The text reads: remember, get Louis' prescription. Tell him I luv em'.
I smile and shove my phone back into my pocket. That was that, I snatch up my keys and walk out of the door, leaving Louis in the care of Liam, which wasn't bad, but still. I was his watcher, not Liam…according to the waiver.
The car starts easily on this mid- January afternoon. And yet, it took me a bit longer to get there. The hospital was in New York, but on a regular day like today it would simply take approximately twenty minutes. And that's how long it took, but something about the car ride was different, somehow.
I pull into an open parking space and swiftly hop out, intaking a quick breath, shoving my hands in my jacket pocket and feeling my phone. Force of habit because Kiara was always texting me and my phone was always on vibrate.
The glass doors that brought in bright, warming sunlight was welcoming to everyone who enters and as the girl at the front desk spots me, she beams and drop the paper she's reading.
"Dakota, hello. How can I help you?"
"Hey Klair, I'm just here for Louis' prescription. That painkiller goes faster than I thought."
She smiles and gets up from the swivel chair, turning around to a filing cabinet behind her and pulling one drawer out that reads: "A-L"
In a matter of seconds she had the prescription out and the signing papers filled. I snatch up the bag and thank her.
As I turn to the doors, I freeze. Now wait a second, maybe, just maybe…
I turn my head down the hall, where Louis' room was, and notice the elevator down the hall. I hesitate for a moment and Klair notices.
"Something wrong?"
I have to think fast and in a swift motion, I turn to face her.
"Yeah, I uh…forgot to bring a drink and just wanted to know if there was a water fountain or a snack machine."
To my luck, she smiles and points a finger down the hall.
"Right down there by the elevators."
Even better.
I nod thanks and walk down the hall. At the elevators, Floor 3 rings in my head. Floor three, room 804. Floor three, room 804. And without hesitation, I press the button. The elevator dings loudly and opens up, inviting me in with brightly painted walls and carpeted floors. And I accept the invitation.
Almost on second nature I press "floor three" and the elevator jerks to life, pushing me towards the floor with its quick motion. I grp the bar tightly, struggling to stand and finally catch myself. My heart lurches, not because of its sudden motion, no, for a different reason.
When the elevator pauses and opens up again, I stare out at the floor for a moment before taking my first step out. The absence of that tangy antiseptic and medication was both reassuring and awkward. But I proceed down the hall, nodding to a shorter nurse, who smiles a genuine smile and lifts up a small bag at her side, walking swiftly towards the elevators.
Taking a deep breath that smells more of oranges than a hospital, I walk slowly down the hallway, watching the numbers as my palms begin to sweat heavily.
798, 799, 800, 801, 802, 803. I shut my eyes tight as I stop at 804 with the plate and engraved name underneath: Niall Horan. A tear instantly springs to my eyes as I picture what the image inside may look like: Niall lying unconscious on the bed, tubes and needles in his arms, pale white with his eyes closed. I remember what Kiara had told me when I cried about it last. She had said "Just think of his asleep. He's not anywhere near dead, and when he sleeps, he likes to hear your voice and he likes you to tell him in a calm voice that you love him." Then again, I remember her erratic sentence to Liam when I had a meltdown: "Don't let him hear her freak out, he may freak out, have a heart attack and die!"
With those two things in mind, I place my hand on the door. Coma patients are not allowed to have visitors, which mean that I was breaking the law…in a hospital…by seeing the one I love. But that was why I had to break the law; because he was in the hospital and because he was the one I loved.
Now with that in mind as well, I slowly press the handle and walk in. The sight that greets me is not what I expected.
When I enter the the dimly lit room, the first thing I spot is the tall IV stands sitting on either side of the bed. The bed it lying flat with the back tipped up. Several pillows piled high above his bed and the sheets pulled up to his chest. That's where the "normal" ends: two IV's are stuck into his arm; one leading to a clear bag of liquid and the other to a bag of blood. There are needles all over the desk and one is inserted in his hand, tape over it. He has a breather on as well as a pacemaker… which makes me freeze. A pacemaker. Only used if someone stops breathing.
My heart catches in my throat then. Even though the heart monitor by the bedside beeps naturally, the pacemaker makes me flinch.
