Disclaimer: I don't own the character, blah blah blah. This fic was writen for entertainment purposes only. I take no credit.
Summary: Ginny has gotten use to being alone, always left out of the Trio's plans. But things slowly begin to change when Harry starts asking for her company, and get complicated when she begins secretly meeting the very hated Malfoy for violent venting sessions.
Warnings: Takes place Ginny's fifth year in an AU where Sirius didn't die, Dumbledores Army never exsisted and Luna Lovegood hasn't made her appearance, yet.
Signal to Noise
Her eyes snapped open as heat crept up her neck, but she saw nothing. The darkness stretched on before her in a never ending void. She was crumpled on the floor, naked and sweating. Her vivid red hair was drenched, the sweltering heat seemed almost unbearable and she cried out in agony. She pressed her face to the floor, craving a cool relief, but instead she was met with more heat. Where was this fire coming from? Pulling herself into a fetal position she sobbed dryly. The sounds of her sobs were interrupted by the echoing of footsteps...his footsteps. She lifted her head, searching for the familiar eyes she longed for, but saw nothing. The footsteps where growing louder, he was getting closer, and though she still couldn't see him, she could feel him. The fire began to die, and a cold chill gripped her legs and climbed up her back. The familiar chill she had longed for.
Ginny's eyes shot open as a loud snap invaded her slumber. She pulled back the scarlet curtain that hung from her four post bed, her eyes wandered to the open window. A cold wind blew into her room, leading the gold trimmed curtains that hung beside it into a wild and savage dance, and spraying the floor and nearby furniture with rain. Had she forgotten to lock the window?
I must have, she reasoned at once, otherwise the window wouldn't have blown open.
She quickly got to her feet and jumped slightly as she was met with freezing stone. Ignoring the sharp drops that whipped her face, she threw the window shut and secured the lock.
Drying her face on the sleeve of her nightgown, she turned to straighten up papers that had been upset and realized she was alone. The three other fifth years who shared her room were gone, probably at breakfast, enjoying a nice hot cup of tea. So nice of them to wake me. She thought bitterly as she slid out of her nightgown and into her uniform. Glancing at the clock beside her bed she groaned and began her sprint to the Dining Hall.
The Dining Hall, she noticed, was full of the buzz of morning chatter. She quickly made her way to the Gryffindor table and over to her brother, who was leaning over the food, his head bent as he listened to whatever Hermione was telling him. Harry, who was sitting next to Hermione, was in a similar position. Ginny clenched her jaw tightly as they all straightened up at her presence and Harry cleared his throat loudly. She was use to their cryptic behavior, and was getting better at masking her disappointment when they left her out. She sat herself down next to Ron, who squeezed her shoulder in a brotherly manner and passed her a hot roll.
"Good morning, Gin." He greeted warmly, as if she had not just intruded upon an important 'dream-team' meeting.
If he wanted to pretend, Ginny wasn't about to pry. She smiled at him and took the roll.
"Good morning, everyone"
Hermione greeted her with a bright smile, her brown hair plated in an attractive braid that hung down her back.
"How are you, this morning?" She asked politely, joining in the delusion of normalcy.
"Alright, I suppose. I was a bit late waking up this morning. The wind blew my window right open, got rain all over the place." Ginny admitted, for she was sure this was the only time she was going to tell this story.
Although she was often excluded from the 'extra-curricular activities' that her brother and his two best friends got into, the three of them were really the only people she actually talked to.
Sure, she knew people from her classes, and was greeted by familiar faces in the hall, but they were all really acquaintances. Ginny always felt as though she might be glitched in some way, because as much as she wanted to, she could never seem to make those acquaintances stick as friends. It wasn't that they didn't like her, most would consider her a very likeable person, there was just something about her that let people get close, without being too close.
She did, however, have a suspicion that it had something to do with the horrible incident of her first year at Hogwarts. She had been possessed by Tom Riddle and was forced to do horrible things. No one blamed her, of course, and four years later it became a distant memory to everyone. No one looked at her funny in the halls anymore, or avoided her, or whispered behind her back, but the unnerving residue of the powerful dark magic that had held her captive still shimmered around her, like an invisible veil that kept people out.
Ginny could only assume that it was her brothers love for her that kept him close, and the trio's familiarity with the Dark Arts that made them comfortable with being around her.
Hermonie covered her mouth in sympathetic horror, "Oh what a horrible way to start the morning"
Ginny rested her cheek on left hand and spun the roll in her other.
