Chapter One

I felt no different. I was still breathing in the same way I always had. I still felt the same emotions I always had. I could control what I wanted to say and I could still physically feel the air around me. I still felt alive. All that felt different, was the fact I was back to the time I remember best. I was no longer my 61 year old self. My hair was long, brown and curly again. My body didn't ache. And I could feel him again.

We had sat still for what felt like a long time. I had realised that there was no point in trying to count the minutes as it didn't matter here, here I didn't have to worry about time running out. I liked that. I felt the people around us get up and walk towards the back of the Church but I didn't turn around to look. I assumed that Claire and Charlie walked hand in hand cooing over Aaron, Sun and Jin would follow and Sawyer and Juliet would walk a few paces behind enjoying the fact that they had found each other again. Instead, I didn't take my eyes off him. I couldn't bring myself to look away from Jack. Not now. Not ever.

I had sat holding the hand that I had remembered. The same hand I had never forgotten. He looked so handsome in his suit; I had never forgotten how attractive this man was to me. I looked at him in detail. He was wearing the smile I loved but hadn't seen in our last few times together. I then realised that it was here that he was finally at peace with himself. He had found true happiness in that moment and I was there with him.

He then noticed that I was still staring deeply at him.

'Are you ready then?' he said with a little tongue and cheek. I just nodded back as I couldn't find the words. I had waited for thirty years for this moment. For a long time, I had no proof this was going to happen but I wanted to believe it. But as many times that I had imagined it, nothing beat it. Jack had left me breathless.

I got off of my seat in sync with Jack. I gripped onto his hand even tighter than I had been before. We took a few paces to find ourselves at the top of the isle where we stopped. The light was the brightest thing I'd ever seen but it didn't blind me although I felt like it should have.

I realised that I didn't really care for a moment about what was on the other side. I wanted to just have Jack and have his attention. I looked up at him and he tilted his head down to look at me. I gradually placed myself on my tip toes and leant in to kiss him. I felt his lips against mine, a touch I could not replace and hadn't stopped missing. He then pulled back, smiled the most warming smile and we walked slowly towards the light.

I started to get nervous. Little worries flickered through my mind, what if on the other side, I couldn't have Jack. All those times I felt like I didn't deserve him would be the reality in where we were going. Somehow, Jack knew what I was thinking and gave me a look with his eyes that instantly convinced me it was going to be ok. And we walked forward. Into the light.

I'm not sure what I was expecting. I knew that fluffy white clouds and rainbows weren't the reality but I couldn't see it being anything different. Heaven, if that is what they call it, surprised me.

We had stepped into a hot and sunny atmosphere. In front of us was a path leading to thousands of houses. Although there was no sign to say so, I immediately understood that each household connected to the next one, meaning everyone important in your before life was near you. Green hills and gardens took most of the space making it feel healthy and beautiful even more so. The skies were a complete shade of blue. I then realised I hadn't taken a breath and gasped. Jack's head twitched towards me. He gave me another smile and continued to just adore the scenery.

I didn't quite understand. I still needed air to breathe and I felt thirsty. This was the same as earth. I could see in the distance Sawyer leading Juliet into a house. How did they know what was going on? I was confused but I couldn't help but feel calm with the whole feel of this place. If you could imagine peace as a place, this would be it.

Jack started to walk forwards tugging me a little to make sure I stayed with him. If this had been the other side, we both would have been arguing now. I would have wanted to know what his plan was and

why he felt the need to hide it from me. He would then argue back that I had to trust him and issues would fly all over the place. But here, I just smiled because I had waited so long for him to lead me anywhere.

I looked at him with no emotion. Why was he alive? Why did he get to survive and be the one to tell me?

'Kate, I'm sorry…'

Desmond had come here to try and help me. I had been nothing but rude to him. I didn't like myself for doing that but he could walk away and still be happy, I felt like I couldn't.

It had been 13 weeks since I left the island. 13 weeks ago, I jumped on the Ajara plane. 13 weeks ago I said goodbye to Jack.

Since then, I had watched Claire reunite with her son; Aaron and Sawyer meet his daughter. I was alone. A part of me still held hope for Jack to come knocking at my door and we would finally put the island behind us. I knew that wasn't going to happen. My heart was heavy. It knew. He couldn't lie to me when we said our goodbyes, he knew he wouldn't survive. He had sacrificed himself for the island. For that I loved him and hated him. Why did it have to be him? Why couldn't someone have done it?

Desmond came here to tell me they had found Jack's body in the Bamboo forest. I had spent the last 15 minutes crying. I couldn't stop and every time I found the strength to, I realised, in fact I was weak.

'I'm sorry I had to come here. We can bring his body here and you can have a funeral if you want to' he stood up as he spoke. I realised he was very uncomfortable with this. He had sat there for all this time and watched me cry.

'No!' thousands of thoughts went through my head. He looked at me with caution. 'That island is what he fought for. The island destroyed everything but it gave us everything.'

Somehow, without even remembering, I told Desmond to bury him on the island. I knew I couldn't face it. I couldn't go back and not bring him back with me. I also couldn't let him go. Not yet.

Desmond looked me with a little hope. 'I believe that you don't ever really need to let him go, Kate.' I was sure that wasn't the only part of his story, but I didn't want to hear it. Jack was gone and I couldn't fill myself with dreams that he would be back.

