He preferred the first time he tasted death. What preceded his last breaths was left up to his imagination. Like being sideswiped by a car, without so much of an inkling leading to its occurrence. Painless, quick. A situation where the uncertainty of the unknown is less frightening than the possession of it.
No, he was unique in his experience of death. Or more so, murder. Furthermore, his knowledge was not from the perspective of the deliverer, but its receiver. Yes, he much preferred the ambiguity of the first time, for the second was its complete opposite.
That one was the demon which wandered in his dreams at night. That one was the sentinel which stood in front of the gates to rest. Those eyes were the last thing he saw, glowing in the encapsulating darkness of his vision.
Worse still was his mind's incredible ability to retain information. The pain through his body. The smell of his essence wafting off of him. The crushing around his throat.
The same thoughts would run through his head; at that very moment he knew he had been deceived. Not by his murderer, no. But by his leader, his Superior. Creeping through his chest like thick vines he could feel a debilitating sensation weighing him down like a lead vest. He remembered that sensation well, as he remembers it now.
Terror.
Like clockwork, Ienzo's eyes flung open, expecting to greet the face of a monster. His urges of self-preservation were in overdrive as his novel heartbeat just skimmed a rate sufficient for a cardio workout.
He scanned the surroundings, able to regain his bearings due to the familiarity of a safe room.
He never dared rest with the light off. Too much danger has crawled out from the dark.
Once Ienzo was able to get the frequency of his breath within a reason range, he reached over to a small notebook and opened it. Laid within were columns with various times, between 10pm – 6am, under differing dates. He glanced over to his bedside clock and made note of the time under the last column.
There were already 2 entries for that day.
Letting out a large, frustrated sigh, his eyes followed the invisible vertical lines these numbers were creating down the page. His expression was one of disgust and spite, as if the data were insulting him where he sat.
He was exhausted and irritable. Between the lack of sleep and anxiety attacks he had been experiencing since recompletion, he was not well. His mind wandered as he begun an inner monologue.
"Why was it I required my heart returned to me? I was much more efficient without one."
His hand tightly clenched the open notebook, damaging the paper unlucky enough to be caught between his fingers.
"Without sleep, I can't even begin to imagine I'll be much use in decoding that data. Too much is at stake."
With those last words, he felt an explosion of energy originate from an epicenter within his heart. It first reached his head, wiping all ability of rational thought clean from him. It then reached his arm, willing it to throw the offending book and information it held across the room as hard as its muscles were capable of.
Although he could not perceive it, his heart rate had increased once again. Fear and anger do go hand in hand.
The book hit the wall with such a force, the sound of it echoed around the room with nearly the same volume. This sound knocked Ienzo out of his fit of rage which was threatening to rise in intensity. Another sigh was released, this time one of shame and anticipation.
He knew his tantrum was overheard when footfalls were just outside his door. He knew better than to throw something, it was no different than screaming though the castle corridors for help.
The knob turned quickly and opened swiftly. The light of the room poured over the guard which stood there. Ienzo refused to look at the man, but knew precisely who it was.
"Is everything alright?"
Aeleus stood without urgency. He was well aware what transpired just moments before, but refused to give any sound the benefit of the doubt when it came to possible danger. It was his nature, as well as his duty.
A hand now rested against Ienzo's face, reflecting the distaste he had for summoning Aeleus without important reason. He softly nodded.
"Yes, everything is fine. Just some minor sleep trouble is all."
Once he felt satisfied enough he could feign a face of assurance, Ienzo removed the hand and flashed a fragile smile at Aeleus.
"I'm sorry for making you come in. I'm going to try to get back to sleep."
Aeleus was quick to respond to this statement. His voice innately strong and assertive, it erased the presence of Ienzo's speech from the room.
"Your outbursts are becoming more frequent."
The brittle smile fell off Ienzo's face with ease, and his head drooped. It was apparent he was unwell, but it seemed nothing could alleviate the strain he was experiencing.
"Yes, and I haven't been sleeping."
His eyes trailed over to the book which lay open on the floor across the room. The guard followed Ienzo's line of sight. He walked over and retrieved it. The man on the bed continued.
"I've repeatedly been plagued with nightmares of events from the past. I could only suppose it's the means in which my heart has to communicate with my mind. To reconcile all of the information they haven't shared over the years."
He became visibly upset over the matter.
"But the extent that it's reaching - it's becoming ridiculous!"
Aeleus looked over the information on the book he had just picked up. It reflected Ienzo's plight for sleep. They both knew if this behavior continued, a serious issue could arise. A voice chimed from the bed, crestfallen.
"I just don't know..what to do."
Aeleus looked up at the pile on the bed which resembled a young man.
"You could benefit from someone's company. I'll stay here with you while you sleep."
He laid the book on the nightstand and sat down next to Ienzo, who was giving a look of apprehension. But this reluctance was transparent, like a small, clean pond. Aeleus could see the desperation and beckoning residing just under its surface.
Silently they observed each other. They both knew it was Aeleus's duty to guard Ienzo, be it physically or emotionally. That's how it always was, and always would be.
Not even the lack of a heart was able to inhibit that vow.
Ienzo gently nodded in acknowledgement and proceeded to ready himself again for sleep. His head softly hit the pillow and he paused before glancing again up at his guard.
"Good night, Aeleus. Thank you."
Aeleus was like the statue of a Roman soldier, protectively watching over everything that was worth fighting for. He merely nodded and spoke with a deep, pacifying tone.
"Good night."
He reached his hand down and begun to pet Ienzo's head. This was a tactic soon discovered to be infallible for lulling the insomnia-stricken man to sleep.