"Tell me about it." Without her permission, her eyes wandered, as they usually did, to Harry. He was pushing the food around on his plate, reading Hermione's copy of The Daily Profit with interest, as he usually did at breakfast. Ever on the lookout for any signs of movement from Voldemort and his followers.
Suddenly, his eyes caught hers and he smiled. She felt her blood rush to her cheeks and quickly looked away, the roll slipping from her fingers. She hated to be caught staring. Even though she had told everyone that she was over her crush on The-Boy-Who-Lived, she knew she could never convince herself of it.
"Quidditch practice today." Harry reminded her, a smile still on his lips. Ginny couldn't help but smile back. She had been on the Gryffindor Quidditch team since last year, when Harry had pleaded with her to join. They had been short one Chaser, and as Harry told her, they needed her on the team. Of course, she could never refuse anything Harry asked of her, but she was pleased to admit she liked to play. It was completely different from playing with her brothers back at the Burrow. Ron was absolutely no good, and the Twins always went easy on her. At school, she felt like she was being tested, she had to play with her full potential, and give it everything she had. She was proud of her skill, and so was everyone else. She quickly became a welcomed member to the almost infallible team.
"I know, I'm looking forward to it. I only hope the weather will cooperate." She grimaced at the gray clouds that the magical ceiling above them portrayed.
"Oh I'm sure it will. And even if it doesn't, a little rain can only make it more interesting." He chuckled, and Ginny was about to reply when she noticed that his face had turned sour as his eyes seemed to burn holes into the newspaper in front of him. He slid the paper silently to Hermione, who eyed it carefully.
Ginny sighed quietly. There was no point talking to them when they got that look on their face. She caught the sympathetic glance Ron gave her and she forced a small smile.
"I've better be getting to class." She said loudly, making a show of gathering her things.
"Have a good day." Ron wished, and Hermione waved.
"See you at practice." Harry said absently, his eyes never leaving the paper.
"See you." She said and hurried out the hall.
The rest of Ginny's morning was grudgingly uneventful. She sat through her classes, trying hard to pay attention, but the excitement of the upcoming Quidditch practice made her feel like she was ready to burst. The fact that she passed Harry in the halls on the way to most of her classes didn't help her excitement.
Much to Ginny's anguish, the weather had not cooperated, and the rain splattered her face as she made her way to the Quidditch field. By the time she was ready to mount her broom, her long scarlet hair was drenched and clung tightly to her face, and her Quidditch robes where heavy with water.
Squinting above the field she could make out black figures zooming overhead, but the rain made it hard to see who was already up there. She secured her weatherproof goggles over her eyes and kicked off of the ground, meeting the figures who she now recognized as Harry and Demelza Robins, a fellow Chaser who had joined a year before Ginny had. They flew over to her, both as soaked as she was, smiling. Ginny noticed that the three of them were the only ones here, which wasn't a good sign. They didn't bother talking in the air, the wind made it nearly impossible to hear anything.
Preparing for her warm ups, Ginny was interrupted by Harry, who flew in front of her and pointed to the ground. Demelza was already landing next to Katie Bell, their team's Captain, who looked cross.
They joined Demelza and Katie quickly, Ginny knew her words before she even spoke them. Quidditch practice was cancelled today due to the weather. "You guys are daft! Absolutely off your rocker!" Katie had cried angrily at them. "To think we could practice in this storm! That's right, storm!" But Ginny could see the glint of pride burning behind her anger. Nothing softened Katie's heart more than dedicated players. Ginny and Harry exchanged secret grins as they followed their Captain back to the Gryffindor common room.
Ginny was severely disappointed by the cancellation of Quidditch practice, as it was the only thing she had planned for the evening. So instead, she curled into one of the large squishy armchairs by the roaring fire, one of her school books limp in her lap. She tried to study, but simply found her eyes gliding over the words without reading them, until the ink was nothing but a blur on the page. However, she was determined to look busy, because just feet away, the 'dream team' was bundled into one of their signature huddles, talking quietly among themselves. Despite the fact that she was often by herself, the idea of people feeling sorry for her burned her chest. She didn't mind being alone, and wanted everyone around her to know it, without seeming standoffish. It was a delicate balance that she had almost mastered over the years. She was available to anyone who truly wanted to talk, but would not stand for pity company. So caught up in appearing busy, she was honestly startled when a throat cleared itself over her shoulder. Snapping her head up, she was shocked to see the deep green eyes of Harry peeking at her from behind his long, shaggy black bangs. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you..."He began, and looked as if he might leave her to her 'studying.
