DISCLAIMER: All of the characters in this fic are not mine. They are the property of BBC. Hope you enjoy! Comments welcomed! :-)
Author's Note: Warning! Mentions of the Doctor Being In Love with River ahead! If this offends you press the back button now! Also, any familiar lines you see were taken from the TV episode itself which, again, I do not own.
This story may also contain spoilers as it will mention a few things from the audio stories Doom Coalition 4, The Diary of River Song Series 3, The Diary of River Song Series 4, and The Diary of River Song Series 5. But you really don't have listen to them before reading.
Purposely on Accident
By SpaceRanger
Like anyone who's been with the Doctor for any length of time, she'd always seen something dark in his eyes, an underlying pain, but it was a darkness that's never surprised her. After all, she knows his past, both the good and the bad - and like everyone else, she knows that he always, always lingers on the bad. But because of the way she'd been "bouncing up and down his timeline willy-nilly" as Missy once called it, River often used the telltale signs in those eyes to help her narrow down in her diary which adventures she could tease him with and which adventures were spoilers.
They helped to tell her where he was in regards to their relationship, allowing her to figure out what boundaries to set between them and providing her with the knowledge of the kinds of affection he would accept or provide - not just to and from her, but to and from his companions as well.
That was how she eventually recognized the Doctor on the Harmony and Redemption starship and that is what made her realize what the difference was, is, and will be between this man and her husband. The usual darkness that would appear either when he thinks she's not looking or when she'd said something that stirs his memories was no longer there, but instead a dark torment that she's only now realizing that he couldn't share.
The sonic screwdriver seem to weigh heavier in her pocket.
I should've known it wasn't a gift...
When she first told Rory - because he was Rory and not yet her Dad - of this, her worse day to come, oh, it had hurt. Every time that thought crept into her head, it hurt. Of all of her nightmares, this is the one that scares her the most and it's chilling her even now how accurate her prediction had been... Because she knows. Oh, she knows...
This man, this face, this time - he will watch her die.
Between their night on Darillium and all the previous incarnations of him that she's met over the years, she had thought herself able to handle the inevitableness of their Gordian Knot timeline: the pain of breaking his hearts. Instead, she felt as if she'd been caught flat-footed. Somehow, the fact that it's this face made her nightmare-turned-reality so much worse than she'd ever imagined.
The alarm distracted them long enough for her to shake off her melancholy and try to adjust to this Doctor. She knew that anything she'd do from this moment forward will make him wary of her.
Now, I love a bad girl, me, but trust you? Seriously.
Maybe this was where his suspicions of her started. Somehow, something she did here must have caused so much of his early distrust of her despite her death. Perhaps she pulled a Missy? If that was the case, perhaps it would be better for him to think of her as his first Lorna Bucket. If he knows who she is or will be, it would make it much more difficult for them later. After all, he's always breaking Rule Seven.
And should the worse comes to pass, she still has his name, which she really hoped she wouldn't have to use. A part of her desired to take a peek into their timeline and try to rewrite whatever it was that caused his distrust.
"There was one other thing in the last message," River said, decision made. Lux glared at her even as she dug into her pack for her PDA.
"That's confidential."
"I trust this man with my life, with everything."
"You've only just met him."
"No, he's only just met me."
River smelled the scent of bananas and ice cream fluctuate right before the screams started.
When one runs with the Doctor, most of the time there is screaming involved. One does not, however, expect the first one to be screaming would be the Doctor himself.
"Doctor!" So while the others jumped and turned their attention to him - even Ms. Evangelista, who River had made note of in the very back of her mind as having been distracted by something while they were talking - she had already dove forward, catching him before he fell even as the adrenaline heightened her senses further. The now unconscious body in her arms started giving off glowing energy as soon as they touched and she feared the worse - something killed the Doctor, and he's regenerating.
"Get more lights going, seal the doors, and keep an eye out!" she snapped as she switched out her PDA for her sonic screwdriver before any of them could get in a word. "Something got to him and I need to know what."
Now that they were properly as scared as the Doctor had wanted them to look like when they first arrived, the others scrambled to do as they're told.
