Thanks for the reviews in "Good enough"~~~~~

Guest : I'm sorry but that fic ended after Neah die... I'M SORRY!

Well, enjoy this fic~~~

Disclaimer : I don't own -Man

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The Letter

I saw him again. He was looking as beautiful as always. His cobalt blue eyes seem to scream nothing but perfectness. It amazed me, how beautiful a human can be. I hid behind a pillar, staring at him from far. I wanted to tell him my feelings, but I'm afraid.

What if, he'll hate me?

What if, I disgust he?

I swallowed thickly. My hands clutched at the letter in my hand tightly. Tomorrow... I told myself again.

How many times have I repeated this?

Tomorrow... I'll tell him for sure...

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My eyes widen as I registered what my master told me.

"...What..."

I was so... so... I did not know what I felt that time. Was is sadness? Was it anger? Was it despair?

"You heard me right. We. Are. Moving. Out."

Those four words repeated without any sense of pity. I swore I could feel my heart shattered into millions of pieces.

"But- But why?"

"WE ARE MOVING OUT AND THAT'S FINAL! I'M SICK OF LOOKING AT YOUR DREAMY FACE WHEN YOU STARE AT THE NEXT DOOR SAMURAI GUY!"

"But I don't want to leave!" I was panicking, I knew it well.

"I still need to attend classes! I- I still have to work!" I tried to reason with my master, silently hoping that he will just abandon the thought of leaving this place. I don't want to leave this place! I don't want to leave Kanda.

"Either you stay here yourself and get hunt by the incoming debt collectors, or you leave with me. NOW. I've rank up more debts by the way. And I accidentally let it slip about your little crush on that certain samurai. So, choose. brat. Create troubles to him by staying here, or leave with me?"

The argument was invalid.

He knew me too well.

He knew what I'll choose.

That night, I spend the whole night crying. My tears flowed down my cheeks, staining them wet. My eyes were getting heavier the longer I cried. But I don't want to sleep! If I sleep, tomorrow will come earlier. No! I don't want that!

I can't sleep now. I can't sleep now...

After tonight, I can never see Kanda anymore. What will his life be, I wonder? Maybe getting a job he love, a life mate he deserves, everything he wants?

I smiled, although I could feel the tears poured down more.

His life was always better than mine. Who am I to worry about his future?

Who am I to question this life I'm living?

Finally giving into the need of sleeping, I closed my eyes slowly, trying my best to let my body relax.

Goodbye, Kanda Yuu

A letter was left forgotten on the study table.

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"Welcome to the academy, Allen Walker!"

I smiled to all my new friends. It have been 2 years after I left that place. I missed him. Sometimes, I'll even stare into space for the whole day, thinking of him.

I'll admit, life have been better since I left. I did not know why master stopped his gambling and womanising attitude all of a sudden. He even have a proper job now. I was kind of surprise of his change in attitude but I did not dare to question him. Life was way better than back then. Did Master finally get sick of being chased by debt collectors? I shrugged inwardly. I continue staring at the blue sky outside the window.

"Allen! Guess what, guess what!"

"Erm... You finally lose your brain and now you're finding it?"

"Yea- What? NO! YOU ARE SO MEAN TO ME, ALLEN!" Lavi wailed.

"That's what you get for disturbing his day dreaming. He might be dreaming of his prince charming, right Allen-kun?" Leenalee appeared beside Lavi and pulled out a nearby chair, sitting herself down.

I blushed madly. Leenalee is the one who found out my sexuality and told the whole world. Thanks to that, I even have my own fan club in school. I did not know how she knew, but according to Lavi, it was all because of something called... Yam..? Yaoi? Yum? When I asked Lavi for the meaning, he just snickered and told me, "Allen, my pure little brother, it's something you should NOT know in your age."

"Really, Allen buddy? So who's the lucky girl/guy?" Lavi chirped in, his eyes sparkling.

"I..." Should I tell them about Kanda?

"Yeah?" Leenalee and Lavi exclaimed together, their ears getting closer to my mouth so that nothing could escape their ears.

"I..."

RING!

It was a call from master. Quickly excusing myself, I walked out of the classroom and answered the call.

"Speaking."

"Brat, I have some friends coming over so you BEHAVE."

Wow, master have... friends... I was kind of shocked.

"Okay, need me to buy anythin-"

"Hell yeah. Some bottles of expensive wines sound great."

And the call ended.

Okay, maybe lady luck is not on my side today... I convinced myself.

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"I'm home."

"Where are the wines?"

I handed the wines to master and greeted our visitors.

It was then I felt my heart stop beating for a while.

