Time is something Adam always hates to think about.
Time simply consumes, making everyone rush to the next step in life. Birthdays, holidays, graduation, marriage, anniversaries, and kids. It seems to be the necessity to fulfill and complete everything before it's too late.
And he understands, but he doesn't like it. He is never one to keep a plan because time is vast. No need to rush.
Maybe it was the way his mother had raised him and continues to. Pushing for schedules, for plans, for organization. That's why he has the work ethic he has today. Straight A student, involved in sports, organizations. But it also pushes him, and Drew, to live in another aspect — spontaneous.
Adventurous. Free-willed. Casual. Unplanned.
Both him and his brother couldn't be controlled by any force. Maybe that has to do with their dad.
Obviously, their parents had more impact than he'd admit to them out loud.
But one thing that kept him leveled and from not completely reaching for the clouds is his girlfriend.
Becky Baker. The girl with the plans. With the faith he's never had. With the belief in humanity that he has always doubted. The drive to do everything that is good and pure. The motivation to change the world.
Adam awed at her power and does he admire her.
She is always in a rush, in need of distractions and purpose, and he likes it. He assumes all Americans are that way with the stories told of the hectic lives in New York or Los Angeles. Always in need for something to do with no moment to breathe.
Maybe that's why she likes to go home so much. It is her home, the sunshine state with salty water and overly tanned bodies on the beach. It's always nice seeing the glow and glee on her face when they FaceTime. It's so authentic and organic, she laughs with joy and familiarity.
"I can't wait until the day you come to Florida."
Sure, he is happy she gets to go home and see her family during the summer but the month without her has been absolute hell. He was lonely and with the pain of his surgery (plus the constant overbearance of his mother,) he hasn't been able to do anything. It's driven him into insanity.
The only thing helping now is waiting for his girlfriend to come back to him.
They had spoken the night before, not being able to speak in the morning because her flight had departed early. A single text was on his phone.
Becky (08:08 AM)
On the plane! I'll head to your house as soon as I can :) Love you.
It's an hour later after lunch that he awakes from his nap, feeling something wet against the top of his head. Then his cheek and his eye. He also feels an added weight on his lap and wonders why his laptop feels so heavy. "Adam." A faint whisper of his name and his eyes open to meet a mischief blue at his level.
"Becky?" Slowly, he blinks away his tired gaze and she giggles at the confusion on his face. "I'm sorry, I totally fell asleep."
"It's alright, you're up now." Becky leans in to kiss him in such a way that his body and mind immediately wake up. Sitting up straighter on his couch, he manages to press closer to her and he can feel the smile on her lips as they reconnect for another kiss.
The way her arms wrap around his neck make him feel warmer. There's an immediate desire to haul her closer and he does so by grabbing her hips, a gasp passes through her lips to his. A month without her touch was too much to bear.
He wants to know more about her trip. How her volunteering went on the beach and with her church group. How it felt to feel the wind in her hair on a boat or the exhaustion she felt after a long day of building a church.
But all of that was pushed aside the moment her hands grazed the front of his shirt.
"No one else is home."
Their transition from couch to bed is easy. It's not their first time and not their second. Their first was clumsy and awkward, not knowing what to do and not to do. Matter the fact that they had just broken up and gotten back together.
But their second time was near perfect. The sounds she made, the feel of her fingers in his hair, her taste on his lips... It never got old. He's lost count of how many times he's had her naked in his bed - they had sex once in her bed and once in a hotel, that he won't forget.
It's a routine.
Adam locks the door and they remove each other's clothes, dumping them on his desk. Normally, he'd lift her off the ground because the squeal and giggle she makes when he throws her on the bed overjoys him. "Don't, you still can't overwork yourself."
His undershirt is still on and he knows it's because she's cautious. She wants him to make the first move when it comes to revealing his chest to her. It'll be the first time he'll be fully nude in front of her and it's exciting but terrifying. There are scars and his nipples still lack some feeling but screw that because he's content the weight is off his chest. Literally.
"Lie down," Becky orders with a wistful smirk and he listens. He exhales out a breath once settled against his pillow, his head held up by two. His blue eyes follow her and he grins at the perk of her nipples and sag of her bare breasts. Her panties are still on, as are his boxers, but as time has gone by she's felt comfortable not wearing a bra around him.
She wasn't wearing one today, for comfort on the plane or for him he didn't know but he doesn't care. "Do you want to do the honors?" Becky's straddling him again and her fingers linger on the hem of his shirt. She's reluctant, "I'm comfortable."
