Disclaimer: I don't own SVU or the characters. Don't sue.
Authors note: This is my first fic back on the scene so please tell me what you think :) Thank you Robeca for being my beta.
The Art of the Hug
A hug in real life is not a capable or worthy thing to be remembered. A hug in real life is just the mere touch of another human being. A hug can be from anyone, a lover, a close friend, an acquaintance or someone who you barely even know. These hugs usually mean nothing and rarely leave the receiving person wanting more.
A fictional hug was so much better than any real hug Alexandra Cabot had ever received. The words upon the page even gave warmth to the reader. The fictional hug had so much that Alex wanted to feel.
The way that the simple gesture makes your breath catch within your throat and you don't want to break the experience by the mere thought of breathing.
Or the way that you just have to close your eyes and inhale the smell of conditioner that surrounds you. The way you automatically decide that you love that smell and beg that you'll be able to smell it again.
The hug itself would make you lose all intellect and you would just fall deeper and deeper into their body, moulding yourself so you fit so perfectly that you never want to leave. You get a sense of happiness and comfort that you can't ever remember having before so you savour it and you cling just a little tighter, but not too much.
You feel the light brush of their breast again yours and your heart just melts knowing that such a simple thing as a hug could allow you to feel them in such an erotic yet innocent way at the same time. There is the slight pulse of their heartbeat and you beg to God that they can't hear yours, thumping erratically hoping to get as close as it can to the heart beating next to it.
The way their breath tickles your ear and you get a sense of comfort knowing that their arms are wrapped around you and keeping you safe from the world, and your thoughts. You feel home and you never want to leave.
That was the type of hug Alexander Cabot wanted to experience. All great novels had these types of hugs.
She places her book back onto the coffee tables as she rises to make herself a cup of her favourite tea. A sigh escapes her mouth as a warm sensation starts to build in the bottom of her stomach. Something so magical from such a simple gesture made Alex's mind swell, she was a little sceptical that such a thing was real.
Looking around her kitchen, Alex had a sudden feeling of loneliness and decided to just go to bed and let the thoughts disappear and the dreams to begin. A breathtaking hug wasn't needed in her life; a lover was not needed in her life. Or that's what Alex had told herself.
-x-
-x-
Walking into the station Alex could hear the laugher of her detectives which was an unusual thing in itself; however, the teasing could easily be heard and appreciated.
'Come on, Munch, you need to be able to laugh at yourself, man,' the chirpy voice of Fin reached her ears.
'Well next time we'll laugh at you,' Munch's voice disdainfully echoed the room and the laugher followed however when they heard the clicking of Alex's heels, they quietened down unbeknown that Alex had already heard and was begging to be part of that 'family'.
Walking in the room Alex could see all the detectives carefully looking over their DD5's and give no knowledge of even hearing Alex enter. This was how it has always been since she started working at SVU just over a month ago. Alex knew that she gave off a snotty, 'I'm better than you vibe,' but growing up with the behaviour of her parents, she didn't know how to act any differently. And this just stopped all of her chances of being part of this family.
'Detectives, is the captain in his office?' Alex asked, trying to at least being on speaking terms with her detectives.
'He's just gone to the bathroom. He'll be back in a few,' Olivia replied, looking up straight into Alex's eyes. Unlike the rest of the team, Olivia had always been pleasant to Alex as she knew how it felt to be in a male dominated world.
'Oh, thank you. I'll just wait in his office,' Alex excused herself, smiling and nodding to Olivia in thanks.
When her chat was over with the captain, Alex walked straight past the detectives without a second thought. During the few minutes alone in Cragan's office, Alex had decided that she wasn't going to change who she was for anyone, and a true family shouldn't need her to. She had been alone for a long time, she can be alone for a longer time if needs be.
Closing in on the elevator, Alex could hear the tell tale signs of someone following her and when her name was called she knew who it was immediately.
'I'm really sorry about all that, we...them...it's just that you're new and they haven't taken to you straight away. You're quite a handful compared to what we're used to, Counselor,' Olivia's sincere yet strong voice stated.
'I know, Olivia, but thank you for being the only one trying,' Alex replied, pressing the button for the elevator.
