A Happy Hogwarts Holiday
or
Around the Corners at Christmas
"There's a whole case here somewhere, I know it." Fred Weasley whispered to his twin brother George. "I saw it two days ago."
"We weren't in here two days ago, you git." George whispered back, keeping an eye out for any house elves around. It was unusual to find the kitchens so empty.
"Well, you weren't. You wouldn't bloody wake up." Fred shot back.
"So you came without me?" George was astonished. "Blimey, Fred. I thought we were brothers!"
"Next time, wake up." Fred replied. "Now let's find it so we can nick it and get back upstairs to the party."
There was currently a Christmas party going on up in the Gryffindor common room and Fred and George had thought it would be corking if there was some butterbeer up there to aid in the merry festivities.
"Here it is." Fred said, his voice muffled because he was waist deep into a pantry closet. He pulled himself out, holding an entire case of butterbeer, and he and George crept back though the kitchens and out the portrait door.
They quietly passed the empty Great Hall, decorated with a dozen decorated Christmas trees, and made their way up the Grand Staircase which was draped with ropes of holly and fairy lights. The portraits on the walls charted their process with looks ranging from disapproval to delight and they'd made it up several more flights of stairs and down numerous halls and though one secret passage before they suddenly heard footsteps and wildly looked around for someplace to hide.
This particular hallway on the seventh floor had only a large blank stretch of wall across from a tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. Fred and George paced back and forth several times, unable to tell which end of the hallway the footsteps were echoing from. "We're going to get pinched for sure this time." George said.
"No, look." Fred exclaimed, pointing. "There's a door. I don't know how we missed it before." He pushed George over to it. "Open it up, I've got my hands full." He jostled the butterbeer.
George opened the door and they tumbled in, pressing their ears to the wood, hearing the familiar sound of Filch shuffling by, mumbling to himself about students out of bed. "That was close." George said, looking around and realizing they were in a broom closet. "I never knew this closet was here." They opened the door and peeked out, seeing an empty hall. "The coast is clear, let's go."
The twins crept out of the closet and started down the hall again. They hadn't gotten very far when they heard more footsteps. This time, the person walking down the hall was whistling a Christmas tune. They ducked into an empty classroom and peered out as Dumbledore made his way down the hall, whistling and hanging giant candy canes on all the doorknobs, before turning the corner and disappearing from sight. Amazed, they glanced at each other.
"You'd really never guess he's something like one hundred and fifty, would you?" George asked Fred, who shook his head with a grin. They were just about to leave the classroom when they heard yet another set of footsteps and stayed where they were. "Blimey, is there anyone not out in the halls tonight?" George whispered and Fred put a finger to his lips to silence him.
They watched as Professor Snape came stalking down the hall, vanishing all the candy canes that Dumbledore had just hung. "What a git!" Fred exclaimed as Snape's billowing cloak disappeared around the corner.
"Come on." George said as he stepped out into the halls again. "We'll have to go a different way." They made their way through the school with the butterbeer bottles clinking gently together. Fred veered off and used a hidden passage, George followed. They had just left the passage when Fred suddenly stopped dead, causing George to run into him. Before George could ask what was going on Fred began to rapidly back up, pushing George with him.
"What now?" George asked irritably and Fred just shook his head.
"If you didn't see it, you don't want to." He whispered. George raised his eyebrows, shuffled Fred out of the way, and peeked back out. Standing under a clump of mistletoe were Professor McGonagall, with a length of tinsel wrapped around her bun, and Filch. They were locked in a passionate embrace, sharing an even more passionate kiss.
"Oh, I'll see that every time I close my eyes from now till the day I die." George moaned as he pulled his head back and slumped into the wall.
"Don't say I didn't warn you, mate." Fred chuckled as they wandered off to find another route up to Gryffindor tower. They were sidetracked again by Peeves, who was bouncing through the halls dressed like Santa Claus, complete with a sack full of presents. Or so they first assumed. They found out rather quickly that the sack was actually full of Dungbombs. They ran, dodging bombs for quite some time before they were able to lose Peeves by ducking into the dungeons, slipping by the Bloody Baron, who Peeves didn't dare pass.
"Come on." Fred said, pushing the case of butterbeer into Georges hands. "There is that secret exit from the dungeons not too far from here.
"I know." George replied. "I'm the one who found it, remember?"
