So, here is another one. Not quite a year later...
Which brings me to the most important part of this foreword: THANK YOU! I didn't realize it's so addictive to read the reviews some left or to see the story gained another follower/favorite notion.
Another important part seems to be the disclaimer: No, there is no way either NCIS LA or Hawaii Five-0 belong to me. Lucky me, I wouldn't like the hassle that ownership would bring...
As to loveRnB: Yes, I realize "Uncle Steve" might clue Sam in. I got it kind of mixed up with a thought Callen had. I have an idea that might fix this, but, unfortunately, its just that, an idea, no story in sight to put around... But as my "chapter" is not really part of Bee's story, no harm done...
Talking of Bee: Thank you, too. First for thanking the readers who left reviews in my name as well and second for giving your OK for another chapter I wrote. Would virtual cookies be an appropriate way to express my gratitude?
I was told my grammar is improving, but, sadly, that doesn't mean it is without fault (I'm not even going to start about typos and other oddities still left after checking and re-checking for several times), so please be kind and enjoy the story nevertheless...
Waltzing right over the line
His phone chimed some Bruce Springsteen and as Monty stared and woofed at the sofa, Deeks was able to find it under a pile of cushions. No idea how and when it had gotten there.
"Hi, how's life in paradise?"
"He took him and I nearly lost him, Marty. He was almost killed and I don't know what I would have done if we hadn't been there on time. Not after what happened to Matty, not any time."
"Danny? What the hell, man? How are you? How's Steve?"
"He was…" Deeks could hear Danny choke through the line, breathing hard. "What am I thinking? I can't talk to you of all people." and before Deeks could say a word the call ended.
Incredulously Deeks stared at his cell phone at once dialing Danny's number. The call went to the mailbox as did the next ones. Deeks sat down on the sofa absently scratching Monty's head and thinking hard about his options and what to do next.
Danny sat on his bed staring at the phone in his hand. It had been kind of reflex to call Deeks to share what had happened. Only when he was going to tell the other detective about Steve's torture he realized that Deeks might be the last person who wanted to hear about another of his friends – admittedly a friend by proxy only – having been tortured. Danny fingered the phone, ignoring Deeks' incoming calls, his mind going back to the last time he and Deeks had met.
Trained police officer that he was his eyes flicked over his surroundings assessing everything. He wasn't even conscious of doing it, it was so ingrained in his persona that he did it automatically. Tree, car in the background - black, probably from a funeral service - marble angel, another tree, further graves, his parents, his siblings, funeral guests, Matty's grave. Don't linger there…
Tree, car in the background, marble angel - Why must those things always look so sad? Well, maybe because they were standing on a graveyard? - Deeks, another tree, further graves, his parents, his siblings, funeral guests, Matty's grave. Danny tiredly wiped his eyes.
Tree, car gone, marble angel, another tree – Danny's eyes lingered a moment on the large branches of the trees, thinking that it would have been perfect for him and Matty to climb as children - Deeks, further graves, his parents and siblings talking to some neighbors expressing their sympathies, Matty's grave. He just couldn't go over there and join the line to be told by the funeral guests how much his brother would be missed. He just couldn't!
Tree, another car in the background - blue this time, maybe a Mercedes or some other European brand - marble angel, another tree, further graves, Deeks exchanging some words with his parents and siblings, Matty's grave. Danny's gaze settled on the ground in front of him, giving the stems of grass more attention than they deserved. He would stay here for a while. He needed some alone time at his brother's grave before he could join his parents and siblings at home for the reception. Time for another good bye, time to say how sorry he was. Although he must have said those things a thousand times already and it wouldn't change anything. His little brother was dead. Killing Reyes had been satisfying but the fact remained: Matty was still dead. Looking up again he saw Deeks watching his parents and siblings leave before he turned and regarded at him with compassion in his eyes.
That compassing wouldn't last long once the fellow detective realized that Danny acted more on: Do as I say and not as I do! Yeah, it would go over really well considering their talk when Deeks had come back from Afghanistan and what had transpired there. Toeing the line, my ass. Danny hadn't only toed it, he had waltzed right over it with vengeance.
