Hello, all!

Okay, I know that I really need to finish AYCK. It is, in fact, my New Year's resolution for the year 2011-which as we all know virtually guarantees it won't happen. . However, this thing bit me too hard to not write it out. This is the first in a series of four short fics named after some of the upgrade components in FFXIII. I wanted to work on my short-story skills, since I'm really more of an epic person and short stories are good for honing all kinds of things in one's writing. Plus, do characters come much hotter than Cid Raines and Rygdea? ;) Nothing beyond friendship here (unfortunately), but if you want to read this as Rygdea just in denial, feel free.

And since I'm working on particular skills, here, PLEASE leave feedback so I can improve!

-Akuma

Tear of Frustration

Rygdea scowled at the door as it closed behind Raines's white-cloaked back. When he was sure it had shut completely, he turned and kicked a nearby console hard enough to dent it and ignored the angry burning in the corners of his eyes. The other Cavalry members kept their heads down and their gazes averted. They knew the drill. More and more often these days, talks with Cid ended this way, and Rygdea was getting frustrated and taking it out on the nearest inanimate object.

Unfortunately, there didn't seem to be anything else he could do. Cid was his friend, but the man seemed to be holding him at arms length. Rygdea knew something was bothering him, but he wouldn't say what. How was he supposed to help fix it—whatever 'it' was—if that obstinate, prideful, independent tight-ass wouldn't tell him? Hell, he couldn't even make Raines admit there was a problem.

Was it strange or just ironic the way things changed? Not so very long ago, he'd been looking to probably retire from the military, disgusted with the state of Cocoon, and angry at the indiscriminate Purges. It had seemed like the society he had sworn to protect was destroying itself in its terror of all things Pulsian. Back then, Cid had been the one who reached out to him, drawing him into a secret revolution of sorts. It had seemed so obvious that they needed to buck Fal'cie control if they were ever to take control of their own fates as human beings.

That idealistic vigor had fanned the crushed embers of his fighting spirit into flames, like when he'd been young—not that he was old, mind, even if his joints did creak occasionally, and he'd swear that was just due to too many combat drops screwing with his knees. Raines had given him a cause to live for, and the friendship that arose between them afterward over mugs of beer and plans for rebellions had been as much a comfort to Cid as to him.

Now, it was all backward, only Cid wouldn't allow him to try to breathe life back into him. There was something dull in the backs of his eyes, like the edge of a neglected sword, or of fine crystal thinly coated with dust. Rygdea could see that Cid's faith in their ultimate ability to overcome had wavered, and it was incredibly frustrating to him that he couldn't put his finger on where or when it occurred, because at least that would be a clue.

All that seemed to be left of the old Cid Raines was that desire to fight, but without the belief in the cause, it seemed more the wild thrashing of a lamb caught in the wolf's jaws than of a revolutionary bucking the system. Rygdea tried to banish the thought from memory as soon as it occurred, but all he could think of was the glassy-eyed stare of a prey-beast near the brink of death, trying at least to leave the predator a bruise by which to remember the meal.

Cid was a dangerous man, he reminded himself. You didn't get to be a general in the Guardian Corps at such a relatively young age otherwise. PSICOM, sure, but the GC was a place where high test scores alone wouldn't net you a command—you had to prove yourself. So he really shouldn't worry so much. Raines would surely be fine. The fact that he'd handed over all his command codes prior to leaving, and that he refused to say exactly where he was going—well, Rygdea shouldn't read too much into it. Probably just a precaution, and Eden's teeth, Cid had been jumping at shadows the past few weeks, so it would be entirely in keeping with his behavior of late.

Once he got back, though... Rygdea smacked a fist into his hand fiercely enough to make those near him jump. He grinned at their deer-in-the-headlights expressions and whistled a little tune as he left the bridge. He made a mental deal with Cid, that next time they saw each other, he would wring the whole story out of his sorry guts. Rygdea was a captain of the Guardian Corps, and he didn't take this kind of choco-shit from anyone, not even his best friend. He hadn't cried in ages, and Cid Raines wasn't going to make him start, not even if they were just tears of frustration.