Eun Sang thinks he's lying when he says that he won't see her again. He's Cha Young Do, he's never told the truth a day in his life, so she smirks at that and waits for him to invade her personal space in that way she's accustomed to. He doesn't show.

It's the first week after his grand declaration, and she's still skeptical at his determination, it's a game she's sure, it's always a game with him. He doesn't come to school either.

She wants to ask Tan about him; where is he, what is he doing, what's he been up to? But she holds her tongue when she sees him watching her watching the entrance door, gum popping in her mouth, eyes darting to and fro and she's sure he's starting to put two and two together.

It's ridiculous, she shouldn't care. She should be happy. Young Do had done nothing but make her feel like a slave trying to sit at the masters' table. Always reminded her that she was lost; this was not her place to be. His hands had always been rough on her, she still had bruises from the last time he had dug his nails into her wrists. He's hurt her more times than she can count. She shouldn't care.

She really shouldn't.

Three weeks in and she makes a resolve to visit him at his hotel. It's a stupid plan, she knows. She'll offer herself like the sacrificial lamb that they all seem to think she is and he'll devour her whole, and Eun Sang isn't sure she'll hate it.

She lies to Tan, Tells him that she's going to study with Bo Na all night for the test tomorrow. He knows she's lying like he always does but he takes it like a good boy and tells her to call him when she gets home. She should feel guilty, but she doesn't.

She takes the Elevator, thinks about what she'll say; I came because I was worried because you didn't come to school we have a test tomorrow half the marks count for the semesters end exam, I need you here with me, I need you…I need you.

He opens the door after five knocks, she counted, with a solemn expression on his face and she's sure she's made a mistake. She should turn around and leave, go back to Tan who's safe and nice and doesn't leave bruises when he touches her.

"Well, isn't this surprising?" He asks, a smile playing on his lips and Eun Sang knows she's lost whatever game he's playing.

"We have a test tomorrow, you haven't studied." She pushes her way into the luxurious hotel, with its big ceiling and all white décor and his smell everywhere.

"You came here to tell me to study? I don't know if you've noticed, but I haven't been to school for three weeks."

Eun Sang watches him for missing signals, signs telling her what to do or says that will make whatever is going on better. But his face is closed, no emotions sneak her way unwarranted. He'll always be the one in charge.

"I'm dropping out. I figure it's about time I put everyone out of their misery and leave gracefully, you know, put my talent to torment others to good use somewhere where they'll be fully appreciated."

Eun-sang puts her bag on the white leather couch, she doesn't know why she's doing it, she saw him, and he's living and breathing. She can go home now. She shouldn't be making herself comfortable.

"Not everyone hates you."

"Yes, I'm sure I'll be terribly missed."

"You will be."

"By who"

"Me."

He puts his glass down on the table, walks over to her at a leisure pace and she knows how this will end. She should leave, Tan was waiting for her to call him and assure him that she was fine. She should go.

"We are hardly friends Eun Sang, not even acquaintances and you hate me. Why would you miss me?"

He sits on the table, close to her, so close she can feel his breath on her ear.

"I don't hate you." He chuckles at that.

"I don't believe you."

She almost cries out in frustration. "I'm telling the truth."

"Does Tan even know you're here or did you also say one of your little facts?" Eun Sang suddenly remembers why she hates him so much. He had the uncanny ability to frustrate everyone to self-distraction, with his smell and his touch…those fingers that were lightly caressing her hair.

"This isn't about Tan, it's about you leaving and me wanting you to stay." She slaps his hand away.

"Well, I'm all ears-convince me."

He cocks his head to her, his ear to her mouth and she does what she knows he wants, what he's always wanted and presses her lips to his cheeks. He moves his head closer, and her heart is hammering in her chest, leave, Tan; think of Tan- pleasant, safe Tan.

Her mouth finds him, and he's still sitting on the table, and she's still standing awkwardly to his side, so she closes that distant too, and it feels like she just signed her papers and handed it to the devil; you may do what you please with me. His mouth is warm and soft against hers, and she can taste the liquor on his tongue, he doesn't try to deepen the kiss, his hands are safely tucked on each side of him.

"Do you want me to stop?" Eun Sang asks, her voice foreign to her. What are you doing? Leave, now.

"I…if you continue I might not let you leave." His breath tickles her face when he speaks and all the warmth she feels pools between her thighs.

"I don't want to stop."

The words don't entirely leave her mouth when his lips find her. They're rough like she expects them to be, teeth clashing, tongues dancing, his hands kneading her arse but she still wants more.

"Stay, Please." She says it over and over again until she sounds like a broken record. But she feels like he'll never believe her like she'll wake up and he'll be gone. She needs him to stay.

