A/N: This is one i wrote a few weeks ago and wasnt too sure of it, but it grew on me and with the encourgement of Lisa i decided to post.
Disclaimer: Nope still not mine, but Christmas is only 5 months away lol
Hope you all enjoy:
He Left Me
It had just turned midnight when I stopped outside his place. All the lights were on and I saw the outline of a man standing in front of the glowing window. I held my breath and hoped that it was him but I knew it wasn't, my head and my breaking heart knew it wasn't him. Another figure came to stand in the basking light of the glowing window and that's when I got out the car and walked towards his apartment. I passed the first police car and the next 2 car were just like his, standard issue FBI black SUV's. I nodded at the 2 policemen stationed at the entrance and they gave me a sympathy smile. I hated those, had seen too many over the past few days, I didn't want a sympathy smile, I just wanted him.
I walked up the hall and stopped at his door, it was lying open and the apartment was swarming with people, most had on their FBI jackets. He would have hated to see his apartment like this, would have threatened to shoot them all if they didn't get out. I could hear his voice in my head and then he would give them that death stare of his that made most people quack in there boots. He would be proud I got that term right too, would have given me a smile, it wasn't like the smile he gave the rest of the squints or anyone; it was a smile that he reserved just for me, my smiled. It was just one of the many things we shared. That bastered, why did he have to go and do this to me, most people think I'm cold, heartless a few have said but when you have seen the things I have you learn to block it all out, but him, he made me feel things I never though I would, he made me feel like everything was going to be all right, he made me feel for him. And I never got the chance to tell him just how much I loved him. I think that is what is hurting the most, I am trying to go about life as normal as my cold, heartless self but I cant, its just… its just too hard to go on without him, he told me everything happens eventually but we never got to have the days out we planed, we never got to have our future together, that didn't happen eventually.
I stepped into his apartment and it was like one of those movies he made me watch because everyone just stopped and looked at me. I walked straight ahead with my head held high, I could feel their eyes on me and I knew what they were think, poor her, not only did she have to wait 3 agonizing days while her partner was missing but she also got sent his finger and then had to identify his body; it was that badly damaged that only she could. I walked into the living room and suddenly it looked different, it wasn't the living room we had spent many a nights doing paperwork in or watching movies or just hanging out as he would say, the whole place looked different. I turned round and noticed everyone was still staring at me. The looks on their faces made me want to cry again, and I couldn't, no wouldn't do that here, not here in front of all them. I started to walk towards the kitchen and could see the plate he had laid out for dinner that night. We were going to have takeaway and it was his choice that night which meant tai foo. I gently traced the outline of the plate with my finger and picked up the chopstick he had already laid out too. I was running late got caught up in traffic when they sneaked into his apartment; they shot him with a tranquilizer gun. He never stood a chance; it knocked him out in seconds. He had waited on me before ordered the food, so it didn't get cold if it arrived before me. I wish he hadn't then maybe the delivery boy might have seen what happened and we would have found him sooner and saved him, if I hadn't got stuck in traffic, if I had left work 10 minutes earlier, if I had taken a different route I could have saved him, instead he died cause I let him down, cause I didn't save him. I killed him. I could feel the tears pricking at my eyes and knew I had to get out of here but I couldn't leave, this was his apartment and I wanted to stay here, to be closer to him.
"Dr, are you ok" Agent Green asked me.
"When are you going to be finished in here?" I asked, I could feel the tears on my cheek and my voice was cracking but I still met his eyes.
"We are just packing up, will be out in about half an hour" Agent Green said.
He put his hand on my shoulder and I felt even more tears fall down my face. "I really am sorry" Green said
"Thanks" I said and quickly looked away, and then wished I hadn't as came face to face with a photo of him. His big goofy smile and his arm around me, it was from when we visited the zoo.
"Get out" I whispered
"Get out" I said a little louder and the room went silent, people stopped moving and turned to look at me. I looked at Agent Green. "Get out, I want you out, get everyone out. Now" I screamed and I could feel the tears streaming down my face. "GET OUT" I screamed at the top of my lungs.
"Just grab what you can and get out, and no one is to come back in" Green shouted as I grabbed the photo of us from the wall. Agents were running about like crazy grabbing all they could carry.
"Please just leave me alone, just please leave" I sobbed as I sunk to the floor, no longer caring if they seen me like this.
"Come on guys, just get out" Green said. He bent down a handed me a hankie. "I really am sorry" He said.
I couldn't see, there were too many tears, I just heard the door close and knew I was alone. I was alone in the world. Sobs racked my body and I sunk to the floor. "He's dead" I sobbed, "He's really dead"
A/N: The second part will be up shortly, so not hate mail lol