Title: In a Different Light
Author: Hermitknut
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Rating: U
Warnings: Slash. (no, really?)
Summary: A short scene from episode 2.4, "Lancelot and Guinevere", as seen wearing slash goggles.

Disclaimer: Not mine – belongs to the Beeb.

A/N: Due to the fact that when I'm bored I struggle to write anything, especially if I promised to, this is by way of an apology fic for being behind with "Edge". Unsurprisingly. I am working on it and hopefully it will be up before I go to bed tonight, but it may be delayed until tomorrow. Anyways, I hope you like this :)

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have risked your life like that."

Merlin looked at him. Swallowing, he shrugged and said nonchalantly, "Well. They do say love makes you do strange things…"

Arthur rounded on him.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why can't you just admit your feelings for Gwen?" Merlin burst out. Arthur started to walk away, but Merlin continued. "It's so obvious! A blind man could see it! Is it really that hard to admit you like her? Just say it!"

If there was a note of bitterness in his voice, Arthur didn't seem to hear it. He was looking away from Merlin, and even when he looked back he didn't quite meet his eyes.

"I can't. How can I admit that I think about her all the time? Or that I care about her more than anyone? How can I admit that I don't know what I'll do if any harm comes to her?"

Merlin's heart sank like a stone. He tried to ignore it. He'd seen this coming a long way off, he had – and he would not let his own idiocy get in the way. Arthur had to come first. So he bit back his feelings and spoke again, as casually as he could, trying to sound like a caring friend and not a pining, jealous idiot.

"Why can't you?" he asked quietly.

Arthur looked away again, not needing his eyes to see the dark scruffy hair and pale, smooth skin of his manservant.

"Because nothing can ever happen between us! To admit my feelings, knowing that… hurts too much."

There was a pause, and the two of them moved ever onwards towards their goal. And all the time Arthur knew with a deep ache that when they had spoken by the riverside, he had not been talking about Gwen. One day, he thought, constantly aware of Merlin's every breath and movement as they walked together, one day I'll have the courage to replace "her" with "him".