'You're trying as well, Alex and I was wondering if maybe you would like to come for drink with us? Try and let them get to know you, and you to know us?'
Alex was completely shocked with such a question, 'I really don't think that would be the best idea, detective.'
'Then I guess it's going to be like this from now on then.' Olivia added as she started slowly walk backwards. Giving a small smile to Alex, she turned and started to walk away. Alex knew that she had to be the bigger man and decided that she wasn't changing herself, just bending around her stubborn behaviour.
'Detective!' Alex shouted, looking around self consciously to see if anyone had turned their attention to see what the shouting was about. Sighing, she grunted, 'What time?'
-x-
-x-
The drinks with her detectives went as well as imagined, that being not very good at all. Olivia and the Captain were the only ones really trying to initiate conversation, however Alex was growing to feel respected by Olivia more and more.
'I'm just going to excuse myself to the bathroom,' Alex's elegant voice mentioned about the ruckus of the room, and with that Olivia started her monologue.
'You guys need to stop acting like little children. We're all here to do the same job and by you three ignoring and intimating her, it isn't making this any easier to adjust. You need to understand that your behaviour is affecting our work and the victims,' Olivia passionately stated, Cragan soon following on with harshness.
'Olivia is right, we are a squad and we work together to get justice for the victims. With my detectives acting hostile to the person who ultimately has the last say, I have to say I'm ashamed. We are a family, and we support our family and we will support Alex. If not, I suggest that maybe this job has become too much for you all and you should think about a transfer. If you cannot try to understand someone who is different from us, then we have a problem.'
Just as Alex walked back to the table, the detectives agreed to change their behaviour towards the ADA.
'Erm, sorry for going so early but I'm going to call it a night. I've got an early court appearance for the Tyler case in the morning,' Alex revealed as the feeling of the bars atmosphere added with the hostile behaviour from its attendance soon sucked the life out or her.
Clearing his throat, Elliot was the first one to stand up and look Alex in the eye, 'I'm sorry for the way I've acted since you arrived, it was unprofessional and it won't affect the way we work.'
'Yeah, we're all sorry. You're the new kid on the block but tomorrow we'll be good,' Fin added.
'And I really wanted to talk to you about your view on how far free speech should be able to go, these fools are juvenile in the form of freedom of speech,' Munch offered with a smile.
Thank you, it means a lot.' Alex genuinely smiled and looked to Olivia, as she knew that Olivia was the culprit to this apology. 'I'll see you guys tomorrow, enjoy the rest of your night,' Alex grinned and gave a small laugh and a shake of her head as she collected her things.
'I'll walk you out, councillor,' Olivia replied as she stood up to escort Alex out of the bar.
'Thank you for that detective. I'm sure you used one of your interrogating techniques for them to agree to that.'
'It actually wasn't that hard, once they looked at how they were acting towards you, they soon changed their ways. Welcome to family, Alex,' Olivia genuinely stated learning forward and embracing Alex.
Sparks flew as the world started to spin, the wind blowing around them, casting a whirlwind of leaves to wrap around them. Reds, greens, yellow and browns cocooned them in their own world, wrapping their hair together to create a halo.
Alex turned her head into the crook of Olivia's neck and could smell the scent of her coconut shampoo. Her breath hitched in her throat as she closed her eyes and clung on a little tighter as she lost herself. She couldn't remember what time it was or what day it was. As she clung on that a little tighter, she soon forgot where she was and what her name was. The only thing Alex could think was that she was in Olivia Benson's arms and that she felt safe from the world.
She could feel the light touch of Olivia breast and her heart started to increase in speed, making her believe that it was about to jump out of her chest.
The leaves continue to blow and the sense of home overwhelmed Alex as she inhaled Olivia's hair one last time, getting as much of the smell as she could possibility fit in her lungs.
This was what Alex had hoped to experience within her lifetime and she couldn't get enough of the feeling. This was what home felt like, and now she never wanted to leave.
-x-
'Feeling at home is the best feeling I have ever felt. One day I hope to experience such a power of a fictional hug' – ICBA [Please review and tell me what you thing] :) x