"No no!" She protested, a little too quickly. She internally scolded herself, Calm down, be cool. Do not embarrass yourself! She gently closed her book and turned in the chair to face him. "No need to worry, er...I had just finished. You know...can't study too much." Smooth, Ginny, real smooth.
Harry chucked, "Hermione might disagree with you there." He plopped himself down the chair beside her. It was then, Ginny noticed, that he was by himself. She stole a quick glance behind him and was shocked to find Ron and Hermione gone.
"Shame about practice, huh?" He asked, glancing between her and the fire beside her. "Yeah." She replied lamely, but she couldn't help but smile at the awkwardness, and was pleased to see he was also grinning.
"Where's my brother and Hermione gone off to?" She asked quickly, eager to end the silence, unaware of how suggestive her question sounded until Harry's grin grew wider.
"Research, which for them is code for snogging." He replied and Ginny blushed.
"They really couldn't be any more creative than 'research'?" Ginny asked, happy to have any topic to keep Harry where he sat.
"You'd think so, but I think that they honestly believe they are fooling everyone. I haven't the heart to burst their bubble." Ginny couldn't think of anything to add, and was afraid this would be the end of their time together. She hardly got to talk to Harry one on one. Sure her dreams were full of close encounters with Harry Potter, some of them closer than others, but he was always so busy, between class, Quidditch, and saving the world that she was sure she could count the times she'd actually been alone with him on one hand, and all of those times were short lived. But to her relief, Harry didn't seem like he was ready to leave, and she noticed, that he was staring at her.
"So...Ginny..." His lips puckered slightly and Ginny was sure he was struggling with something.
"Yes, Harry?" She urged, trying hard to hide her excited curiosity.
"Would you like to take a walk with me?" He asked. "Not outside, of course, the weather and all" He quickly amended, "but maybe around the halls. Unless, of course, you're comfortable just sitting here. I don't want to uproot you if you're unwinding." He began to ramble as Ginny was trapped in a silent shock. Harry and never asked for her company before and it had her at a complete loss, but a little voice in the back of her head snapped her out of her daze.
"I'd like to take a walk with you." She said, hoping she sounded cool and collected, because her insides where leaping with excitement and anticipation.
He smiled and stood up, following her out of the common room and through the portrait hole.
At first they talked about everyday life. Classes and Quidditch followed by activities they did in their spare time. They laughed again about Ron and Hermione's not-so-secret relationship, and that's when the conversation turned awkward.
"What about you?" He asked innocently. Ginny was taken aback. This was not a question she expect him to ask, and was too embarrassed to answer, so she played dumb.
"What about me?" Her mind quickly picking together an answer to the question she knew was about to leave his lips, that wouldn't make her look like a complete loser.
Harry delivered, like Ginny expected him to. "Well, have you been seeing anyone?" "Have you seen me with anyone?" Ginny asked, she mentally kicked herself. That wasn't at all what she had planned to say. She knew she shouldn't be answering his questions with more questions, but she wasn't exactly fully prepared to be having this conversation with the boy she's crushed on since she was ten years old.
"Well...no...I-" but Ginny interrupted him, eager to redeem herself.
"I'm sorry, that came out wrong. I haven't been seeing anyone lately. I mean, Seamus and I had a short fling, which was nice while it lasted. He was a good boyfriend, if you could go so far as to call us that. I'm not too big on relationships...I mean, I'm sure I could be...if I found the right person...its just I don't talk to people much, you know? Not that I don't like to talk to people, or that they don't like to talk to me..." Oh lord, why am I still talking? She thought to herself in a panic. Did the universe have no pity or sense of mercy? Please universe! Strike me dead!
Harry listened quietly, nodding in the right places. Although she was embarrassed, she felt an odd sense of release to talk about what she'd been holding in.
"I know what you mean." He said quietly, looking down at this shoes as they walked. "I mean, if it wasn't for your brother and Hermione, I would probably wouldn't be alive. Their friendship is something I never could have asked for." Ginny nodded in agreement, surprised as she felt a tickle of envy. She didn't know that kind of friendship, and could only imagine what strength those building blocks could give someone.
Suddenly they both stopped, it was the first time either of them had actually looked to see where they were walking, and were shocked to find themselves around the corner from the kitchens. Harry raked his hands through his perpetually messy hair and threw her an embarrassed grin.
