?!? Show me!! SOMONE CALL AND AMBU--"
"Not really, tono," Kaoru deadpanned, his eyes gazing from the floor and hot blood flowing into his cheeks. "I meant…like" --the shorter of the two made a small motion to signify shooting an arrow-- "Like a cupid or something…"
It took a couple seconds for what the younger of the devilish red headed twins had said to register with the blond, and .008 seconds after that for a smile to curve his lips. "Oh, Kaoru, you're in love? That's so sweet! Who is she? It's not Haruhi, is it?"
"No, senpai," he scoffed. "Far off base. Different category. Different sex, anyway."
"Oooooh!" Tamaki cooed, quickly crossing from parental enthusiasm to recondition. "So you really are a homosexual supporting character."
"Don't call me that!" he snapped, blushing even further. Tamaki blinked, shocked, and he lowered his head again. "Sorry…I guess you don't have anything to worry about with Haruhi on my end of the playing field."
He smiled even wider and, feeling his heart reverberate in his chest a couple abnormal times, and the heat move into his eyes in the for of liquid, Kaoru prepared to brush past the blond and exit the host club for the safety to cry in secret in another bathroom. It hurt, still. He thought he'd finally accepted the fact that it was hopeless, but to see him standing there, a love struck and idiotic grin on his mouth opened every single stitched up wound the boy had suffered earlier.
He'd managed to get three feet behind Tamaki before the liquid began to flow, hotly, down his cheeks. But that was also when he spoke. "Naw, I guess she doesn't--on either of our parts…"
He froze, face still hot and heart still beating irregularly. "You….what?"
Tamaki smiled. "You heard me…"
-Fin-