Juvia could feel her heartbreak as her back arched, knowing that the name on her Gray-samas tongue was not hers. But she could pretend until they were done and he left. He came to her for comfort to get his frustrations out. She had long ago stopped challenging her love rivals, knowing she wasn't even a competitor. How she adored him though. Every time he came to her she would bend to his will like the love sick puppy she was. She knew he wasn't thinking of her as he chased his release using her. This was the closest thing she would get to him loving her though.
She felt him grip her thighs, moaning into her neck a he came into the rubber.
A few minutes later she watched him get up from her side, pull on his clothes and leave her. He had a mission to go on with team Natsu, which was why he had been stressed. Juvia always knew Gray-sama loved Lucy. She didn't hate Lucy anymore, knowing Lucy was head over heels for her pink haired boyfriend. But she was jealous of her. She longed to hold the love of Gray-sama like her friend Lucy did, even if she was unaware of it. Juvia knew that Natsu knew of it, which was why Natsu had confessed his feelings to Lucy a few months ago. Her friend had been ecstatic and Juvia had finally been able to let everything go. Since then the two had become closer.
Juvia picked herself up, showering to try and get rid of the weight on her lungs. Sometimes she wondered what would happen if she was in there for too long, eventually becoming water and going down the drain. Where would she end up? Would she die?
Would Gray miss her if she was gone? Would he realize he loved her? Juvia didn't know what he would feel. In a sick way she wished something awful would happen to her, just to see his reaction. She wouldn't act on those thoughts though, no matter how desperate she was, however upset and hurt.
Once upon a time her Gray-sama had taken the rain from the rain woman and shown her the sun. But as the years passed a rain cloud had settled back over her. She missed the sun more than ever now. She had gotten use to a happy smile, to have light fill her days at Fairy Tail. She had forgotten how awful she use to feel seeing as she had felt it all the time she had grown numb to it. Now that she had a long break from it she felt it she was being crushed by its strength, wondering if it had always felt like this.
Him using her had to end. She knew she couldn't take much more and despite her current feelings Fairy Tail had given her the courage to live for others. Maybe not Gray-sama, but she knew others would miss her. It would be selfish of her.
Yet Juvia didn't want to deny him, Juvia wanted to be with him but she knew that he didn't appreciate Juvia and if she was going to continue on this needed to stop.
Thoughts like this plagued her mind all day, at the guild and on the train to go on a mission.
How could she move past him though? Would she ever look at Gray-sama and not want to be with him? She sighed, getting off the train. It was raining hard, she knew it wasn't the weather though. It was the emotions roaring inside of her. She felt so many different things inside her, things she had been holding back for the years she had been with Fairy Tail.
She sighed in her own despair, walking along the path. Suddenly the drops of rain stopped, the silence made her look up. Her breath caught on cold air, seeing snow float around her. She looked around in wonder, curious as to what had just happened.
"Juvia?" A surprised voice asked. She turned, her eyes widening in surprise when she saw white hair.
"Lyon?" She asked in disbelief. He slowly gave her a grin, the snow falling around him. She tilted her head slightly, thoughts rolling in her mind.
"It's nice to see you, what are you doing in Hargeon?" He asked, walking closer to her so they were a comfortable distance away. She bit her lip.
"Juvia isn't supposed to hang out with Lyon, her Gray-sama doesn't like it…" She said quietly and he frowned slightly.
"Why not?" He asked, hurt in his voice. Juvia went to answer him but slowly closed her mouth. Why couldn't she? It wasn't like Gray-sama was jealous or Gray-sama cared about what she did. If she couldn't have a say in his life how come he could rule hers? Her eyes widened at her own thoughts, the very idea being a mutiny to how she had been living since she first set eyes on Gray.
"Juvia, don't cry." His soft voice whispered and only then did she realize a tear had slipped from her eye. She tensed when he hugged her, his arms strong and oddly comforting to her. She took a moment, hugging him back with one arm that wasn't holding the umbrella.
