Paradise?
Writer: Invader Johnny.
Synopsys: Gaz has always been known to be an angry vengeful little girl who views everyone with contempt and only wishes to have her life the way she wants it, but like the saying goes, be careful what you wish for.
Disclaimer: As always, I don't own Invader Zim, Jhonen Vasquez does and sadly Nick also owns the series.
Author Notes: This is actually a very late birthday request for my friend Zim'sMostLoyalServant, which is based on an episode of the "Twilight Zone" I'll reveal which one at the bottom for fear of ruining the surprise up here, nonetheless I'm certain you will all like the twist in the end.
Anyway, do enjoy the story.
"I'm home!" Dib said as he walked into the empty living room, not that he wasn't surprised when he received no answer, he just wished that for once someone was there to greet him.
"DIB!"
"Me and my big head… I mean mouth… yeah, mouth… My head's not big." The boy said to himself once he heard his sister's angry if not right down vengeful scream, he knew that whatever he had done to invoke her wrath would not end well for him, normally he would have tried to talk his way out of whatever his sister had in mind for him but after saving the Earth yet again from one of Zim's latest evil plot, he hardly had the energy to do so.
"I DON'T HEAR ANY WALKING!"
So, Dib only tiredly walked to the kitchen, ready to get his punishment over with.
"Coming Gaz."
"SHUT UP!"
He wisely did, and once Dib entered the kitchen he saw his sister glaring at him, as well as a floating monitor which had a pre-recorded message of their father holding a pizza box in his mechanical arms.
"Pizza is here… Where is your brother?" The professor's recorded message says in a never-ending loop "Pizza is here… Where is your brother? ... "Pizza is here … Where is your brother?"
As the recording kept talking, Dib knew why Gaz was in such a foul mood.
"It wouldn't give me the pizza until you put your approval genetic code!" Gaz hissed "TWO HOURS you were gone, two hours where I did not have even one slice of pizza!"
Dib gulped, so he tentatively pressed the big green button which would satisfy the floating monitor that Dib was in the house.
"Happy to have you here son!" The recording said cheerfully as a celebratory tune plays from the bottom of the screen. A compartment opens and some confetti sprays out.
It was both annoying and full contrast of how the atmosphere in the house felt like.
The pizza box landed on the table as the monitor hovers away, almost as if it knew what was about to happen and wanted to part of it.
Gaz's left eye opened, giving her brother a cold glare before opening the box to confirm what they both already knew.
"See this, Dib." She asked ominously, holding a pizza slice near his face "The pizza's cold, because you wasted my time chasing after Zim."
"I was just…."
"I don't care what you were doing!" She snarled, dropping the slice back in the box "All I see here is a perfectly good pizza meal going to waste because of your damn obsession with stupid aliens and you WILL PAY!"
"But you can always heat it in the proton oven!" Dib tried to reason, taking a step back, which only served to anger his sister even more.
"A pre-heated pizza is never as good as one freshly delivered out of the oven." She sneered "Specially one from Bloaty's! One would think you would get that fact through that huge ass head of yours!"
"Would it help if I order a new one?" He asked meekly.
"Bribing me isn't going to save you, Dib." Gaz growled dangerously "And its not just the food! I when I tell you to be here by eight, so I can have a warm pizza then you better be here by eight or else."
"Come on Gaz!" Dib said fearfully "Be reasonable! I was out saving the world! Doesn't that count for anything?"
"Yes."
"Really?" He asked, surprised "It does?"
"It means that since I counted you being two hours late, then I'm going to beat you up for that exact amount of time."
"Dib began to pray mentally, closing his eyes hoping for someone… Something for once to give him a break and save him from his impending doom just like he saved the Earth's hours earlier.
Gaz lifted her fist, ready to give the first strike of many to come but ironically Dib's prayers were answered but not in the way he'd expect much less be saved by the most unlikely of people.
The Voot Cruiser bursts through the kitchen wall, the windshield opens up but it isn't Zim who comes out of it but GIR and MiniMoose.
