Please, put away the torches and pitchforks. I am super sorry for not updating Biting and Barking but I haven't had time to sit down and begin on the task of writing the next chapter. I know where I want the story to go but the words haven't come to me yet. School is being a bitch. I can assure you, June 1st, you will have my full attention for 3 full months. Please read and review these smaller stories that I've been popping out for the time being.
Dancing around her house, wiping the dust that'd collected in her long absence, Maura felt better than she had in months. Her energy was unexplained. She knew that if she tried to sit, the urge to move would be too much for her wired body. So, she cleaned, singing along to the music that poured from her stereo. Her chosen playlist was dramatic and filled with angsty songs, but she didn't care. She felt a familiar connection with the sad songs.
Searching for the Windex under the kitchen sink, she prepared to clean the inside windows of her home. The thin layer of grim refused to allow the waning sunlight in and that would not do.
It felt good to be home after spending 3 months in Africa. She refused to think about what forced her to leave the country for so long. Instead she focused on the people that she met and the lives that she saved. She saw Ian but their love affair had disappeared the last time he walked out of her life. They were no more than friends who used to have sex. At night, they would lie shoulder to shoulder and look at the stars. For the first 2 months, she imagined Jane looking at the same constellations, their souls connected across the world.
Jane.
The reason that she'd fled to Africa. The events of the warehouse replayed in her mind each night. But they were different. In her nightmares, her biological father turned his gun on Jane and fired, claiming the life of the dark haired detective. Waking up in a sweat, Maura could feel the remnants of Jane's blood on her hands. The washed her pale flesh raw, trying to forget the feeling of her best friend's life force on her body. Of course, those were not the events of that evening. Jane was not shot. Paddy Doyle was the one who took a bullet, as well Agent Dean.
Dean.
The thought of the wretched man made Maura cringe. She could not for the life of her understand what made her push Jane into his arms. Upon a later evaluation, she realized that he was in no way attractive. Under the suits that she'd often seen him in, was a disgustingly pale body, lacking all masculine qualities. How Jane had stomached sleeping with him, she would never know. While that is a harsh thing to say, she no longer had any sympathy for him. She learned from a friend in the F.B.I. that he was pronounced at the hospital. Maura felt no guilt for his death. He put himself in danger by break Jane's trust and showing up at the warehouse. Things would have gone so much differently had be chosen not to play hero fed.
But she could not change what happened. Nothing she could do would bring Dean back to life, not that she cared about him. She could not turn back time and stop Jane from raising her weapon to the Irish mob boss and pulling the trigger. She could not erase the pain that the Italian woman caused her.
Maura threw the used rags from cleaning the windows into the basket in the laundry room. Pulling the duster from its shelf, she paused her thoughts and listened to the song playing on her iPod.
I keep on fallin'
In and out of love
With you
Sometimes I love ya
Sometimes you make me blue
Sometimes I feel good
At times I feel used
Lovin' you darlin'
Makes me so confused
The meaning of the song struck her. Her first thought was Jane. Maura could not remember the exact moment where she fell in love with the dark haired woman but it was one night in Africa that she was willing to admit it out loud.
"What has changed, Maura?" Ian asked her, the hurt of rejection playing across his face.
"I'm sorry, Ian, I just can't anymore. Being with you in the periods of time that you are around is not worth the pain of when you leave every time." She explained to him, walking away from him.
"Is there someone else?"
"No…yes…no…I don't know. It's complicated."
"Is it Jane?"She turned on her heel and looked at him with confusion.
"What makes you think its Jane?"
"I saw how you were with her when I was in Boston. You seemed so happy around her. I've never seen you so joyful, even when we were together. I thought maybe you all were just really close, but when she walked into a room, you're eyes lit like a Christmas tree." She contemplated his response. Everything he said seemed accurate. Jane did make her happy. Her heart sped up whenever they were in the same room. It ached when they were more than an arm's reach apart. Ian looked at her sadly. "Are you going to tell me why you're here with me instead of there with her?"
"I'd rather not go into details, but Jane did something that I don't know if I could forgive her for."
"Is that why you're here?"
"Yes."
"Then, you're an idiot."
"What?"
"Maura, there is a woman in Boston who worships the ground you walk on. She would die for you. Anyone with a brain can see that. If you love her, you have to be willing to forgive her no matter what she has done."
I keep on fallin'
In and out of love with you
I never loved someone
The way that I love you
Oh, oh, I never felt this way
How do you give me so much pleasure?
And cause me so much pain
Just when I think
I've taken more than would a fool
I start fallin' back in love with you
Maura was pulled from her thoughts as strong arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her close. She leaned into the familiar body and sighed.
"What's taking you so long?"
"You know I cannot rest peacefully if my home is not clean. I am almost done. Go upstairs."
"Not unless you come with me." She held on tighter as Maura tried to squirm away. Defeated, she turned around in the woman's arms and planted a solid kiss on her lips.
"Jane, I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
"I know, it's just…"
"I made a mistake. I was stupid. And I will spend the rest of my life apologizing if I have to." They stood together in silence.
I keep on fallin'
In and out of love with you
I never loved someone
The way that I love you
I'm fallin'
In and out of love with you
I never loved someone
The way that I love you
I'm fallin'
In and out of love with you
I never loved someone
The way that I love you
"I didn't mean to kill him, Maur."
"I know you didn't, sweetie. I was wrong for blaming you. There were more factors that contributed to that night." Jane wiped stray tears on her cheeks.
"Don't cry. That's all in the past now. We have the future ahead of us."
"I love you, Jane."
"I love you too, Maur." She gently kissed her lover. "Now, let's go to bed."
"But, Jane-"
"No, buts. The only thing I want to see is your smokin' hot ass walking up those stairs."
"But-"
"March!" Maura scrunched her face and groaned."
"Fine, Ms. Bossy Pants."
"That's Detective Bossy Pants, to you."
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