Innortal writes some very funny fics, and one of the themes used is having certain well-known anime characters (Naruto, Bleach, Evangelion, Ranma) go through time loops of their lives, over and over, accumulating power, but simply screwing around to deal with the boredom of living their lives repeatedly. They are accompanied by some of their friends, but this doesn't happen all the time. Sometimes they go a Loop alone.
This is one of those times.
Author's note: This is an expansion of Innortal's Naruto Time Loops, Time Loops Chapter 6 (Chapter 12 in his fanfic), Loop Number 3. Read and enjoy.
Naruto blinked and looked around. Once again, he had started in another loop. And as always...
"Okay... next is Team 7." Iruka announced from where he was standing at the front of the classroom. "Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto..."
Next to him, Sakura's pink head slumped in disappointment. Naruto glanced around the class and sent out the weak pulse of chakra that only those who accompanied him through the loops would recognize and respond to. No one seemed to notice, that meant he was alone in this Loop.
"And Uchiha Sasuke." Iruka finished.
Instantly, Sakura's mood took a complete one-eighty, and she raised her arms in a loud cheer. On her right, Naruto was grinning broadly as well, though for a different reason that those looking at him would have guessed.
Great! Looks like I'm alone here. Now, what should I do... Naruto interlaced his fingers and began to plot. Oh yeah! There's that jutsu Ranma created!
Naruto had adopted a certain rule regarding acting in the Loops. When he was alone, he would enjoy himself as much as he could. It was similar to the vacation Loops the loopers had sometimes, but in this case, it was just to take advantage of being the sole person with various special powers at his disposal.
In his office, the Third Hokage Sarutobi Hiruzen suddenly felt a tingle go down his spine, and prayed that nothing bad would happen today.
After announcing the rest of the teams, Iruka dismissed them all for lunch, and Naruto snuck off to Ichiraku's for some ramen. The food of the gods never failed to inspire the best ideas in him.
Sitting at the counter, he called out his order. "One miso to start!"
The chef Teuchi nodded, smiling at his number one customer. "Got it!"
Let's see... Naruto pulsed his chakra again, to check for any late wakeups. Yup, I'm alone! Bwahahaha! Now...
He considered messing with his team, but he did that at least twice in the last ten loops, when only one of the two looped with him, so Naruto abandoned that idea. The next thing was to do something to screw with Kakashi, those were always fun, since there were so many ways to prank the one-eyed jounin, namely targeting his Icha Icha.
Like that time me, Sakura and the teme framed him with all those yaoi books. Naruto cackled, just as Ayame put the bowl of ramen in front of him. That was a great source of laughs for all of us!
He began digging in, slurping up his ramen greedily. Still, his mind continued to work at a furious rate. The last Loop involved a looping Hinata who REALLY wanted his bones, so he didn't feel like going after her this round... and the next two Loops.
"How about another 'Kyuubi escape'?" The fox in his gut suggested.
Naruto considered it, then shook his head. Nah, it's getting old. Give it another few more loops, okay? But now that you mention it...
"Sounds like you have a good idea, brat..."
The whole village... yes, that would be good... now, just how should I go about it... Naruto tried to laugh, but nearly choked on his ramen.
He postponed his planning to eat his ramen more carefully. Ramen was ramen, and thus more important.
His planning continued even after he returned to the classroom and the rest of the jounin instructors had taken away their teams, leaving him with the emo and the fangirl. Once in a while, Naruto would act up by making a fuss about how late their sensei was, keeping up his appearance of a loudmouthed idiot. Sasuke would ignore him, while Sakura would shout at him, causing him to quiet down until the next time.
But in his head, a fiendish plan was being concocted. He had the main idea ready, all that was left was how to apply it, when his chance to apply it would come, and then... see how far he could go with it.
Yes. Yeeessss... I remember now... that chance is the best one to play on. But until then, I have to remain under cover...Naruto glanced at the clock. Kakashi will turn up soon. Time for the ol' eraser prank.
"Again with that? I thought you didn't want to do old pranks."
It's not old, it's classic! Naruto argued as he grabbed the eraser from the blackboard and the teacher's chair.
"Whatever you say, brat."
Mentally grumbling about cocky nine-tailed foxes who didn't know the importance of classic, Naruto climbed on top of the chair and wedged the eraser near the top of the door, where it would drop down once the door was pushed further open.