"If you are, then so am I." Her smile is bright and wide, matching the warm tone of her voice, as she gives him a gentle kiss on his lips.
Adam sits up enough so Becky can push up his shirt and eventually pull it off him; he was told to not lift his arms above his head for some time. But it's been a month so who cares? Immediately, Adam searches her eyes as they focus on his chest.
It's the first time again. It causes a small panic but she almost smiles to herself, and that calms him. Her fingers skim along his scar beneath his right nipple and she holds nothing in her expression but joy. "This is amazing... I'm so happy for you." He's subconsciously running his finger along her own breast, following the pattern of her hands on him.
There's nothing he can think of to say at the moment besides- "I love you." He can share his happiness with her. His joy, pride, love...even his pain, sorrow, and anger.
Right now with her fingers on his chest, tracing the outlines of the scars and feeling her lips gently kiss at the middle of his chest. There's nothing more he wants than to be fully with her, feel what she's feeling, share their moment and connection, feel the love and desire that burns for her that she feels for him. "I love you, too," Becky whispers to him against his lips.
At that moment, Adam feels her bare chest against his own for the first time. Becky's always so warm and her nipples perk at the breeze from his open window. She gracefully leans up and Adam gazes at the curve of her neck. The depth of her collarbones, the moles that grace her chest, the showing of her ribs and the perfect dip of her stomach.
Eventually, he settles on their cores that almost press together but the fabric blocks such contact. His thrusts up without grace and Becky stares at him with an open mouth. "I want to be inside you..." Adam sits up, a tight grip on the fabric of her underwear as if begging to be ripped. His other hand is busy pressing her body against his and he leans over to whisper in her ear, "Let me fuck you."
Becky bites into her apple, the coolness of it hitting her just right under the blaze of the summer sun.
The humidity was overwhelming and the heat overbearing; she can't help but chuckle at herself, the weather in Canada is pretty funny. At first, she complained about how cold it always seemed to be but when summer rolled around she missed the snow, the grey skies, and the feeling of youth and enjoyment that winter brought.
Summer was always spent in Florida and this is the first time she's in Canada for the remaining months. Florida was always hectic with tourism, brown skin, eating, and late nights doing who knows what. Canada, on the other hand, was calm and quiet. It's been two weeks since she's been back and she could admit she is bored.
Adam was a very, very good distraction. He has crazy ideas on what to do and how to entertain that keeps her on her feet. On the opposite spectrum, she works as a lifeguard in the community pool. A pool that is never full. A pool that lacks the smell of ocean breeze and warm sand. All she has is screaming of toddlers, chlorine filling her nose, and the hot concrete stinging her feet.
Resting under the umbrella, signing in her neighbors, is even worse. Sitting there and waiting and waiting for something to happen, not that she wanted someone to drown but where was the joy in it? Loudly, Becky sighs as she stretches her arms above her head. Glancing at her watch, she was relieved she only has ten minutes before her shift ends. At least she'll have some money saved up for her dates with her man.
At the thought of him, Becky heard the familiar hum of an old car. Adam was given a used car for his birthday, his father proud that he was going to college and knowing he couldn't depend on a mini-van anymore. "Adam?" Becky questioned out loud when his figure was out his car, a grin on his face.
Usually, she'd take the tram home or her dad would pick her up. She doesn't have a license as she isn't a citizen of Canada — she must wait until her move to Vermont to get one.
Her eyes follow him as he moves to sit on the front of his hood. Admiring him from afar is one of her favorite pass times. Becky always found him cute, the way he smiles and laughs and grins. The way he dressed used to be more reserve, baggy shirts with jeans - rarely shorts. Probably a flannel or some sort of hoodie.
Now, over a month after his chest reconstruction surgery, she's seen a change in him. Adam has always been confident, a confidence that exhumed when he started t-shots, but now it is apparent in his clothes. He wore shorts that stopped above the knee and a tank top that cut off right at his waist. Just an ounce of stretching would reveal his toned stomach that she's become very familiar with.
Come to think of it, Adam's rather toned compared to when they first met. Dallas had helped him until he moved away the beginning of the summer to be closer to his child. It was Drew now that sought advice from Adam on how to workout.
"What brings you here?" Becky perked a brow and Adam leaned off his car. There was mischief in his eyes and she knew he had an idea for something.
That something being a trip to a beach an hour away. They arrive mid-day, her part-time ending after lunch is beneficial to trips like these.