"Why must it always take one person dying before someone would take your warnings seriously, Sweetie," River muttered softly to herself as she looked at the results given. She breathed an inaudible sigh of relief when her fears were confirmed to be false and put the sonic away as his companion approached.
"What are you doing? What's wrong with him?" Glancing over at her Expedition Team to make sure they were all busy with the lights, River gestured towards the room she and the Doctor were in when they were supposed to be comparing diaries in answer. If she was wrong it would be better if he regenerated away from everyone else. It would've been easier to send the others to the other room instead of taking his body there, but the lights were set up in this room. Hopefully, the Doctor isn't having one of his bad theory days and those lights really will protect them.
"Grab his legs, we need to get him out of here first." As they carried him out, River threw out reminders to her team. "When you're done, form a circle, don't let your damn shadows touch, and for your own sake, don't wander off! This means you too, Ms. Evangelista! When I get back, you five better be in this room and still alive or I'll kill you all myself."
Behind them she heard Anita whisper, "She wouldn't really kill us would she?"
Other Dave snorted and whispered back, "You do remember that she was in prison for killing a man?"
She mentally swore at her team even as she hoped they managed to get far enough away that both the Companion and the Doctor - she wouldn't put it past him to be able to eavesdrop even while unconscious - didn't hear the remark.
"Okay, stop," she said once they reached the room. "Would you clear the table? I can handle his weight."
"Right."
As the the companion moved, River idly asks, "You travel with him, don't you? The Doctor, you travel with him."
"What of it?"
"He's not in any shape to introduce anyone, is he?"
"Oh, Donna." The shock of knowing who she is/will be had her unable to control her awe and heartbreak.
"Donna... You're Donna Noble!" Donna paused in what she was doing to give her a surprised look.
"Yeah. Why?" River was saved from having to answer when the Doctor let out a whimper.
"Doctor?" He gave no sign of stirring once more. "Doctor, can you hear me?"
"I always listen," he muttered.
"That's not his voice!" Donna exclaimed as she hovered over him. River nodded, even as she adjusted him to lay flat on the partially cleared table.
"It is and it isn't. That is a voice from his future regeneration."
"Regeneration?"
"When Time Lords are killed, a transformation can occur. His body will look and sound different and some of his personalities will change."
"So, he's becoming someone else now?"
"No."
"No?"
"The buildup of chronon energy readings match what it would be if he is. But I didn't detect any of his regeneration energy that normally accompanies it. So that's not what's happening here. Somehow it's just affecting his mind." River laughed humourlessly. "Well, he did tell me that this regeneration of his has always been vain."
Suddenly he jerked forward and would've fallen off the table if not for her and Donna, and River gripped even tighter when the voice of her Doctor came through.
"What, in the end, are any of us looking for? We're looking for someone who's looking for us."
Another spasm from him, and his body's original voice continued with,
"I just want you to know there are worlds out there, safe in the sky because of her. That there are people living in the light, and singing songs of Donna Noble, a thousand million light years away."
"Doctor, no, that's spoilers!" She's not sure if he heard her or not, either way he froze and collapsed like a puppet with his strings cut.
"What's he talking about? Is that why you were surprised to see me?"
"This isn't right." Ignoring the question, River scanned the Doctor once more. "He shouldn't be remembering things that haven't happened yet for him!"
"Haven't happened yet? What are you talking about? Are you just talking rubbish?"
River let out a wary sigh. "No, I'm talking time travel. Think of it this way, you remember Caecilius? At Pompeii?"
Donna looked surprised at her knowledge and nodded. "Yeah, there was a volcano and I had to beg the Doctor to save him."
"Now imagine going back Pompeii, but to the time when Caecilius is a child. He's not going to know who you are because you're from a point in his future, even though you are seeing him in his past. The Doctor, at this point in time, is my Caecilius. I'm from a point in his future. He hasn't met me yet."
"If you're from his future, is it possible he's getting his memories from you?"
"I... I don't know. I need to think."
"Well think fast! Because with him out, it's up to you now. That lot over there certainly isn't going to listen to me and I don't fancy being killed by shadows."
River nodded in agreement. "Neither do I. Right then, one thing at a time. My team and I will try to rig something up against the Vashta Nerada and make us an escape path out of here. Let me know if anything changes."
