Author : sKiTzO
Rating : PG-13
Disclaimer : I don't own them, don't sue me. Mulder and Scully belong to 1013, and the song belongs to the wonderfully talented Bree Sharp. (Yes, the David Duchovny chick... You should get her CD, man. If you like that song you'll love the rest of "Cheap and Evil Girl"... It's so awesome.)
Summary : We all know Mulder's gonna leave... The question is, why?
My head is heavy and bent like a crane
The wrecking ball blues are coming again
And Latham says, "Babe, you know life is a ride.
But living's no fun if you're dead inside."
What am I doing with my life? Nothing, that's what. Absolutely nothing. I'm chasing conspiracies, trying to make the world a better place, but what difference am I making? I'm hurting those around me, most of all you, my world, my reason for living.
I pierce myself to wake up my veins
I'd pierce my heart if I thought things would change
I'm just like the skin that's been stung and restung
The campfire songs that are sung and resung
For a girl of my age, why am I so numb?
Each day is the same as the one before : struggle to right all wrongs.... It gets so.... tiring. Monotonous... Boring.... And I still don't get anywhere. I walk backwards, and that's the most frustrating part. I try to stop a conspiracy, and you get abducted. I try to stop another, and you get cancer. Let's not forget how we thought you were barren. I keep hurting you.... I love you so much and all I do is hurt you.
I've been chasing a lie I was sold
Running down thieves and fool's gold
And these Christmas dreams are just painted coal
Maybe I can't stop it... Maybe I can't stop any of it. I used to have this vision of me stopping conspiracy after conspiracy, but it's all just one big lie. A dream I have as I sleep at night.
I've been swallowed up by greed, I've been spat upon by lust
If they ain't playin' with your money, they're playin' with your trust
And I'm trying to hard to stop sitting still
To gather the juice that's been spent or been spilled
To find a spark in myself that hasn't been killed
Cause if Death doesn't get ya, Life surely will
They can mess with a person's mind. They really can. These conspirators have really done a job on me upstairs. It's so hard to tell who's on your side and who isn't.
I try and get everything together, find out who's on whose side, but then someone will stab me in the back. Trust no one.
Trust no one......
I've been chasing a lie I was sold
Running down thieves and fool's gold
And these Christmas dreams are just painted coal
We've been chasing a lie we were sold
We're running down thieves and fool's gold
And these Christmas dreams are just painted, just painted
Just painted, just painted
Coal
Except you, Scully. The only one I have is you. Sure, there's the guys, but.... Scully is Scully.
I will never get over how much I hurt you.... And yet you're the only one who sticks by me. You're loyal to me, and from that kiss I know you love me.
God, I love you so much. And that's why I have to do this. Why I have to leave. I don't want to hurt you anymore... I can't hurt you anymore. I'll wind up being the death of you if I stay....
The Consortium, the Cancerman, and Alex Krycek are all dead, so I should be relieved, right? Wrong. Someone new will come along. Maybe even someone more powerful, and then..... I don't even want to think about it.
So take care of William. Tell him about me, will you? Tell him I loved him so much even though I only knew him briefly. He was a miracle. He made you happy, and your happiness is my own.
I don't know how I'll live without you... How I'll get by.... But I have to... I have to....
Talk about an early frost.
I'm possibly thinking a sequel... But I'm not sure... I have two ideas going on in my head, so I might turn it into a trilogy of sorts.... Sound good? Or should I stop here?