"HEY! What are you doing, Naruto?!" Sakura shouted, and got out of her seat to approach him.
Snickering, Naruto jumped down from the chair. "That's what he gets for being late!"
"Geez..." Sakura groaned, hands on her hips. "I'm not involved, you hear?"
Up where he was seated, Sasuke snorted. "Pfft... like a jounin would fall for such a stupid booby trap."
This jounin does! Naruto thought, seeing a fingerless-gloved hand slide into the crack and push the door open, only to have the owner of that hand experience an eraser falling on top of his head. "WAHAHAHAHA! You fell for it, you fell for it!" He laughed, pointing at the masked face of Hatake Kakashi.
Behind him, Sakura tried to make excuses for herself, while Sasuke was in disbelief that someone actually fell for the trap.
Kakashi rubbed his chin, chuckling lightly. "Hmm... how should I put this? My first impression is..." He suddenly stopped chuckling. "I don't like you guys."
Same old Kakashi... it's always fun to shock him when we do something really outrageous... like the Flames of Youth act. Naruto repressed a shudder. That was a hard act to keep up.
"Meet me on the roof in five minutes." Kakashi instructed, and vanished in a Shunshin.
"Last one there is a gay emo!" Naruto shouted and dashed out of the room.
The other two genins could only stare after him, thinking, What the heck?
Predictably, Sakura arrived after Sasuke, not wanting to overtake her crush, thus robbing Naruto of the chance to call his rival a gay emo. Once they were all seated, Kakashi asked them to introduce themselves.
"About your likes, dislikes... your dreams for the future and things like that." finished the one-eyed jounin.
Mess with him? Nahhh... "Hey, why don't you introduce yourself to us first!?"
"Yeah," Sakura voiced her agreement, "You look kind of suspicious."
Kakashi's lone eye fixed somewhere over their left shoulders. "Oh, me...? Well, my name is Hatake Kakashi. I have no desire to tell you my likes and dislikes..."
That means he's a private person... Naruto thought, having learned the art of looking underneath the underneath.
"Dreams for the future... Hmm."
That means he doesn't think much about the future.
"And I have a lot of hobbies..."
Which are not for the likes of kids our age.
"So all he told us... is his name?" Sakura asked the two boys.
"Now it's your turn, let's start from the right."
Loudmouthed persona! "Yosh! My name is Uzumaki Naruto! I like ramen, cup ramen, but most of all Ichiraku's ramen! I dislike waiting three minutes for the cup ramen to cook, and emo temes." Naruto noticed Sasuke twitching, the other boy realizing that he was the one being referred to. "And my dream is to surpass all the previous Hokages, and have the people of this village acknowledge my existence!"
Naruto noticed Kakashi's eye narrowing slightly, but not in a hostile way.
"Hobbies... messing around with people through pranks, I guess." Just wait till you see what I've got this round!
Kakashi scratched his head. "Okay, next."
Sasuke spoke up from behind his hands. "My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I don't really like anything, but there are a lot of things I dislike. I don't really have a dream, but more of an ambition... the resurrection of my clan and..." His gaze darkened slightly. "To kill a certain man."
"That better not be me, teme." Naruto muttered as Sakura blushed in awe.
Sasuke ignored him.
"Okay..." Kakashi crossed his arm. "My name is Haruno Sakura. I like... well, the person I like is..." She clenched her fists in front of her face shyly, peeking at the black-haired boy sitting on her left. "And uhm... my dream for the future is... KYAH!"
Kakashi sweatdropped. Naruto, having encountered it many, many times already, just looked up at the sky.
"What I dislike... Ino-pig and Naruto!" She glared at the blonde.
Dislike you too, Yaoi bitch. Naruto thought towards the looping Sakura with a shudder.
"My hobby is..." Sakura trailed off.
"Stalking emo here." Naruto muttered, too soft for any but Kakashi to pick up.
"Okay! That's enough for introductions." Kakashi shifted his weight on the railing he was sitting on. "Tomorrow we'll start our duties as shinobi."
"Yeah!" Naruto sat up straight. "What kinds of duties!? I'm ready for anything!"
"First we're going to do something with just the four of us."
"What? What?" Here it comes...
"Survival training." Kakashi announced.
Naruto kept silent, as did Sasuke. It was Sakura who asked the question.
"Why is our first duty a training? We've had enough training at the academy."