River moved to leave but as soon as she let go, the Doctor lunged forward and grabbed her hand. He pulled her towards him and she instinctively looked to his face once more. His eyes are now open and she could see the continuous changes behind it. The Doctors even younger than this one before her are taking over but somehow every single one of their eyes speak of recognition of her.
"I'm remembering a name, a face, River, River Song! I know you!" Though she was expecting it, the voice of his Eighth regeneration still surprised her even as it changes to the voice of his Fourth. But it was the words that followed that floored her even as she heard the same words spoken once more. "You're Professor River Song. You're my wife."
"Wife?!" Donna gasped and in the back of her mind, River realized that something has changed - is changing.
"How are you doing this?! You're supposed to forget that ever happened."
"How could I just forget?" said his Eleventh self. "Nothing is ever forgotten, not really."
"Doctor, the timelines are shifting. What did you do?!"
"No, no." the First Doctor said, waving his free hand dismissively, "We have much bigger problems to deal with. You said Vashta Nerada, hm?"
He shuddered even as his Fourth voice came through. "Oh good. Being eaten. That would be the perfect end to our day wouldn't it, River Song?"
"Does this mean you have a plan?"
"Yes. Welllll, sort of. It's ongoing," Ten said.
"Ongoing, of course." River laughed and the Doctor moved to get off the table but it was obvious to them that he was still in too much of a weakened state to pull anything off.
"Oi, Spaceman! Shouldn't be moving like that!" Donna scolded even as she helped River get him standing once more.
"Don't be ridiculous, I can rest once we're out of here," Seven said. "Professor Song, what was the thing in the last message?" Without bothering to remove her PDA - the only reason she did previously was because that Doctor didn't trust her.
"Four thousand and twenty two saved. No survivors." It was easy to recall even without her advanced memory. River had read that message over and over again during the research stage of the expedition, puzzled over its meaning. "Four thousand and twenty two is the exact number of people who were in the library when the planet was sealed."
"How can that many people have been saved if there were no survivors?" Donna asked.
"That's what we're here to find out, and that's why I called the Doctor here." The Doctor shifted his weight towards River as if he had doze off once more.
"But there's no one here! This place is utterly deserted aside from the million, million life forms the computer said there were." River could only shake her head at Donna's question.
"We - "
"You're right, Donna," Two interrupted. "The Vashta Nerada would've left bones behind. No, there's something else on this planet that made four thousand and twenty two people vanish."
Four began rummaging in his pockets taking out so many things as he wont do, muttering to himself. "It should be here. A-ha!"
River's eyes widened in surprise. "That's my - "
The Doctor quickly shook his head but it caused him to sway dangerously. "Don't say it."
"Doctor!" He pushed her Vortex Manipulator - because it is hers, she recognized the design, marks, and age on it as the one that had been stolen from her during her mission for Halassi - into her hand.
"Put it on." River didn't hesitate, quickly strapping the reassuring weight of her Vortex Manipulator to her wrist.
"Did I ever finally replace that silly trowel of yours with a screwdriver, River Song?" Five asked as he tried to stuff his various knick-knacks back in his pockets with Donna's help. River rolled her eyes as she punched in the last of the coordinates the TARDIS was sending her.
"Yes."
"Oh good, once we get in that room, the two of you should hand me off to Ms. Evangelista so you can provide a demonstration," Three scoffed. "Humans. So ridiculous. They always need some sort of proof to run for their lives." Donna smacked his arm.
"Oi!"
Six winced even as he said, "Yes, yes. Do you happen to have a packed lunch? I need something with meat and bones on it, none of that nutrient paste or food cube garbage."
"I have one in my bag. My team should all have one as well."
Ten nodded even as he continued, "Right then. That should be all we need. Well then, River, Donna, are you ready?"
Instinctively, River replied, "Always."
"Are you sure? You're going in and out right now. The voices are going to confuse the lot of them out there," Donna warned.
"It'll be fine. I think I'm rest up enough to stay as Professor Song's Pretty Boy." Ten smirked at River who rolled her eyes once more.
"I hate you." His smirk only widened as he placed his finger on her nose.
