Warnings: A LOT of swearing, SLASH, and Angst.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, just the OCs and the plot.
Just to clarify, the character Chuck is suppose to be Charles (Chucky) Kaplow in HSM. He was the dance choreographer for the movies, I only know this because of that one HSM2 commercial, and if you look back at their dance scenes, you will clearly see him as the short guy with his faux hawk. He's credited as a basketball dancer and I didn't know what his name was in the movie so I'm using Chuck.
"I'm leaving mom!"
I turned my head to see if she would respond.
Nothing.
Guess she just dozed off, or maybe she didn't hear me. It was expected, but I guess I was just hoping she'd change her mind today. My foot was out the door, but my mind told me to try again.
"Mom! I'm leaving for school!"
Nothing.
I sighed and let the door slam against it's frame as I quickly left the front yard.
Ever since the incident she stopped talking to me. Was she angry? Sad? Confused? I wished she would just tell me if she was disappointed or angry with me just so I knew instead of needing to guess all the time.
...always guessing...
I blinked my eyes and realized that the bus was here already, the engine roaring me out of my thoughts, and I saw that I was the last to board it. I entered it and quickly got into the closest empty seat. I hated when things did that. Break my train of thought and suddenly I was angry at the bus itself.
It's like waking up from a strange dream that you only stay asleep for to see how it ends, but then you're pulled out suddenly, you open your eyes and you're awake. You never see the rest of it, never see how it ends, it's just a major cliff hanger. It's stupid, I know, but I really like my dreams and my thoughts. They're mine and I wouldn't want anything to take them from me.
Suddenly, I laughed. Laughed at how stupid I was, being angry at the bus. I mean, it's a bus. It didn't mean to interrupt my thoughts, let alone steal them from me. I quickly apologized to the vehicle before laughing again.
"Wow." came a voice.
There were a lot of noises going on in the bus, but the only reason I responded to this one voice was because I could tell it was directed at me.
I looked up and saw Ryan freakin' Evans looking over the seat in front of me with a... with a.... actually, I couldn't tell what retarded face he had on. I absolutely hated this kid, if you couldn't tell, especially his sister. Why? Well... well, I'll tell you why. The kid has a knack of hinting how bad an outfit is. From small snide remarks to the usual looks I get whenever I see him in the halls.
...kind of puts a downer on my day. Sometimes I'd just try to avoid him, sometimes I try to tell myself I don't care, but then I do.
Ugh... what does he want now?
"Do you always randomly laugh to yourself when no ones around?" He asked.
"You're here aren't you?"
"-when you're sitting by yourself." He corrected, rolling his eyes.
"Yeah. Why, you have a problem with that?"
"Maybe... You going to keep laughing to yourself randomly?"
"Yes."
"Then I do have a problem with that. I sort a, you know... sit in front of you. I can hear everything you say."
"Well, too bad then." I said turning my eyes away from him.
He returned back to his seat. "Fine."
" Fine." I added angrily as I crossed my arms and tightened the fists I had in both hands.
I quickly got up and decided to see if there were any other available seats nearby, but during my search the bus driver yelled for me to sit down through her intercom.
Before I sat down I realized that the only other open seat was Ryan Evans'. I saw him staring out the window when a thought occurred to me.
Where was his sister?
I've heard of the twins from everyday conversations before. Everyone always mentions how rich they are, all the expensive crap they have, that they'll be in movies, and that they'll be big and we should get their autographs before they become famous, but the biggest and most common of all the conversations will always talk about how close the two were. They did everything together. Musicals, theater shit, and even classes. I had Geometry Freshmen year with the two and they always stayed in the corner, keeping to themselves almost the entire year.
It was very strange to see a single Evans sitting alone on a bus.
…
….. wait.
Why was he taking the bus? Didn't he have a car or something?
I was about to get up and ask him, my curiosity taking the best of me, when suddenly I remembered how stuck up he was. I shook my head, my mind slapping me in the face for even thinking about talking to an Evans without them starting it.
It was unheard of... it was-
"You're mumbling..."
I looked up and realized the voice came from the seat in front of me again.
"You okay? Because I'm not a doctor or anything but... I'm pretty sure talking to yourself isn't exactly what you'd call sane."
I wanted to pummel that little face of his into the leather seat, and I think I would have done it, but then the school bus came to a sudden halt.
I glanced outside and saw that we were at school already, the bright red of the entrance shining back at me.
"Go see a psychiatrist... You'll need it." He tossed a card over the chair. I caught it and read that it had a Doctor's name and a number.
