Halluuu, everyone! This is my first story, and I hope it isn't too stupid... Anywho, please r&r!

Disclaimer: I do not own Legolas, nor anything else remotely related to anything written by Tolkien, nor anything in any Lord of the Rings movies. I don't even own the idea of Captain Obvious. What do I own? My Gimli mug. And that's about it...

One day, mild-mannered Elven princeling Legolas Greenleaf was summoned to meet with his father, the King of Mirkwood. He strode purposefully to his father's lavish throne room, wondering what was going on. If this was about the mysterious loss of the palace's stash of fine wine (which only disappeared on nights that /he/ was guarding it, and he would be found unconscious by the guards, strangely with no memory of the events of the night before), that had already been taken care of. Obviously, some Dwarf kept sneaking in on nights when the Elven prince was guarding the wine, knock him out, and drink an entire barrel.

Legolas walked into his father's lush throne room, decorated with rich tapestries depicting great battles of old. He paused momentarily when he reached his favorite: one showing himself slaying thousands of orcs, all without getting the slightest bit dirty. Which great battle of old was this? None. But you have to admit, he DID look good in fabric...

"Ah, you have made it, my son," King Thranduil greeting Legolas, standing up and inviting his favorite son to have a seat and a drink. "There are matters of great importance that I wish to discuss with you."

"So, that is why you have summoned me," Legolas replied, instantly regretting such a display of his powers of obvious-ness. Save it for superhero time, you ninny, he thought.

His father seemed not to notice, being so accustomed to such statements from his son. "Yes. Do you remember the strange prisoner, Gollum?"

"The strange beast that mutters constantly and makes this strange noise that sounds somewhat like 'gollum'? Yes, what of it?" Legolas asked, figuring that it wouldn't matter so much if he let a few things slip around his father, who was getting old, even by elvish standards. He concluded that King Thranduil wouldn't connect his overly-obvious son and the great Captain Obvious.

"Well, he escaped last night, and we can't find him anywhere," King Thranduil said, shaking his head slightly. "If only Captain Obvious had been there. He would have been able to save the unfortunate guards..."

Legolas shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Last night had been his night to guard the wine barrels, and, like every other time, he had been found unconscious with an entire barrel gone. Best to change the subject. "That's too bad. What do you want me to do about?"

"I would like you to travel to Imladris, and tell Lord Elrond of these and other strange events," the King replied. "I fear that this does not bode well for Middle-Earth. Mayhap you will meet Mithrandir there as well; he was rather interested in the fate of Gollum."

"Very well, father," Legolas replied. "I shall go at once."