Slowly, I take small steps towards an open chair curved for me to sit, and I sit nervously, my heart pounding faster than I thought it ever could. My hands shake rapidly and I hold them to make them stop: they don't. I look at the Niall that I used to know: his bright face that was always blushing with excitement or happiness; his warming hands that always held mine; blonde hair spiked up to look cooler than he wanted it. Now, his pale skin is close to white and his hands stay frozen at his side. I remember the first day he met me, or his first gig, or his first concert, or even his first video diary. His hands were constantly moving; scratching the back of his neck or clapping, clutching a cup or bag of chips, anything. Seeing them still at his side, resting delicately on the bed was frightening to me. And of course: his hair. He would hate to see it like how it is. His blonde hair is erratic as if he had blow dyed it wet and it stuck out in every direction, even though there is only one. His brown sideburns which he struggled to hide for so long were now easily visible and I loved them. His eyes were shut, as well, and I longed to see his icy blue eyes, tearing with happiness or filled with compassion.
I reach out a nervous hand and place it on top of his. The icy chill sends currents throughout my body and in a reflex, I lash out both hands to clutch one and I pull it close to my face. What shocks me is that he always places his other hand on top of mine and I'd look up real slow to see him laughing silently to himself. Now his hand in mine lays limp, unmoving and icy cold. After a while though, it begins to warm, and I kiss it, slowly taking one hand away to slip into my pocket, my other hand gripping it tightly.
"I'll never let go, you know. I love you, and letting you go will be the end of me. You have to promise me the same thing, though. Don't let go, don't die, okay? We haven't even gotten married yet."
Somehow, I find myself laughing through my tears, brushing a hand across my eyes as I try not to look at his face. I want to see him running and chasing me, laughing his contagious laugh and finally just smiling, maybe lying side by side in the grass or on the floor in my room.
"I mean, I can't plan a wedding alone, right? The groom has to be there to pick out the tuxes, which I'm terrible at, the location, which I have no idea about and most importantly the food. I left that part for you."
I smile as I realize telling him will be like. I lower my head, looking at his hand in mine.
"Plus, I have a surprise for you."
I find that I've run out of things to say, and telling him about me and Liam's rampage wouldn't be such a smart idea, so I keep that for later. I rack my brain trying to find something to say, but find nothing to tell him.
"You know that I love you, right? With all my heart, my soul, my being, my everything. When you were with me, I was the Dakota that I always wanted to be; finally complete. I laugh, I smile, I listen and agree with people. When your hands intertwine with mine, I never feel alone. When you're at my side, I feel like I could be anywhere and be happy. When your arms are around my waist, I feel like I can fly. And when you kiss me…I feel like I could stay there forever. When I wasn't with you, when…when my world broke, it felt dark, I was alone, unhappy, ruined. I cant live without you another day, please come back to me!"
I drop my head and sob freely. He was the only one, with an exception of Louis, my brother, to see me cry. And he was only one who could comfort me. Of course, not here.
As I cry, I give his hand a little slack as my body racks with sobs. Suddenly, and very prominently his hand tightens around mine. I the sobs freeze for a moment and I look up at him. He hasn't changed a bit, and when I look down at his hand it's the same, slackened in my grip. Could it have been just me gripping it through my crying? Or my imagination? The heart monitor showed no fluctuation of any sort and nothing else seemed to be out of place.
My heart pounded heavily against my chest as I glance at him again.
"Niall? I…I hear you…I know…you want to be set free. I love you, okay? Our love will rid of this coma, okay? Okay, we will be done with this soon enough, and if you love me, you'll wake up. Please, please, Niall, you're…you're crushing me. Im nothing without you!"
I lower my head to his arm and cry devastatingly strong and his frozen arm doesn't help at all.
Suddenly, I hear a strange noise begin quickly, strongly, loudly. It was a quick clicking, but when I hold my breath for a second, I realize it's a beeping, not a click. I look around slowly, tears streaming my red face. The beeping gets faster and faster, and I look up to see the IV begin to drop more and more fluid until it was a steady stream, something I've never seen it do.
Beside me, I turn to the heart monitor, and the original up and down motion was now sporadically flitting up and down, like a dragonfly's path.
"Niall?" I ask through a gasp and look at his face. His eyes shut, frozen solid, and his face as pale as it could get, I watch him with studying eyes. And suddenly, his eyes flash open to show his bright blue eyes.
At first, I stagger backwards into the chair as the heart monitor settles back down. For a second I thought it was a reflex, but when he raises his head shakily and one hand goes up to his head, I know it's real. Hes awake. Alive. Well. My Niall has finally survived the eleven days that we thought we lost him.