Fred snorted. "OK. Remember it like that, if you want."
George bumped him in the back with the case of butterbeer and he stumbled for a step or two, looking over his shoulder with a nasty glare. The torches on the walls burned red and green as they turned yet another corner and had to scramble back when they saw Lavender Brown and Parvati Patill standing in the chilly, dimly lit corridor.
"So that's where they went." George whispered. He'd noticed that they'd suddenly disappeared from the common room party right before he and Fred snuck out. "What in Merlin's name are they doing to Snape's door?"
Fred peeked out and watched for a minute. George could hear the girls whispering and giggling. "They're... decorating it, I think." Fred said as he pulled his head back. "Those two have always been a little off. Oh, slugs, they're coming this way now. They'll squeal if they see us and then it will be all over. Quick, go back."
They scurried away and just managed to squeeze around another corner before the girls scurried by. "Do you think he'll like it?" Lavender asked in a giggly whisper.
"I hope so." Parvati replied. "Do you think he'll know who did it?"
"I hope so!" Lavender quietly exclaimed and they dissolved into giggles again. The twins could hear them fade away as the girls made their way out of the dungeon.
"Those two are going to get caught for sure. Half the castle is out tonight." Fred muttered. "Come on, I want to see what they did to Snape's door." George sighed but followed him back down the hall.
They stared in dumbstruck horror. It was more like a demented Valentine than something Christmas like. The colors were appropriate for Christmas, but the number of hearts was obscene. "What is wrong with those two?" George asked in disbelief.
Fred didn't have time to answer. More footsteps could be heard echoing off the cold dungeon walls. "Oh, come on!" Fred exclaimed as he and George dashed a few feet down the hall and tucked themselves into an alcove, behind a suit of armor.
They'd just managed to squeeze themselves out of sight when Dumbledore came whistling around the corner with his wand out. He stopped in front of Snape's door and exclaimed to no one, "Oh no! Someone has gotten here first! Drat! Severus had so many secret admirers."
He studied the door for a minute before waving his wand and adding a few more bits of holly and some more hearts. "There. That's much better." He said brightly as he walked away with a bounce in his step.
Fred and George just stared at each other with open mouths. They had no words at all for the situation. Before they could collect themselves, Professor Snape stalked around the corner with his robes billowing out behind him. He stopped in front of his own door and exclaimed exasperatedly, "Who keeps doing this?!", before pulling out his wand and blasting the decorations all over the hallway.
They stifled laughter as Snape entered his rooms. Seconds later Dumbledore peeked his head around the corner again. Giggling to himself he snuck back up to Snape's door and waved his wand. New decorations blossomed, complete with a bag of lemon drops, which Dumbledore hung on the doorknob. He stepped back and studied the effects for a moment before leaving again, looking satisfied.
"Let's get out of here. I'm getting scarred for life tonight." George muttered as he and Fred unfolded themselves from behind the armor.
Fred agreed. "I'm almost afraid of what we're going to see next." He confessed as they crept out of the dungeons and back up into the warmer parts of the castle. As they passed by the Charms classroom they heard voices and quietly peeked in to see all the Hogwarts ghosts playing a game of strip poker. Nearly Headless Nick seemed to be losing rather badly as all they could see him wearing was the ruff that kept his head on his shoulders. The Fat Friar was down to his undershirt and not so tighty whiteys and old Professor Binns wore just his sweater vest and knickers.
"Does everyone go mad here on Christmas?" Fred asked quietly as George handed back the case of butterbeer and shook out his numb fingers.
"We really ought to stay at the school over the holidays more often." George commented as he peeked around another corner and beckoned Fred to follow. "We've got blackmail information out the ears tonight."
They passed through several more hallways without incident and thought that perhaps they were finally home free when they suddenly heard singing. It sounded like quite the crowd so they turned around and quickened their paces, trying to stay ahead of what sounded like Hagrid and a group of caroling house elves, all of whom Professor Flitwick was leading through the halls. "Very good!" Flitwick chirped. "Now, let's try The Twelve Days of Christmas." He hiccuped as the twins skittered around the corner and paused to look back, noticing that he was sharing a bottle of Firewhiskey with Hagrid, who was very red in the face in a jolly kind of way.