"Juvia is sorry, Juvia is happy to see Lyon." She gave him a tiny smile and he returned it full force.
"I'm happy to see you too!" He said cheerfully and she couldn't help but mentally giggle at his excitement.
"What is Lyon doing in Hargeon?" She asked and a look of seeming realization hit him as if he had completely forgotten.
"Oh! I got a job here, some rich guy wants a ice sculptures that can move." He said and Juvia gave him a soft smile.
"Oh that sounds fun, that's perfect for Lyon!" She said, happy for him. He nodded, raising his brow at her.
"What about you?" He asked and she gasped.
"Oh! Juvia has a job too! Someone is having a party and asked for a water mage." He laughed.
"That's awesome, where's your job?" He asked and she pulled out the parchment of the job request. He took it, glancing it over.
"Hey! I'm going to the same place!" He said, a big smile on his face. Juvia blushed, not knowing exactly why. She let out a breath, it billowing between them.
"O-oh...would Lyon like to walk with Juvia?" She asked, tilting her head. He let out a soft chuckle, his own breath clouding between them.
"I'd love too…" He said and he shuffled closer. Juvia watched him, understanding what he wanted she handed him the umbrella. He took it and held it above them both, offering his arm to her with a warm smile.
Juvia's heart stuttered, wondering briefly when the last time someone had given her that look was. It was the Grand Magic Games, it came from Lyon himself in fact. She bit her lip, not wanting to betray her Gray-sama. Then again...was it really betraying him when she wasn't even his? No. No. She is his...he just wasn't hers.
"Juvia are you alright?" He asked and she gave him an uncertain look. He seemed to understand because he nodded.
"Is it because Gray wouldn't like it? It's okay…I was just trying to be a gentleman. You don't have to take my arm." He said. She swallowed hard and slowly nodded, feeling guilty for the hint of disappointment in his voice.
"Juvia thanks Lyon for being understanding." Juvia said softly. Lyon nodded and they began to walk, staying quiet for a few minutes. It wasn't awkward, he gave her space to think which she was grateful for.
"Was it Lyon who turned Juvia's rain into snow?" She asked and he looked at her in surprise.
"That was your rain? I thought you only made it rain when you were upset or…" He trailed off, his eyes soft as she looked away, her jaw set. He cleared his throat.
"Well yeah, it was me. I cast a spell because I didn't want to risk...catching a cold." He said and she stopped walking, slowly turning her head to look at him with a suspicious gaze as he struggled to keep from laughing at his own stupid joke.
"Did Lyon just…" She trailed off and he couldn't help it. He burst into laughter, doubling over and exposing them both to the soft fall of snow that was starting to let up by a lot. Juvia watched him for a moment before joining him in his laughter. Not even from the joke but watching him. It was contagious. She held her stomach, giggles turning into hard laughter. She had no idea why she was even laughing but if she was sure of anything in this confusing time of her life, she knew that if felt good. It felt light and happy to laugh like this. She hadn't felt like this in about six months. It didn't seem like long but when you felt like you were being crushed more and more every day it seemed a lot longer than that.
She wiped her eyes where tears had formed from her laughing, her cheeks red from the laughter and cold. She let out a last giggle and looked at Lyon who had just composed himself as well and he caught his breath. Snow flakes were scattered in her hair and on her eyelashes. He caught his breath, slowly reaching forward and pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.
"You look beautiful in the snow, like an angel." He said softly, more to himself than her. She blushed deep red, turning her face slightly. He jumped as if he hadn't realized he had said that out loud, a light blush covering his cheeks as well.
"Uh...uhm.." He trailed off awkwardly but Juvia put her hand on his arm.
"It's okay." She said and he gave her a small smile.
"Well, shall we go?" He asked and she nodded, timidly looping her arm under his. He gave her a full watt smile, both of them walking down the road, cracking jokes and enjoying each other's company. Juvia was glad she ran into Lyon, he was making her feel better and making her laugh.