Questions I've ALWAYS wondered about Twilight and what would happen if... All that sort of stuff. Review! Also it might start as a one shot but turn into more one shots, when i get more questions.
Do Vampires get periods?
Alice - I don't.
Bella - I don't.
Esme - I don't.
Rosalie - I do.
Alice - What the fuck Rose? Vampire's don't have blood!
Bella - OMG! Rose has a power! She gets periods! Woo! Go Rose!
Rosalie - YES! I HAVE A POWER... But it hurts SO much.
Esme - WTF?
Can a fat person become a Vampire?
Alice - No.
Bella - I don't know.
Esme - I'm not sure, ask Carlisle.
Rosalie - HELL NO! Actually, maybee....
Carlisle - Fat people can become vampires but the change hurts more because the venom has to eat up all of the fat.
Edward - No Offense anyone fat.
Emmett - Wait... was I fat?
Jasper - I DONT KNOW! ASK ROSE!
Was Emmett fat before he changed?
Jasper - Great, now you've gotten her asking us.
Rosalie - He wasn't.
Esme - He was just a retard.
Bella - o_O Esme... Emmett's your son.
Alice - He was just a retard with muscles.
Edward - Let's not forget a moron who wanted to FIGHT an angry bear while being human.
Carlisle - Basically, Emmett was a dipshit who was muscley and dumb.
Emmett - HEY! Hehe... Patrick star is my twin... Urghhh.
Carlisle - SEE! I TOLD YOU!
Do Vampire's have to wash their hair? Or even brush it?
Rosalie - I do but i'm wierd.
Bella - I do.
Alice - I DO! MWA HA HA HA!
Carlisle - Vampire's can if they want to but don't have to.
Alice & Bella & Rosalie - WHAT!?!?!?!?!?
Jasper & Edward & Emmett - Awesome.
Esme - Huh? Sorry i was keeping Jacob away from Renesmee.
Why is Alice obsessed with shopping? She says it's a 'hobby' but are you sure that's it's not a mental position she is in from her dark past?
Alice - What?
Jasper - I never thought of it that way.
Edward - Wow, Alice has a mental problem.
Alice - I DO NOT!
Carlisle - Hmm... Alice you are seeing a therapist this Monday.
Alice - But- But-
Esme - No but's. Otherwise NO CREDIT CARDS!
Bella - Wow, never knew that Alice had a proper mental issue. I just thought it was hobby.
Rosalie - NO ALICE! DONT TAKE MY CREDIT CARDS!
Emmett - Don't worry Rose, Carlisle's frozen them ages ago. But make sure she doesn't take the one hidden in your bra, it holds all of our money.
Rosalie - EMMETT YOU MORON!
Renesmee - What's this?
Bella - Renesmee, you better get off now.
At the end of Breaking Dawn, there could have been a fight but wasn't. Tell me why? All of my family wonders.
Bella - We wanted a happy ending, not one with guts and blood.... Sweet blood.... Blood.
Edward - EVERYONE IT'S CODE RED! GO GO GO!
Emmett & Jasper - Okay! Restraining her complete!
Rosalie & Esme - Renesmee's safe, she's at Jacobs.
Edward - NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Alice - What's happened Edward?
Edward - Renesmee's round Jacobs! It's a nightmare!
What would have happened if Bella chose Jacob?
Bella - I am NOT answering this.
Edward - Please?*Dazzling*
Bella - Okay...
Alice - Bella, what would you and Jacob have done?
Bella - We would have done what you and Jasper do every night.
Alice - OMG! YOU WOULD OF BOUGHT CLOTHES TO REPLACE YOUR SISTER-IN-LAWS UGLY CLOSET?
Bella - No... What?
Alice - Never mind.
Bella - Okay... o_O. Anyway, we would have done what Emmett and Rosalie do every ten seconds.
Rosalie - PUT MAKE-UP ON EMMETT AND PRETEND YOUR SHAGGING A GIRL?
Bella - What...
Jasper - The...
Edward - Fuck?
Jasper - SHIT! My twins a fucking lesbian!
Rosalie - I AM NOT!
Alice - Fine your not... Bisexual = Rosalie. :P
Rosalie - Screw you.
Why does Bella have awesome dress sense? I mean converses = cool. Jeans = AMAZING!
Alice - What. Did. You. Just. Say?
Bella - THANKS! I do it all myself, unless Alice finds me and redresses me.
Rosalie - Whoa, Converses and Jeans are in? I am so BUYING them. Come on Bella! Let's go to the mall before Alice comes after us!
Bella - Okay! Buy! Buy! (See what i did there?)
Alice - :'( *Crying* I'm going after them.
Jasper - Aww, Ali? Are you okay?
Alice - NO JASPER! I AM NOT FUCKING OK! BELLA HAS 'BETTER' DRESS SENSE THAN ME! THE WORLD WILL END!
