An Encounter of the S.P.E.W. Kind

By RoseFire

Disclaimer: This is a little idea that's been brewing for awhile. I thought fans might get a laugh out of it. This is my first Harry Potter work. Please note that this has a slight crossover with Lord of the Rings. Please let me know what you think.

Hermione Granger felt as though she had been clubbed by a mallet. She blinked rapidly, trying to clear her vision. Her surroundings came into focus and she recognized being in the kitchens of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She tried to stand up, but found she couldn't. She wasn't tied up; she must be under a Body-Bind curse.

"What happened?" she asked aloud. "Is anyone here?"

There was only silence for about a minute or two. Then, Hermione heard the sound of tiny feet coming closer. There were suddenly thousands of house-elves surrounding her. It was difficult to read the expressions on their brown faces. Some looked at her curiously. Some looked slightly nervous, but otherwise determined.

"Hello," Hermione said, feeling very timid. "Can you set me free?"

"No," a little house-elf squeaked, "We is not able to free you."

"Why not?"

"Because I is asking them not to," squeaked another voice.

Hermione looked up to see another house-elf, walking toward her. As the house-elf approached her, Hermione could see Winky and Dobby behind her. Dobby looked uneasy, while Winky looked as determined as her drunken state would allow. Hermione shifted her attention to the house-elf that had spoken to her. Clearly a female, the house-elf was dressed in a pillowcase, much as the one Harry had described Dobby had worn when employed by the Malfoys, though this one was much cleaner. Around her head like a crown, she wore what looked like a child's headband. In the center of the headband was one of the S.P.E.W. badges.

"You is Hermione Granger." The house-elf did not ask, but rather pronounced it like a court sentence.

"Yes," Hermione said, feeling even more timid.

"We is here to respond to your S.P.E.W." the house-elf said, "I is Pocky, your judge."

"Judge?" Hermione asked. "What are you judging me for?"

"Miss must know," Dobby said. "Miss has created her S.P.E.W., and now, Miss must answer to her crimes."

"Crimes?" Hermione gasped. "Is it a crime to want to free you house-elves?"

"Yes, it is," Pocky answered. "It is as much a crime for you to be freeing us as it is to be making us work."

"Then you know you shouldn't be slaves," Hermione said.

"Yes, we is knowing it," Pocky said. "But we is also knowing more than you do about it. What does Miss know of us being made to work?"

"I know that wizards have been doing it for countless decades," Hermione said, feeling as though she were in yet another class. "I know that wizards have made house-elves work for them without wages or benefits or holidays."

"Miss is very smart," Pocky said, almost smiling. "But Miss is mistaken. You are no better than other wizards."

Hermione could find no answer to Pocky's statement.

"But I've read all about it," Hermione said softly.

"In wizards' books," Pocky said. "When not once has you tried to talk to us about why we work."

"Because you've been brainwashed into thinking that wizards are better than you," Hermione cried.

"No, that is how it appears now to you," Pocky said. "But if you was to look closer and into our history, you would be seeing something different. House-elves is working because we is saying so."

There was a murmur of agreement among all the house-elves present.

"You work because you want to?" Hermione was clearly confused. Pocky seemed to realize this and was patient.

"Many years ago, house-elves was free with all other creatures. We were normal elves and we is living in the forests and by the lakes. We is living in all the enchanted places of the world. But elves is living for many years and we is knowing that we is not meant to live in this world forever."

Hermione sat transfixed by Pocky's speech. Pocky continued to describe a great war that happened long ago that ended the age of the elves and magic. Elves began to leave the world for another one.

"But some of us is staying," Pocky said. "We is knowing that our help is being still needed. So some elves stayed to work for men. We elves is sharing our knowledge of enchanted magic with men and making them wizards."

"You mean, because of elves, there is still magic in the world?" Hermione breathed. "But once we had magic, why did you stay? Why didn't you leave once men knew how to use their magic and could care for themselves?"

"Because you is foolish," Pocky said. "You is still very much like children. Children is knowing how to survive, but not how to live. Even now, you is behaving foolishly. You is still wanting power, so some side with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

"But not all of us," Hermione said.

"You is feeling that you have stronger magic and that you make us safe," Pocky said. "And even you, Miss, you is feeling that you is better than us. You feel that you have a duty to set us free because we is poor, brainwashed creatures who cannot take care of ourselves."

Hermione opened her mouth to reply but closed it quickly. Was she really as arrogant as other wizards? Did she truly think that she was better than others because she wanted to set others free?

"Wizards is wrong to enslave elves," Pocky said. "But we is knowing that they is foolish children when we stayed with them."

"Why are you telling me this?" Hermione asked. "Surely you must think that I'm foolish, so why try to make me understand?"

"We is telling you the crime," Pocky said sadly. "Because everyone must know why they must be punished."

Hermione's blood seemed to turn to ice in her veins.

"Punished?"

The house-elves began to turn their backs on her.

"We is not able to stop serving wizards," Pocky said softly. "Anymore than you is able to stop reading books or doing magic."

Hermione suddenly felt as though a light within her was being extinguished. It grew dimmer and dimmer.

"You is trying to take away the gift we is giving to wizards and men," Pocky said and Hermione could see tears in her eyes. "So, we must take away the gift you is giving to those around you."

As the light grew dimmer, Hermione's vision began to blur. Soon, only she and Pocky were left alone in the kitchens.

"Please," Hermione said sobbing. "Please don't do this. I don't want to be a Muggle. Not after what I've seen."

"Do you still think so highly of yourself?" Pocky said. She did not speak as a house-elf anymore. Hermione strained to see through her tears. Pocky seemed to have changed in form. She glowed luminously before her.

"I'm sorry," Hermione whispered and everything faded into darkness.

Hermione bolted up in her sleep. She was gasping for breath and shaking.

"Hermione?" Ron asked. "Are you okay?"

Hermione remembered everything. She had been sitting in the Gryffindor common room with Harry and Ron, working on homework. She looked around her. Harry must have gone to bed, but Ron was staring at her curiously.

"I must have been dreaming," she said.

"Must have been some dream," Ron said.

"Ron," Hermione said suddenly. "Do you think S.P.E.W. is dumb?"

"Yes," Ron said instantly. "But since when has it mattered to you what I thought?"

Hermione did not answer. Ron sighed and went up to bed, leaving Hermione sitting alone with her thoughts.

The End

Okay, so this isn't your usual Harry Potter fic, but I just got tired of thinking "I should do this," and I wrote it. Let me know what you think. It's not really plot driven, it's just my thoughts on what I think of S.P.E.W.

Stay cool everyone! From here on in, this will be fun!