Haha! Ah... so random. Disclaim: I own nothing. Song by Billy Joel, Manga by master Kubo.

Renji's uptown girls.

Sereitei was deserted. No one was in sight as far as the eye could see. Not a sound could be heard on a peaceful Sunday morning, at six A.M. so what did Lieutenant Abarai of squad six do?

He took a shower. Peeking around the corner to ensure nobody was in sight, he stealthily snuck to the company showers, his maroon bathrobe swishing around the door and out of sight.

As the steam filled the room, Renji started singing, drunk with the freedom of not having to share the shower room with anyone this morning. He pulled his hair loose and started with a , "woah woah woah oh oh ohhhhhhh!"

"Uptown girl
She's been living in her uptown world
I bet she's never had a back street guy
I bet her momma never told her why-''

He rocked his hips a little bit, getting into it.

"I'm gonna try for an uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am!"

He put a towel around his waist, and grabbed his toothbrush, singing into the cracked mirror.

"And when she knows what
She wants from her ti-i-i-me,
And when she waaaaakes up
And maaaaaaakes up her mi-i-i-nd"

He was a bit louder now, although totally ignorant at this point. Not that it really mattered, his voice was surprisingly good.

"She'll see I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love with an uptown girl
You know I've seen her in her uptown world
She's getting tired of her high class toys
And all her presents from her uptown boys
She's got a choice

He carried on with the "woah woah ohhhhhhhh!!" until the steam cleared, and he stood there in a pair of boxer shorts with purple monkeys on them that looked suspiciously like Zabimaru. This time he was dancing in front of the mirror, holding his hair brush. His wet hair swung back and forth violently, flinging drops of water onto the already smeary mirror.

"Uptown girl
You know I can't afford to buy her pearls
But maybe someday when my ship comes in
She'll understand what kind of guy I've been
And then I'll win"

And when she's waaaaalking
She's looooking so fi-i-ine
And when she's taaaalking
She'll saaay that she's mi-i-ine

She'll say I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love
With an uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am

Byakuya Kuchiki was a respected and feared man. He prided himself on being cool and composed in all situations. However, this morning he heard a commotion coming from out side the bathhouse, and headed that way before everyone in soul society gathered there.

To his (slight!) Shock and amazment, he found a rather large group of people peering thourgh a knothole outside. Over half of them were nursing nosebleeds, and the remainder were on the ground rocking with laughter. Imperiously, Byakuya swept them aside, taking note of a few of the faces, ( such as Rangiku, Ikaku, Yoruichi, Yumichika, and that captain from the 8th devision whose name he could never remember)

He squinted through the hole, only to see Renji dancing in his underwear, and singing in a deep baritone directly into the hair-dryer while his long, red hair was blown straight back.. That's when respected, calm, collected, Captain Byakuya hit the floor, doubled up with laughter

"Uptown girl !!
She's my uptown girl !!
You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl !!"