More tears well up in my eyes and I throw my arms around his neck. Confusedly, he wraps his arms around me.
"Dakota?" he asks, and his voice cracks as if he hadn't spoken for….eleven days. I pull away and he looks at me.
"I love you," I say and he goes to hold up his other hand, only to find my fingers twined tightly around them. He smiles his Niall smile and I can't help but blush.
"I missed you," he says shakily and holds out his hands. I smile and stand up, giving him an awkward hug from over the bar. After what seems like forever in heaven, I pull away and sit down. He reaches for the IV inserted into his opposite arm and I put my other hand on his shoulder. He looks at me with concerned eyes that make my stomach flutter again. I missed his more than I thought.
"Might wanna wait until a nurse comes in." he nods and sits back.
"So…what did I miss?"
I sit back and laugh a laugh that couldn't have been forced. Replaying the past eleven days in my head…I can tell he's going to enjoy this story.
"I think the real question is what haven't you missed. I can't tell you everything today but I definitely will eventually."
He nods and smiles, looking around.
"How long was I out for?"
I glance nervously up towards the ceiling and gulp.
"Eleven days."
He bites his lip quickly and tightens his grip on my hand.
"Sorry."
I look up with a half smile.
"You're sorry? Why are you sorry?"
He shrugs and looks down at our hands locked together. He's still looking down at them when he nearly whispers: "Because I ruined you."
I look up at him and wait for him to lock into my gaze before he speaks again.
"I heard what you said. I can hear what people say. It's like being locked in your head: no sight, no control of movement but you have your thoughts and hearing."
Suddenly, I feel totally grateful for Kiara telling me that and give an internal sigh of relief that I hadn't told him the Liam story.
"Well…I'm sorry too. For letting you go. I never want to spend another day without you."
And it didn't take anything other than that. Because I lean over the rail again and press my lips against him, for the first time since he awoke and I remember how much I truly missed it all along. The kiss not only brought back my memory of our first kiss, but of all the times he told me he loved me, all the useless fights where we apologized a hundred times, the time when he left temporarily and when he returned the next week, cried and we rambled on and on about how it was such a bad idea to be separated and how truly sorry we were to have left. and then the memory i wanted to fade, something I never wanted to tell him but had to.
The kiss also made my head spin with excitement and joy and made my hands-well more like hand since my other hand was interlaced with his-stop shaking. I pull away with a guilty look.
"Look…I gotta tell you something." I sit down and sigh. He looks at me worriedly.
"Is everything alright?" Nerves prick my stomach as the prickles rip through my spine. My stomach churns tightly as I struggle through the mess of words in my mind.
"N-not really…do you remember that day when we first had our date? We were hiking around in the woods and you said it would be a pretty good idea to go on vacation…"
He nods. "Vermont."
"Right, Vermont. So we rented that cabin, just you and I, and we stayed there. Well, after a while, we went hiking up into the woods and we found a ski resort and we stayed up there by the ice. It snowed on the way back. You thought it was funny that I couldn't walk in my heavy boots, but when I told you I couldn't feel my legs and I was really cold, you got worried. My teeth were chattering and my lips were purple and when I stumbled into the snow…"
"I caught you."
"Yeah…you brought me back to the cabin and set me down my the fireplace. You pulled off my boots to find that my socks had frozen solid. One of the scariest moments of my life, mind you, and so you remembered the survival 101 tip."
"Which was the best way to treat hypothermia was to t-"
"I know! I know! Okay, so you took my jacket off and the show pants and then we hugged by the fireplace. It was nice so you took your jacket off. It set a nice mood: romantic night by the fireplace with the snow billowing up outside, a warm log cabin in the middle of a snowy tundra, yet we were cozy inside. You turned to me and asked me a simple question…do you remember what you asked me?"
I could tell he was intruiged by my story and shook his head quickly.
"I don't remember much of afterward."
I sigh. Perfect…just great.
You said 'I won't if you won't…and I think we've had enough practice. Are you ready for the real deal?' and I said yes…so we did it there, for a good solid twenty minutes maybe…let's just say that after that, I wasn't cold anymore and it took a long time to fix myself while my hands shook so hard.
"That night when we got back, I checked…you know, to check. You weren't around…you might have gone out with Harry…but I did the small test and…it showed green."
I was ready to go out and say it and when I did, Niall didn't seem to catch what I meant…so I was forced to say the three simple words: "Niall…I'm pregnant."