Since injecting himself with Tardigrade DNA, Paul Stamets had experienced various effects on his mood. These swings were most profound after a jump. He always felt invigorated and in a more pleasant mood after jumping, but sometimes, just sometimes, the spores would elevate his mood just a little extra. Some days, when he stepped out of the chamber he just felt horny. He and Hugh always had an active sex-life, they were in tune with each other's bodies and needs, but some days the extra boost from the spores just made him crave the essence that was Hugh.

He remembered the first time it had happened. It had been a couple of weeks since he'd injected himself and Hugh had applied the first proto-type ports to his arms. Paul jumped the Discovery out of a battle-zone and stepped out of the cube in his higher mood. He didn't know why, but he had the sudden urge to find Hugh, just find him and be near him. Luckily for him, Hugh was on his day off and laid over their bed in his dark, off-shift clothes. Hugh had barely looked up from his PADD to greet Paul by the time their lips were pressed together. Paul kissed hungrily, opening Hugh's shirt, bracing his palms against his chest and exploring. He felt like he was feeling and seeing Hugh in a whole new way and as a scientist, it was his duty to explore his new discovery. His thumb found Hugh's scar, and traced the hard lines gently, pulling his lips back from the kiss.

"Good evening to you too," Hugh smiled from beneath him. "What's gotten into you?" Hugh asked as Paul's lips kissed along his jaw and down the sensitive skin of his neck. Paul had moved himself, so he was hovering over Hugh, one of his legs between his partners, his hard member fighting against the confines of his uniform.

"I don't know, I just have this need to be with you right now," Paul explained, tracing the scar, "is that OK?" He asked softly. Hugh put his PADD aside and caressed the back of his fingers over Paul's cheek, trailing it down to pull open the zip of his uniform jacket.

"Absolutely," he answered softly, leaning up to press his lips back to Paul's.

After undressing each other Paul guided Hugh to lay back on the bed, taking the lube from the bedside table he coated his fingers and teased Hugh's entrance. Hugh flexed his hips, trying to take Paul's fingers into him. Hugh cursed as Paul entered him, simultaneously taking Hugh's cock in his mouth.

Paul opened Hugh thoroughly, pushing him to the edge, then pulling him back at the last minute. "Paul, please," Hugh whimpered as Paul pulled him back from the edge for whatever time – he'd long since lost count. Withdrawing his fingers from Hugh, Paul reached for where he'd dropped the lube and applied it to his cock.

Moving between Hugh's legs he lined himself up with Hugh's entrance and brought their lips back together as he entered him. Hugh moaned, Paul felt amazing inside him and he could taste his own pre-cum on Paul's tongue. Paul's thrusts were leisurely at first, but they soon picked up in urgency. Picking up one of Hugh's legs, trapping it over his shoulder he changed the angle at which he entered Hugh, resulting in finding his prostate with practised ease. Guided and encouraged by the noises coming from his partner Paul stroked Hugh's cock. With the addition of Paul stroking his cock it didn't take long for Hugh to find his release, calling Paul's name and spilling over his lover's hand and his own chest. Paul came not long after, spilling into Hugh, moans muffled by Hugh's lips. He stilled inside Hugh, gazing into the other's eyes.

Allowing his cock to slip out, Paul laid on his side, caressing Hugh wherever he could reach. Hugh snuggled closer to Paul, "I'm definitely not complaining, but where did that come from?"

"Not sure. I stepped out of the cube and felt like I just had to be with you, my Dear Doctor."

"You think the spores made you like that?"

"Maybe, they do always elevate my mood."

"I've noticed, but today was different, if you were an animal I'd maybe have called it a mating frenzy."

"Spooky, because I was thinking similar, the goal to cum inside you, was ever present in the back of my mind. You don't think my mixed DNA is capable of that, do you?"

"Even if it has increased your fertility, I think we're safe, if I must remind you, my Dear Scientist, in our universe, men cannot carry babies or get pregnant."

"Right, right, not sure where my head was there," Paul agreed.

Hugh smiled, "that's OK, now since you've made me a mess, maybe you can join me in getting cleaned up?"

"In a minute, right now I just wanna hold you," Paul told him, kissing his shoulder.

After Hugh was gone, Paul never stepped out of the cube with the desire to mate. The spores knew his grief, they knew he'd lost his partner, but they did their best to try and elevate his mood when they could sense he was sad. Then something odd happened. They sensed it in his mind. He had gotten his mate back. Hugh was close by, the spores sensed this, they knew it.