Jasper - No it won't.
Edward - It might. Alice run after them! Before you kill us all! Also, don't kill Bella.
Alice - FINE! :P
Is Alice always so... Happy and Bubbly?
Jasper - Sometimes, only when Stephenie Meyers comes round our house to write about us.
Edward - All the other times she's...
Emmett - Emo.
Edward - Grumpy.
Jasper - Horny as hell.
Edward - Annoying.
Emmett - Shopping addict.
Jasper - Pushy.
Emmett - Pully.
Edward - Singing really gay things in her head.
Emmett - Basically, she's not like Happy and Bubbly most the time.
Carlisle - Hell yeah! Also she's quite closed.
What would happen if a vampire ate over one hundred bears for their hunt?
Carlisle - Nothing.
Rosalie - FATTY BON BATTY!
Bella - I dunno, I don't do it.
Edward - I have NO idea... EMMETT DONT DO IT!
Emmett - Oh...
Edward - NO EMMETT!
Emmett - Can I at least ask her?
Edward - Sure... Knock yourself out.
Emmett - But I can't.
Edward - Dumbass.
Emmett - Anyway, Rose can I try it?
Rosalie - What?
Alice - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Emmett - ?
Carlisle - ?
Rosalie - ?
Jasper - ?
Bella - ?
Esme - ?
Renesmee - ?
Jacob - ?
Quil - ?
Embry - ?
Sam - ?
Leah - ?
Seth - ?
Emily - ?
Angela - ?
Mike - ?
Jessica - ?
Lauren - ?
Eric - ?
Charlie - ?
Renee - ?
Phil - ?
Edward - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hey when did all these people get here?
Alice - I dunno! But Emmett, do it!
Edward - JUST DO IT!
Do all of the humans in Twilight know that your are vampires?
Edward - Yes.
Bella - They do because everyone in Twilight are vampires, they just get tons of make-up put on them.
Alice - Maybe plastic surgery.
Rosalie - They even let Emmett hit them.
Jasper - And they let Rose use her 'power'.
Rosalie - : I hate you.
Jasper - WOO!
If you could choose between Paramore - Decode and Muse - Supermassive Black Hole. What would you choose?
Jasper - Muse.
Alice - Paramore!
Jasper - NO MUSE!
Bella - Paramore.
Edward - Same as Bella, Paramore.
Emmett - Muse cos me and Rosalie have to...
Edward - STOP RIGHT THERE!
Rosalie - It's hard rock and we shag in time with it.
Edward - AHHHHHHHH! STOP IMAGINING IT!
Emmett - We're not imagining.
Jasper - EWWW! STOP SHAGGING THEN IT'S MAKING ME WANT TO...
Alice - JASPER! NOT NOW!
Bella - Edward?
Edward - Yes?
Bella - Can we?
Edward - Don't see why not, Renesmee's at school.
Girls, if you had to pick between Mike Newton and Eric Yorkie. Who would you shag?
Bella - Edward.
Rosalie - Emmett.
Alice - Jasper.
HEY! I said out of Mike and Eric!
Bella - Okay, we get it.
Rosalie - E.... Emmett.
Alice - M.... Jasper.
Bella - E.... Edward.
STOP IT! ANSWER MY GOD DAMNED QUESTION!
Alice - FINE! God damn it!
Rosalie - Mike, he would be excited and make it faster.
Bella - Eww! Ummm.... Can I tell you later?
NO!
Bella - ...
Alice - Eric. I'm like half his size so I would just give him a BJ and be done with it.
Bella - EWWW!
Rosalie - Wait? We can do that?
Yes.
Rosalie - Screw it.
Bella?
Bella - I DONT KNOW! *Crying*
Alice - HAHAHAHAHAHA! BELLA! YOU FELL FOR IT!
Rosalie - Alice, you was meant to say that after she answered. Not before.
Alice - But I dont like seeing her cry. She's my BFF!
Bella - Thanks Alice! Your my BFF!
Boys, choose between Angela or Jessica. Which one would you have sex with?
Jasper - Angela.
Emmett - Angela.
Edward - Angela.
How did you?
Edward - Mind reader.
Jasper - We also played this game before.
Emmett - Same people. Same game.
Oh... I feel stupid.
Why are Vampires pale?
Emmett - Because we don't like to get Tans.
Jasper - We don't like hot places.
Alice - We prefer cold places.
Edward - With TONS of Mountain Lion.
Emmett - And Grizzlies.
Rosalie - And Elk.
Alice - And... Deer.
Bella - AND PENGUINS!
Everyone - What?
Bella - Penguins.
If Alice and Jasper get divorce, what do you think will happen?
Alice - WHAT?!?!?!?
Edward - Nothing.
Emmett - Alice would get pissed as she would be able to see it happening.