"No, you don't." His hand slid off her nose to cup her cheek and before she could stop him, he tipped forward and kissed her. And oh, she missed this. Their timelines had pulled them apart and the best her Doctor could do was his little romantic gestures he leaves in her office. Flowers, all of her - and her team's - meals, and little holograms of him and his guitar singing his love for her with his besotted Scottish voice and making her laugh. In her peripheral, Donna had turned her head away. When they finally broke away, he whispered hoarsely, his ragged voice tugging at her hearts. "Hi Honey, I'm home."
River could only laugh even as she held back the tears she could feel trying to form in her tearducts.
"Warn a girl next time you get all kissy face on me, Spaceman."
The Doctor laughed sheepishly. "Sorry, Donna. I literally haven't seen my wife in hundreds of years."
Donna could only gap at him before turning her incredulous face to River. "And you're still married to this jackass?"
River laughed. "It's a long story - best not get into it. Shall we?"
To River's relief, her entire team had done as they were told - even Mr. Lux even though he looked rather impatient still. And as soon as they stepped into the room, the Doctor began speaking.
"Right, you lot. Other Dave, you asked how a shadow can be infected, well, let me introduce you to the Vashta Nerada. Ms. Evangelista, come here and take over for these two. Professor Song, scan the shadows. Should be setting 520 on the sonic. Donna, fetch that packed lunch from the Professor's bag would you?"
"It's a metal box, there should be chicken with a bit of salad in there," she told Donna as they hand him over to Evangelista who River remembered as having been trying to alert them of something.
"Ms. Evangelista, what was it that you were trying to say earlier?"
"Oh, Other Dave already sealed it, but that door over there. It opened."
"Right then, I doubt they'd be there anymore, but it's as good a place to start as any." While she scanned and Donna searched, the Doctor piped up.
"I just realized. What are you lot? 51st Century? How do you not know about the Vashta Nerada or things that can kill you on your expeditions? Honestly, Dear, what are you teaching these kids?"
"Most of my expeditions don't end in people getting captured, shot at, blown up, or eaten, Sweetie." The Doctor scoffed. "I'm serious, Doctor. Besides, I think the University just doesn't want to get the students' hopes up. I'm required to remind them every semester that Archaeology is nothing like what the vids portray it as."
"Well, now you have an idea for a new course to teach. You know what, no, I insist on it. 'How to identify and disarm hostile beings that are trying to kill you.' No, no, rubbish name."
"You can think of the name later, Sweetie. Got a hot one."
"Keep scanning, don't want them to sneak up on us. The rest of you, go take a closer look, but do not get in front of where Professor Song was over there." Once they crowded closer, he continued, "Donna, aim the torch at that patch of darkness."
River moved away from his demonstration and continued her loop around the room.
"That's not darkness down those tunnels. Nor are they shadows. It's a swarm. A man eating swarm. Donna, throw that chicken into there."
Her ears picked up what sounded like thousands of beings rushing pass followed by the clattering of a chicken bone falling. What she found unusual was the distinct lack sound that would normally accompany fallen flesh.
"The piranhas of the air. The Vashta Nerada. Literally, the shadows that melt the flesh. Most planets have them, but usually in small clusters. Unfortunately for us, the computer registered a million, million of them on this planet."
"What do you mean, most planets? Not Earth?" Donna asked.
"Mmm. Earth, and a billion other worlds. Where there's meat, there's Vashta Nerada. You can see them sometimes, if you look. The dust in sunbeams."
"If they were on Earth, we'd know."
"Nah. Normally they live on road kill. But sometimes people go missing. Not everyone comes back out of the dark."
"Let me guess, not every shadow but any shadow." River sighed as she doubled back and scanned her team's shadows once more before moving on to the last of the room.
"Yeah. There's nothing you can do besides run now."
"Where can we run though?" Proper Dave asked. "You had us seal off most of the area!"
They must have all looked over at Lux as River heard him exclaim, "Don't look at me, I haven't memorized the schematics."
"Even if you did, it might not do any good. How are we looking, Professor Song?"
"All clear, looks like that's the only spot. If that door had stayed open we might've had more come through without us knowing." The Doctor breathed a sigh of relief.