One day, when Paul stepped out of the cube he felt it, that urge, the one he had come to love. The urge to be close to Hugh. But he couldn't do that anymore, he couldn't be with Hugh how he wanted to be. Hugh had things he needed to work through and he'd left. He didn't know how to love Paul, the way Paul loved him. He couldn't connect with the memories.

Hugh caught sight of Paul on his way from the mess to his new quarters. When he caught sight of Paul however, he stopped in his tracks, he knew that look. It was a look he used to hold positive emotions about. It was the look he got when the spores decided they needed to have sex. Hugh certainly remembered that look, he remembered the nights, the many nights together. The memories he had were tinted, he knew the emotions attached to them, but he couldn't connect that emotion.

Returning to his room he thought about what he'd been working on with his counsellor: reconnecting with emotions. Cornwall had recommended and assigned a therapist / counsellor to work aboard the Discovery to aid his recovery. With her, Hugh had learned that to reconnect certain emotions he needed to experience the cause of the emotions. It was something he wanted to explore with Paul, but he never knew how to approach it with the man. Now, however, he was torn. He remembered Paul when he was like this, but he also remembered the less good times, like when Hugh was unavailable. Unable to find his release the way the spores intended he would grow frustrated, as they had found out when Hugh had been involved in a medical quarantine. Paul would get pent-up and could be quicker to snap at others, but not Hugh, he never had with Hugh. When it happened he always felt awful and apologised to who had been on the receiving end. The crew were sympathetic, they knew it was something out of his control that he was dealing with. But it still made Paul feel guilty.

Knowing he did feel something for Paul, even if he didn't know what he felt, he couldn't let that happen. Now he was torn in another way. He was nervous. Hugh's body was new, this body hadn't experienced these things his memories were describing. Technically, he supposed he was a virgin. Remembering how the spore induced trysts could go he decided it would be wise to prepare himself, before approaching Paul, especially considering how long it had likely been going on while he was dead.

Once ready, he followed the route to their old home, pausing once it came into sight. He hadn't been in this part of the habitation decks since he'd moved his stuff. He shook his head, he couldn't get side-tracked, this was for Paul's good and his curiosity. Pressing the button to let Paul know he had a visitor he took a deep, steadying breath and waited.

Paul heard the chime to his door go and groaned, now was not a good time for guests. He answered it, intending to tell whoever it was to go away, he paused when he found Hugh there, looking nervous. "Hi."

"Hi," Paul replied, "now isn't a great time."

"I know, I saw you and recognised it, can I come in?" Wordlessly, Paul stepped aside.

"What exactly are you doing here?" Paul asked after a long moment of silence.

"I was hoping we could help each other out," Hugh began. "I've been talking to a therapist, she said that to help me reconnect with my memories and the attached emotions I should try and re-experience some things. I have fond memories of our time together, I know they're fond because we look happy, but I can't connect to them emotionally. Also, I know what happens to you, I remember that medical quarantine. Look, Paul, it doesn't have to mean anything, but I don't want you to suffer like this anymore."

"Anymore?"

"Haven't they been going on all the time I was dead?"

"No, they went away after you died, this is the first time it's happened. If I'm being completely honest, I think that it was triggered by your return. Do you think us being together could help you?"

"I think it might, it's just a theory. Paul, I want to be able to feel something. Something good. Please, help me by letting me help you," as Hugh spoke he stepped closer to Paul, the proximity sending fresh hormones raging through his bloodstream. "Please," he asked, softly, reaching out to brush Paul's hand with his fingers.

"Oh, what the hell," Paul muttered, surging forward to capture Hugh's lips, after a moment Hugh responded, rubbing his hands up over Paul's clothed torso he unzipped the jacket and pushed it from Paul's shoulders. Pulling back for air, Paul took Hugh by the hand and pulled him to his bedroom, once there he pulled at the buttons to Hugh's shirt before resorting to pulling it off over his head. He reached out to touch Hugh, his skin felt as soft and smooth as it had before, he traced his fingers over the skin, pausing where Hugh's scar had once been. Dipping his head, he pressed a kiss to that spot, before pinning him to the door and starting work on a love bite to mark the area.

