What's up? So hehe, this is my first fanfic. My first Yaoi, my first EVERYTHING. I still don't know how I am gonna do this, but I just kinda needed to get this out. Uhm, Gosh, I'm so nervous. Alright. I wanted to say something: English isn't my first language, so there might be mistakes. Please tell me if you find one. I'd be really grateful.

Uhm, this is an experiment. I don't know if I'll ever finish it. It depends on the reactions I get. Review, please?

Ah and 43905802 thanks to my friend and RP partner Erin, who readed it and told me to go on. Thank you sweety, it meant a lot 3.

Enjoy and review, please! :D

M.

"I will never forget you"

I take a deep breath as I stare down at the black nothingness that is Karakura's river under my feet. I shiver—it's cold. I am currently clinging to one of the posts that keeps this bridge from falling into the deep and cold water underneath them. That cold water in which I wish I will be drowning soon. I close my eyes. My hair is clinging to my face, orange locks nearly the colour of mud because of the rain that is falling today. I slowly let out the deep breath I'm holding in and try to focus in his last words.

"I will never forget you"

What an asshole.

You left me, Grimmjow. And there's no way you're coming back. Because you are dead. Dead. Like my eyes. Like my heart. I'm sure it stopped beating the moment your father spoke those words to me.

"I'm so sorry, Ichigo."

Another fucking asshole. He could have saved him. But he didn't. He was too busy with his new cute girlfriend to see what his only son got himself into. Fucking gangs. If I wasn't about to die, I'd go kill that motherfucker who did this to my boyfriend.

Ah. The pain. Dammit, I told myself not to say that 'b' word again. Well, I guess this will pass soon. The emptiness. The black hole consuming every bit of myself. The dark circles under my eyes. My now skinny and disgusting body. The stingy sensation of the cuts on my wrists as the water washes over them.

It will be over soon. And then I'll see his face again. His blue hair, his grin, his beautiful eyes. I'll have his arms embracing me again, pulling myself together, filling the void in my soul that died with him.

I guess it's okay to think a bit of our relationship. I smile, the first time in what it feels like years. As the corner of my mouth moves up, a salty tear I didn't know it spilled tickles my cheek. I promptly rub it away. No tears. No crying. No thinking.

But...

The first time we met...

I still can remember the first words he spoke to me.

"What the flying fuck are you doing, Kurosaki?" I opened my eyes to the darkness, and a frown appeared on my face. What on earth... Ah, yeah. I was in class. I lifted my head. I fell asleep in the middle of class. God dammit. My frown only deepened when I saw those fucking blue eyes. Too blue. Fuck.

"Shut the hell up, Grimmjow. It's none of your business." I snapped with a husky voice. What time was it? How long had I been sleeping...?

Oh, did I ever mention how much I hated him at first? Like, truly hate. I couldn't stand him. His blue hair, his grin, his ugly blue eyes. Ugh. I couldn't fucking stand him.

I glanced at the too empty classroom and rolled my eyes, huffing as I sat up to retrieve my bag and head home.

"Well, I just asked so it is now. You were asleep two hours ago when class ended, and now I come back from a fucking detention and see you still sleeping. Do you ever sleep at night?" He was too close. Fuck, Grimmjow. Why were you so interested in me back then? Every time I think of how I treated you...

Yeah, I was the one who hated him. He was somehow, and I will never understand why, really interested in me. One day I asked him, after our first time being intimate together. He told me it was my hair and I scoffed. Oh, God. Do I regret that one too?

"Fuck off; I don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone already!" I shoved him away. I still remember reading hurt in those blue eyes that rivalled the sky. But then his expression turned back to his usual smug smirk and I was pissed again. I couldn't hear his reply, but I was sure I really didn't want to.

Damn blue haired asshole.

I went out of the school and headed home. Every step I took, my scowl only deepened. Going back to my house, and then what? It was empty. Mom died five years ago, my father was a retarded prick that hid his pain with childish behaviour, my 11-year-old sister was the fucking mother in my family and my other sister was almost as empty as I was. She didn't tell me. But I knew. We recognize each other, you know? The empty people. The others tell us we're 'depressed', we're 'sad'. But that's not what is wrong with us. We don't have anything inside. Yeah, I know that it sounds wrong, but back then I couldn't give two shits about that. I laughed. I went out with my friends. I fucked girls. I was happy. But I was empty. Like my sister. Like my father.

Like Grimmjow.

By the time I reached my house, Yuzu was already making dinner. It broke my heart seeing her like that. A fucking house-wife at age 11. Disgusting. I dropped my bag at my room and told everyone I wasn't gonna eat tonight. I wasn't in the mood.

Suddenly, my phone went off. What the hell? I stared at the screen. An unknown number. I usually ignore them, but I was curious. It was a text. From a number with too many 6's.

'Yo, Kurosaki. I'm gonna win yer friendship. I don't care what you think ;)

G.-'

Okay, what the fuck. I wasn't retarded, you know? I knew who that 'G' was. That damn blue haired asshole. Now, what the fuck did he mean with that? 'Win my friendship'? Who did he think he was talking to? I'm not a chick. I considered simply ignoring him, but I was bored. So...

'Fuck you, Grimmjow. I don't want your friendship. How did you even get my number? Leave me alone, or I'll call the police.'

I went there. Oh well.

'Aw, but then I'd be bored. C'mon, Kurosaki. Why do you hate me? Nobody hates me.

G-.'

'Because you're an asshole. That's why.' I didn't even know why I hated him so much. It was like that since forever.

'Come out with me this Saturday. I'll make you change your mind. Or are you too scared of me?

G.-'

Okay, fuck you, Grimmjow. Kurosaki Ichigo isn't scared of shit.

'Fine. But I'll leave if you get too boring.' I didn't reply to further messages. I just ignored him again.

I remember taking my shirt off and throwing myself against the bed. And then sleeping.

Yeah, this was gonna be an interesting week.