Title: Hearts on Fire
Author: Aldysgal
Rated: M
Timeline: Post season 4 episode 5
Keywords: OutlawQueen
Summary: Sometimes no matter how hard you try to deny it; the heart wants what the heart wants.
Authors Note : This is my first try at an Outlaw/Queen fanfic after quite a long time away from fanfiction altogether and is thus unbetaed until I can find a new one... so you've been warned.
Chapter One
The night was quiet and still, as Robin made his way through the trees in the darkness. After hours of tossing and turning, he'd given up on sleep and retreated into his beloved forest. His mind, in over drive, constantly rationalizing how he should have rejoiced in the fact that Marian had somehow found her way back to them. Instead all he could think about was how her return had only proven to complicate and confuse everything in his life. . He had loved her once, long ago, but now his heart was betrothed to another. He had only remained with her because he had made a vow and his code held him to honor it, but it was Regina who held his heart, whose absence left him restless and wanting. Still his love for Regina only complicated the fact that Marian lay frozen, once again on the brink of death and because he's heart no longer belonged to her he was useless in all attempts to save her. The guilt that accompanied that truth was overwhelming.
Seeking solace in the familiar, he roamed through the forest, hoping to lose himself in the crunch of autumn leaves beneath his boots, the bustle of the wind through the tree tops, and the comforting aroma of pine and wild flowers. But even his forest held nothing now but memories of Regina; the fallen tree where he'd found her obsessing over Rumple's note to Cora, the large rock where she'd first entrusted him with her heart, the campsite where she'd first kissed him, changing his life forever. She was woven into every aspect of his life, every thought, every memory over the last year and half. His heart ached with her absence, the loss crushing him like nothing he'd ever known. Releasing a heavy sigh, he moved deeper into the forest hoping for areas yet to be explored, some place sacred only to him, a place to immerse himself in memories he no longer tried to escape, but allowed to wash over him.
The moon traveled across the sky, peeking through the tree tops, its somber beams cascading into the darkness illuminating small patches of forest all around him. When at last he stopped moving he found himself standing before a single stone structure, cradled in a patch of trees, bathed in moonlight. He stood for what seemed an eternity just staring at the dirty, white pillars that guarded the large, stone and wood entranceway, wondering when he'd given into his persistent longing and changed course.
Warily, as if approaching something utterly forbidden, he gave into his desire and inched closer. With each step, his heart thrummed against his chest, the crunch of fallen branches beneath his boots announcing his presence to anyone lurking in the darkness nearby. When at last his foot fell upon the first step, he paused. 'She's not even inside' he thought trying to justify his unconscious decision to come here in the quiet hours just before dawn. He hadn't come to ask her for anything. His intention was simply to feel closer to her, to surround himself with items she deemed important enough to keep safely hidden away. Feeling somewhat vindicated by the idea that his presence wasn't really going to hurt anyone but himself; he climbed the last few steps and placed his hand on the door. It felt cold and heavy against his palms as he pushed it slowly open and stepped across the threshold.
The room around him was cloaked in blackness except for a thin, glowing line that encircled what could only be a door at the bottom of the shadowy, stone staircase before him. He froze instantly his eyes locked on that tiny streak of light. 'It couldn't be. She couldn't possibly.' He rationalized. 'Not at this time of night.' His heart quicken, his pulse thrumming against the collar of his vest. His mind, demanding his retreat, was instantly at war with his heart, who although quieter in its request to remain, begged him to stay, to seek out its missing piece in the depths below.
Torn, he remained unmoving for what seemed to be an endless eternity, his eyes fixated on the small shimmering ray of light. Every inch of him ached with the incessant need to be near her, to hear her voice, to look into her eyes just one last time. He had tried to stay away, but her presence in the world was like a beacon in the darkness calling him home. Without even realizing, he'd moved forward his feet lingering on the last step. His mind once again a flutter of thoughts and emotions, he took a deep breath trying to find peace in the chaos, but without her there was no peace, no happiness, without her there was nothing.
No longer able to fight he desires he moved slowly across the threshold into the lower chamber, his heart pounding, his eyes searching. There she was perched upon an old leather trunk, a book in her hands, her soft dark tresses cloaking her eyes as she read. She was beautiful, perhaps the most beautiful creature he had ever known, and he was drawn to her like a sailor to a siren in a stormy sea.
