1There's actually a funny little story behind this. I was having a conversation with my friend and brownies came up. Then it turned into this. I laughed. I had to write this. Whether this is funny or not depends on your personal sense of humor. Here you go.
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I'd have Itachi and Deidara do stuff like this all the time! And I'd have a video camera.
Ahhh...brownies...
It was just another day in Akatsuki. Same, old, boring in Deidara's mind. He watched as everyone in the lounge area did their old thing, trying to amuse themselves in one way or another. Hidan was off sacrificing himself to Jashin again, Kakuzu was busy counting his money, Leader was nowhere in sight as usual, Konan was laying across the couch using herself to make origami, Zetsu was sunbathing, and Sasori was working on his puppets. The blond sighed and thought about Itachi, his somewhat secret lover. Only Kisame and Sasori knew about the whole thing, but they promised not to tell anyone else. Itachi was out on a mission with Kisame. Deidara couldn't wait for him to get back.
The blond wanted something to do besides messing with his clay. He wanted to do something for Itachi; something sweet. Sweet! That was it! Itachi loved sweets! Itachi would come back today to find a beautiful dessert waiting for him that Deidara made, by himself, from scratch.
He ventured into the kitchen and searched through various cookbooks. Everything looked so difficult! He's not a professional chef! He can't cook any of this shit! Then, something caught his eye as he flipped through the pages of his fifth cookbook. Brownies! He rummaged through the cabinets and grabbed everything the recipe called for. Unfortunately, he was missing half the ingredients and the milk was sour. "What kind of shithole do we live in, un?" he mumbled to himself.
He made a list of everything he needed and left for the Amegakure market. He walked into the grocery store and picked up the necessary items: eggs, milk, sugar, butter, and cocoa along with a baking pan, mixing bowl, and a wire whisk. He paid for the items with his own money being Kakuzu wouldn't let him borrow any.
Once he got back to the Akatsuki, he set out all the items and mixed them together as directed. He started stirring it and looked out the window to find it was already about three in the afternoon. He continued stirring, hoping to get it done as quickly, yet thoroughly, as possible.
He stopped to rest for a second. Stirring the thick, gooey mixture so hard for so long was putting a strain on his arm. He then felt something wrap around his waist to find two arms, pulling him close. A sweet nuzzle to the crook of his neck made him realize who the arms belonged to, "Hello, 'Tachi-kun, un."
"Hello, Dei-chan. I missed you."
"I missed you too, un," the blond said, turning to lightly kiss his lover in greeting.
"So...is that brownie mix?"
"Yep, un! From scratch! Though, I wanted them to be done before you got back, un."
"Well, let's see," the raven then scooped some of the mix with his finger and tasted it, ignoring Deidara's protests. He smacked his lips together and looked at the blond, "its delicious. Very chocolatey."
"So you... like it, un?"
"I love it. Here, try some," Itachi said, scooping some more out of the bowl and placing it in Deidara's mouth.
The blond licked off all the mix from the raven's finger, enjoying the sweet, chocolatey
taste. Not wanting to miss any, he licked the finger a bit more and started to suck on it. "Oh, Dei-chan...," Itachi quietly groaned, giving a quick thrust with his hips into the blond. Deidara knew all too well the Uchiha was aroused by his actions. In response, he lifted his hips a bit to let the raven grind into him, making him hard as well.
Wanting more, Itachi lifted the blond up to rest on the counter top and unbuttoned his coat, lifting up his shirt and kissing a trail down his chest. Deidara arched to the touch, moaning softly and started to undo Itachi's cloak as well. Once getting it and the raven's shirt off, Deidara leaned back, resting his weight on his hand. He wrapped one arm around the raven's neck and as Itachi kissed and sucked on his, he ran his other hand over the other's well-defined chest.
"Oh," Deidara spoke apologetically.
"What is it?"
"I, I got chocolate on you, un."
"Well, you have a mouth, don't you?"
Taking the hint, the blond leaned in and licked the sweet chocolate from the Uchiha's chest. Gaining a new idea, Itachi scooped some more of the chocolatey mix from the bowl and smeared it down the blond's chest, making a trail down to his erection. Itachi began to lick the sugary goodness from the blond's already sweet skin.
Enticed by Deidara's lusty moans, when Itachi got down to his target area, he took the blond into his mouth and sucked hard, moving up and down Deidara's length. "Nng, 'Tachi-k-kun...ah, I...I'm...," before the blond could finish, Itachi pulled away from Deidara and caught the blond's cum in his hand. He turned the other around and used Deidara's seed to slicken the blond's entrance. After smearing the rest of it over the head of his member, Itachi slid into Deidara, burying himself to the hilt. Deidara winced in pain but moaned and gasped in pleasure as the raven started to move.
Itachi thrust into him only a few more times before Deidara felt himself reach his limit again. To keep the blond from screaming, the raven scooped up a bit more of the mix and shoved the chocolate covered digits into Deidara's mouth. Feeling the sucking on his fingers again only made Itachi want to come faster as he pounded into the blond before him. Deidara slightly screamed, muffled by Itachi's hand, spraying across the counter top. The blond's walls constricted around the Uchiha causing him to finally gop over the edge and release himself deep within the blond. They both leaned against the counter, panting, marveling at the erotic event they just participated in.
Itachi pulled out of Deidara and they both dressed quickly. They scanned over the scene and realized exactly what a mess they made. They hurried and cleaned up and Deidara looked over to the bowl.
"No! The brownies, un! They're ruined!"
"Don't worry about that now, Dei-chan. We have to get clean before someone notices. Just mix it in so no one sees it and we'll throw it away when we're done."
Deidara did as the raven instructed and they both hurried off to Itachi's bathroom to shower. When they entered the shower and turned the water on, they looked at each other and Deidara couldn't help but laugh, Itachi chuckling a bit.
"How did we not get caught, un?"
"I honestly can't answer that...heh, you got some chocolate still on you Dei-chan. Here..."
Itachi bent down and licked the sweet substance from the corner of the blond's mouth. Deidara moaned lightly and turned his head to kiss Itachi, letting their tongues mingle.
"More?" Itachi asked as they broke, both panting from lack of air.
"Mm, yes please, un."
When they finished and actually decided to get cleaned, they got dressed and headed down to the kitchen to finish their cleaning and get rid of their chocolatey concoction. On their way, they saw no sign of any of the other members. As they stepped through the doorway into the kitchen, they both froze at the sight before them. "Hey, Itachi-san! Deidara-san! Look! Tobi found some brownie mix and made brownies for everyone! Want one?" Hidan asked. All of the Akatsuki excluding Leader, who wasn't there, Konan, who was on a diet, and Sasori, who never ate, were all munching down on the brownies.
"Uh, n-no thanks, un."
"Yeah... I, I already had some..."
"Fine! Suit yourselves," Hidan chirped, taking another bite of one, "there's something about them though. They're a lot better than normal fucking brownies."
The two in the doorway paled and turned on their heels and walked hurriedly off to hide the blushes on both their faces. Once well out of earshot, they stopped and looked at each other with wide eyes. Unable to hold it in any longer, they both burst out laughing.
"Oh, Kamis, Dei-chan," Itachi said, wiping a tear from his eye, "what have we done?"
"I, ha ha, I think we just made 'love brownies,' un!"
Yeah. I'm sorry. I had to do this. It was just too irresistible! Sorry if Itachi seemed a little OOC. I mean, what would you, or Jesus, have done in that situation? Surrusly. Anyway, this was also meant as a little apology story for not updating in a while. Reviews are loved!