Tony woke up in a panic. He managed to stop himself from crying out, but he couldn't fight down the urge to vomit. He made it to the bathroom just in time.

The nightmares were getting worse. He hadn't slept properly in almost a year. Some nights he didn't get any sleep at all. Those were the nights when he went for a run, or went to the office. But running and working didn't get rid of the images and thoughts that had led to his insomnia.

The ringing of his cell phone cut short his thoughts. Tony groaned as he pulled himself up from his spot leaning against the bathroom counter.

Tony took four steps out of his bathroom, but then the need to puke had him turning around.

''DiNozzo,'' he answered once he finally picked it up.

''What took you so long?'' McGee asked on the other end.

''Sorry, I was throwing up. What do you need?''

''I'm at Gibbs' house. He's in his basement, and he's acting really weird, and I don't know what to do.'' McGee's voice was full of panic and alarm.

Tony glanced at the alarm clock on his night table: 01:43 February 28. ''Oh, shit. I'll be there in five minutes. Don't let Gibbs shoot himself.''

Tony hung up and grabbed his keys. He ran out of the house, not caring that he was only wearing a pair of sweatpants.

He made it to Gibbs' house in record time: 4 minutes and 28 seconds. McGee was waiting for him anxiously.

Tony brushed past McGee and softly walked down the stairs to the basement. As Tony had expected, Gibbs was leaning against the boat, Kelly's lunchbox in one hand, and his gun in the other. Tony slid forward slowly, and seated himself against the wall facing Gibbs. The wall was cold against his bare back. McGee had followed Tony into the basement, and seated himself on the stairs.

Tony stared at Gibbs for a few minutes before he spoke. ''Are you actually going to do it this time?'' Tony's voice was harsh and bitter.

Gibbs looked up and the sound. He hadn't realized that Tony had entered the room. He glanced over and saw a terrified McGee sitting on the steps.

''I don't know,'' he said quietly.

''We go over this every year, Gibbs. You can't bring them back.''

''I know. If they can't come to me, maybe I should go to them.''

''Well then hurry up and shoot yourself. You're cutting into the time I normally spend sleeping.''

''Tony!'' McGee interjected.

''What?'' Tony said angrily. ''He should have done it years ago. I should never have stopped him that first time.''

''What would that have solved?'' McGee asked, shocked that Tony would say such a thing.

''I don't know, but maybe if he had, then Kate would still be here.'' Gibbs raised his head in confusion. ''You know what I'm talking about, Gibbs. Kate died to save you. You pull that trigger now, and Kate died for nothing. It would be the same as killing her yourself.''

''You don't understand, DiNozzo. How could you?'' Gibbs' voice was quiet and sad.

''You're not the only person who's lost someone, Gibbs. And you either need to accept that and move on, or just shoot yourself and get it over with,'' Tony stated bitterly. ''And if you don't decide in the next ten seconds, then I will grab that gun and shoot you myself.''

McGee sat in a panic. What if Gibbs decided that the easiest course of action would be to die? Or what if he didn't decide within the time limit? Would Tony actually shoot him? Or what if Gibbs got pissed off and shot Tony?

''Eight... seven... six... five... four...'' Gibbs put the gun on the floor. Tony stretched over and grabbed it.

Having accomplished his task, Tony stood up and took the gun upstairs. McGee followed. Tony stopped at the safe in the living room and punched in the combo. He quickly stowed the gun and slammed it shut.

''How did you do that? And why do you know the combination for Gibbs' safe?'' McGee questioned.

Tony just shrugged and settled into the couch. He pulled the afghan off the back, and wrapped it around himself.

''You just gonna stand there?'' Tony asked. McGee quickly sat down in the armchair.

''Is Gibbs' gonna be okay?''

''Yeah, he'll come up in a few minutes.''

''I'm assuming that this is a regular occurrence?''

''Every year,'' Tony answered.

''How have you dealt with it in past years?''

''First year, I nearly had a heart attack. Second year, I just talked him out of it. Third, fourth and fifth year were great, then sixth year until now have been terrible. You just kinda go with whatever you think will work.''

''Why were years three through five so wonderful?''

''You don't want to know.''

''Fine, be that way.'' There was a small pause before McGee spoke again. ''Why were you throwing up this morning?''

''What?''

''This morning, when I called, you said that you were throwing up. Are you okay?''

''Oh, yeah, I'm fine. It was nothing,'' Tony answered.

McGee glared at him, obviously not believing him, but Gibbs chose that moment to come upstairs. Gibbs paused to stare at the men in his living room before going to his bedroom.

McGee and DiNozzo stared at each other. ''I get the couch,'' Tony said suddenly. To prove his point, he pulled the blanket even tighter and snuggled into the cushions. ''Are you going to spend the night?''

McGee shook his head. He needed to get back home. ''See you tomorrow, Tony. Thanks for coming out.''

Tony nodded. ''Bye.''

The door closed quietly, and Tony was left in silence.