His mouth lingers on her throat, hands working their way underneath her blouse, pinching her nipples. Her shirt finds itself on the white carpet, her skirt, her bra and her underwear.

She expects him to be quiet in bed, to master that broody intensity of his to a tee but he is surprisingly talkative. He asks her how she feels, where she wants it and how she likes it. She would hate it if his voice didn't make her womanhood quiver, clench, and tingle in pleasure. Was it even possible to be sexually attracted to a voice?

He has her sitting at the edge of the bed her feet on the ground and her legs separated by his knees. He's looming over her while she's completely naked and he's wearing too many clothes for the occasion. He kisses her until her head meets the soft bed and his kissing her lower, her throat, her breast, her stomach until his mouth reaches her center. It's warm and wet and frankly speaking she's been waiting for him to find his way there since she opened the door.

But she won't admit that. She wills herself not to moan too loudly when Young Do's lips suck her clit, and his teeth graze her pussy, but that plan gets repeatedly foiled when he looks at her while his tongue is thrusting into her, hitting all her right spots. She feels it coming, but she's still surprised when she comes. She's twitching and thrusting and- "Fuck-Yes."

She lies there still feeling the tingling sensation in her hair, in her veins, and in her toes and it feels damn good. Young Do lies down beside her and cuddles her naked body with his heat, stroking her back gently, kissing her shoulders and until she drifts off to sleep.

Eun Sang mentally kicks herself when she wakes up to an empty bed, and her uniform dry cleaned and waiting for her at the foot of the bed. She should've known he would be gone in the morning hell, she should've left right after.

She takes her shower, tries not to cry or feel any emotion other than indifference, but the surge of disappointment hits her when she notices that everything that should show a small indication that he was ever there or that anything happened has been cleaned and tucked neatly away. She dresses quietly, looking around if she's left anything then leaves for school.

She turns her phone on to be met by thirty missed calls from Tan wondering where she is and why Bo Na doesn't know where she is either. Bo Na too has left messages, and she can't bring herself to hear her judgmental prissy voice, so she opts for a text message. "Will explain when I get to school." Bo Na sends one right after telling her "Okay."

She won't call Tan, she can't, she hopes not to see him at school, but those plans are throated when she spots him waiting for her at the school entrance.

"You didn't call me back." He starts. Neither his voice nor his face gives anything away, he says it matter of factly like he's explaining why the sun still shines when it's cloudy.

"I know, I was busy."

"I called Bo Na, she said you guys never had a study date." He searches Eun Sang's face as they walk in, his eyes drinking in the panic in hers. "And your mom hadn't seen you all day."

"I was busy." Eun Sang won't say more than that. The answers are all at the tip of her tongue lined up like soldiers preparing for war, but she won't budge.

He lets it go even though he knows there's more to it than she wants him to know. Tan is nice and safe but still very temperamental and irrational… and childish when he wants to so he doesn't take her bag from her like he always does, nor does he take her hand in his displaying that she was his, he looks at her one last time and stalks off to class without her.

"Trouble in paradise?" Young Do's leaning on her locker when she gets there like he has every right to be. She wants to slap the smugness right off his face, but she stays her hand. No need to create any more scenes.

"Leave me alone." She shoves her school jacket in her locker along with her bag and slams it shut.

"I remember you saying or rather moaning that you wanted me to stay." His face is too close for comfort, his breath is tickling her, and the warmth of it sends shivers to all in the wrong places.

"You heard wrong." She starts walking towards her English class when he catches her by the elbow and shoves her in an empty broom closet.

She tries to fight him off, but his grip on her elbow tightens and she exhausts herself trying to get out of it. He lets her go, and she slaps him, hard on his cheek leaving a red scorching mark. He doesn't react to that, so she hits him on his hard chest until he has her prisoner in his arms.

She cries until both bells ring for them to go to class. None of them move.

His stroking her hair and kissing her head and muttering things in her ear that makes her go all gooey and soft on the inside- she can almost feel her sanity leaving her.

"I know you love him or whatever you want to call what you feel for him, but he's going to leave you. He'll hold your hand and make you feel safe with his grand gestures, but it will only be a matter of time before he leaves you high and dry."

His voice has taken an almost violent calmness that unnerves her and makes her weak in the knees.

"The difference between him and me is that I know how it feels like to be abandoned by someone you love" he pauses. "I will never do that to you."

Young Do lift her chin with his fingers to look in her eyes, she had been avoiding that, and tells her that he won't make her do anything anymore. It sounds exactly like the time he said he won't see her anymore.

"I want you, all or you- trust me- but not while Tan is in the picture."

She intends to snort at that, how mature of him, she'd thought the mere thought of having his dirty ways with her while Tan was at home waiting for her to call would excite him immensely but the seriousness of his voice tells her she's wrong.