"I guess we should start heading back." He offered, and began to turn around but stopped.
"You know Ginny, I honestly had a nice time talking to you. It was oddly rejuvenating to have a normal conversation with someone. It made me feel almost normal." He gave a small smile and Ginny found herself nodding in agreement. "I feel like my life is constantly under threat. It's like I can't get a break! Everywhere I turn I'm met with some sort of life altering choice that could either get me killed or consequently someone I care about. And even after I overcome that obstacle, I'm met with another one, each getting progressively deadlier. I haven't had a normal year of life since before I got my letter to Hogwarts, not that I'd take back these years for anything in the world..." It was his turn to ramble. Ginny's ears buzzed, as she was sure this was the most she had ever heard him say at one time in her presence.
"...it's just nice to feel like a normal person for once." She hadn't realized that he was stepping closer to her as he spoke. She could feel the blush creep into her cheeks and was helpless to stop it.
"You're a nice conversation partner, too. And I think I can relate, in some small way. It's always nice to feel normal." Ginny assured him softly, her eyes darting around at everything, desperate not to look him in the eyes.
He was closer now than he'd ever been, so close, that Ginny was almost sure she could see a faint red tint paint his cheeks. Her heart hammered against her chest and her palms were so sweaty she was secretly grateful she wasn't holding anything that would give her away.
"Harry?" An intruding voice broke the silence, and Ginny could see Hermione over Harry's shoulder, Ron by her side. Harry quickly put space between them again as he spun around to see his friends.
"There you are! We've been looking all over for you! What on earth are you doing down here so late?" Hermione questioned as she quickly approached them.
"Oh, well, I just got tired of waiting for you two to finish your research"(He said the word with a teasingly implication that made Hermione blush and Ron's ears visibly red) "that I invited Ginny down to the kitchens to see if we could get something to snack on"
Hermione glanced at Ginny as if she just now realized Harry hadn't been alone.
"Oh, well...I'm sorry to interrupt...but I've think I've got something that you might want to hear..."Hermione's tone indicated that this news wasn't something for Ginny to hear.
"Right." Harry sighed understandingly. He turned to Ginny, and the smile that had been on his lips since they first started talking was now replaced with a frown.
"Its ok, I understand. You guys go on. I'm going to go on to the kitchens, I could still use that snack." Ginny said, mustering what she hoped to be an understanding look.
Hermione gave her an apologetic smile and Ron was trying not to look at her.
Harry closed the gap between them again and gently squeezed her shoulder, "Thank you, Ginny...for letting me feel normal for a while." He whispered to her, genuine appreciation warmed his sparkling eyes.
"Maybe we can do it again sometime." She whispered back hopefully. He nodded with a small smile and the trio quickly retreated down the hallway, back to the Common room.
Aggravation and anger swept through Ginny, her eyes stinging with tears as she watched them depart. She felt like she was on an undetermined schedule, like her life revolved around their secret meetings without the actual benefit of being included in said meetings. Her heart was still racing from the surge of adrenaline that had pumped through her system and she decided she might as well actually go to the kitchen and waste some time. She knew she'd only feel worse if she got back to the common room to find the group huddled up again.
So she turned around and found the giant portrait she was looking for, tickled the pear, and stood back as the portrait swung open. Her throat was still tight with anger, a hard knot that hurt as she tried to breath it away to no avail. Many house elves swarmed around her ankles, carrying pots and pans and food. Many didn't acknowledge her presence, as they hurried to finish the task they were given, but a few stopped to offer their services, and one even cleared off a stool by a counter and waved at it invitingly. She forced a friendly smile and took the seat she was offered, quietly ordering a hot tea to relax her throat, and hopefully quell her aggravation.
The house elves were quick in meeting her request and in almost an instant she held a cup of hot tea gingerly in her hands, nursing it carefully. She could feel her muscles relax and the knot in her throat slowly unwind. She took a long, deep sigh and tried to purge herself of the negative feelings she'd built up. It was no good for her to feel sorry for herself, or angry or jealous or left out. She just had to accept things for as they were. Her mind wandered to her walk with Harry. That had certainly been a break from how things usually were. A pleasant break, that she hoped she would get again. Maybe next time she'd be better prepared. She began to imagine all of the witty and insightful things she could say, they would be said in just the right tone, at just the right time, and Harry would marvel at how grown up she actually was. He would realize that she was a valuable member to his group, and baffle at how they managed to get as far as they had without her.