"This isn't normal training." Kakashi replied. "This time, I'm your opponent."
After a brief silence, Kakashi began chuckling. It was an intimidating sound.
"What's so funny, Sensei?" asked Sakura.
"Uhm... well, it's just that..." Kakashi gestured with his right hand. "When I tell you this, you guys are totally going to freak out."
Okay, got to keep it natural... "Freak out? Huh?"
Kakashi's hand came up to cup the side of his face, casting his lone eye in shadow. "Of the twenty-seven graduates, only nine will become genin. The rest will be sent back to the academy. This training is a very difficult exam with a failure rate of over sixty-six percent!"
Naruto let his jaw drop open to express his (fake) shock. The other two stiffened as well, taken aback by this piece of information.
"Hahaha!" Kakashi laughed. "I told you you'd freak out..."
Three, two, one... "WHAT? NO WAY!" Naruto yelled. "We worked so hard! What's the point of graduating then!?"
Kakashi wasn't ruffled. "Oh, that? That was to select those who have the chance to become genin."
"Uhh... what?!" Naruto asked dumbly, playing up the image of an idiot.
The jounin's gaze drifted to cover all three of them. "Anyway, tomorrow you have to show your real skills on the training ground. Bring all the shinobi tools you have." He paused for a moment. "Oh, and skip breakfast if you don't want to throw up."
Naruto looked down, trying not to laugh. He had lots of practice doing that already. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that the other two were worried about the test as well, although Sasuke tried to hide it beneath a cool facade.
Kakashi got off the railing and pulled out pamphlets from his hip pouch. "The details are on these papers," He told them as he held it out for them to take, "And don't be late tomorrow."
Ahh~ There's that trolling character of his... Naruto deadpanned as he took one of the pamphlets.
Sakura was freaking out. "Throw up?! Is it that tough?!"
"Alright, you're dismissed for today."
Thanks to some of the special skills Naruto had picked up with his Looping, he could recall the very first time he went through this. Back then, he had trained late at night with a doll dressed like Kakashi hanging from his ceiling. It was a useless act, now that he looked back on it.
This time, Naruto spent the night creeping around Konoha, refreshing his memory of the village and its inhabitants, and scouting out the defenses. He had a large number of clones doing the same thing, enabling him to cover the entire village in the span of a few hours. Afterwards, he spent the last few hours organizing the memories in his head with the Occlumency he had learned at Hogwarts.
Just you wait, Konoha! Naruto thought before going to sleep.
That morning, Naruto ate a healthy breakfast, ignoring Kakashi's (false) advice, and turned up early with his full gear, which consisted of good quality stuff he had swapped our with the crappy stuff his haters dumped on him to sabotage his skills.
I could get tied to the posts like the first time, but I want to at least make some effort if I'm going to get punished. Grinning, Naruto created several Shadow Clones and sent them out to booby trap the place.
Sasuke arrived next, then Sakura, both carrying their backpacks. It soon reached eight, and Kakashi was predictably late... though only Naruto knew that. He made a fuss, then pretended to give up and went to take a nap, running through the plan in his head.
Eventually, it soon came to eleven o'clock, and Naruto was awoken by Sakura shouting, "YOU'RE LATE!"
"Hey guys, good morning!" Kakashi waved lazily, not bothered by the hostile glares his team was giving him.
Before Sakura could demand to know what took him so long and give him the chance to use one of his typical lame excuses, Kakashi slipped off his backpack and took out an alarm clock. He adjusted it, and set it down on a training post.
"Okay, it's set for noon." Kakashi reached into his pouch and pulled out two bells. "Here are two bells. Your task is to take these from me before time's up."
Good ol' bell test. Naruto thought, (Nostalgia wore dry after the first few times looping) Too bad I can't mess him up... or can I?
"Those who don't have a bell by noon get no lunch." Kakashi pointed at the three posts. "I'll not only tie one of you to the stumps, but I'll also eat right in front of you."
As if to emphasize his words, a growl emanated from Sakura and Sasuke's stomachs. Naruto clutched his and put on a suffering expression, concealing his own lack of hunger.
"You only have to get one bell." The jounin continued, "There are only two, so one of you will definitely be tied to the stumps." Raising the bells up to his eyes, Kakashi's eye narrowed darkly. "And... the person who doesn't take a bell fails, so one of you will at least be sent back to the academy."
