A/N: For those of you who know my writing, don't expect this to be your normal LadyWeasleyy piece of work. I have the entire plot planned out, and I intend for it to be crazy (not AU exactly, but a funny to read just because you need a pick-me-up), and something to make your heart feel. I love reviews, and always take time to reply. I usually mention the people who reply in my next chapter. Want a cameo? Leave a review! xD -- Mitchie
Chapter One: Dear Bachelorette…
Dear Hermione Granger,
We hope you'll be pleased to know that your application has been accepted with great enthusiasm, and we cannot wait for you to be on our show, "The Bachelorette", where you will be the girl for our seventh season. A hugely popular show, there will no doubt be plenty of hopeful guys joining you on the show, and we can only hope that this will allow you to find your true love, as the show was intended to do in the Muggle World, and now in the Wizarding World.
Next week, we'll move you to our rented hotel, located in a town in a more rural area of Britain, just outside London. The day after you arrive, your twenty-five Bachelors will join the group, each getting paired up and sharing rooms. Your room will be on a different floor, as you would probably hope. Be aware, however, that there will be cameras almost the entire time you're on the show, but don't be camera shy, Miss Bachelorette. You will be asked to give commentary at the end of each show, talking about what happened during the week, but you'll not see anything from the show if we can help it. Whatever our cameras catch out of context is just for the viewers, and you needn't be trouble with their comments or the situations, as they're probably not put in a good light. We don't want you to be wary of certain people because of the way the cameras catch them.
We could tell you all this when we see you, but we figure it'd be best to get it out of the way, and we apologize for anything we may have left out. We suggest watching the current season on WizNet at our website.
Again, we're very excited to get to meet you, and we're sure everyone will love you.
Hermione stared down at the letter in her hand. An owl had just flown in and dropped it off. She read the signature, and didn't recognize it. Was someone pulling a prank on her? The only person crazy enough to make her do this was Ginny Weasley (Weasley of course being her Maiden name, not her middle) Potter, her long time best friend and the current Hogwarts DADA Professor.
Hermione huffed aloud, and made her way to her fireplace, picked up a handful of Floo Powder and yelled, "Potter Residence!"
"Hermione!" Ginny screeched, surprised yet excited. "What brings you here?" She asked after catching her breath. She had been sitting on the floor with little James, playing a game, when Hermione had spun into the room, sending soot around.
Hermione wordlessly held up the note, and Ginny raised an eyebrow, standing and walking over. She read the note and looked even more confused.
"You signed up for that?" Ginny asked, surprised at the idea.
"Ginny!" Hermione sighed. "Of course not! I assumed you signed me up." She said the last part rather slowly, embarrassed.
"No, I didn't. But I would be the one to do something like that, wouldn't I?" She asked, giggled to herself a bit.
"Indeed." Hermione agreed. "Is Harry home?"
"Yes, let me get him." She said, then walked towards the stairs. Hermione, expecting her to walk upstairs and attempt to find him, jumped when Ginny shouted, "HARRY!!" as loud as she could.
Harry came bounding down the steps when he saw Hermione, and gave her a fierce hug. She hugged him back, but as soon as he stepped away, she held up the letter.
"Oh." He muttered.
"I knew it." Ginny grumbled. "Why'd you do that Harry? You didn't even tell her?"
"Look, it's not that I want to embarrass her, or take the Mickey out of her on WizNet or anything, but she's been alone too long. I think she's forgotten what it's like to have a guy love her." He said, then blushed, seeing that Hermione was still standing there, looking annoyed. "You know, Ron didn't mean to hurt you. He really didn't. He just knew that neither of you really loved the other, and didn't want to drag it on, when you could both go find someone who really made each of you happy." Harry said, sounding overly sympathetic.
"I don't need you to pity me. I can have a pity party all by myself, thank you." Hermione snapped. "Now, why did you have to meddle? What if I just say I don't want to go?"
"Well.. You kind of can't." Harry frowned.
"Excuse me?" Hermione questioned threateningly.
"You're kind of stuck." He said, ducking a bit, as though afraid he would hex her. She let out a breath, and he knew she was starting to accept that nothing could get her out of it. "I already got you out of work. It's summer, so they said you can start your break early and come back early." He shrugged. "Besides, I know some of the guys who're going to be on it, and I think you'll really like them. Just.. don't take it too lightly Hermione. At the end you either ask one to marry you, or you ask to continue dating them. I think it's different from the Muggle Show, but I'm not sure. Anyway, don't just pick guys randomly. Except at the beginning of course.. When, it's kind of, "Um… you?" You know?" Harry said wisely. Ginny laughed at his last little comment, especially since he'd acted it out. James had now crawled over to Ginny, and she picked him up.
