The shawl is stained to hell and back, and even after scrubbing at it for an hour he can't get the goddamn blood out. It shouldn't matter, really. The captain probably isn't expecting him to return it.
Then again, Kuchiki-taichou wasn't expecting him to survive, either. Just like he didn't expect Zabimaru's fangs to ever reach him, just like he didn't expect Renji to have achieved bankai already, just like he never expects it but is never surprised.
It makes Renji wonder whether Kuchiki-taichou has any expectations of him at all.
Just do your work, do what he says, and don't do anything you're not supposed to, Kira told him once, after sake had loosened Renji's tongue enough so that the whole third division had probably heard him complaining.
It's good advice maybe, but Renji knows what his friend used to "do" with his own captain, that smiling fox-face who was responsible for the way Kira flinches now every time someone brushes past him.
He doesn't look at Kuchiki-taichou that way, but neither does he fear him. Despite all of Kira's objections to the claim, it's painfully obvious that he feared Ichimaru Gin.
Whatever he mutters to himself as he balls the fabric up and tosses it back in the closet. Kuchiki-taichou probably has spares. And, he reminds himself, the captain isn't expecting him to give it back.
Renji crouches on the floor of his bedroom, looking at Zabimaru in his sheath.
After a few minutes, he snorts in disgust and picks up the shawl.
--
It won't come out, Yumichika says helpfully. A pity, since it's such a beautiful wrap.
Ikkaku-san looks bored and picks up the shawl with the end of his zanpakuto, holding it out towards Renji.
What's the big deal, anyways? He gave it to you 'cause he thought you were dead.
Yes, Yumichika agrees, it's like your funeral shroud. It wouldn't be polite to give it back.
Renji scowls. Thanks for the advicehe says, and takes the fabric from Ikkaku-san.
Yumichika looks at Ikkaku and smiles.
--
Maybe women just know more about these things, Renji figures as he looks at the shawl, now blood-free thanks to Momo and some sort of cleaning solution that had smelled for shit.
The only problem, Momo had told him after she dried it, holding her arm in that same defensive way that Kira does, is that there's a tiny little stain I couldn't get out, near the hem.
His thumb finds the stain, rubbing it absently. He had told Momo that it didn't matter, and it really didn't, since the captain was probably never going to wear it again. It just seemed wrong somehow to keep it for himself, and even worse to throw it out. And he couldn't give it back while it was covered in his own blood.
Whatever, he says for the second time that morning, squaring his shoulders and rapping on the sixth division captain's door.
--
You didn't have to bring it back.
I know, he says, and hands it to the older man anyways.
Kuchiki-taichou spares it a brief glance, his pen still poised over the paperwork. I do have others.
I know. Renji wishes he could find something else to say.
A minute passes, or maybe it's only a second before Kuchiki-taichou begins writing again.
Renji's been in sixth division long enough to recognize a dismissal.
--
The orders come in a few days later, and as he makes preparations to go to the real world he can't help but wonder if he's being demoted. He's been expecting some sort of punishment, daring to hope that nearly getting sliced to ribbons by his own captain was punishment enough.
Rukia comes to see him, and after she leaves it's Shuuhei and Matsumoto, who both want souvenirs. Renji tells them that he won't be there long enough to buy anything, and anyways he doesn't have any real world money, to which Matsumoto suggests he ask his captain for funds. He thinks she's teasing, but sometimes with Rangiku-san it's hard to tell.
Kuchiki-taichou doesn't come, so he goes to him, an hour or so before he's supposed to leave. Like he expected, the shinigami noble is wearing another wrap, identical in color and shape to the one he discarded on top of Renji. The captain doesn't have much to say; just the usual don't fuck up, though of course he doesn't word it like that.
Renji bows and exits the office, promising to perform his duties and return to his position as soon as possible.
Kuchiki-taichou doesn't look up when he leaves, signing a document and adjusting his shawl.
Near the hem is a tiny red stain.