I glanced up, ready to say something, anything to retaliate, but he had left his seat already. I watched as the white of his hat disappeared into the small crowd getting off the bus. My mouth let out a deep breath before I got out of my seat, my mind unconsciously placing the card in my pocket. He wasn't going to ruin my first day as a Junior. For all I care, he could sit on the bus and be alone for the entire year and I wouldn't give a damn about how either of them were abnormal.
My feet finally found their way off the bus and I made my way to the cafeteria. Soon I was walking along the steps to where me and my friends sat every day, but when I got there I was surprised to see that Joyce and Michi were standing up, Joyce furiously looking at our table. The second I got close enough to see, I immediately knew why.
"Get off our fucking table! We had this since Freshmen year, go find another one!" She was yelling at a group of guys who stayed stationary at our table, their smiles and smirks told me that they were enjoying Joyce's yelling.
They wore bright red jerseys with white lettering.
...fucking.... jocks...
"C'mon Joyce... They're not going to move..." Michi was already trying to get her to leave.
She simply shrugged Michi off. "No, fuck that!"
The table full of guys started to laugh at how angry Joyce was getting. I quickly got up there and asked Michi what happened.
Michi's voice was shaking, her taking every other chance to make sure Joyce was still standing next to her as she explained the situation."When I got to the cafeteria Joyce was already here and saw me. She left the table to give me a hug and when we looked back at our spot there were at least four guys sitting there. Joyce has been trying to get them to leave since."
I turned to Joyce who seriously looked like she didn't care whether she started a fight or not. I could tell by the smugs from the guys at our table that they didn't mind brawling either.
"Joyce... C'mon, Michi's right. We shouldn't-"
Before I could reach out and grab her arm, she was running at the table. One of the guys had blew her a mocking kiss.
"Joyce! wait-"
The guy with his back closest to Joyce turned towards my yelling and received a face full of fist from her. He fell backwards out of his chair and landed on the supporting rails of the floor level.
"You fucking bitch!" His face turned red from where she had punched him. Joyce was about to knuckle the next guy that stood up when someone, an outside party, stepped in.
"Chad, Chad stop!" He was facing the boy who stood up, holding him back before turning to the table, "What the hell are you guys doing??" He had brown hair, blue eyes and wore a red #14 Wildcats jersey.
It was Troy Bolton... East High's golden boy.
"We were just sitting here and this girl comes and tries to steal our table from us!" Chad protested.
"I was not-" Joyce started but was interrupted.
Troy turned to her "Hey, hey now," Chad started talking but he cut him off too,"don't start. I saw it all. You guys swiped it from those two girls, and now you are all going to leave before you are all kicked off the team!" his voice was a mix of warning and anger.
"Coach wouldn't-"
"He? Who said he would. I'll do it myself if I have to. This isn't what Wildcats do, not to our own kind. Get off the damn table. Now."
A few of the guys started to leave but Chad seemed still in his spot, both boys staring at each other as if a silent war was going on in their eyes. After about a minute, nothing happened and Chad turned and followed the rest of the team to a different table. A very vacant, empty table that no one was using.
I heard Troy sigh before turning around to us, an apologetic face planted on those clear eyes of his.
"I'm sorry about that guys... they can be real-"
"Jerks? Assholes? Fucktards?" Joyce finished for him, already taking a seat at the table.
His eyes followed Joyce to her seat."Yeah... all of that. Sorry again." When he looked back at me and Michi, I watched as Michi jumped in and give him a hug and a small kiss on the cheek before hurrying over to the table.
I think I saw him shudder a little bit before I laughed and made my way to join my friends, not wanting to impede any unwanted contact to Troy from me. I think he had a big enough thank you already.
"Hey, you're Nate... Nate Bain, right?"
...or maybe not.
"Um... yeah." I said, turning around to face Troy.
"I had you in P.E. last year... I was going to ask you something but I think my mind just blanked out the question whenever I had the chance." I didn't respond, my mind trying to see whether or not I was in the same P.E. class as him. Too bad my brain was almost wiped clean of last year. Troy must of seen this because he added, "Erm... you know... you were always playing ball with me- uhh, us whenever it was a free day?"
An image flashed into my mind of Troy passing me a lay up into the basket before my face made an 'oh' expression. "Oh! Yeah, that was what? A few weeks before school ended? Sorry, can't really remember anything before summer."
"Yeah, we did a few two on twos."
Suddenly there was a small silence save for the cafeteria's white noise before I realized maybe I should say something else.
"Erm... uh, those few weeks before summer were great with all those um.. free days, yeah? I think Coach didn't care for the rest of the year as long as no one got fat."
Troy laughed so I laughed to. Both of us died down after a few seconds before silence engulfed our space again.
Why the hell was this conversation so awkward?
