She's the girl you can tell anything, right?

No, I still don't have another chapter of Ralph and Sam. So, you get this instead.

They were at Bueno Nacho again, Kim with her salad and Ron with his Grande-Sized lunch platter. Kim could tell Ron had something on his mind, since he had only eaten three chimirritos so far. Apparently, he wasn't ever going to say anything, so Kim would have to force the issue. She was getting bored watching him eat, anyway. She didn't wonder any more how he could manage to stuff half a pound of food into his mouth at once. She'd given up on that little mystery sometime in the 7th grade.

"Okay, Ron. What's the sitch? You can tell me anything, you know that, right?" Kim asked the next time he swallowed. Ron looked down at the table for a moment, then looked up and blurted it out. "KP, I'm tired of being your beard!"

Ah, so that was it. Kim had wondered how long they would be able to work this. "Ron, you know how much I appreciate everything you do for Shego and me, but I hate making you have to live a lie." she said, sadness in her voice as she put her hand on his arm. "I understand. We'll just tell everyone we were better as friends."

"No, no, that's not it", Ron said. "I mean, it's slammin', dating the captain of the cheerleading team, not to mention the hottest girl in school. And a hero and all." Kim smiled at that. "It's just... Well, I mean..." Ron attempted to continue. He was not having much success. After rubbing his hand through his hair for a while, and trying to look anywhere but at Kim, he finally came out with it.

"Okay. You and me and Shego go out, and we act like you two are just friends, and then every chance you get, you're feeling each other up and making out. The other night, when you pulled her into the bathroom for 20 minutes and had me stand outside and tell anyone who came by that you two had food poisoning? I know what you were doing. I could hear you! I think the whole restaurant could hear you."

Oh. Oops. "Ah, okay. Sorry about that. We can show some restraint?" Kim tried, hopefully, her face flushing to match her hair. Damn. Shego had better never hear about that. She'd have them doing it in every bathroom and janitor's closet in Middleton.

But Ron wasn't done yet. "I mean, I hear you two having those orgasms like you're in a porno movie, and by the way, KP, I did not know you had such a set of lungs on you, and anyway, it's hard for me. So to speak. Heh. And you two go off to the lair or wherever, and I go back home, and, well, it's frustrating." Ron's face was now approaching the color of Kim's.

Rufus popped up from the dish of nachos and waved his paw back and forth in front of his waist a few times. "Jacking off!"

"Rufus!" yelled Ron.

"Ron!" yelled Kim.

"He has pictures!" chittered Rufus, as he dove back under the nachos.

Ron took one look at Kim's livid face and leapt out of the booth with all of his mission-honed speed.

"RON! Come back here! I'm gonna KILL you! And then I'm telling Shego, and you're really going to die!" But Ron was already out the door, leaving the traitorous rodent to fend for himself, in a fruitless attempt to escape an undoubtedly horrible punishment.

A/N:

This one of the first things I wrote, going on a year ago. It all started because the line "KP, I'm tired of being your beard!" was stuck in my head and wouldn't go away. Since no one else seemed to be writing it, I decided to try doing it myself. This is what happened. I'm sorry.

Disclaimer:

I own nothing Kim Possible related. You should know this.