"Regina," he whispered, her name slipping from his lips like a secret, breaking the silence that lay between them.
She lifted her head slowly and in the candle light he could see the shiny remnants of lost tears that still lingered on her alabaster cheeks. She took a deep breath in, bringing her hands to her face to wipe away the evidence of her sadness. "Robin, what are you doing here?" she asked softly, looking everywhere but his eyes.
"I… I just…" he tried to explain but couldn't find the words.
"Is everything alright?" Concern dripped from her voice with every word.
"No, nothing is alright." He said softly, clenching his fists at his sides to resist the urge to reach for her and wipe away her tears.
"Did something happen to Marian? Or Roland?" She questioned, placing the book in her hands aside.
"Marian is the same, and Roland is back at the camp with Little John. I couldn't sleep, so I took a walk and I..." He began
"You shouldn't be here." Regina interrupted, still unable to meet his eyes.
"I know." He replied looking at the ground.
"I told you if you want to save Marian, you have to forget about me, about us." Every word cut like a knife in her heart as if fell from her lips.
"You're right, but that doesn't change the fact that my heart brought me to you. I was out walking in the forest, trying to figure out what to do, how to fix this, and my heart led me here."
"Robin," She whispered, heartbroken, finally looking up to meet his eyes. "You have to save her, you have to forget…about me."
"Don't you understand, Regina, I can't. I can't forget about you. It would be like forgetting a part of myself."
"She's your wife." The word burned like fire as it slipped form her lips.
"But you're my heart." He confessed, moving a step closer, his eyes searching hers.
Regina closed her eyes the beauty and pain of his confession washing over her like the tide. "Robin" she spoke softly.
"I know that saving Marian is the right thing to do, but knowing that doesn't change the fact that I'm in love with you or that I don't know what to do."
"You have to find a way to forget about me and to fall back in love with your wife." Regina bit out desperately. "You have to save her, it's the only way."
"I can't just fall back in love with Marian!" he raised his voice in frustration. "Don't you think I've tried? Don't you think I would have saved her if I could?"
"Of course," Regina said surprised by his response.
"The fact of the matter is that I can't give her something that no longer belongs to me. You hold my heart Regina, you and you alone."
"Stop! Just stop, can't you understand that it's killing me, that hearing about your conflicted heart, that knowing that you're still in love with me is torture." She screamed back, rising to her feet.
"I'm sorry." Robin said quietly, clenching his fists more tightly to his side. "I truly am, but that doesn't change the fact that it's true."
A single tear escaped her glossy eyes, rolling its way down her cheek to freedom. She shifted her glance to the floor knowing that she was losing control, knowing that this it was the first of many that threatened to fall.
"Please Regina, there has to be another way." He whispered giving into his need and inching closer.
"I told you, I've done everything I can think of, every spell book, every potion, everything. I can't save her."
"Perhaps that's the problem." Robin contemplated aloud.
"Well finally, we agree." Regina replied bitterly, turning away from him to hide the hurt on her face.
"Regina," Robin called out and on instinct reached out and grabbed her wrist.
She paused as the electricity pulsed between them where his hand held her wrist. It was the first time they'd touched since Marian's return and it brought both wanting and frustration.
He knew he should let go but he couldn't, not now, not ever. Instead he pulled her gently back around to face him, his fingers lightly stroking the softness of the skin beneath them. "You told me once, that true love is the most powerful magic that exists."
"Which is why you need to forget me and figure out a way to fall back in love with Marian," She explained, trying to pull away again. "So true loves kiss can save her."
"Even if that were possible, even if I could forget you and somehow found a way to fall back in love with Marian again, I still wouldn't be able to save her."
"Of course you would."
"No I wouldn't because she's not my true love, you are, and whether we're together or not doesn't change that. You said it yourself we were destined to find each other. Tinker Bell foretold it and pixie dust never lies."
"Robin…"she began for the first time really meeting his eyes.
"The truth is that separately neither of us can save Marian but together… together we just might have a chance."
"And then what? She's still your wife." Regina asked unable to keep the heartache from her voice.
"Honestly, I don't know. But I will find a way to fix this Regina. I promise you." Robin let his fingers slid gently down her wrist until they entangled with hers.
To be continued...