'When I'm ready. I will go and say goodbye to Jack'

For the next thirty years, I thought about Jack every day. Some days I could do it with a smile whereas some days I couldn't stop crying. I was never ready to let go of him and I never went back to the island. But Desmond telling me I never really had to let him go, circled in my head. I wanted to believe he was right.We had found our house. It all felt surreal. Number 23. How ironic. The garden was admirable and too beautiful to touch. The house looked like every house I could see in my view. It was odd, I could just get my head around time being irrelevant here but space I could not. It made no sense. I could see thousands of houses so close together but here in our garden, standing beside our house it felt like we had all the room in the world. This didn't seem to bother Jack at all and I let it go.

In that moment I realised, we could still disagree about things. We could still argue. I liked the fact that we still had that freedom but then again I didn't want to argue with him. I enjoyed being happy with Jack too much.

Jack used his left hand to open the door and leave the way for me. Our hands didn't separate, they hadn't since the Church. I gave the house a quick once over. Everything was so neat and orderly. The rooms were light and neutral colours. It had a similar quality to the house we had lived in together back in the real world.

We let go of each other's hand to take a walk around the house. I couldn't help but feel the gap. The house was amazing but without holding Jack's hand, I felt numbness. What had happened to me? I was independent, I didn't need a man. Why had I become so dependent on Jack?

I gave that a thought. It was because all those years that I had been independent, I never respected myself. In fact I hated myself. Running was easy because I didn't have to deal with that part of my life. Jack, in the years that I had known him and loved him, had challenged me. He made me face the things I didn't want to. It was because of Jack, I found myself. That's why I needed him. I had found myself but I never got to really find him. Until now.

I walked around the house with just enough interest. I knew that I had forever to learn the details of this house, if I ever wished to. Right now, I wanted Jack.

I walked around the kitchen, sliding my hands across the worktops. The room was white with little hints of a summery yellow. The cupboards were full of cookery utensils; the majority I had no clue how to use. I chuckled to myself when I realised these items were apparently man made. I had found my way back to the living room.

Jack stood with his back to me looking out the window. He was admiring the view. He didn't realise I was there and I just watched him.

He slowly took off his jacket to reveal a white shirt. I could just about make out the lines of his muscles through the material. His hair was overgrown but I liked that, I found myself wondering whether it would go grey. I came to the conclusion that it most likely wouldn't. He'd be in this perfect form forever. I couldn't just stand there anymore. I planned to walk quietly towards him and surprise him, but somehow he knew to turn around to face me.

'Kate.' He said it with such joy. No one had ever said my name like that before. 'Kate.'

'Wha-at?' Why was he repeating my name? Wasn't I the one who had been waiting for him?

'This all makes the island look like a piece of cake.' He chuckled at his own joke which caused me to laugh. Shame, he thought I laughed at the joke.

'Jack,' his name came out easier than I thought it would. For too long, I had tried to avoid his name. Now, I could say it as many times as I wanted. 'Jack, I can't believe this is happening. Everything that happened happened and yet we get a happy ending.' I suddenly felt a tear roll down my cheek. The last time in the real world I had been this close to him, we were saying goodbye. This time we were doing the exact opposite.

'Jack, I still love you. I never stopped.' But I had to stop, tears were flowing rapidly now. He used his thumb to wipe them away. He held my face in both his hands and looked into my eyes. Every emotion possible was in those eyes. It was the most beautiful I had ever seen him.

'Kate. We're here now. Nothing is going to stop us from being here and nothing is going to stop the fact that I love you.' A tear dropped from his eye. We were both in a state. That seemed to work for us though.

He leant in and kissed me. This time it wasn't as sweet as our last. Instead, he was much more passionate with his lips. It reminded me of our first kiss. I found myself pulling him closer to me; I wanted to feel his arms around me. I didn't want our lips to part.

We slowly made our way up the stairs, trying our best not to part and not to fall. We finally found our way to the bedroom but I never even glimpsed at what it looked like.

I woke up. It was another strange feeling. I still became tired although I was dead. It was dark but I guessed it was morning as it had that feeling about it. Jack lied next to me with his back towards me. I wanted to watch him forever. I had missed him so much. Each minute I realised this more and more, even when I thought it wasn't possible.

I slithered my way to get closer to him, to feel his body. I lightly kissed his back and he slowly turned towards me.

'Sorry..' I muttered. I had woken him. Oops.

'No, no. Its ok, I was awake anyway. I was waiting for you.' That had several different meanings to me but before I could digest any of them, our lips were together again. He then kissed my forehead and gave me that smile with his eyes again. He knew how to floor me.

'So go on then,' he started.

'What?' I looked at him with puzzlement.

'Well about a day ago, for me, I last saw you. How long has it been for you?' He said it so slowly and affectionately. He really wanted to know. The light was starting to reflect on one side of his face. He looked even more handsome than he had done last night.

'It was thirty years,' it hurt to say it. If I had known that this was waiting for me, I would have never let myself suffer those many years without him.

He doesn't look shocked, instead he looks surprised that this hurts as much. He had wanted me to go on and live the rest of my life but it hurt him that he wasn't part of it. I knew that from his look. I knew this man too well.

'Jack…. Good things happened and bad things happened. I didn't spend my life miserable but I wasn't ever fully happy. I was always waiting for you. I could never let go.' I started to cry again. I wanted him to know. That I loved him and only him.

'It's ok, Kate. I did it for you. I wanted you to go and live the life you deserved. I just wish we could have had it easier' he looked almost apologetic. I then got it. He had to do what he had to do and he had to fight against leaving with me to save us. I admired him even more.

I kissed him as passionately as I could as I wrapped me arms around him. I had never felt happier than when his arms.

'Do you want to get some breakfast?' I asked.

'With you? Always.'