"KRAZY TACOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!" The S.I.R Unit screams joyfully "I'm thirsty for tacos!"
"NYAH!"
Some of the wall chunks land on Gaz's head and face, this of course makes her twitch angrily, so she had a temporal new target, she roughly pushes Dib away as she walks over to the two clueless minions.
"GIR!" Zim's voice was heard in the distance, running towards the Membrane house and walking rough the hole in the wall, wearing his disguise, unlike his minions. "YOU DARE FLY THE VOOT CRUISER WITHOUT MY AMAZING PERMISSION AND CRASH IT HERE OF ALL PLACES?"
But whatever else the Irken was going to say was cut short as Gaz punched him right in the kisser, to GIR's oblivious delight.
"Do it again! DO ITTTT AGAAAAIIIIN!"
"GIR!" Zim shouts in between punches "Defensive mode!"
GIR briefly salutes in duty mode before relaxing and reverts back to normal mode and jumps to the pizza box and begins to eat it, Gaz noticing this, stopped pummeling on the Invader, she was now shaking with incredible rage.
Just because her pizza was now cold it didn't mean she was about to let anyone else have it and that included Zim's insane little robot.
She unceremoniously drops the Irken to the floor, briefly distracted by her brother's snickering at his enemy's suffering but a quick glare stopped him right I his tracks.
"Don't think you're scotch free just yet, Dib." She snarled "These idiots are just postponing your beating."
"You will pay for this Little Gaz." Zim wheezes out pathetically "No one gets the best of an Irken Invader."
"Yeah, sure, whatever." She replied uncaringly "If you were actually a threat, I would care what you have to say."
Zim did not take that insult so well and in a massive amount of irrational stupidity, he did the unthinkable, he sneered back to the human girl. "I can see why others of your inferior species call you a bitch."
An eerie silence was felt around them, even GIR and MiniMoose had the sense that Zim did something he shouldn't have.
"He's so dead." Dib thought.
As predicted, Gaz's target changed once more. "That annoying robot can wait." She growled "But it looks like Zim is in need of a lesson in respect."
She threateningly made her way to the still hurt Irken, ready to inflict some more misery down his ugly face.
That is had some cracks left from the destroyed wall made its way to the ceiling, getting bigger and bigger until a huge chunk dropped to the first floor and more accurately on top of Gaz's body.
Unsurprisingly, Dib was the only one horrified "GAZ!"
He intended to run to help his sister from under the debris, only to be sprayed with a soda can by GIR.
"WHOOOO! Look at it flow!"
"That was the last soda!" Gaz bellowed "You will pay!"
Despite his pain, Zim couldn't help but chuckle evilly "Doesn't it suck when the soda is on the other hand, Dib-worm?"
He slowly made his way to the debris, only to glare down at the human glare whose eyes could be seen under all the destroyed ceiling chunks. "Keep up that smug smile Zim." She growled "Soon I'll rip it out from your face."
That only made the Invader's smile widened "Such a big mouth, little Gaz." He taunted "But I'm afraid you won't be doing much of anything soon enough… Like I said… Vengeance will be mine."
"You're too dumb to even think of a proper revenge scheme." Gaz sneered "Now get me out of here before I do something you will regret."
"Like what?"
"Like this!" She bellowed, ready to move the debris with her scary powers, that is that she not been knocked out (accidentally) by GIR.
"Uff!" Gaz yells out as she felt something hit her in the back of her head.
"Aww… My flying piggy."
"Good job GIR!"
"You won't get away with this Zim!" Dib screams, soaked in poop cola.
"Stupid human." Zim chucked evilly "I already have."
The Irken gets his PAK spider legs out, all aiming at the young paranormal investigator, a powerful almost blinding white light came out of them, hitting Dib with such force that not only did it sent him flying to a wall but also seemed to electrocute him mercilessly as he screamed in agony.
Gaz could only twitch irritated under the rubble. "Even his pain is annoying."
As the light diminished, Gaz could see Zim outstretching his arm to grab her while grinning menacingly, the last thing she heard was her brother's annoying voice yelling her name.