"Well, that ain't gonna be me, yeah!" Naruto shouted, but his (faked) stiffness gave away his nervousness.
The dark mood around Kakashi vanished, and he continued talking in a flippant manner. "Well, you can use shurikens and kunais. You won't succeed unless you come at me with intent to kill."
"But... you'll be in danger!" Sakura objected.
Kakashi eye-smiled. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Now... when I say start, we'll begin."
All three genins tensed.
"Ready... START!"
Instantly, all four of them leapt away from their positions. Two of them went into the forest to hide, while the other two remained out in the clearing. Kakashi landed and ducked beneath a roundhouse from Naruto, who followed it up with a few kicks and punches, all of which were cleverly faked to seem amateurish, and were easily avoided. Finally, Kakashi distanced himself from Naruto, who watched cautiously as the man dug a hand into his hip pouch.
"Shinobi fighting lesson number one... Taijutsu. I'll teach you about it."
Then he pulled out an orange-colored book.
Naruto played the events out as before, asking about the book, and being told that it would make no difference, which he pretended to be annoyed by and rushed in to attack. That led to the setup for the Thousand Years of Pain...
"Huh?" Naruto seemed surprised that Kakashi wasn't where he was aiming.
"NARUTO! RUN AWAY!" Sakura's voice screamed from across the field. "YOU'RE GOING TO GET KILLED!"
"What?" Naruto turned to look.
"Too late." Kakashi's eye gleamed. "Hidden Leaf Ancient Taijutsu Supreme Technique: A Thousand Years of Pain!" He jabbed his joined fingers up Naruto's butt.
Only to hit crumpling paper. Paper with certain markings on it and a kanji for 'Explosion' in the center, and it was starting to hiss dangerously. The fiery blast was quite a thing to see, but Kakashi landed a safe distance from the site, only slightly singed.
However, the same could not be said for his book, which had flames burning at one end. Kakashi's eye widened, and he quickly patted it out.
"KAKASHI-SENSEI, YOU CHILD-MOLESTING PERVERT!" Naruto yelled from the place he had been hiding, watching his clone bait the man. "YOU AND YOUR STUPID ERO-BOOK CAN GO BURN IN HELL!"
It was a foolish move, revealing his position like that, but that was just what Naruto wanted. Still, there was no sense in letting Kakashi come after him, so Naruto vacated that position and moved somewhere else to hide.
The rest of the time was spent watching the other two fail miserably at getting the bells; Sakura fainting at a simple genjutsu made Naruto smile, while seeing Sasuke get dragged into the ground up to his neck made him grin widely.
Time to get myself tied up. Naruto snuck towards the memorial stone, where the lunches were. Come on, Kakashi!
Naruto placed his hands together. "Itadakimasu!"
Kakashi's presence appeared on the stone behind him. "Oi... what do you think you're doing?"
Thus, when the bell rang for the test, Naruto was tied to a post with Sasuke and Sakura sitting on either side of him. Events played out as they did originally; Kakashi telling them they were better off quitting being shinobi, talking about what the names on the memorial stone meant, Sasuke and Sakura feeding him in defiance of Kakashi's orders, Kakashi suddenly turning up telling them they passed, and finally telling them about the saying regarding teammates.
"Alright! Starting tomorrow, Team 7 will begin its duties!" The three of them picked up their bags. "Let's go."
Naruto began kicking frantically. "DAMN IT! I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN! UNTIE ME!"
They ignored him and continued walking.
"Fine then!" Naruto yelled at the retreating figures of his team, tied to the pole at the training grounds. "I don't need any of you! I'll go make my own team, maybe my own village!"
When his senses told him they were gone, hidden Kage Bunshin not detecting anyone nearby, the Jinchuuriki smirked as he used some Force to remove the bindings.
So far, he had played the Loop as if it was the original, as if he didn't have all those cool abilities, powers, or access to technology beyond this world.
Time for Ranma's jutsu!
Ranma had used a combination of magic, chi, chakra, Force, and several other paths of power to take Kage Bunshin to the next level: Doppelgänger. Even with the knowledge of how to do it, you needed to be able to pull off creating ten thousand Kage Bunshin. But they were more durable than a Kage Bunshin. In effect, you created a fully functional clone, disperses when dead or desired, could be used to create a 'mental network' of sharing information and such—something Naruto still couldn't quite do but Ranma insisted he had once covered the entire Federation with them.