She shakes her head. They'll be no choosing, it was a one-time thing, there's no need for choosing.

He lets her go, and she wonders listlessly until half her classes are over. She can't go in there because Tan will be there and Young Do will be there and… she can't deal with any of them.

By lunch, Tan somehow manages to find her. She's on the rooftop where he first kissed her, her back to the entrance looking over the city. She should choose, it's the mature thing to do. She loved Tan, it shouldn't be that hard a desition to make but, she had this growing need for Young Do that she was sure it would do her in sooner rather than later.

She turns around when she feels someone watching her, she finds Tan in his plain white shirt and Khaki pants, one hand in his pocket and his hair disheveled looking at her with an askew expression.

"You didn't have to skip class because of me." He doesn't make a move to get closer, and neither does she.

"It wasn't-I just needed to clear my head." Eun Sang feels wrong being on this side of the tracks. He was always the one screwing up, always the one always needing to validate that yes; he loved her, yes; he will not leave her, and she always forgave him. Now he looked like he knew exactly what had been keeping her busy.

"I'm sorry, I really am." She says it like she means it, a part of her does, the part that wants to choose him and ride this storm out with him, and the part that wants them to work out.

"For what? Not calling me or spending the night with Young Do?"

She stutters and takes a step back. She should start with begging then move on to groveling if that didn't work, throw in the tear works; he hated it when she cried. He'd forgive her, he loved her enough to do that- but she doesn't make a sound.

"You thought I didn't know? You and Bo Na hate each other. If it weren't for the mutual interest in Min Hyuk's wellbeing, you'd have already torn each other's throats to pieces." He smiles a genuine smile and then breaks out into hysterical laughter. "That was such a stupid excuse, I mean really."

"I'm sorry." It's the only thing she can say. Eun Sang wants to cross the distance and hug him and tell him that she's sorry over and over again, but her brain can't send the signal to her feet. She can't move.

"Did you sleep with him?"

She doesn't know how to answer that.

"Yes."

"Did you like it? Because I feel like if he forced himself on you, I could deal with that. I can have him killed, and they'd be nothing to forgive. Don't tell me-"

"Nothing happened that I didn't want to happen."

His hands are in his hair, and he's pacing and smiling and pacing. He keeps getting closer but not enough for her to touch. She knows this is how he deals with being hurt, he won't let her touch him again.

"You won't even let me touch anything under your shirt, and you sleep with him? He hates you, the only reason he's with you is to get to me." He's pacing, and it's starting to make her feel dizzy and sick. His smile is slowly fading, he's getting angry, she can see it, it's barely on the surface, but she can spot it.

"Do you love him? Is this what's it about?" He's stammering like he can't get everything he wants to say fast enough out of his mouth. Like he wants to read himself over every word that's clogging his windpipes, he looks at her like he looks at his brother, someone he wants to love him so much it's violent.

"I'm sorry." She utters when he falls silent waiting for the last thing to come out of her mouth that will do him in. "I really am."

"That's not an answer." He growls.

"We'll never work. My mother is a deaf maid at your family's beck and call, who doesn't even know who the father of her children is. Your father hates me, he can't even stand the sight of me, so I have to hide and live in a room that would rival any of your smallest cupboards." Eun sang's mouth feels dry, too dry that she can barely say the next words. "I'm a Fantasy Tan. You don't love me, you don't even know the first thing about me."

He's shaking his head. "No."

"I'm everything that your whole being goes against. I'm poor and-I'm not beautiful. I'll never be what you need." He wants to interrupt her, but she holds her hand for him to wait for her to finish.

"But you're what I want." He tells her, the tears are freely running from his face.

"I'm sorry." Because she is.

She doesn't hang around school longer than necessary. She leaves at the first sound of the bell and breaks into a run towards Young Do's hotel. By the time she gets there her hair is clinging to her face and her neck, her heart hammering in her chest she's sure she'll pass out any moment now.

She bangs his door, his answers after the third time this time.

His eyes take her in.

"I chose." She pushes her way into the luxurious hotel suite, dumping her bag on the floor and removing her coat. "I feel like I'm always going to hate you for making me do it. But I chose, and it's you." She pauses turning around to see his eyes dancing in amusement. "So you can't leave. Ever."

He doesn't say anything. He closes the distance between them in one stride and kisses her. His lips feel tender and soft on hers. She didn't cry when she broke up with Tan, but this makes her want to cry. The way he's looking at her like she hung the moon and his hands worshiping her body-

She shouldn't cry. But the more his lips find places to worry and fret over on her body the more she wants to cry.

She sobs quietly into her hands because she won't let him see her face. Young Do takes her hands and tries to look at her, she turns her head in the opposite direction. This goes on for a while before he sighs heavily and lets her cry into his chest all the while muttering that he knows and that he's sorry.