"GAZ!"
"Daughter? ... Daughter?"
Gaz groaned in pain, slowly opening her eyes, meeting the worried eyes of her father.
"Dad?"
"Oh, thank goodness you're all right!" Professor Membrane said in relief.
"Where am I?" She asked "What happened?"
"You're in your room honey." Her father said soothingly "As to what happened, I was hoping you could tell me that, I come home from another day of SCIENCE only to see the kitchen destroyed!"
Gaz slowly noticed her surroundings and true to her father's words, she was in her room, her eyes narrowing in contempt as memories of what happened were flooding back.
"Zim…. I cannot believe I let that green idiot get the best of me!"
She was going to hurt the alien… Hurt him bad, but she also had other people who were on her doom list… Mainly, her brother.
"I'm going to kill him." She thought, "It's his fault Zim had to barge in and annoy me!" getting out of bed, she was ready for some payback, much to her father's chagrin.
"Daughter! Wait! You need your bed rest!"
She didn't hear him, she had every intent on getting retribution. Barging into her brother's room, ready to rain some despair on that large head of his.
"I told you that your doom was only a matter of…. Time?"
To her brief surprise, Gaz did not see her brother, nor his useless paranormal junk, instead she saw a huge plasma TV screen, several piles of video games, books upon books of scary novels neatly put in a shelf, a comfortable one of a kind vampire piggy hunter bean bag chair, several video games consoles, a few arcade games and a mini fridge nearby.
"What the?" She said, tentatively entering the room, her father not far behind, worried as he saw his daughter inspect her "doom cave" as she liked to call it as if it was the first time she's seen it.
"Where did all this come from?"
"What are you talking about daughter?" Prof. Membrane asked puzzled "This has always been here since you started first grade."
Gaz stared at her father as if he was the one who lost his mind. "Dad, I know you're a busy man but even you have to know that isn't true, this is Dib's room."
"Who is Dib?"
"My stupid brother."
"Daughter are you feeling all right?" Her father asked, lowering to her height to feel her temperature. "Umm, no temperature, Quick! Tell me how many fingers am I holding up?"
"Two and I'm all right." Gaz replied crossing her arms "And not that I care but where is Dib?"
"Umm, maybe you are talking about an imaginary brother." Prof. Membrane mussed.
"Imaginary?" She asked disgusted, her imagination could never come up with such an annoying brother, so she discarded such a thought.
"Why yes daughter, you know very well you're an only child."
Gaz raised an eyebrow, mildly intrigued by this statement. "So, let me get this straight, you never seen a kid with a large head, a black trench coat, blue shirt, and an annoying voice that fills me with so much rage."
"Can't say that I have."
"Free at last." Gaz couldn't help but smirk with the utmost satisfaction, but she knew she shouldn't sing victory just yet, after all, her father often forgets he has any children.
So, she walked around the house, not once did she see any photos of her brother, it was always just her and her dad in the family portraits, on the first floor there were no indications of her brother either, even the kitchen walls that presumably was destroyed yesterday was fixed as if it had not suffered any destruction of any kind in the first place.
"Are you looking for anything specifically daughter?"
"No dad." She replied with almost an evil glee "Just making sure that I am awake."
Prof. Membrane raised an eyebrow "You are as awake and you can be Daughter."
"Perfect." She says opening the fridge, seeing a six pack of pop cola, which she didn't have to share with anyone as well as some pizza boxes, she assumed that the mini fridge in her secondary room held the same contents.
Gaz only gave her brother's sudden disappearance some thought for a fraction of a second only to shrug uncaringly at the revelation that without explanation she was now an only child.
"Or is there an explanation?" She thought "Maybe Zim finally did right and somehow erased Dib from existence."
If that was the case, Gaz decided to give the alien a free pass, at least until she saw the alien again, which undoubtedly would happen soon seeing as he was a gloating idiot.
But until then, she could wait, right now she had more important things at hand.
"See you later dad." Gaz waved at her father in good spirit "I have plenty of games to play."
"That's my daughter." He said proudly "Developing hand eye coordination and on the right path of being a better human being!"
