HANATARO THE THERAPIST
CHAPTER 1:SOI FON'S THERAPY
Author's Note: My very first fanfic, so I hope you that ya bear with me and enjoy it!
(two people throw Soi Fon into the room)
Hanataro: O-okay, w-w-we're ready to start!
Soi Fon: Took you long enough
Hanataro: A-anyways Soi Fo-
Soi Fon:(talking rapidly) Okay why am I here! I don't need to see a shrink!-
Hanataro: Actually I'm a therapist
Soi Fon: (scary craaaaaaazy looking face and still talking rapidly) I'm perfectly calm! See! I'm calm enough to ring that fat head of Omaeda's because he's the one who put me in HERE!
Hanataro: Oh come on! You couldn't possibly be sure!
Soi Fon: -_-
Hanataro: (Blows a "who am I kidding" Rasberry) Bpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbp! Okay, so it was. What are you going to do about it? Now on to another subject.......(sees NOBODY THERE) Oh,...SHI-!
(on to Omaeda......)
Omaeda: Hoho! Now that my Captian is gone, I'll do whatever I want! Lets see here, .....I know! I'll bully my squad... then, uh um, shirk off my duties of a leutinant, and um, and I will abuse my power and harass people! Juuuuuuuuuuuust as soon I get another snack.
Soi Fon: Start running Omaeda. Run..... for ...... your life.
Omaeda:(Craps in his pants) jchahddbahdbdidsah!
Soi Fon: 1...2...3...4...5...6... Okay screw this! Bankai! Jakuho Raikoben(Thunder Immortal)!
(almost killing Omaeda and destroying Sereitei later.....
Hanataro: Okay, what have we learned after this incident?
Soi Fon: That we should always never leave Omaeda alone and the next time he goes corrupt he dies?
Hanataro: H-heavens no! The other lesson.
Soi Fon: (rolls eyes) Alright mister poopypants! That we shouldn't randomly go on rampages, even though it did more good than harm.
Hanataro: (Annnnngggrryy!) Oh come on! With your Bankai, you accidently purified a quarter of Rukongai citizens! You have to be blind and deaf to be that stupid!
Soi Fon:(pretending) What did ya say? I can't see you, you wobbling bastard!
Hanataro:*-*
Soi Fon: What can I say Therapist, I'm difficult to please
Hanataro: That is so true. BUT, we still haven't discussed the other topic so let's start and be mature about this like civilised
beings!(speaking through the intercom)
Soi Fon:(looks like a derangeed lunatic) Bring it on! Whatever you throw at me, I'll kill it with my zanpakuto!
Hanataro:(dramatic music playing) Why do you like black cats so much?
Soi Fon: (anime style fall) You ask me that question?! For the love of Y-
Hanataro: I repeat my question
Soi Fon:(looks annoyed)Alright, don't get your pants in a bunch. Mostly it's because they look beautiful with their irresistibly sleek and glossy fur.....
Hanataro: Are you kidding me?! That's all, no obbsession over anybody who can turn themselves into a black cat, specifically Y-
Soi Fon: Say her name, you die.
Hanataro: Okay okay, I think I want to keep living so that I can continue to help people.
Soi Fon: You better
Hanataro: Y-yes mam