"Good. River, get us to the TARDIS. I can do more good from there."
With a nod, she motioned to them all. "Right everyone, grab on to me and don't let go."
A second later they were on the TARDIS and everyone but the Doctor and herself collapsed on the ground looking a little green.
"Oh god, what was that?" Anita groaned.
"Nasty travel tool." The Doctor scoffed. "But useful in a pinch. You should smack me the next time you see future me. Two thousand years of marriage and I haven't gotten you anything better than that rubbish?"
"Wait wait wait, two thousand years of marriage?!" Donna gaped.
River shrugged as she slid her diary that she'd pilfered from the Doctor's pocket back into her bag. "In his chronology, not mine. In mine it's only been three hundred give or take."
"Are you saying he remembers you now?" Lux asked incredulously.
"Yes. But he's not suppose to. Our official meeting in his timeline isn't until much later and we're going have words about this, Doctor. I would advise not to think on this too hard it's very - "
"Wibbly wobbly."
River sighed as she gestured to him. "What he said."
"You know, the last time we were together, you told me we'll meet again and that it'll be the last time you let me arrange one of our dates. So your idea of a better date is being trapped in a Library with the Vashta Nerada?" he teased. "At least the enemies I face have actual weakness we can exploit."
"I guess someone really wants me dead then."
His teasing smirk dropped into a dark scowl at her words. "Back to the problems at hand," the Doctor said as River moved over to the TARDIS console and start the scanners. "First, why do we have so many Vashta Nerada here? Second, four thousand and twenty two people. Vanished, because, as Donna noted, we didn't see any bodies on our way up. What about you lot?" They all shook their heads. "Didn't think so."
As the Doctor moved over to the other side of console, bringing up his own library with Donna at his side, River said, "Lux, the emergency protocol of the planet. When someone hits the alarm, it should've teleported people out."
"That's right. But at the time, my family hadn't gotten into interplanetary teleportation yet. We only had short ranged ones installed."
"Oh!" The Doctor spoke up, horrified. They all turned to look at him and he looked back at them with an ashened face. "It's the books, the books! See, the Vashta Nerada live on all the worlds in this system, but they normally hunt in forests because they hatch from trees. And what are books made of? Trees! Someone or something used the trees infected with the eggs of the Vashta Nerada and now the Library is their forest, pulped and printed and bound. There would've been nowhere at all safe when they hatched."
Anger flickered through her and her hand itched to grab a hold of her blaster as she growled darkly, "I'd like a word with whoever they are." Donna looked over at the Doctor with a smirk and arched a brow as he cleared his throat while tugging at his tie.
"Yes, well, let's not get into that shall we? What's in that lovely head of yours that you brought up the teleporters, Dear?"
Pulling her mind away from her murderous intent, she answered, "I wanted to know what happens if the the computer has nowhere to send people to."
"Well, they get saved," Lux replied.
"Saved?" both River and the Doctor said at the same time. The two of them looked over at each other in excitement, finishing each other's thought process. "Of course!"
"The message!"
"Four thousand twenty two people saved!"
"It didn't mean safe!"
"It literally meant saved!"
"Like an email!"
"We need to get to the core. Get those people out of there and then seal this world back up."
"But that's four thousand twenty two people though. Would there even be any memory space left to get them all out?" Proper Dave asked. Lux shook his head even as he started digging into his pack while she and the Doctor memorized the schematics of the planet.
"No, but I have something that might help. One of my cousins insisted on it, suggested that if something did happen here that might need us to reseal the planet, we should at least do a proper maintenance upgrade."
The Doctor snatched the device from Lux and examined it, then handed it to River with his own version of 'she's hot when she's clever' smirk.
"Oi, you two, stop with the eyes!" Donna complained.
"Right then, this needs to be fast. River, drop me off at the core then prime all the data cells for maximum download. I'll be redirecting all the teleporters to the TARDIS and hooking up this device. The rest of you stay here and don't wander off."
"Wait! Let me go with you to the core, Doctor," Lux pleaded.
"Lux, this is serious, dangerous."
"AND SHE'S FAMILY!" Lux snapped. They all stared at him in shocked silence.
"The girl in the computer?" Other Dave asked.