Adam asks about work as they settle in a spot in the sand.
"Anything memorable happen at work?"
"This one hairy guy turned into a lobster because he had no sunscreen." Adam chuckles before taking a sip of his soda, "I'm glad I tan and don't burn."
She's settled on a towel under the umbrella. The same as her job but the setting is so much different. The man she loves next to her and the sounds of waves crashing.
"Does anybody who's born in Florida really burn? Survival of the fittest babe."
"You're saying those who burnt in Florida have been wiped out and replaced by bulky, muscle tanned individuals? If so, I definitely agree." Becky smirks with a glance over at her beau. "I guess all those who were pale moved to Canada."
Adam raises his brows and scoffs. The amount of sunscreen on his arms and face prove Becky's point, "We can't tan but we can play hockey, I'd say we're the real winners." He sits up with a smile and instinctively reaches over to pull her close. The blonde closes her eyes when his lips gently glide against her neck. "Are you enjoying the beach?"
"Mhmm," Becky hums in relaxation, her legs now stretched over his lap. A single hand rests on his chest, her other around his shoulders in order to keep his head against her neck. Public intimacy had grown on her. During the school year, their physical affection was low and under the radar, only kissing once in a while. As time passed, specifically after their break up, Becky felt a pull to touch him and caress him whenever she could. Adam was totally up for it because he loved the contact they shared.
After having sex, there wasn't a single hesitancy on PDA. Even now on a public beach, Becky doesn't mind having his lips on her neck or his hands gripping her thigh and butt. She found that whenever he led their intimacy or had control, it drove it deeper into his touch. "I'll miss you." Adam sighs against her ear and she feels her body tense at the mention of their separation due to college.
"Adam, don't." Becky forces with a gentle tug to his hair, she makes him look up at her and try in as little words as possible that they need to live in the now. Forget about their future plans or the new beginning that is upon them. Their relationship is now and she wants to bask in the love that emits from him. "You'll always have me."
"I know..." Adam drifts off, his eyes going to the shore of the waves. Slowly, the voices around them fill her ears once more with the combination of birds and children screaming of joy. "Even when you're gone, I'll have these memories of you all over the place. Specifically the beach... it reminds me of you."
Becky's lips slowly form into the familiar smile he adores and her fingers reach up to rest on the edge of his lips. "You're my home, don't forget that." She whispers while leaning in to kiss the tip of his nose. He's lost in the moment that he barely captures her words, "Race you to the water!"
She's off in a quick sprint, her years as a lifeguard helping her grasp the right way to run in sand. He's slow to get her, the water is to her knees when he's finally in the ocean with her.
Canada beaches are calmer than the ones in Florida and she admires it. Moments like these were Adam can kiss her in the water without worry a wave will come and suffocate them into the abyss of blue. She laughs when he dives deep into the salty murky water and follows with ease, swimming deeper in.
When he comes up, she's already there watching as his eyes mimic the shade of the water. His hair is in his eyes, his chest puffing out with uneasy breath as his thin strapped sleeveless shirt clings onto him. He pulls her in closer to him and brushes away the hair on her own face before kissing her lips in a way that reminds her of the water. Erratic, unpredictable, yet manages to be sweet, salty, comforting and cool.
How she's going to live without him, she doesn't know.
They lie on the couch, both have their backs on the opposite ends. She wiggles her toes, having taken her shoes off from a long day at volunteering at the hospital.
Her laptop is on her lap, scrolling through some early emails from her professors. "My biology professor already sent me an email. We're still a month away from classes!" She shakes her head in disbelief and Adam chuckles.
"That's why I haven't bothered even setting up my school email."
"Adam! Seriously?"
"Yeah, like you just said there's a month left." He gives her a charming smile and she scoffs. She can't exactly scold him and doesn't feel the need to. Adam's smart and whatever he does, she knows is the right move for him. As for her, she can't help but need to read the emails to make sure everything is a-okay.
They're like that for a while, Adam scrolling through his phone with his fingers caressing her thigh mindlessly. Becky sets the computer on the table beside them and sits up, a leg hanging off the couch as she moves closer to him.
He looks up from his phone when she tugs on his belt buckle, immediately catching his attention. There's a curiosity in his eyes and she completely shuts it down, "What are you going to do when you're at school?"
Adam huffs, digging himself deeper into the couch. "I think you know what I'm going to do." He stretches his arm out over her lap to reach behind her, digging his hand into the back pocket of her shorts.
