The World of Lost Love
By
Harry's Zee
Isabelle's Story as a Conceiver
I was in the park in my favorite place, across the lake. I was waiting for him, the love of my life. Chris asked me to meet him here; he said he had news for me. I wondered if it was good or bad?
Chris and I have been dating for five years now. We love each other so much. True love is what we had, where everything the other does makes your heart turn in flips. We were hardly ever apart. I knew anything and everything about him—I knew that his favorite book was, Contact by Carl Sagan. I knew that he would never go see a "chick flick" no matter what. I knew that he loved life and loved the love in life, moreover I knew that he loved me and would die for me if he had to.
Finally after an hour of waiting I saw him running across the bridge to me. He knew I didn't like bridges, which is why he always crossed one to get to me. He had a smile on his face like he always did whenever we met; I loved it. He came up to me and gave me a hug and a kiss.
"Hello sweetie," he said hugging me as I inhaled his usual scent of pipe tobacco.
"Hi," I replied with a smile. We gazed into each other's eyes for a while before we said anything else. "So," I started "what news do you have for me?"
He cleared his throat and scratched his head. "Well I thought we'd go see a movie, and have some dinner before I told you that," h he said with a nervous smile.
So, we went out for a movie and had dinner. We laughed the night away as we talked about everything we've done with each other over the five years we've known each other. It was a great night.
We got back to my house at the end of the night. We sat on the swing on my porch watching the stars. I rested my head on his chest and could hear his heart beat in a steady rhythm. Finally the time came for him to share the news.
"Isabelle," he said calmly. "Isabelle, sweetie what I have to tell you, you might not like. Actually you won't like it at all." He said moving so that I had to sit up.
"All right... what is it?" I asked worried.
"I won't be able to see you for awhile." He said not looking at me. I gave him a look to go on. Chris turned towards me and took hold of my hands. "Sweetie, I'm going off to war." He said.
Everything else was a blur to me. All I remember is that Chris and I fought; there were a lot of tears. When I told him to just leave, I remember how every step he took afterwards broke my heart.
Days, weeks and months had past and all I would get were letters from him. Unfortunately after every letter the next would come later and later. I couldn't take it anymore. The distance between us was causing me so much pain, also the fact that I was always in fear of him never returning.
I confided into my closest friends, my sister, and my family. Apparently the only way to get rid of the heartache was to become an Unaware. Unawares felt neither love nor remembered past loves. I felt that this was the only thing I could do to stop the pain I had.
I had decided what I was going to do. I would rather have no feeling of love than pine for my dear to come back to me while I ruined the rest of my life in his wait. And so an Unaware is what I became.
Isabelle's Story as an Unaware
I was walking in the park in my own thoughts when I suddenly heard someone yell my name. "Isabelle! Hey Isabelle! Wait up!" a man's voice called out. I turned around and saw a man about my age running towards me. As he got closer, I realized that I didn't know who he was. I also felt some sort of twinge inside me, but I didn't know what the feeling was.
He came up to me and gave me a big hug. I stepped back, afraid. "Who are you?" I asked. "You don't remember me?" he asked me. "No, I don't. Don't touch me. I don't know you," I said to him. "Stop joking around Isabelle. Aren't you happy to see me?" he said. "I don't even know you. How can I be happy to see you?" I answered.
"How can you not remember me?" he said. "I'm Chris. We went out for five years until I went to fight in the war. Don't you remember? We were in love, and I still love you," he went on.
"Listen, I have no idea who you are. You must have mistaken me for someone else," I told him and I quickly walked away before he could have another chance to try to make up more stories. But as I walked away, I couldn't help but notice the twinge I felt inside me while talking to him. Oh well, it's probably nothing, I thought to myself.