Hugh moaned as Paul's hands worked on undressing the rest of him and then himself. Paul pulled Hugh over to what was their bed, wrapping his arms around his naked middle he held them against each other, kissing him deeply. Paul's hands slid down Hugh's naked back, squeezing and massaging his ass, pulling him closer, their cocks brushing. The DNA in Paul's body reacted to the proximity he had to his perceived mate, he drew back from their kiss. Getting Hugh to lay back he looked in the bedside table for their supplies, before cursing at the memory that he got rid in grief. "My pockets," Hugh said, "I brought what we'll need." In Hugh's pockets he found what he needed and returned to the bed. "I know we never used to, but today we'll have to use these," Hugh said, taking the condoms from Paul. "I'll explain why later, I have prepped myself though, in anticipation," he explained closing Paul's fingers around the lube.

Paul nodded, leaning over to press a softer kiss to Hugh's cheek before helping him get comfortable. Hugh shivered as Paul's lubed finger entered him. "You alright?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah, just very different than my own fingers and so much better," Hugh assured him. Paul revised some of his old tricks, he knew how and where to find Hugh's prostate, so he stroked it with one finger, Hugh's hips bucked suddenly from the bed.

"Someone's sensitive," Paul teased.

"Well, everything's brand new again, revisiting lots of firsts here," Paul's finger stilled, he'd not considered this. Hugh flexed his hips, attempting to create movement. Paul resumed his activity, adding more fingers, reassured that Hugh had prepared himself thoroughly.

Rolling on the condom he applied lube to his cock. Sitting against the headboard he guided Hugh to straddle his lap, "let's start like this, this way you're in full control of our pace." Pressing their lips together Hugh went up on his knees and allowed Paul to guide his cock to his entrance, slowly lowering himself down. Hugh moaned, fully seated in Paul's lap, letting his forehead rest against Paul's shoulder. "You feel so amazing," Paul muttered, shifting experimentally. Hugh cursed against his skin. Having Paul inside him felt amazing to him too.

Hugh began rolling his hips, taking Paul's cock inside him to the hilt before withdrawing and repeating the action. Paul brought their lips together again. Hugh parted them and went on his knees, allowing Paul's cock to slip from his ass. Climbing off Paul's lap he pulled Paul on top of him, wrapping his legs around Paul's waist. Paul lined himself up and entered Hugh again, the change in angle allowing his cock to hit Hugh's prostate, "oh fuck," Hugh muttered. "Fuck, Paul, I'm, fuck," he whimpered as Paul's cock continued to hit his prostate with every thrust.

Reaching between them Paul stroked Hugh's cock. "Don't hold back, cum for me, my Dear Doctor," Paul whispered in his ear. Hugh cursed as his orgasm erupted, spilling cum over himself and Paul, who continued to thrust to completion within him. Paul peppered Hugh's face with kisses before pulling out and disposing of the condom. Returning to bed with a damp cloth to clean the two of them off.

Hugh pulled his underwear back on and slipped under the covers, Paul did the same, slipping his arm around Hugh. They laid in silence for a while, taking in what had transpired. "How're you feeling?" Paul asked softly. Hugh shifted around so he was facing Paul.

"Closer to you. I might be able to connect to some of our memories more, only time will tell," Hugh paused, "speaking of telling, I asked Tracy not to tell you about it when I first got looked over. You were right Paul, the spores do see me as your mate, I'm very likely what triggered this in you. As your mate they decided my previous form was missing some organs and therefore provided them, in addition." Realisation dawned on Paul. "Yeah, they gave me ovaries and all the trimmings," he explained. "I've been spending a lot of time with Tracy, finding a safe way to have them removed. I don't identify as a woman and there's no way I plan to keep it inside me. I am planning to have some eggs frozen," he admitted, "should I ever find myself in a position that me and my partner are ready for kids, they could be mine and his. Through a surrogate, that is." Hugh felt the need to clarify.

"Thank you for sharing that, with me. I'm sorry bringing you back wasn't as smooth as I would have preferred. I was foolish to think it could be. You need time and I can give you that, I owe you that and so much more. Thank you for being here, I honestly don't know what would have happened if you hadn't turned up."

"You don't have to thank me Paul. Part of me, however disconnected from my memories that is, does love you, deeply. I wanted to feel close to you and right now I do. People fall back in love all the time, maybe for us that's in the stars. Maybe someday we'll be the ones picking out a surrogate. Maybe. Someday." Hugh yawned, nestling closer against Paul's chest.

"Someday, Dear Doctor." Paul agreed quietly, pressing a kiss to Hugh's temple. At Hugh's words a ray of hope lit up in Paul's heart. He hoped that someday, they would indeed do that. Someday, they could get married and have children together. Someday, they could be happy together again. Someday.