"Academics wise, babe," Becky pushes his bangs aside, Adam taking the more leisure look with his hair this summer and it has already grown out to a length Becky loves. "You haven't talked to me about that..."
"I don't like to think about it, Becks." She feels his hand somehow push for her to be closer but she can't just yet. They need to talk about this. She needs to know he'll be alright, distracted, motivated, enjoying himself.
"It'll help me to know you'll be okay... I have all sorts of things to do but I know you'll be at a nearby college-"
"Stop," Adam speaks over her in a dull tone, as if there's no energy to his irritation that's on his face, "I don't want to talk about it. That's that." She's forced to stand up in order for him to get off the couch. She's afraid he's going to leave and she hates when they're on a different page, knowing very well they can understand where the others coming from.
But as she catches Adam slipping on his shoes and can see the tension in his shoulders, Becky knows they aren't on the same page for the first time in a while. "Adam."
"Becky." He looks up as she continues to stand in front of him and there's a silence as they talk through their eyes. Becky raises a brow, questioning whether he's going to leave, and Adam immediately looks away to the side. Her parents aren't home and it's one of those instances where he's at her place.
Becky waits for him to do anything and eventually he stands up to be face to face. He leans over to place a kiss on top of the mole that rests above her upper lip. Her lips open immediately, knowing what comes next is a kiss that'll drive her lack of confidence, worry, and fright down the drain. Adam does exactly that, kissing her bottom lip then her top. She places her hands on his hips, tugging at the fabric and feels the muscle that rests right beneath.
Her mind wanders back to the kiss as Adam runs his tongue along her bottom lip, even though her mouth is already open, inviting him to mix their tongues together. Her hand pushes the back of his neck and the wonder from how they went from almost saying goodbye to making out in the middle of her living room in less than five minutes leaves her head when their tongues collide.
Suddenly, Becky pulls away by pushing at his chest. "No, you can't just kiss me to get me to forget what we were talking about." Becky watches him wipe at his mouth as his eyes graze her body. It's obvious with these past months that Adam's been very in touch with his sexual side, as she has too. She doesn't mind but there is a time and a place.
"I'm sorry." Becky nibbles at her lip, keeping her from smiling at the one hint of his accent. It's cute and she can't let that distract her, "I don't need you to worry about me... I'll be enrolled in as much things as possible. And probably parties."
"Drinking?" Their foreheads rest against one another. Her hand on his chest and she feels the rise and fall of his breathing after their make out.
"Maybe." It scares her a bit to think of him drinking, the one time he has completely losing himself by kissing another girl then kissing her. "But not a lot and no drugs. I don't want to other do it."
Adam settles back down on the couch, kicking off his shoes in the process. Becky sits right next to him with her elbow on his shoulder, her hand running through her own hair as she thinks of what his college life will be like, "And the radio?"
"Definitely. I'll dedicate every song to Becky Baker." He jokes with a toothy grin and she lets a soft giggle out her lips, "Don't worry about me, baby, I'll be okay."
Becky nods once with a closed smile as her free hand reaches up to stroke her cheek. This isn't the direction she wanted their future to go in, but it's the way it will be. Two different schools in two different countries. At least their time zones will be the same.
"We'll be okay."
His fingers wrap around her wrist, a gentle touch for a gentle second. "I know."
Adam's fingers are busy, one unbuttoning her jeans while the other skims over the fabric that barricades her folds and his fingers. From feeling his slim fingers mix with her wetness, from feeling his finger run over her clit. From slipping inside the hilt of her entrance. She wants him on her, inside her, but he can't as he sits next to her.
Suddenly his lips are off her, messily slipping apart with an ugly sound that turns her on. "We can go to your house-"
"We can't, my parent's are home." Adam rushes his words out as he looks down to where his single finger penetrates her.
Her eyes look to the sides and in front of her, paranoid someone will see them or watch them. It's late, it's dark, but the lights still illuminate the parking lot. "It's too public," Becky states as her hand rests on his to make his movement stop.
The energy that ran through her stops and her breathing becomes steady, though Adam's hand is on her and his middle finger inside her. He stares at her and she meets his gaze, reaching over with her free hand to touch his cheek before leaning her head back in defeat. "It's okay," Adam tries to reassure her. "I can get us a hotel room."
"No, I'm sorry for being such a prude." Becky shakes her head and can feel his hand retract from her shorts. "You want to try this and I don't have it in me to do it."
