Journey To Refuge: Chapter One
Old Mamut knew he was dying. He lay on a thick layer of animal furs on his sleeping platform in the Mammoth Hearth of the Lion Camp. Except for Crozie and Wymez, he had the entire structure to himself. The rest of Lion Camp had left for the Summer Meeting and Mammoth Hunt a week earlier, eager to join the annual gathering of Mamutoi camps, but sorry to have to leave the three members of their own camp behind. Mamut's age had finally caught up with him, and the previous winter had not been kind. Far too weak to even consider travelling, he had finally had to insist that Lion Camp go to the Meeting when the co-leaders Talut and Tulie offered to stay and skip it this year. Crozie and Wymez decided to stay as well due to their respective ailments, and they made it clear that they would do everything they could to keep Mamut comfortable. Talut finally decided to go, and the entire camp made their farewells before they left, knowing that it was unlikely Mamut would survive the summer season.
Wymez and Crozie had stayed outside the entrance of the winter camp for several hours after the rest of Lion Camp left that morning, talking about many of the things they had seen and experienced in their lives. Wymez recounted, once again, the high points of the ten-year journey he made in his youth. The rigors of that journey were now apparent in his posture and his walk. Ankle, knee and hip joints, worn of most or all of their cartilage, made moving about difficult. Hunting and long journeys were now a part of his past. Over the years, he had come to enjoy the company of the once-disagreeable Crozie. The woman was very old now, and had little left in her life save her children and grandchildren, but she retained a great fondness for reminiscing and gossip that Wymez now found to be a comfort.
As she and Wymez spoke that day, both of them recalled the all-too-brief time that their lives had overlapped with the strange young woman named Ayla. Despite the few months that their lives overlapped, both recalled many, many events – years' worth, it seemed to them. The two horses, her wolf, the men who loved her, the lives she saved, including Crozie's granddaughter, and the incredible healing skills she possessed. Both of them wished Ayla were now present to give them any comfort she could. Wymez' joints ached constantly, and Crozie was experiencing an internal pain that seemed to grow a bit worse each day. Willow bark tea had long ago lost its effectiveness for both of them, and Crozie had reached a point in her life where she was looking forward to her return to the Mother, if only for the relief from pain it would provide. As they continued to speak into the lengthening daylight, Mamut listened.
He too had been thinking, meditating about, and even dreaming of Ayla more frequently over the past weeks and months. As he moved closer and closer to his own impending meeting with Mut, he was possessed of a great and growing desire to know what had become of the adopted daughter of his hearth. Had she fulfilled her obvious promise? He had never met anyone else, before or after Ayla, who seemed to be so naturally and abundantly gifted. He would have dearly loved for her to have stayed and lived out her life with him and the Mamutoi, but he knew, both then and now, that the Mother had other plans for Ayla.
When Mamut felt his inner spirit begin rising within him, he knew his time was near. With the last flush of his health and energy he resolved to take one last Search…the greatest search of his life. He rose from his bed platform and looked through the various herbs, roots and mushrooms he kept on hand for his spiritual journeys. He carefully separated out semuta, datura, and a variety of other plants he had used successfully in the past. "I've never used them in this combination, or in these quantities, before" he mused, "but then, this is the one Search I don't plan to return from." He prepared them each in accordance with his long years of experience, and used his considerable intuitive powers to decide upon the proportions of each to take.
He heard Wymez and Crozie continue to reminisce outside the lodge, and he decided not to disturb them. It would be better to embark on this last journey alone, he thought, without the possibility that one of them would interfere by trying to bring his spirit back to his body before his search was completed. He wrapped himself in warm furs and meditated for a brief time, concentrating on his purpose, and framing his final request to Mut. Mamut intended to stretch his last Search as far as humanly possible, and perhaps, with Mut's aid, even farther. He would begin, as he usually did, by sending his spirit out from Lion Camp and surveying the immediate environs as if he were searching for nearby game to hunt. He would then try to find and follow the members of Lion Camp on their way to the Summer Meeting. They should still be travelling, but be within a day or two of their destination. If that was successful, he intended to travel as high as his spirit might fly to obtain an eagle's-eye view of the world, then follow the Great Mother River to its beginnings. He recalled Jondalar's stories of crossing a small plateau glacier near the source of the Great Mother River, and that his people, the Zelandonii, lived a short journey west of there.
If Mamut were successful in accomplishing all of that, he would try to locate Ayla. Mamut wasn't sure what he would, or could, do in the event he found her, but he would satisfied just to know where her life had taken her to this point in time. Did she still have her animals? Was she mated to Jondalar? Did they have children? Was she a Mamut, or a Zelandonii? His great desire to know these things crystalized his thinking and he made his final plea to Mut: "Great Mother of All, I have spent my many long years serving you to the very best of my abilities. In all that time, I have asked for your help, aid, and comfort on numerous occasions. But always, my pleas for your assistance were for others, not for myself. I feel you calling my spirit to you now, and I wish to make a single plea for myself. Before my spirit returns to you, Mother of All, I wish to see the entire world as it is, or at least as much of it as you in your wisdom see fit to grant to me. Most of all, I'd love to see the daughter of my hearth, your gifted child Ayla. I am prepared to leave this life after this journey and do whatever bidding you may choose to make of my spirit, in Your service."
With those thoughts, Mamut wrapped himself in his finest furs, set himself up in his most comfortable meditating spot, and ingested the mixture of powerful hallucinogens, potent drugs, and mind-altering substances that he had already prepared. In his weakened state, on an empty stomach, and fully relaxed and ready for his final journey, the effects were immediate and profound. He found himself outside the lodge looking down on Crozie and Wymez as they watched the setting sun in silence. Bidding them a silent goodbye, he followed the setting sun westward. In a matter of moments, or so it seemed to him, he came upon the members of the Lion Camp. They were bedding down for one last night of sleeping under the stars before they would reach Eagle Camp, where the summer meeting was being held this year. Mamut paused momentarily, wondering if he could, or should, try to somehow contact Talut and Tulie, the leaders of Lion Camp. As soon as he thought of that, however, he felt himself being pulled up higher and higher into the sky until he could barely make out even the fires of the travelers. At that precise moment, a bright meteor hurled across the sky leaving a long-lasting trail that continued to shine for several minutes as it faded.