You created a living being, a full clone that fought as well as you, as strong as you, and was self-sustaining—at least as much as any other being.
And now Naruto was going to use it in a Loop where no one else was 'awake'.
"Well, I did warn them."
He created five of them to start out with, and sent them off to cover for his presence in Konoha and prepare for the second stage of his prank. Then he Apparated out of there, a short distance outside the large walls surrounding Konoha, far enough that the patrolling ANBU would not notice him. There, Naruto began creating more Doppelgängers, letting them split off to help with the construction of the physical portion of his plan. Others pulled out wands and cast several wards to conceal the ongoing work from Konoha, while the five he left in the village set to work on hitting up the various targets he had lined up with summoning seals.
The materials for the buildings wasn't difficult, since there were a great number of trees that had to be cleared out in order to make space, and magic easily converted them to building material for use. Raising a mountain for a copy of the Hokage Monument was even easier; several Doppelgängers using an Earth Release jutsu did the trick. As for the walls, the only snag was that the copies of himself he had working on them kept getting sidetracked laughing at the oblivious ANBU patrolling the original version less than a kilometer away.
But eventually it was done. Every tile, stone, and plank in Konoha had been perfectly replicated into his own creation. From the Hokage tower itself right down to the secret hidden base of the ROOT, there wasn't a part Naruto missed out on. Few people would be able to tell the difference, and none of them existed within this Loop.
Maybe I should try this with teme and Sakura sometime... Naruto mused.
"That would mean less people whose minds you can screw with, kit." disagreed the fox.
You're right. Oh well... Naruto focused and sent out the message through the mental network that connected him to his alternate selves.
All across the Konoha replica, thousands of blondes broke out into grins as they used the Copy Cat technique, modified for visual effect. The original Naruto had a bit of a headache as multiple personalities came through the connection he had to his Doppelgängers, but it wasn't much of a problem. Once the village had been 'populated', they activated the seals back in Konoha, and the prank was complete.
Now he just had to wait for morning to come.
"Hokage-sama, we have a serious problem." An ANBU reported to the old man sitting behind his desk.
"What is it?" Sarutobi Hiruzen asked grumpily.
After working late at night to deal with the never-ending flow of paperwork, the last thing he had expected was to be roused from his bed after a few hours of sleep.
"Our food stores and supplies have been raided. There is nothing left."
"What." The Hokage said flatly. "I must be hearing things, because I thought you just said that we have no food left."
The ANBU kneeling there tensed slightly. "That is correct, sir."
"The warehouses? The Akimichi clan's stores? Our emergency supply located near the shelters?" demanded the old man. "Even those in this tower?"
"All of them have been hit." The ninja repeated.
The very idea was inconceivable. All of them were carefully guarded by ninjas, and some of their locations were top-secret as well. For every single one to have been targeted in the course of a single night spoke of long-term planning, as well as a possible leak in their security. Sarutobi felt the beginnings of a headache as he tried to think of a possible explanation.
"Is there any clue as to who may have done this?" He asked.
"None, Hokage-sama." The ANBU paused. "We've had Hyuugas and Inuzukas at those locations trying to find a lead, but none of them have found a thing." He admitted.
There was a long pause as both men tried to come up with something to say. But there was just too little to go on; as much as either of them tried, there was nothing they could do.
Sarutobi rubbed his forehead. "Someone stole all that food."
"Yes, Hokage-sama," said the ANBU agent.
"I see," he murmured. "Make inquiries to our suppliers. We need that food replaced. Double security in case-"
"Sir!" cried out a female ANBU member, appearing in the open doorway. "You... you need to see this."
The headache showed signs of turning into a full migraine. Grimacing, but recognizing the urgency in the woman's tone, Sarutobi got up and gestured for her to lead the way, with the other ANBU following behind as well. As they left his office, he questioned the new arrival on what had gotten her so flustered.
What he heard initially made him wonder what were his ANBU smoking. An outpost suddenly appearing on the outskirts of the village? There was no way his ninjas wouldn't have noticed its construction. But his experience at reading people told him that she was telling the truth, or at least believing herself to be doing so. The very least he could do was to take a look for himself.
"Get Anko Mitarashi. I want her there in case this is another of Orochimaru's plots." Sarutobi ordered. Have you finally returned for revenge, my student?
"Yes, sir." Another ANBU dashed away quickly.
As he headed towards the scene, the Hokage prayed that things wouldn't get any worse.