Gaz kicks open the door to her "Doom cave" eyes wide open at the sight of so many games to play, pizza to eat and cola to drink, all without the interruptions of her now erased older brother or stupid aliens interfering with her life.
She cracked her fingers, her neck and her back, ready to get started.
Gaz got a virtual reality helmet on, ready to start her online gaming experience.
Hours later she was still playing.
"Come on Iggins!" She sneered "You can do better than that!... Wait… You can't!"
In her virtual reality game, she could she her hatted annoyance burning as she used a flamethrower, he ran in circles like a headless chicken screaming for help and to turn off the fire until he became ashes and then they were flown away.
Gaz took of her helmet, sighing with immense satisfaction "I never get tired of that." She took sip from yet another poop cola.
"That's enough video gaming for one day." She said "Lets see what else I can do."
She turned on her plasma TV, usually at around this time Dib would pester her about some new Mysterious Mysteries episode or some crap, on a hunch she changed the channel only to be greeted by some other show.
"And now we return to the I Feel Sick show!" The announcer said.
Gaz shrugged "Guess without Dib there was not enough crazy for ratings, she ate some pizza as she saw this girl talk to "sickness."
The house has never been so quiet.
"I could definitely get used to this."
For the next two weeks, Gaz had a routine.
Waking up, ready for another day free of idiots, she played video games non-stop eat all the pizza she wanted, read the books she possessed, no interruptions and no unwanted aliens coming around, it was paradise to her.
"After all these years of putting on with Dib, I finally have my reward." Gaz said relaxed.
Eventually Gaz had to venture into the outside world, she was quite comfortable in her "comfort zone" but even she needed some exercise and the sun so she went out the house, she was pleased that there was no one around talking nonstop about bigfoot, aliens or some other crap.
"HOT DOGS! GET THEM WHILE THEY'RE HOT!" A food truck screaming guy yells nearby "GET YOUR HOT DOGS HERE!"
"Hot dogs at nine in the morning?" Gaz pondered for a minute. "Meh… Why not? I got pizza at some, wouldn't hurt to change it a little."
So, she walked over "Gimme one."
"I'M SORRY LITTLE GIRL BUT WE DON'T SELL JUST ONE!" The screaming guy screamed "WE SELL THEM BY THE DOZEN SO YOU GOTTA BUY A DOZEN HOT DOGS OR NO SERVICE!"
"Fine, gimme a dozen hot dogs then." Gaz ordered "And watch it with the screaming."
"NO CAN DO LITTLE GIRL." The man yells "SCREAMING IS IN THE FAMILY BLOOD! WHY EVEN MY SON SCREAMY FOLLOWS IN THE PROUD TRADITION THAT GOES BACK ALL THE WAY WHEN PANTS WERE CREATED!"
"Just gimme the food!"
"WHAT'S THAT?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
"Gimme the hot dogs or else!"
Screamy Sr. had the good sense to follow that order "YOU''RE SCARY!"
"And I'll be even more scary if you don't shut up and gimme my orders!"
The man gave Gaz the hot dogs in an inhumanely short amount of time "NO CHARGE!"
"Umm, freed food." This world just keeps improving." Gaz smirked, she took a bite from her first hot dog only for her taste buds to savor a familiar flavor "What the? This taste like pizza."
She took another bite from another hot dog.
It tasted like pizza.
Another bite.
…. Pizza.
And another.
… Pizza.
"It's like someone is recycling me tasting pork all over again." She says a little miffed "So much for originality… Meh, whatever, at least pizza is a far better choice."
Still wanting to prove her theory, Gaz bought a few fries from the same screaming guy and unsurprisingly tasted like her favorite food.
"Didn't know, not having Dib around any longer would have given me paradise." She smirked cruelly "Maybe Zim wasn't a total waste of space after all."
After she ate her meals, Gaz decided to go to the Video Game Arcade, to her mild surprise there was no one there, which meant no lines for any of the video games.
"Perfect, no idiots to get in my way."
For the rest of the day she kept playing.