"I don't need you to tell me that I'm a hypocrite. Believe me, I told myself exactly that over and over again, but it doesn't change anything. I did what I did and I would do it again without hesitation." Danny yelled, though mindful of the location admittedly not at the top of his lungs.
Deeks had the sauciness to smirk. „Seriously? Would you mind terribly to have an actual conversation with me instead of the one we obviously just had in your head? I know that you know that there are enough things you're just wrong about. Like holding on to the thought of living on a pineapple invested hellhole instead of paradise or surfing not being THE sport in life. But this sounds serious so I would at least like to have a slight chance to have my own reasons for calling you a hypocrite."
Danny's mouth snapped shut after hearing Deeks' rambling and he swallowed. His brain finally registered on what his eyes had been telling him for the last minutes: Deeks wasn't a figment of his imagination. He was really here with him.
"How? Why?" Danny stuttered at a loss for words and started to turn with burning eyes.
"Oh man, you're like Kensi. Come 'ere!" Deeks took hold of his hand and pulled him in a tight embrace. Gently squeezing the base of his neck Deeks didn't say anything, just held him. Danny didn't know how long they have stood there silently before Deeks finally spoke. It was what Danny had expected though he had hoped differently.
"You know, you should be ashamed of yourself."
Danny flinched. He thought Deeks might be mad, but hearing it hurt nevertheless.
"Look what you have done to your brother."
Another flinch, but Deeks still held him and Danny was desperate enough right now to want to be held despite those words.
"You made him go against his principles and what for? Money? Really? That's never a good reason to betray family. To be precise: There is NEVER a good reason to hurt someone who loves you that much!" anger laced Deeks' words.
Incredulously Danny looked up at Deeks' face at hearing those words. But the taller man wasn't looking at him, he was looking at Matty's grave.
"He's my younger brother. He's my responsibility." Danny couldn't help the slight anger creeping in his voice, the protective streak regarding his brother still in full swing. The men exchanged a long look. "Was" Danny whispered with a broken voice. "He was my younger brother, I should have."
"I'm sure you did what you could, Danny. He was your parent's responsibility in the past and his own responsibility after he got of age, never yours. No brother or sister should be made responsible for the deeds of its siblings." Deeks interrupted.
"You don't understand. You have no idea…"
"Then tell me. Make me understand." Deeks interrupted again.
It was all Danny needed. There was just no way he could tell his parents the whole truth of what had happened, but Deeks? Yes, he could tell his friend. He needed to tell someone other than his ohana in Hawaii. After drawing a deep breath Danny took a step back from Deeks and started his tale with the last time Matty had been on Hawaii and ended with what had occurred in Colombia. Deeks didn't interrupt; he just listened in silent support. Sometimes the words just tumbled over Danny's lips, fast and furious like his ranting, other times he choked on each syllable, barley able get a word out through his tight throat. At the beginning Danny paced the small patch in front of Matty's grave, but when he got to Colombia his knees buckled. Deeks caught him and together they sank to the ground and sat there. Danny was dimly aware of suddenly leaning sideways against the legs of someone, but he didn't care. Deeks had his back and as he showed no concern Danny felt safe to stay where he was and continue with his impromptu confession. Finally his narration wound up.
"Steve wanted to come. Naturally he wanted to, but I just couldn't stand it. It's hard enough to face my family as it is, but seeing Steve right now brings everything back and I need all my strength to stay here. I don't have enough energy left to fight going back there in my mind whenever I see Steve. Don't get me wrong: I love him. Steve is my brother and without him Matty wouldn't be back, I wouldn't be back. I owe him more than I could ever pay back, but this? I just."
"Shhh, it's OK, Danny. I get it. No reason to explain. And no, I don't think you're a hypocrite though I have to admit I would love for you to take a step back from the line. Frankly, it scares me." Deeks' eyes were brimmed with tears and his smile was sad when he cocked his head at Danny.