"I'll go.." Hermione said, "Because I have to. But that doesn't mean I'm going to marry anybody on there, you know."
Harry shrugged. "Eh. I tried."
-HPHPHPHPHPHP-
"Mr. Malfoy? Letter for you." Draco's house elf, Hindley, squeaked, popping in during Draco's dinner.
"Oh?" He asked, looking up. Draco's parents were in the Manner now (Lucius was under house arrest, and Narcissa was basically trapped as well, with nowhere else to go. At times, she would go visit Draco, however), and Draco owned their seaside cottage in Kent, from which he could travel easily to the Ministry, where he was in charge of the Potions department. Needless to say, his house was cozy and convenient, and effectively kept him from thinking of the Malfoy Manner, where he'd grown up in fear and anguish.
"Here, sir." Hindley handed him the note, and he stared down at it.
"Hindley, could you contact Blaise and Pansy and get them to come visit me? Tell them it's not a request." Draco said, frown lines creasing his forehead, eyebrows pulled together angrily.
"Yes, sir." Hindley said, then disapparated with a pop.
Not five minutes later, Blaise and Pansy appeared, looking confused. They were both dressed up rather fancily, Draco noticed.
"Did I interrupt your date?" He asked, annoyed.
"Actually, yes, Draco." Pansy no longer called him those ridiculous names. She had matured, and Blaise had obviously noticed.
"Aww, so sorry." He said sarcastically. "I just thought you should know that I've been invited for some bloody TV show thanks two, and I quote 'very good friends of yours'."
"Oh. That." Blaise said awkwardly.
"Look, Draco, you've been cooped up here, and at work. You need to get out and live a little. Where's the old Sex God Of Slytherin attitude?" Pansy questioned, albeit teasingly.
"He's grown up." He frowned. "Unfortunately."
"See, you miss it. Just.. Go. You're kind of being forced to, you know. Magical binding and all. You've got off work, and it's no problem. You've changed a lot over the years, and if the girl is somebody we know, they'll see the new you. You hardly even look like yourself, to be honest. And not in a bad way." She winked. "Anyway, whoever it is would be lucky to have you. Just keep telling yourself that. If she's not interested at first, get to wooing. The point is to win. You may not have to even marry her. The point is to have fun while you can, and make sure the other guys don't." Blaise raised his eyebrows at her in shock.
"Look, mate, I know who the Bachelorette is. Just.. Don't kill her, okay? It wouldn't look good. Plus, it'll be on TV. Cameras everywhere. I'm just saying, show her you've changed. You'll probably not like doing it, and she'll not like being around you." He said bluntly, "But.. you have no choice on going or not, and you don't want a girl you've known forever to kick you out right away because of how stupid you acted before."
"The information should be in the letter. If you don't mind, we're going dancing." Pansy added impatiently.
"Fine. Only because I have to, though." He said to himself. "Who the heck was he talking about, anyway?.." He trailed off, and after a minute, began nibbling at his food again.
-HPHPHPHPHPHP-
The next week, Hermione apparated to the Hotel, and checked into her room, paranoid about the kinds of guys who would be on the show. Harry said he knew some of them? He probably didn't, and just said it to get her to give in. Not like she had a choice, thank you Magic.
"Miss Granger, I suggest you get a good night's rest. After all, the contestants arrive tomorrow, and it will be the first time you greet them. You want to look your best. We'll have our stylists here a noon." The director must have seen her worried look, because he added, "Don't worry. It's only for the first and last day. The rest, you can look as.. grungy," He gave her a once-over, and she frowned, blushing, "as you want, dear."
Hermione glared at his back as he walked away, before taking a shower and heading to bed early with her favorite new book, which happened to be by a Muggle Author (not that Hermione, of all people, minded, of course!) named Suzanne Harper. "The Juliet Club" was technically a teen book, but she couldn't hardly put it down since she started reading it on the way over. She wondered what her Bachelors would think of her reading choices.
Without letting herself think about that too much, she decided she just needed some sleep, and she could catch up on her book tomorrow if she got bored before the ceremony. She then wondered what, if not roses, she would be giving out as a "you get to stay" present.
With these thoughts in mind, she turned off the lights, closed her eyes, rolled onto her side, and fell asleep.