"You were going to ask me something?" I added before my mind decided to just walk away without another word.
Troy was looking off in another direction before he returned to me," Oh! Right, that's right. Haha... there goes my brain again... just shutting down like that. Uh... Yeah, well you were great during P.E. last year and I was hoping that you... that you would try out for Basketball this year. Well, that is... if you're up for it?"
Wait what?... He actually thought I was good at basketball? Haha.. that's a nice one... Did he hit his head on a rock or something? Maybe he needed to see a psychiatrist or...
The thought reminded me of what Ryan said on the bus and anger brought my eyebrows to narrow at a spot on the ground.
"...guess that's a no." I heard Troy say, his voice fading a bit.
"No, no-" I started, my head shaking off the last thing on my mind," I was just thinking-"
"Well, I hope you were," he had a mused look on his face," I asked you a question and I wouldn't want you to give me an answer without thinking about it." A smile formed on his face and I was able to see those famous cute buck teeth that I once remembered Michi telling me about.
"Uh- forget about how my face looked earlier. It had nothing to do with basketball. Um... let me think about it some more."
"Sure! Take all the time in the world, but try outs are this Friday and I wouldn't want you to over think the decision and miss it."
"Okay."
"O....kay then... um, yeah. See ya later?" He offered me a hand that I assumed I had to shake.
I took the hand, "Sure."
He let go of it and waved."Bye."
"Bye." I said, giving my own wave back.
Troy then walked off and I turned towards our table, a laugh almost leaving my mouth. I think it looked like I was smiling because of the obvious question Joyce asked me when I sat down.
"Why the hell are you smiling?"
"Uhh- nothing. It's... It's nothing."
"Oh man... That Troy Bolton..." I glanced at Michi and found her staring behind me, I assumed she was looking at Troy as he walked away.
"eww-Ugh! You think he's hot?" Joyce said, disgusted.
"Why, you don't?"
"Hell no."
"What about you Nate?"
My eyes widened and I ran over to place my hand over her mouth.
" ...Michi!!" I warned, my tone as low as possible. "Not at school...please."
I heard her mumble something through my hand so I took it off.
"Okay, okay. Sorry." She had an apologetic face.
"My brother failed last year, remember?"
"Your brother failed?? Wow... I totally thought you were free this year."
I sighed. " ....nope. Apparently all that yelling that happened over Summer, the ones that I was telling you about, was my brother telling my parents how he was denied like a whole year's worth of credits and needed to retake his Senior year."
"Can't he just take summer classes-"
"Already did. He still needs like four more or something after taking summer school."
I glanced at Joyce and saw that she was shaking her head. She hadn't said anything since I stopped Michi and I thought it was about my brother but what she said had nothing to do with him failing. "You need to tell them, you know. Your parents and your brother."
"And get kicked out, shunned, abandoned and never to be seen again by my family? Fuck that."
"You could always live with me!" Michi cheered.
"You could always live with her..." Joyce added.
I rolled my eyes. I knew they were just helping me, but it was far from being helped now.
"So..." Joyce started, and I hoped she would change the subject.
"...did you go with your parents to that anti-gay rally?"
….fucking....
I kept my head down, my eyes not wanting to look up at any of my friends.
" ...well??" She forced after getting no response.
"What was I suppose to do Joyce! Not go?!"
"Yes!" Her fists hit the table," That would be a hell lot better then betraying people like you!"
I shook my head, but... She was right.... She was always right, no matter how much of a bitch she could be some times, she always told the truth.
…I've always resented her for that, but I know some day I'd thank that truth spewing mouth of hers.
"I... I know that Joyce... My mom and dad were there and well,... It's just... It's just-"
"Hey guys."
None of us saw him till he was sitting in the open seat across from me. I turned and found an almost perfect brown faux hawk staring back at me.
"Hey Chuck." Michi greeted, walking over to give him a big hug.
"Hey Michi!" He smiled through the hug before making eye contact with me. I turned away, my mind telling me that I just didn't want to ruin their greeting and it wasn't because of the guilt lining the walls in my chest.
"So, how was your summer?"
" It was great! I got to see a lot of Las Vegas in the last like... two weeks. Oh, Did you hear? There's snow! There's snow in Vegas!!"
"...you only texted us a million times about it... And Mt. Charleston doesn't count." Joyce added.
"And how are you Joyce?" He asked turning towards her.
Before she could answer, Chuck brought her into a hug.
"Ahh!" She was brought a few inches off her seat before Chuck dropped her down. She laughed a little before properly getting up and giving him a hug.
"I missed you guys."
Joyce pulled apart enough so she could talk to him,"That's what happens when you leave for the entire fuckin' summer Chuck."
