Susan turned to the man she dearly loved. His smile made her warm inside. But this new vision of Peter made her heart ice cold. He didn't smile, didn't laugh, only spent hours in his study…thinking. Susan didn't like it when he thought for too long. It made him more logical, almost so logical that he became illogical. Her hand on his cold shoulder didn't help anymore. Her polite kiss on his soft cheek did not make him swell up inside. It was all gone. She hated what he was doing to himself. She knew what he was thinking, and she wanted him to stop. Often he would leave when she was mid-sentence, as if he was somewhere else. Lucy and Edmund noticed their older brother's change in habit as well. They knew that he was acting differently toward Susan, and they sighed each time they saw him coldly turn her away. They knew his past, and they predicted his future. No one thought it would work, and Peter was finally letting those thoughts get to him. Peter began to see all the things that were wrong with him and Susan, while Susan only focused on the depth of their love.
The bravery in Peter's eyes had diminished. All there was now was uncertainty and regret. Susan hoped that when she looked into his eyes, she could somehow change what he was pondering. She would accompany him on his evening walks, and for some moment it seemed like he would be having fun. Then someone would walk by, stare at the two siblings, and he would separate from Susan, leaving her in a state of depression. Peter didn't know that Susan purposely deprived herself of food. He didn't know that him being so bitter caused her to be so vulnerable. Susan wouldn't eat for days; she would just stare at herself in the mirror. Lucy and Edmund also noticed their sister's loss in weight, but they didn't dare say anything. They both knew that what she was feeling was so wretched and horrible; they couldn't say anything to make her feel better. It was a late evening in December when Peter finally left his study. Susan was waiting outside as always. Hoping, debating. Peter walked up to Susan, and held her hands in his hands. Susan smiled, and Peter gently wiped her tears away. Susan could see that he had cried too, and she began to lash out into tears. She wanted to stop him from saying anything that he couldn't take back. When she starting hysterically crying, Peter held her close, attempting to hush her. He brushed back hair from her face and kissed her lips delicately. Susan attempted to smile, only making it harder for her to be happy. Susan knew what Peter was doing and Peter definitely knew what he was doing. Peter let go of her hands, and Susan cried into them. Peter began to slowly walk away, leaving Susan behind, and then he turned around.
"I'll always love you……I'm sorry."