She could hear her heart banging in her chest, she could hear herself gasping for air, she couldn't hear any other noises around her.
She moved her head around, her motions were sharp.
Where was he? She needed to find him now. She needed to tell him how she felt. Her heart hurt at the thought of him slaving away, of him unable to attend her big day. He had avoided talking about it when she had probed him about whether he would be there.
Her heart had sank when Sookie told her just before she walked down the aisle, but she had taken a deep breath and relaxed her shoulders, chin held high with resolve. Until she had spotted him in the far distance, his skulking figure, big and broad, even from afar he had looked deflated. She had never seen him look deflated before. That's when she began to panic, her mind hadn't even caught up with her physical response. She was feeling stressed and anxious before she even knew why.
At the end of the altar, Max stood, his expression was one of pure and utter devotion. He looked like he felt he was the luckiest man in the world. She watched as his expression changed from peaceful contentment to one of concern.
He had been relieved when he'd watched her walk down the aisle, due to the culmination of months of rockiness and uncertainty, finally their love would be solidified by ceremony.
That relief slipped away like water in a pipe as her wide eyes shone with fear. She continued to walk towards him, seemingly being kept upright by the sturdy arm of her father who hadn't noticed the trepidation in the wisp of the women walking beside him.
When she reached him, she held his hands in hers and attempted to shake off her feelings with a twitchy smile which threatened not to emerge on her face at all. Her hands shook in his.
"Lorelai, are you….?" He whispered, not really wanting to hear her answer, bracing himself for the worst, he let his words taper off.
She did what he knew she would do deep down. She forced the smile on her face to be wide and bright. "I'm good…I'm good…" She whispered in return, her voice wavered and choked, tears sprung to her eyes as she tried to sell the idea that she was exactly where she wanted to be.
She looked towards the Minister, encouraging him to continue. She wanted to appear eager to her husband to be, like she couldn't wait to get started, like this was what she had been waiting for her whole life.
Max felt she wanted it to be over with. Paper over the cracks.
He looked at her again "Lorelai, are you sure everything's OK? We can take a minute if you need to?" He kept his voice quiet, not wanting to air their private business to the enquiring eyes of the waiting audience. An audience, he felt, that always knew she would run.
"It's fine, it's fine…I'm OK, really" Another watery smile adorned her face, whilst tears quietly but steadily slipped out of her eyes. She looked down to the ground to hide her grief. He tilted her head up with his hand, pinching her chin gently but firmly between thumb and finger.
"Don't." he said firmly, he meant to say more but looking steadily into her eyes, they told him everything he needed to know. He shook his head with a weary sadness. "Go" His voice shaky, but sure. He almost thought she might have rolled her eyes at him, called him crazy and told him he was imagining things.
She heard his instruction, hesitated momentarily at what she should do next. Ultimately her choice was already made. She hitched up the white shimmering skirt of her dress and looked at him, her eyes were sorrowful.
Then she turned and ran, she heard a collective gasp from the audience, who up until now had not heard enough to surmise what was occurring in front of them.
She ran with all her might. Away from the crowd, away from the beautiful ceremony set up with so much care by her mother. She avoided the disappointed gaze of her mother, the grave face of her father and the shocked stare from Rory. Rory.…Oh God…she would have to explain everything to Rory. She would understand. She hoped she would understand.
She pushed away these thoughts, distancing them from her mind as she distanced herself from the crowd, from the people who raised her, supported her, rallied for her. They couldn't matter, there was one person she needed to find right now. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have missed it? It was so clear to her now, so monumentally apparent.
Sookie said he was hanging lanterns all around the town, lanterns her mother had insisted on, lanterns that they hadn't had time to hang. Emily had been pissed, the decorators had panicked. They had another event, there were too many lanterns. Lorelai couldn't care less, Mom it's OK, the wedding will go on without the lanterns, she scoffed at this memory now. Maybe she had known then that the lanterns were the least of their worries.
So Luke had come to the rescue, without her knowing.
She had asked Sookie where he was, she couldn't see him in the rows of people.
"Hes hanging the lanterns" Sookie whispered out of the side of her mouth, seconds as the ceremony was supposed to start, anxious to get to her own seat. Not wishing to displease Emily.
Lorelai's head had whipped down to look at Sookie in disbelief, "He's what?"
Sookie looked at her with regretful eyes, she had always known what Lorelai was only just realising, or just recognising maybe.
That's when it had all come crashing down on Lorelai, her heart had suddenly exploded with emotion. Luke hadn't been able to face attending the wedding but he was still there for her, he was still saving the day for her even though he hated the very day he was saving.
She had to find him.
Her calves were starting to burn, she couldn't see him anywhere. Just when she was feeling a weight in her stomach, rising to her throat, a lump she couldn't swallow, before she could contemplate her next steps, she noticed movement from Patty's studio. The door was open, she knew there was extra food and drink being kept in there for the reception afterwards.
Her body began to move towards it, she slipped through the open doors, sliding them gently to close behind her, the musty air of the wooden lodge calmed her slightly. "Luke…" the words could barely be heard, she said them more to reassure herself, to reassert herself.
He was stood towards the stage, rummaging into the box of lanterns, he looked up with large eyes. The words deer and headlight passed briefly through her mind. He straightened up slowly as she walked closer to him. Her steps deliberate but cautious like she didn't want to scare him away with any sudden movements. Their eyes fixed on one another, but not saying a word.
He knew why she was here.
She kept moving towards him until she could feel the heat of his flannelled chest through the sheer fabric of her dress. She raised her arms to cup his face, her eyes saying more than words could. It's you, its always been you, I love you, I made a mistake, I'm sorry.
She brought her face to his, nuzzling his nose, her lips brushing his and their joint tears mingling together.
The tenderness of their movements continued for a few still moments until her tongue slipped out and briefly swept against. Then his lips were fully on hers and their movements changed to frantic. She pulled his shirt of his shoulders and he hesitated for only a half a second before helping her to remove her dress. They sank to the ground, their legs week from relief and lust.
Max, Rory, their family and friends, were pushed to the back of their minds. They would worry about that later.