"Well... I was here a week before summer ended..." His eyes drifted and looked back at me again and I almost regretted looking up to watch the two.
I guess Michi saw how I wasn't making a move to greet Chuck because she whispered something to me.
"Aren't you going to go hug him?"
Apparently Michi didn't know how to whisper because Chuck responded for me, "It's okay Michi, I met him a couple days ago. In fact, he was thankful enough to bring his entire family with him."
Michi and Joyce's eyes widened. I just tried to keep my eyes down.
"It was so thoughtful of him... and his mother has the most wondrous set of vocabulary... and all for me! What was it that she said? Uhh, I think it was that hell was reserving a seat just for fags and that-"
"Okay, I got it Chuck!" My voice got caught up in my throat, small shudders shaking my voice from how cold my hands were feeling.
He didn't stop though. "-that I was a dirty piece of shit and that I'd get AIDS and die. I love how everyone associates gays like that."
"I'm sorry Chuck!" I felt a coldness in my face. At first I thought I was sweating, but no, I realized I was crying.
"Oh, sure. One little sorry is going to make up for-"
"Chuck, that's enough." It was Joyce this time. I knew this because Michi was patting me on the back and the voice had come from across the table.
I heard him sigh before taking his seat at the table.
Thinking that he stopped I tried to stop crying, Michi's patting was truly helping me calm down.
"...your parents are just something else..." I heard Chuck mumble.
Before I knew it I was running away, the tiles under my feet shadowing the calls from the table.
I didn't know where I was running to but the first place I thought of was someplace no one went to, some where I thought no one would see me cry. I had to admit that I was also worried someone would over think my tears and see who I really was.
That's when I found myself running to the only empty place I could think of.
The fucking theater...
I found a spot in the crowd chairs and took a seat on the floor. I leaned against the back of a chair and pulled my knees up to my chest.
I've never cried this much over something before, but I felt I needed to. No, I didn't feel like I needed to, it was required or else I'd lose all my other body functions. Chuck's been one of my greatest friends since the beginning of High School. Why you may ask would someone I've only known for two years may have more significance then say someone I knew my whole life?
Well, because I didn't need to have known Chuck my whole life, because the second I met him I felt like he knew everything about me. It was because he was the first person to ever tell me he was gay and that he's been going through so many of the things I've been going through. He tells me that I had it worst though, because of my brother always being there, me not even allowed to be openly gay at school in fear that he'll find out and tell my parents.
He had tried coming out to his own parents, which sounded like a great idea at the time... that was until he told me the reaction his mom and dad had. He stayed over at my house for the weekend, my parents not knowing he was gay and thinking it was just a friend sleeping over. He ended up living with his older sister who, on a weekly basis, tries to talk to their parents.
They never did change their stance on the subject.
Now, here I am. A year and some months from that day and I'm at a rally against gay marriage that my parents helped organize with a few of their committee members. It was in response to our state having sent a bill about gay partnerships.
With no surprise there was an opposing rally and standing in the crowd was Chuck. He dropped the 'Equality for all' sign in his hands the second he saw my family. Then his eyes laid on me and I could see, could feel how torn he was on the inside. My parents spotted Chuck before I got a chance to direct them somewhere else and they were furious that I had been friends with someone gay.
I tried explaining that I didn't know anything about it and then they asked about the sleep over. I kept saying that nothing happened and that I wasn't gay, that I wasn't gay, that I was not gay. They bought it after the tenth time saying it but when I turned, I saw that Chuck was still within earshot.
I think his heart was somewhere on the ground by then. I wished I went to pick it up before I followed my parents to City Hall.
I stayed completely quiet for the rest of the day, Chuck's eyes seemed to be forcing it's way through my skull and my heart felt like it's veins were spreading acid. I hurt my closest friend in ways I wished I could only imagine.
I cried after the rally, not even trying to call Chuck. To explain what happened that day.
Then I realized that he was right. Today when Chuck told me that a sorry couldn't fix it, he wasn't lying.
A simple sorry couldn't repair what I did to him and I wished for all the money in the world that I could take that day back. Wished that I could tell my parents that I couldn't come, that I was sick or that I lost my voice or that... or that....
...or that my friend is gay and I am grateful, not ashamed or disgusted by that. That I was also gay, that this was who I am. That nothing in the world could possibly change this fact of my life.
If only that was possible.
"Wow... you really do mumble a lot."
I nearly went into a coma from how fast I got up from my spot, the back of the chair knocking out the few braincells I had left.
Standing over the coma chair, his white hat no longer covering up his blonde hair or his blue eyes, was one Ryan Evans.
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