Rosalie - Imagine that... Dibbs MARRIAGE COUNSELOR!
Bella - ASSISTANT MARRIAGE COUNSELOR!
Emmett - CLOWN!
Edward - PSHYCIATRIST! (Sorry if I spelt it wrong.)
Carlisle - PAPPA/DADDY!
Esme - MUMMY/MAMA!
Jacob - ALICE'S FUTURE BLOCKER!
All - They would go to Cullen Counselling. (BTW, might make something like that.)
How wouldyou react if I told you lot that your are fictional?
Everyone - WHAT?!?!?!?!?
Edward - I'm... I'm fictional? But everyone loves me and thinks I'm fit!
They still do.
Edward - Okay, i'm sorted. As long as I'm loved and fit.
Emmett - WOO! I'M FICTIONAL!
Okay...
Rosalie - What she said. Also, why? WHY? I'M SO SEXY!
Alice - Wait, so I'm not a pixie-vampire?
Jasper - So I'm not from the civil war?
Carlisle - I'm not a trained doctor?
Esme - I'm not a trained vampire mommy?
Bella - Wait, so i spent three books to become a vampire and NOW YOU TELL ME THAT I'M FICTIONAL? URRGGGHHHH!
But you are all real, in real life. People just play you.
Which actor do you think would play you?
Edward - Rob Pattison, what do you think Bella?
Bella - He's fitter than christmas! I say Kristen Stewart for me.
Alice - Yeah, she's like your twin.
Bella - That's because she is. Anyway, how bout you lot?
Alice - I have a friend who looks EXACTLY like me and is REALLY good at acting.
Bella - Who's that?
Alice - You know, the girl that has long hair. With kinda blue-grey eyes. She wears the brown contacts.
Rosalie - That Ashley girl... What was her last name?
Bella - Oh I know her. It's... umm... Greene!
Alice - I want Ashley Greene.
Rosalie - Ohhh, she would be awesome with Nicki Reed, my girl, and maybe Kristen would become friends with her.
Alice - Yer. Also have you heard, Kristen and Rob have been caught a lot lately seeing eachother.
Rosalie - Like a date kinda thing?
Alice - Yeah.
Bella - Oh, I wish I was her.
Rosalie & Alice - Yeah.
Jasper, Emmett & Edward - HEY! WHAT BOUT US?
Rosalie - Oh yeah, who do you lot want.
Carlisle - I want... that Peter Facinelli bloke. How about you darling?
Esme - That woman that was on Scrubs as Molly.... Elizabeth Reaser!
Jasper - Jackson Rathbone.
Yeah, he's fit.
Emmett - Kellan Lutz.
Jacob - Taylor Launter!
Edward - NO BAD DOG! DON'T MAKE ME GET THE SPRAY!
Jacob - :(
Rosalie - Anyway Jacob, he's TOO fit to play you.
Who's fitter Jackson Rathbone (FITT!), Kellan Lutz (Not as much.) or Peter Facinelli? (Hot! Not as good as fit.)
Emmett - Kellan! AND, HE IS SO FIT! JACKSON ISNT!
Yes he is.
Emmett - NO HE AINT!
Don't make me chase you.
Emmett - *Whimper*
Rosalie - Kellan, he looks like Emmett.
Bella - Peter! HE IS FITT!
Carlisle - Thank you Bella.
Edward - Jackson, I don't want to think that my dad's fit.
Jasper - So you say your brother is? Okay... o_O. Jackson.
Esme - Peter.
Alice - JACKSON!
Carlisle - Peter!
Okay so... 2-Kellan, 3-Peter, 4-Jackson.
All - WTH?
I choose Jackson, he's won. Anyone thinks different review and tell me who! (Only out of Kellan, Peter and Jackson. No Rob or Taylor ect.)
Why were you born?
Emmett - To have SEX with my SEXAAYYY wife!
Edward - To meet Bella, love her, marry her, kiss her, sh-
Emmett - Edward just stop. It's too... unusual! Stop!
Edward - Okay... o_O
Bella - To meet Edward and become what he is.
Esme - To love Carlisle and have Vampire kids.
Carlisle - To save the world with out endangering them... Kinda ironic.
Rosalie - Yeah sure. Mine's to be the prettiest in the world.
Alice - To see the future... JASPER HOW DARE YOU! AHHHHHHH!
Jasper - Mine's to control people's emotions and... CONTROL THE WORLD! MWA HA HA HA!
Carlisle - EMMETT! STOP MAKING HIM FEEL EVIL!
Emmett - It ain't me.
How you like? This was 20 questions I think. Well, I might carry on till a random number.
The whole one-shot thing with the Cullen Counselling thing. Yeah I'm gonna do it, maybe make it more than a one-shot. If it becomes a story it will be short! I PROMISE! Anyway, don't take my idea! Or... MWA HA HA HA!
Review, I need questions.