"Well well well..." A smooth, silky draw interrupted her pleasant daydream and her eyes darted in the direction of the invader. Her eyes grew wide as they met a pair of narrowed silver ones, piercing her with a disgusted gaze. She felt her stomach wrench into a painful knot.
"Malfoy!" She spat, her voice heavy with hate. She could feel a slight prick of panic as she realized she was alone in the kitchen with Draco Malfoy. She had grown up on the dangerous rumors of his family, and was sure that a private encounter with him wouldn't lead to anything good. She quickly began to devise a plan to get past him and out to the safety of the halls.
"A Weasly! Of course I would meet one of you in the kitchen. Let me guess, you're stealing food to send back to your family"
Ginny was struggling to keep her rage at bay. She knew she had a dangerous temper and Malfoy seemed to know just the words to shatter the calm she had just achieved. She knew he was baiting her, he was a Malfoy, being nasty was their trademark. She clenched her jaw tightly, using every ounce of willpower she could muster to keep from retorting.
"What's wrong, Weasly? Nothing to say? Finally accepted the fact that your family is trash?" Her nostrils flared painfully but she kept her mouth shut tight.
"Or are we playing the ignoring game? Figures, you of all people should be good at playing. The youngest of the litter of trash! Always alone, aren't you? At least your pathetic brother has managed to find company. Even if it is with Potter and the Mudblood." Ginny stared intently at the cup in front of her, determined not to give him the satisfaction of seeing the anger in her eyes. But her body was screaming, she was livid with rage. Her jaw ached and her breathing was labored but she was determined to attempt the appearance of indifference.
"Speaking of the wonder trio, I can see that they've decided to ditch their tag-along. Important business to attend to, saving kittens from trees and hugging puppies." Ginny spared herself a glance in his direction and saw his lips were drawn up into a loathsome snarl and that was enough to send her over the edge.
She shot up from her stool with such force that tipped over and landed hard on the floor.
"How pathetic, Malfoy! To think that you've been stalking me! I could be sick right here!" Her rage was spilling into her words, she could feel its flames lick her face and she was sure she was a vivid red.
"Don't flatter yourself. Like I would be so interested in such filth! Any idiot with eyes couldn't miss your pathetic infatuation with Potter." Each word he spoke had a frozen bite, but his composure seemed intact. He stood before her, clad in all black with his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes narrowed in her direction...and that snarl.
Without thinking she launched herself at him full force, a growl of rage escaping her throat. His eyes widened, as he was clearly not expecting such an attack. She was on top of him, clawing and punching at him, but his shock quickly dissipated and he grabbed her wrists and easily threw her off of him. He was just as quick as she had been, and had her pinned underneath him. Their eyes met, both mirroring disgust, though his held a flicker of amusement that only made Ginny angrier. She was painfully aware of their closeness. She could feel his sweet, cool breath on her lips, but she didn't dare turn her face and take her eyes off of him. "So there's that temper I'd heard about. I was beginning to think you were as dull as you look." Ginny struggled against his grasp, writhing around desperately.
"Get off of me, Malfoy!" She hissed as she tried to free her wrists but he held them tighter, she was sure her circulation was being cut off.
"You launched yourself at me, Weasly. Don't start things you don't intend to finish." As quickly as he had grabbed her, he was off of her and was on his feet, staring down at her. His blonde hair, that was usually perfectly slicked back had become disheveled and hung in his face, partly covering his leering eyes.
She picked herself up and stared back with equal intensity. She suddenly realized the way out was now at her back. She could make a run for it, she was quite fast. Even if he caught her, she was sure she'd make it to a hallway where people would hear her. Still unsure of what move to make, she braced herself for any move he was planning on. But he didn't move. He was fixed in place, staring at her, the heavy rise and fall of his chest the only movement he made.
Part of her wanted to relax, but she wouldn't let him lure her into false security. She remained alert and aware of every move he made. Finally, and without warning, his lips pulled out of the ugly snarl and into his signature smirk and he took a step towards her. Ginny found herself wishing he would snarl again, because she was sure she'd never seen that smirk directed at her before and she was very sure she didn't like the unexplainable tickling it gave her stomach. Triumph twinkled in his eyes as she jumped, but instead of touching her he simply walked past her.
"Thanks for the dance." He whispered into her ear, and he disappeared before she could turn around.
Thats it for the first chapter. Chapter 2 is in progress. Please, review with some feed back!