The faux-ANBU waiting on top of the high walls chuckled softly, watching their true counterparts scramble around in the distance. They had lowered the illusions and wards hiding their presence with the morning shift change, and the effect produced in Konoha's ANBU was astoundingly amusing. In the back of his mind, they received a notice from the clone left in Konoha that the Hokage himself was mobilizing, along with several ANBU and Anko the crazy snake lady.
He signalled to his partners to call their ANBU commander over, and continued to watch.
While ANBU Guard Naruto couldn't see anyone speaking apart from Anko (due to the Hokage's hat and the ANBU masks), their postures were easy enough to read. The old man was questioning his escort on the details of how the copy of Konoha village had appeared, and the substandard replies was getting on his nerves. And everyone in that group knew it.
"Are you telling me that over one night, someone constructed a whole village mockup of Konoha less than a kilometer from us and no one noticed anything until the morning?" bellowed out the Hokage, standing back from the new village's main entrance.
"We are not sure, Hokage-sama," said the lead ANBU.
"Yeah, great work," snorted Anko, there in case it was her old teacher doing this.
The ANBU commander arrived with a few more men. Thanks to their linked minds, there wasn't a need to ask for an update. Grinning behind his mask, the first ANBU stepped back to let his 'superior' take over. The commander nodded back, and cleared his throat to get the attention of those below.
"Perhaps we can be of help."
Blinking, the group looked up, spotting people dressed nearly matching the Leaf ANBU.
"And you are?" asked Anko.
"We are the elite guard of the Hidden Ramen village," said their lead ANBU.
"… Someone get Kakashi and his team. Somehow, I think Naruto is behind this."
All of the Narutos there wished they had a camera to record the deadpan look on Sarutobi Hiruzen's face, even as he gave the order. At least they still had Pensieves to view the memory in.
"Yes, sir!" Three of the ANBUs saluted and vanished, gone back to retrieve the hypocritical members of Team 7.
He turned back to face front. "In the meantime, I would like to ask just what is going on here. I request to meet your leader."
The Ramen ANBU Commander nodded. "Wait right there. We shall have an escort prepared shortly."
He gestured, and five Ramen ANBUs leapt down to the ground while one went off in another direction. Their hands were held at their sides to show that they weren't hostile, but not letting their guard down either. Similarly, the Konoha shinobis were wary, but made no moves to attack. Both sides studied each other carefully, though the Ramen troops were smirking behind their masks.
"What's this about foreign shinobi at our gates?" A familiar female voice demanded.
Anko's eyes widened, as did the rest of the Konoha contingent. Standing behind the Ramen ANBUs was a woman dressed in a fishnet shirt under a leather coat, and a short skirt. It was the same outfit worn by a certain snake mistress of Konoha, and the wearer looked almost the same, except for blond hair and whisker marks on the face.
"Just what sort of joke is this?" snarled Anko. "Are you one of Orochimaru's tricks?"
Ramen Anko snorted. "Orochimaru? That bastard? As if! Now, who are you and what are you doing here?"
"That's my question, bitch!"
"You wanna play, huh?"
"Oh, you bet I want to play!" Anko bit her thumb, and made a few hand seals. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"
"Anko!" Sarutobi snapped, but it was too late. A large plume of smoke appeared around Anko.
"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"
The old man's head snapped around to see a similar smoke cloud where the Ramen Anko had been. Even as he stared, the smoke blew away to reveal a giant brown-scaled snake coiled up, matching the one Anko had summoned.
"How can you summon snakes? That's not possible!" Anko demanded furiously.
"That's because I'm Mitarashi Anko. The snake mistress of the Hidden Ramen." Ramen Anko declared, a sadistic smirk on her lips.
Just what the hell is going on here? Sarutobi wondered feebly.
Kakashi answered the frantic knocking at his door, his hair standing up despite not wearing a headband. The knocker was one of the new ANBU recruits, someone he didn't recognize.
"What's wrong?"
"You have been summoned by the Hokage. Immediately. He is currently outside the village awaiting your team."
"My team?" The one-eyed jounin asked confusedly.
"Yes. Hokage-sama has called for your whole team. Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura are being summoned as well."
Kakashi picked up on the absent name right away. "Wait, what about Naruto?"
The man paused. "...perhaps you should hear it from the Hokage." He suggested.