"YOU WIN!"
"FREE GAME!"
"YOU DOOMED THE EARTH! YOU WIN!"
"YOU COMPLETED THE BONUS LEVEL!"
It was always the same, Gaz kept winning game after game, that didn't surprise as she hardly ever lost at any level but what did surprise her was how easy it all seemed, almost as if she was being handed everything on a silver platter.
Her name was always in the top of the list of every game, breaking all old scores.
"Either I'm getting better or video games designer are getting worse." Gaz growled annoyed "Might as well play my Game Slave II, at least the vampire piggies are an actual challenge."
Fifteen minutes later she finished every level in record time, similar to the arcade games, she broke her old record.
"Guess there's no point playing now." She muttered, pocketing her console, she didn't even take a step before realizing her GS2 was in her hands once more.
"What the…?" She pocketed once more but surprise, surprise she held it in her hands once more. "I'm done playing with you."
This time her GS2 seemed to have gotten stuck to her hand as it did not want to be released, Gaz of course did something she never expected to do to her beloved game.
"I can always get another one." She reasoned.
Once she was home, she held a baseball bat and smashed her video game over and over, miraculously never hitting her own hand in the process.
"There." She said satisfied, dropping her bat, removing some of her sweat from her other palm only to get quite a shock, she widened her eyes seeing that she GM2 was in her hand, as if she hadn't destroyed it seconds earlier.
DING DONG!
Gaz turned to her door, she sure as hell wasn't expecting anybody and her dad wasn't about to ring his own doorbell if he had a genetic code entry doorknob, once more she grabbed her bat, ready to smash some skulls if this unwanted guest turned out to be some weirdo.
She swung open the door ready to smash her bat on the back of the unfortunate's soul who dared come to her house
A pimply delivery man wearing a Bloaty hat and Bloaty clothing holds like fifteen pizza boxes "Here are the pizzas you ordered."
"I didn't order any pizzas." Gaz said darkly. "I already plenty."
"Look kid, are you Gaz Membrane?"
"Yes."
"Then this is the right house." The Delivery man says "I been told to deliver pizzas here every day, no questions asked."
He handed the perplexed Gaz the pizza boxes.
"Enjoy and as always, they're on the house." The delivery man says before getting in the truck and drives off.
The television mysteriously turned on, Bloaty is seen holding a pizza "Hey, YOU! Eat some pizza!"
Gaz twitched angrily, throwing the remote control on the TV, smashing the screen.
"Gotta eat something other than pizza." She muttered, carelessly dumping the boxes on the floor "I swear, if I have one more of these I'm going to puke.
So, she ran out of the house to a convenience store and grabbed several different snacks, she didn't bother to pay for them seeing as like all the over fast food workers claimed it was "on the house."
Gaz was drooling, she grabbed some potatoes chips.
… Peperoni pizza flavor.
Some popsicles.
Hawaiian pizza flavor.
Poop cola.
…. Vegetarian pizza flavor.
Each time Gaz spits out her snacks.
"What the hell is happening here?!" Gaz bellowed, shaking with rage, losing her cool. "Everything tastes like pizza!"
"Lucky you." A bearded hobo that was walking by slurred "I remember when I tasted pizza in everyone of my meals… It was a golden era."
Gaz roughly pushed the hobo away as he yelped in pain.
"Wanna play this experimental new game?" A salesman that came out of nowhere asked handing her a GS3.
"Is it difficult?"
"Very."
"Finally!" She says evenly, turning on the game only for big bold letter to flash "YOU TURN ON THE GAME! YOU WIN!"
"AHHHHHHHH!" Gaz bellowed madly throwing the console away to a wall and imploded into a mini mushroom cloud.
Several zombie gamers came out of nowhere, all holding the same console "She won the game!" One zombie drooled.
"She must be my queen!"
"She must reveal her secrets!"
"DUHHHH!"
Gaz however did not stay and rammed her way out of the hoard of zombies "GET OUT OF MY WAY YOU DAMN DIRTY ZOMBIES!"