…a few days later…
I was walking in the park again; when I saw the same man again. He came up to me as I quickly tried walking away. He grabbed my hand and again I felt that twinge inside me. "Isabelle, how could you?" he asked me. "How could I what?" I answered. "I ran into your sister yesterday. I asked her why you kept saying you didn't know who I was and why you didn't seem to remember me. She told me how you had your memory erased of our relationship because it was causing you so much pain while I was away at war. Why would you do something like that? Did you really think I was never coming back?" he asked me. "What are you talking about? Stop making up stories. You don't even know my sister. And I never had my memory erased. And we were never in a relationship," I told him.
"Isabelle, yes we were. You just don't remember anything because you had your memory erased. I don't understand how you could have done this. I told you I would never stop loving you and I would never forget you. I told you if I came back from the war alive, we'd still be together and that it wouldn't tear us apart. We were going to get married remember. I know you went through a lot of pain, and trust me I did too, but I still don't understand how you could have your memory erased of me" he said to me.
"Listen, I don't want to hear your babbling. I don't know what you're talking about. Just leave me alone. Don't try talking to me again," I said and walked away before he could try and stop me again. I quickly walked home angry at that twinge I kept feeling. But I forgot about it by the time I got home.
I passed Chris many times after those two incidents, and I still felt that twinge every time I saw him. Thankfully, he didn't try coming up to me again. I still don't know who he is. He's probably some psychopath, although he had a hurt look on his face whenever he saw me. I forgot about that twinge I always felt when I saw him. It doesn't bother me so I just keep living my life the same way as I always have.
Chris' Story
I really never thought she would do it; Isabelle—the girl of my dreams, the love of my life. I've heard about people erasing their memory before I left for war, but back then it hardly got any attention, nor did I think it ever would. But, I guess I was wrong.
In love doesn't even begin to describe what Isabelle and I had, it was more than love. I knew anything and everything about her—I knew she didn't like walking over bridges because she always thought she was going to fall through, I knew she was allergic to apples, I knew her favorite book was A Bend in the Road by Nicholas Sparks, I knew that her favorite place to be was the park across the lake, I knew she preferred action movies over anything else, I knew she liked to do everything herself, I knew she was in love with being in love, I knew she loved me, but now I just don't know anything.
In the world we live in, we're not separated by the color of our skin or our religion; we're separated by who we are. Mainly, there are the Conceivers- those who feel and experience love and there are the Non-Conceivers- those, who well, don't feel anything. The other kind of people are known as the Unawares- the ex-Conceivers who couldn't bare the gift of emotion, so they erased it and are left with no memory of how their life was before they became an Unaware. Isabelle became an Unaware.
I really never thought she would do it. It was before I left for war, back when our love was untouched. She hated the fact that I was leaving, she hated war. I assured her that everything was going to be okay, and I promised her I'd come back to her. I promised.
When I came home I wanted to show her that I kept my promise; I wanted to prove to her that I loved her more than anyone. The first place I visited when I came home was the park. Everything looked so different—the trees looked older, the grass looked like no one had taken care of it. As fate would have it, I saw Isabelle across the lake. My heart dropped, my eyes became teary. It was as if I've never seen her before, like I was meeting her to go on our first date. I ran over the bridge and approached her nervously. From the moment I touched her, I knew things weren't the same. I can't even begin to describe how I felt when she didn't recognize me. I thought she was joking at first but she thought I had mistaken her for someone else. I watched her walk away until I couldn't see her anymore; with each step my heart broke even more.
I finally realized what she did—she erased her memory and became an Unaware. I tried approaching her again and again for some hope that she'd remember me again. But, she didn't. It's hard to believe that the love we once had is gone forever. I made myself believe that everything that has happened to us happened for a reason. Maybe I was sent into this different world to watch after Isabelle, and to act as her guardian angel.
There are some days where I have the urge to erase my memory as well, so that maybe we can both start over. But, what if we never get to be together? What if I never experience that kind of love again? I could never risk it. Yes, I don't belong to Isabelle anymore, but she will always belong to me. Sometimes, I think that the memories we shared will be sufficient enough for me to live on in this world. And sometimes, I think that it's better to live in pain then to not experience love at all.