The group started the song, with Hagrid's booming bass taking center stage. Unfortunately no one seemed to know all the words, so the first day of Christmas came with a package in a pear tree, and the second day two purple gloves were received. Three French horns followed before the twins finally found a large floor to ceiling tapestry to hide behind to let the melodious group pass before they caught up and saw them. "FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!" Everyone shouted triumphantly as they passed.
"Everyone always gets the five golden rings." Fred commented as they emerged from behind the tapestry with dust in their fiery hair.
George sneezed in reply as they walked down the hall, the opposite way of the caroling group. "Let's just get back to the tower." He said, wiping his nose and ruffling dust from his hair. Fred wiggled his own nose to try to get some cobwebs off. George noticed and plucked them off and ruffled his hair for him, since his hands were full.
"At this rate we'll be wrinkled and gray as old Dumbles when we get back." Fred complained as they cautiously checked around corners.
"I feel a presence!" They heard a misty voice cry out from one of the empty classrooms, making them both jump in surprise. The butterbeer bottles clanged together loudly and George punched Fred in the shoulder and gave him a pointed look. Fred shrugged and shot back a what-do-you-want-me-to-do-about-it look and the butterbeers clanked again. "There it is again!" The voice exclaimed.
They looked at each other, then down at the butterbeer, then at the partially open door of the classroom, before peeking inside. Inside, Professor Trelawney was conversing with the blackboard, trying to convince it to write upon itself. "You must communicate in a way I can understand." She said mistily as she caressed the board.
Fred and George looked at each other again with identical grins as Fred shook the butterbeer bottles harder. "I hear you!" Trelawney exclaimed, raising her hands in the air and turning in a slow circle. The twins pulled back from the door and took no care to stop the bottles from clanking some more. "I don't understand!"
George grabbed two bottles from the case and clanked them together three times while stifling chuckles. Trelawney exclaimed from the classroom, "Three! Yes, I heard you. Three. Three what?"
Fred snorted out a laugh and whispered, "Come on, mate, we've got to go before someone who's not a looney hears us."
As if on cue, they hear the familiar sound of Filch's shuffling rushed footsteps. "I'm telling you, I heard something!" His voice exclaimed. Fred and George were just able to duck out of sight right as he came into view, his shirt un-tucked and his hair tousled like someone had been running their hands through it. At almost the precise moment Trelawney burst from the classroom and grabbed Filch's hand, surprising him.
"Did you hear it too?" She asked in an excited far away voice. "Perhaps you too have the Gift!"
"What are you talking about, you crazy bat?" Filch tried to pull his hand from Trelawney's grip. "Twern't spirits! It's students! Students out of bounds!"
Professor McGonagall hurried around the corner and over to the two. She seemed to be tucking her hair back up into it's customary bun. "Filch and McGonagall both look a right mess." Fred whispered as he passed the butterbeer to George. "You don't think that they were... you know... after that mistletoe kiss...?"
"Don't finish that thought." George shook his head vehemently as all three adults argued loudly about the reality of clanking sounds being spirits.
While they were distracted, Fred and George crept out of their hiding spot and scurried to the next hallway, about twenty feet away. Once there and out of sight again they let out sighs of relief. "Thought we were going to be spotted there for sure." George panted.
"This is getting silly." Fred said peevishly. "Come on."
They had to avoid Santa Peeves and his Dungbomb presents one last time on the way back. This time George stopped and dodged several Dungbombs while grabbing the shield off of a nearby suit of armor. He held it flat and flung it at Peeves like a Frizbee. Peeves ducked and the shield only knocked off his Santa hat and wig before it went clanging away down the halls. Peeves stared after it and started to cackle as they once again heard Filch running to investigate.
Fortunately for them they had used the distraction to escape and were running up the stairs to Gryffindor tower. They could hear Filch cursing Peeves and his Dungbombs as they finally breathlessly ran up to The Fat Lady and gave her the password.
"Sugar cookie!" George exclaimed.
"You certainly were gone long enough." She commented as the portrait swung forward and they tumbled into the common room to find it dark and empty.
"Well, bullocks!" Fred exclaimed. "Everyone went to bed!"
"More for us, Fred." George said brightly as he dropped the case on a table and pulled the corks out of two bottles, handing one over to his brother, who grinned. "Here's to close calls and unexpected things around every corner."
They tapped the bottles together and proceeded to have a very very merry Christmas indeed.