But no matter where she went, all stores had posters for Video Games or Pizza in flashy inviting colors.
It was impossible to escape.
"Never thought I would say this but I'm sick of pizza and I'm sick of video games." Gaz said shuddering in horror as if what came out of her mouth was a desecration of everything she believed in. "This has got to change."
And she knew what do to, she wasn't going to like it but it needed to be done.
"Go to the source of my problems." She grits her teeth as well as cracked her knuckles.
Gaz's eyes widened once she reached her destination, to her horror (though she would never admit it, the disproportioned green house was no there, just an empty lot between two between two apartment buildings.
"No… No no no no no no NOOOO!"
The alien base was not here, which meant Zim wasn't here.
And that meant that she couldn't escape her new life, ironically by erasing Dib, Zim gave Gaz what she thought she always wanted.
… But didn't want anymore.
"He has to be here!" Gaz said desperately, getting a shovel out of nowhere she began to dig in the empty lot, hoping to at least find the underground base.
"Gotta find Zim." She said under her breath "Gotta escape this hell."
She kept digging until the sunrise.
"Not even a sign of his demented robot." Gaz hissed "Where could they have gone to?"
Without Zim here, she knew she couldn't escape her "paradise."
"This is horrible!"
"And its only just the beginning little Gaz." Zim laughs malevolently at her torment. "You can look for the amazing Zim all you want but you will NEVER find me!"
The Irken saw the virtual reality world in which he had placed that horrible human while her physical body was inside containment tube, a black scary aura surrounding her, she was wearing a helmet that covered her entire head.
"I told ya you would pay little Gaz." Zim sneered as he tauntingly tapped on the containment glass. "You seek freedom but you'll never get it, not while I'm your jailer… Isn't that ingenious?"
He walked away from the lass to stare back at the screen, Gaz was now being taunted by a clown offering some pizza.
"YOU GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!" She bellowed.
"Aw, look what's behind you ear!" The clown guffawed "A pizza slice!"
"AHHH!"
"This is my best plan yet!" Zim said evilly.
"Will all due respect… No… Respect isn't the word I'm looking for." The computer said "Curiosity would be more appropriate… Yeah… curiosity, how is incarcerating the human girl in a virtual reality world your best plan yet?"
"BECAUSE! You insolent piece of a computer!" Zim yells insulted "It keeps the Dib-worm busy on a wild goose chase for his scary sister!"
"And?"
"And, without him pestering I will have all the time I need to use my latest evil plan of Earth conquest!"
To make his point, Zim pointed at another monitor, showing Dib as tired as he could be, following a tracking device that seemed to be going to different places of the globe to Australia to Germany, unknowingly he's actually following GIR around the world.
"FLYING BINNIES! YAY!" GIR cheered as he indeed was flying some kid of space bunny as Dib followed on Tak's ship.
"By the time he realizes he's been following GIR, it will be too late and the Earth will be mine for the taking!"
Zim laughs evilly as he enters an elevator that takes him to the lowers parts of his base. "ALL MINE!"
"This won't end well."
The lights turn off, leaving behind a still trapped Gaz in the containment tube, if you listened carefully, you could hear her screaming.
"NO MORE PIZZA!"
It was not lost to me the irony that Gaz was talking to herself for much of the story, I think it's a family thing, heh.
Yeah, "I feel Sick" is another comic done by Jhonen Vasquez in case some of you didn't know.
I'm almost certain that a few of figured that this fic is a parody of "The Twilight Zone" episode "A Nice Place to Visit" since Zim gave Gaz her own little paradise turned nightmare, it's a rare moment of brilliance for him when he actually uses his technology properly and devices a clever plot.
You might think this fic was a bit too quick but let's remember that Gaz has little to no patience and even she would crack under the same mundane repetitiveness of it all.
Like I said, this is a late birthday present fic for my friend Zim'sMostLoyalServant, but better late than never, right?
As always, constructive criticism is greatly accepted, so don't be afraid to leave a comment.
Finally, I hope to see you all in my next IZ fic.
Invader Johnny Signing Off.