"Becks, you are no prude." She believes his words with the gentle tone and soft grin on his lips. "It's okay to not do-"
"I leave tomorrow."
Adam exhales from his nose and nibbles his lip. He gets to look away as he glances at his hand and wipes at his swim trunks. "I hate time." He grumbles as he leans back into the car seat. She reaches over to run her fingers through his trimmed hair. "This summer went by quickly."
"This won't have to end."
Her words get him to look at her and her heart races just a little faster. She shouldn't be saying this. She shouldn't be giving in so easily.
But she loves him.
"This won't be the last time we're together. I can't live without you."
Adam turns to face her and stretches an arm out to touch her hip, "You mean that? We already decided."
"We decided to enjoy the next four years and that means having you in them." She reciprocates the smile and feels elated at the ease in his wide smile. "We can get a room but I want to stay here a little longer."
He nods and turns to face the ocean with her.
Her hair is messy, her shoulders burnt, and her shorts undone. But she doesn't care.
There's an ease with the water and the smell of the ocean that fills the car and her nostrils that calm her. It makes time seem infinite, specifically with Adam. The way he reaches for her hand and holds so tight. The way he leans over to kiss the side of her face and whispers an 'i love you' the same time the wave crashes.
She leans over to kiss his lips tenderly, a faint taste of salt from being at the sea all day. A dim smell of sand as their noses brush together and a roughness to his dry cheek as he forgot to bring moisturizer.
"I love you," Becky tells him the moment they step into a cheap motel room, wanting the privacy neither of their homes gives them.
As they roll around under the covers, she realizes the scent of the beach clings onto their bodies and that's something she'll never forget.
Saying goodbyes have been hard all his life.
He grew comfortable with them when younger, with his biological dad, with the family members whom never accepted him, with the friends he left behind with her school transferred to. It should make it easier for Adam, but it's not.
Specifically when Becky's involved.
Their many break-ups were hard every time and even saying goodbye leaving her after a date was rough for him. He wants to consistently be near her and next to her. Maybe he's just clingy, but she's never seemed to care.
"I'm sorry I couldn't do this at your place." He's already apologizing, as he had promised to say goodbye with Imogen and Drew at her house. But in the early morning, reality set in and he really, really couldn't do this in front of her parents.
Becky smiles at him nonetheless and she looks so ethereal. She seems to belong at the beach, under the sun and with the wind. "I'm glad you told me to come here… the dry air will keep me from crying." They immediately embrace as they stand near the water.
Her hands go around his waist and his around her shoulders. She leans her head into the crook of her neck and he's so glad he grew a few inches, making this so much easier for her to relax against his form.
"That won't stop me."
He wants to kiss her as they pull away but I'll make it so much harder. A space is between them at arm's length and it's still difficult to resist a form of affection.
They stare at one another for a little too long that those around will find it weird. He drops his hands and digs them into his shorts, her arms fold in front of her chest. He smiles to himself, remembering how she did the same move in bed the night before while teasing each other.
"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Becky," Adam smiles and her smile reaches her eyes, a twinkle in them. "This has been one of the best summers of my life and you're so-" He sighs out loud, looking up at the sky in defeat as his eyes water. "You taught me how to love and how to be loved." His words become whispers as his strong voice fades into one of sadness. "You're my soulmate."
Becky nods and he can see the clearness in her eyes. He knows she wants to cry but is holding back. She's always done that. No matter how emotionally open she is and how vulnerable she can be around him, she holds her tears back whenever he lets it go.
He appreciates it.
He appreciates her.
"This isn't goodbye, Adam, so I'm not going to do this." Becky's shoulders slump for a second before her back is straight again. "I love you and that's what you need to know."
"I like that." He stretches his arm out to caress her face, tilting it up. He waits a second for her to pull away and when she doesn't, he leans down to kiss her like the first kiss they've ever shared.
Slow, tender, gentle, and conservative.
Except now it's at the beach, a place so open and unpredictable. No longer confined to the secrecy of the hallways of Degrassi or the constraints of her parents. It's open and there for all to see and he's going to miss it so much.
Becky runs a hand down his chest and gives a gentle push as her lips unlatch from his. He wipes at his eyes and she takes a deep breath that disappear's into the air of the ocean. "I guess this is it." She whispers and he nods.
Adam has to accept and the only way to do that is to say the words.
"We're officially broken up."
i've been working on this story since last year, writing and rewriting as it took me a while to see where this would go. my grammar is weak but i hope the essence of the story is good enough to excuse the poor grammar.