Kakashi frowned, but nodded. "I will be there right away."
He closed the door and quickly got dressed in his uniform, and left through the window. Naruto, just what did you do this time?
At the gates, he found Sasuke and Sakura waiting for him, with ANBU escorts of their own.
Sakura was the one to speak. "Sensei, what's going on? Where's Naruto?"
"I don't know, but I think we're going to find out." Kakashi replied grimly. "Let's go."
"Hn." Sasuke grunted, but moved off with the rest of the group.
When Kakashi first noticed the copy of the village, he immediately pulled up his headband to expose his Sharingan, to check for any illusions. To his side, Sasuke breathed in sharply when he saw his clan's bloodline eye on his teacher. However, he could not ask about it yet, as someone else spoke first.
"It's not an illusion, Hatake-san." The nearby ANBU murmured. "Believe me, we've checked."
"How?" He could only ask, lowering his headband.
"We don't know."
They finally joined the rest of the initial Konoha group, and the members of Team 7 could almost swear they had went in a circle without realizing it, if not for the difference in the symbol on the gates, which was a bowl with steam rising above it. Kakashi was surprised to see another Anko standing facing the first group, looking almost identical apart from the blond hair.
Is that... Naruto? He pulled up his headband again. No, that's an actual body! But how? How is this possible?
The Hokage nodded to them, and turned back to face the Ramen ANBU commander. "We're ready."
The man nodded. "Follow us. We will lead you to our Ramenkage."
"Ramenkage?" echoed Sakura in disbelief.
"What has the dobe done now?"
"Quiet." The Hokage ordered, and they fell silent.
Surrounded by Ramen ANBUs, the group of Konoha shinobis entered the Hidden Ramen Village. It was a startling experience.
Sarutobi continued to stare in shock as his group—several ANBU, Kakashi, Anko, and Kakashi's team—made their way through the apparent Village Hidden in the Ramen.
Narutos.
Everywhere one looked, there were Naruto clones, each one dressed, hair styled, acting just like a counter-part in Leaf. He'd already seen Naruto-versions of Kakashi, Gai, and Hiashi Hyuuga, complete with Byakugan eyes.
Even the female form usually only seen in the Sexy Jutsu was done the same way for the female copies. I really need to sit the boy down for a long psychiatric evaluation.
Of course, they might have made the trip quicker if Anko and 'Anko' weren't glaring at each other.
And how the hell did Naruto get the 'Anko' Naruto to summon snakes?
"How did Naruto do all this?" asked Sakura. "I mean, he knows Kage Bunshin, but to this level…"
"This is beyond Kage Bunshin," said Kakashi. "These are actual bodies. I'm not even aware of any technique that can do this. Were it not for how things appear to my Sharingan eye, I would have assumed it was some form of genjutsu."
"You have not suffered enough, Sasuke."
The last Uchiha stopped, turning quickly as he tossed three kunai at the voice.
The figure wearing a black robe with red clouds casually deflected them, staring at the boy with Sharingan eyes.
"My mistake," murmured 'Itachi'. "I thought you were my brother, Sasuke."
"You'll pay for this, Naruto," growled Sasuke. "I am the real Sasuke Uchiha!"
'Itachi' raised his eyebrow. "Very well then, you shall suffer as I have planned for my brother.
"Now then," he said, reaching into his robe. "Who would like to see pictures of Sasuke being potty-trained?"
"DIE!" The mask of ugly rage on Sasuke's face was almost enough to make the watching Narutos break down in laughter.
"Hey!" came out a very familiar voice. "We don't allow fights like that in my village!"
The group looked up, spotting what they thought was their Naruto.
"Are you the real Naruto?" asked Sarutobi.
"I'm Naruto-0 if that's what you mean," stated the blond. "See, Jiji; I made my own village! Ain't I cool!"
Goal: bankrupt Leaf. Teach them to leave me behind. MWA HAHAHAHAHAHA!
This time, Naruto had a camera to capture their expressions.
And that's my version of Innortal's time loop! There are sequels to it, where Naruto continues to run his Hidden Ramen Village, ultimately sending his own genin teams to Konoha for the Chunin exams, including one of the Sannin team as they were in their youth, all to screw with the minds of the Konoha villagers. I'd write that, but I have no idea how to go about it.
So this is my supposed drabble. Had to get it out of my mind. I doubt I'll write anything else for this collection for a while, but who knows?