Danny nodded, taking a deep breath, wiping his face. Somehow he wasn't embarrassed. This was Deeks, it was OK.
"How long can you stay? Could you come home with me? There is a funeral reception planned, starting in" Danny glanced at his watch "Wow, in five minutes. Well…"
Deeks chuckled and flustered Danny faltered. His voice was hoarse from all the talking and he felt emotionally drained yet relieved. His phone vibrated in his pocket which broke his line of thought. Sighing he took it out inspecting the display. A message from his parents: checking on when he would come, if everything was OK. Danny snorted. No, nothing was OK, his brother was dead. Danny shuddered and scrambled to get to his feet.
Someone helped him stand up and gently stabilized him when he swayed on his feet, a sudden vertigo hitting him unsuspecting. Danny remembered the feeling of leaning against someone's legs and blinked up like an owl. It took him several long moments to place the guy standing in front of him with an unreadable expression on his face. Then it clicked: A SEAL stampede with barbeque and photo session at Steve's beach, circulated videos to embarrass a certain SEAL "Greg, hey. Where are you coming from?"
"I'm sorry for your loss." Greg nodded earnestly, ignoring Danny's question and sudden embarrassment, still holding on to his shoulders with both hands, squeezing slightly. He let go after he was sure Danny was able to stand on his own.
"Thanks." Danny mumbled, looking everywhere but Greg's face.
"So you really know him? Pew, I'm so relieved. I mean, it isn't every day that some guys show up at your doorstep, introducing themselves as friends of Steve and Danny and asking for your plans for the day and next. Before you know it you're sort of shanghaied and carted over the lengths – or is it width? - of America. I was sure I was going to be blindfolded at one time or another." Deeks rambled to Greg's amusement. It gave Danny the much needed time to compose himself.
"So Hetty didn't…"
"No, this time it wasn't Hetty's doing. At least as far as I know." Deeks stopped and he and Danny turned to look at Greg.
The SEAL just smirked and didn't react to Deeks' implied question. Instead he said "Let's just say we have our own reasons for helping the two of you. I need to go now. Warren will pick you up at the Williams' house at 1900, that's 7 p.m. for the civilians" Both detectives rolled their eyes. "otherwise you won't make it on time for your flight back. It's a non-stop flight so you should be able to take some shut eye on the way."
"Great! Thank you, Greg." Deeks smiled his sunny smile - one which Greg knew by word of mouth deflected some serious issues, did it very good that is - and they shook hands.
Greg couldn't help himself. He roped Danny in for a hug although it obviously made the guy a bit uncomfortable. "Talk to Steve, Danny. Don't shut him out."
"I will talk to Steve, I promise, just not today!"
Danny didn't smile when he shook Greg's hand, but the SEAL didn't expect him to. The men parted way not knowing when they would meet again.
As promised Deeks accompanied him to the reception and stood by his side through the entire ordeal. If it raised some questioning eyebrows Danny chose to ignore them and Deeks took them with his own special brand of deflecting humor.
"Call me whenever you need to." Deeks had said when Warren had arrived to pick him up.
Now, after Danny had taken Deeks by his word, he stared at the phone in his hand and shook his head in annoyance. He knew Deeks had meant those words, but he couldn't do this to him. Talking or hearing about torture, not after Sidorov, not after what had happened to Kensi in Afghanistan.
With a deep sigh Danny fell back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He was beyond tired after spending the last hours with Steve in the hospital calming and reassuring the confused man as necessary. It had taken considerable convincing from his fellow ohana until he finally conceded to the fact that he needed rest and should go home for a few hours to shower, eat and sleep. Not that his mind provided him any rest. He needed to talk. Urgently!
Danny had no idea for how long he lay there when he noticed his door bell ringing. Voting to ignore whoever was there Danny stayed where he was. It didn't take long for whoever to stop with ringing the bell. Instead there was the sound of a knock, followed by a key turning and the door opening. Before Danny could get agitated and go for his gun he heard a calm voice asking:
"Hey brah! You here somewhere?"