He was there, scowling at everything he sees. His cobalt eyes were sharper than back then, bringing out the matureness in him. His long silky ebony hair neatly tied into a high ponytail, giving him an image of an ancient samurai.

"What are you looking at, moyashi?" His stern voice snapped me back into the reality.

I quickly look away and went to my room straight.

Kanda is here! Kanda is here!

I was so happy, I kept smiling to myself that night. Sometimes, a giggle or two will escape from my mouth.

Maybe today is not that bad after all.

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"...Say what?"

"I hate repeating myself idiot brat."

"So you mean, Tiedoll-san and his family will stay here? Until they think of moving out?"

My heart was blooming flowers.

"Yes. That damn Tiedoll better be grateful to me..." My master muttered.

Yes, at last!

This time, surely, I will tell him how I feel.

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Everything was turning perfect.

Every single thing.

"MOYASHI, WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP EARLIER?!"

"WELL, SORRY THAT I'M AFRAID OF YOU KICKING ME OUT OF YOUR ROOM AGAIN!" I yelled back.

Er... Aside from the fighting part, of course.

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"Happy birthday, moyashi. Tiedoll forced me to buy this... DON'T YOU DARE THINK I'LL DO THIS AGAIN!"

"Wipe off that stupid smile on your face. You look fake."

"Make me extra serving of soba for tomorrow's bento. I'm staying back"

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Kanda was opening up to me. Sometimes, he'll even blame Tiedoll-san when he did something nice to me. It made my heart fluttered. I'm glad that he think of me as one of his... his... friend, I guess?

Does that mean he might return my feelings?

"Moyashi, stop giggling like you're on drugs!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME, MY NAME IS ALLEN!"

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I thought I stand a chance now, as he accepted me in his life.

But I guess homosexual never have a good ending.

"I asked Alma out. She said yes." He was beaming, I could feel it.

"...Congrats. I'm happy for you..." That's not true. I'm not happy. At all.

"Ah, my Yuu-kun is finally in love!" Tiedoll started wiping his tears away.

Everyone was proud of Kanda. Even master was amazed with him.

Alma was the most beautiful girl in the neighbourhood. She's smart, talented, graceful... She has everything that men will all die to have her as their wife. And now, Kanda managed to ask her out. It was indeed, something worth celebrating.

Yes, it's worth celebrating.

It's a happy celebration, right?

I can't cry now.

Not now.

I can't.

Even though I can feel my heart aching in such agonizing pain.

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I held the letter in my hands.

Its useless now, isn't it?

The letter that contains nothing but my love for him.

Its not worth a single penny now.

However, I can't find the strength to throw it away.

It felt like I'm gouging my heart out and throw it away to a faraway place.

I folded the letter into a piece of paper as small as a ring box and placed them inside my pocket.

I'll throw it away later, I told myself.

All of a sudden, I felt a dizzy spell hit me hard. I held on a nearest pole and lean my body to it, trying to balance myself.

It was getting frequent, the symptoms.

I started coughing. I placed my hand to my mouth, and I saw red.

There were blood on my hand.

I should be panicking, but I'm not.

Was it because I don't care anymore?

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"Mr Walker, I'm sorry. This is an unknown disease. We can't help you."

"...What...?"

"We are really sorry."

"..."

I was scared.

"...How long do I still have?"

"1 month, latest."

I was scared that Kanda will reject me if he know I'm dying soon.

But he might love me more if he knows I'll die soon.

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One sentence.

That was all it took, to take all my will power away.

"I asked Alma out. She said yes."

A simple sentence.

A simple sentence that take away my only hope.

A simple sentence that snatched my future, my happiness away.

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"Mr Walker, if you happen to cough out blood, call for medical attention immediately. We might extend your life a little longer if we reach in time."

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Does it even matter now?

I smiled bitterly to myself. I am now sliding down the pole, my back leaning against the cold pole. I feel tired. Really, really tired.

I closed my eyes, trying to enjoy the last sensation of being alive.

"Kanda..."

I can feel more blood pouring out from my mouth.

Everything is getting blurry.

So blurry-

"Allen!"

It sounds so much like Kanda's...

I raise my head slightly but my vision is failing me.

Is that you, Kanda?

"Oi! Wake up! Wake..."

I can't hear a thing anymore.

So this is what it feels like to die, huh?

"Wipe off that stupid smile on your face. You look fake."

Kanda...

"...Aishiteru, Kanda...Yuu..."

I surrendered to the darkness.

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Ah, I haven't give him the letter...

No. It doesn't matter now.

Good night, everyone.

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A/N : Thanks a lot for reading~~~~ hope you enjoy this~ I wondering, should I write a Kanda's POV? Please R&R~