Title: A Liar and A Thief: Stolen Moments
Series: Wild Adapter
Pairing/Rating: KubotaXTokito/T
Warning: Angst
Word Count: 1,146
Prompt: Wild Adapter, KubotaXTokito, Public Display-"It's not so easy if you want to disappear."
Summary: Introspective Angst-Kubota POV
AN: Sorry, it's late. I was out of town for the weekend without internet.
The throng of bodies never bothered me. I actually preferred it, being able to just melt into the crowd, another nameless, faceless non-entity to the world.
But not Tokito. He hated it. Clinging to my shirt like a life-line he'd press in against me, hissing at passerbys who dared to move into our personal space.
Our space.
That was one of our truths, no matter who or where, only I could get close to him and only he could touch me. Invade me and my no fly zone that even dogs were able to sense, but not him. He'd invade my soul and space like a waring country bent on total conquest.
Now if he'd only realize it.
These cords that bind us shimmer like newly-shed blood and I wonder if they're getting tighter or if the constriction in my chest is a sign of something more dangerous. Sometimes I sit there watching him, maybe he's playing a game or bitching about having curry for the fifth day in a row or maybe he's just sleeping. Balled up on the bed, head cushioned in my lap, arms and legs curled around me and I just breathe him in and think if he ever left I'd die. Cliché I know but I really don't think there's anything that would keep me here, keep me sane. He's my tether to this world as much as I am his. My one and only truth...with him I'm still human.
Still alive.
I sit here in the dark and watch him breathe, the steady rise and fall of his chest lulling me into a trace. Leaning down I brush my lips feather-light across his temple, fingers trailing through midnight hair and hold him a bit tighter to my chest, body folding around him, a vain attempt to shield him from the outside world which I know could barge in on us at any given moment.
So I steal these precious five minutes in time when I can just like he's stolen my heart, holding my memories and emotions. Feelings I thought long lost beneath the black plastic and glass obscuring my vision. I'm like a thief in the night and he's some precious treasure, a priceless work of art.
But I can't hoard him to myself, even if I want to. He's a child of sun like I am of moonlight, clouded and obscured by shadows. He thrives in the company of others. Fits in so effortlessly and even when he says something harsh, they accept it. Child-like wonder and innocence wrapped up in bristling needles. He's a butterfly, social and beautiful, dangerously fragile and sometimes yes, even poisonous.
Or maybe that's me.
Kasai accused me of being like the kid who wanted the new shinny toy everyone else has. He was wrong though, there is no one else like Tokito. He's as unique as they come. But yeah, I do want to have him. To hold him and possess him and keep him all to myself. I'm selfish in that way I guess.
When we go out, I try to stop by Kou's and have him look at his hand, but you know how cat's are, they don't like water and they don't like vets. One day Kou told me that he's my truth and downfall; that he would bring my ruin. I hope he's right. I hope he breaks down these walls that are wrapped around me like a second skin. I hope he smashes them to gravel with that claw of his, that he rends and tears the barriers around my heart with those teeth and that he sees through all my lies with those gold-flecked blue pools he turns on me.
I hope he breaks me completely.
I'm still selfish though. Still desperately clinging to him even though I appear aloof. I hold his hand in public, lean in close and say things so that people misunderstand. Or understand. I'm laying a claim every time we walk out of the apartment.
And he lets me.
He knows, maybe instinctively, maybe just because we've been together almost every waking moment for years now, that these small shows of public affection are my way of letting him live his life and still being a part of it, of protecting him.
Of loving him.
And even when we meet those that mean us harm, when we barely make it out a live, when they try and push in on our lives, our home, and our...us. When this happens and I'm ready to burn the world to ruin around us he'll turn from me and start walking home, his hands behind his head and glance back at me...
"It's not so easy if you want to disappear, is it, Kubo-chan?"
And I remember to breathe, he's here and we're together and no matter what happens that won't change, so I breathe, and take his hand and smile...
"We're right here, aren't we?"
And he smiles that blindingly bright smile that makes my heart stop and holds my hand a bit tighter.
"Yeah."
Yes, I guess we are. I guess we are.
Fin.