"Chin? What's the matter? Steve OK?" Danny jumped to his feet and hastened to his living room were Chin was waiting with a wide a smile.
"Sorry, Danny. I didn't mean to alarm you. Steve is as OK as he can be right now. You on the other hand."
"I'm fine." Danny interrupted with tired hand waving.
"That's not what I was told and it's not what I see." Chin sighed. He tapped on his tablet that Danny hadn't noticed until now and nodded at something on the screen. "I'm here and you were right, he definitely shouldn't be alone." he then said and Danny realized that his friend was skyping with someone.
Frowning Danny went to stand beside Chin and looked down at the offered tablet.
"Deeks?" Danny managed to give the name at least five more e's than it had in reality.
"Sorry Danno, but desperate times call for desperate measures. You can't do that to me! Give me a call, throw some worrisome tidbits at me and then vanish from the face of earth."
"Don't call me Danno. And I didn't vanish from the face of the earth, I'm right here." Danny seethed with anger which made his fellow police officers grin. Everything was better than a silently suffering Danny.
"So, talk to me, you idiot. Chin told me what happened and I feel a bit insulted that you thought I couldn't stomach what you needed to get from your chest. I'm not a brittle flower."
"Martin A. Deeks."
"Daniel 'Danno' Williams."
Blue eyes locked in a staring contest that ended when Deeks chose to fix Chin with a mischievous grin "Cuff him once over the head, please. And then a hug."
Taken by surprise Chin complied with the first part, but stopped at Danny's disbelieving stare before he could also do the second.
Deeks' merry laughter filled the room through the speakers and it was all it took to catch Danny's attention and start his cathartic rant. Chin somehow managed to point the tablet's camera to wherever Danny paced so the fellow detectives could still see each other. For all they cared Chin could be part of the furniture. The lieutenant didn't mind though.
He was amazed at how Deeks succeeded in riling Danny up and then calm him down again, first with the severity the situation deserved, later laced with more and more brazen humor that finally made Danny laugh. Chin felt himself grinning more than he would have thought to be able to after all that had happened.
"So, I take it you do like each other after all?" Chin ventured after another laughing fit which had left him and Danny breathlessly sitting on the sofa, Danny leaning against him with a soft smile. How they hand needed this!
"Please don't tell Steve." both detectives begged unison fixing him with beguiling looks. Chin snorted and shook his head. "I had my suspicions, but you are good at deflecting, I give you that. It will be too much fun to watch Steve's ongoing cluelessness, so no, I won't tell him."
"Good." Danny sighed, closed his eyes and before they knew it he was sound asleep, still using Chin as his cushion.
"You want to put him to bed, tuck him in?" Deeks asked teasingly.
"Na, I'm good." Chin said after some consideration. "And you're just jealous that you don't have your own cuddly companion."
Deeks just grinned, tilted his laptop so the camera showed Monty plastered against his side, head in his lap, snoring softly.
Chin couldn't help the grin. "OK, yours is fluffier." After a moment he added "Care to entertain me some more?"
Deeks consulted his watch "I may have another hour to awe you with the adventures of this amazing person you just had the opportunity to get to know better, then I'm afraid I have to go to work."
"Surveillance?"
"The whole night. Oh the joys of undercover police work." Deeks grinned nevertheless. He was looking forward to riling up Kensi. There would surely be one opportunity or the next during the shift.
Chin nodded in understanding. The hour went by faster than thought and they had to say their good byes.
"Thank you." Deeks said again. "I didn't know who else to call with Catherine gone."
"You're welcome, brah. And mahalo. I'm glad there is someone else out there taking care of our haole." Chin didn't mention that the mahalo was also for himself. The last hour had been more for his benefit than Danny's. "Don't rile Kensi up too much, I would hate to read your obituary."
"Na, where's the fun in that?"
Grinning they disconnected, both satisfied in their knowledge that their mutual friend was going to be OK.