HOW
"I did it!" I made the claim with slightly shaky triumph and gladly accepted the praise that followed later but I can't hide the truth from myself, and the truth is: I did nothing. HE did it all...and I have no idea how.
I invited him here so I could rub his face in my success and instead I'm left with the knowledge that I can never match him. Not even close. Its bad enough that my great project turned out to be his work, permanent proof that I am not above stealing ideas to get ahead but it isn't the worst of it.
"They'll slow me down..."
And we did. After all the arguments, we did exactly what he had wanted to do from the beginning. And it would almost certainly have worked...if I hadn't lost my nerve.
"I'm Dr. Rodney McKay, difficult takes a few seconds, impossible...a few minutes"
It should have sounded preposterous. An arrogant, over-confident statement from an arrogant man, but it didn't. It sounded true.
"Okay, look, there's too many people in here, I have important work to do, so everybody - OUT!"
He took command...and everyone followed him, including me. I saw problems and the situation getting worse and he saw opportunity. I said it was impossible and he did in minutes what would have taken me weeks or even months of painstaking work.
"Before I run it, check my math"
"I have been, why do you think I'm standing here?"
The code was nearly complete before he left and it never occurred to either of us to check his maths. It was a constant, like pi. If he had written it, it was right.
I was afraid...and he wasn't. His confidence kept me from panic and I didn't realise it. I didn't realise how different his concern was from my fear until I saw true fear in his eyes...not for himself or the situation but for her.
I wanted him here to prove that I had beaten him. How did it backfire so badly?