"To the world, she's CAL - the main command node. To us, she's Charlotte Abigail Lux, our grandfather's youngest daughter. She was dying, so he built her a library and put her living mind inside, with a moon to watch over her, and all of human history to pass the time. Any era to live in, any book to read. She loved books more than anything, and he gave her them all. He asked only that she be left in peace. A secret, not a freak show. " Tears rolled down Lux's face.
"So you weren't protecting a patent, you were protecting her," the Doctor said softly. Lux nodded.
"This is only half a life, of course. But it's forever."
"And then the shadows came." Anger once more gripped her as Lux nodded again.
"She doesn't have enough memory space to remember that she's done this but she should remember me. My presence there might help keep her calm while you two save them."
"In that case, allons-y!"
As predicted, Charlotte started freaking out as soon as she saw them in the core, and it was Lux who'd been able to keep her calm, directing the girl on how to scan and warn them if the Vashta Nerada get too close. They managed to get everyone into the TARDIS and dropped Lux, his assistant, and the four thousand and twenty one people off at the LUX headquarters. One had asked to stick around and River suspected that he had taken a fancy to Donna.
Then, they dropped off her and her crew at the University. Or rather, they were suppose to. The Doctor had quickly snagged her hand and pulled her back into the TARDIS, shutting the doors behind her crew.
"Doctor!" River snapped. Normally she would've been amused by his antics, but not now. She had immediate plans that involved having a row and a shag - not necessarily in that order - with the husband she spent twenty-four years on Darillium with without worrying about spoilers. "Let. Go."
"Stay, please."
"Doctor, don't make me do this. I'm furious with you right now."
"Why?"
River glared at him. "Why - Doctor, you are not suppose to have those memories of me!"
He looked bewildered. "I thought you'd be happy that I have these memories."
"Not this early in your timeline! And not when they're being used to rewrite time! Don't think I can't feel or remember the difference!" She jabbed her fingers into his chest, between his hearts.
"You got lucky because this time, it turned out fine, but next time it won't be!"
"Spoilers!"
"Yes, it is! Sod it! You cannot keep carrying on like this! You are the Doctor, you are not Time Lord Victorious! Be the Doctor that you're met to be!" He held up his hands in surrender.
"I know, I'm sorry. I wasn't deliberately trying to rewrite time when I did that. I just wanted to keep my memories. Of you, of us." He dropped his hands, clenching them into fists at his side. River tried to hold on to her anger despite the pain on his face.
"I've felt alone for a very long time. I run because I have to. Because if I stop even for one moment my own darkness will swallow me whole. Then, one day I found you - or rather, you found me. And in that one single moment, I was no longer alone." He reached out tentatively and cupped her face, but it was the tears in his eyes that was her undoing. "I had you. I had you from the Academy and my first regeneration to my eighth before the War."
"But when you pushed me out of the Vortex, I started feeling those memories slip away so I grabbed every bit of memory that I could and threw them all behind a memory lock. I knew that the minute that I fully exit the Vortex, I'd lose my love, I'd lose you."
River placed her hand over his. "Doctor, you don't even know who I am yet."
"I know enough. I know you're clever and mad and wonderful. And I know I want to be yours, for as long as you'll have me."
She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him, letting herself sink into his embrace as he let her feel the truth of his words. The Doctor really hadn't meant to rewrite time. They continue to stand in each other's arms, resting their foreheads against each other even after they broke the kiss.
And after a moment, he laughed quietly. "I think that was my wedding proposal to you. So what do you say, River Song? Marry me again, Dear?"
River grinned. "Yes, Sweetie, always."
She pushed him away. "But I still can't travel with you."
"What?! But - " River placed a finger to his lips. When he quieted, she smiled sadly as she reached forward, fixing and straightening his tie.
"You know I can't. Not yet. Things will be happening to you soon, things that I'm not allowed to interfere with. I wish I could stop what's going to happen, but I can't."
"I know." He smiled self-deprecatingly. River swallowed, her hearts hurting for him, but she forced herself to take a few more steps back to put distance between them and slid on her mask with a lighthearted quip she didn't really feel.
"Besides, I do still need to close the loop: create a hard drive as Lux's Very Concerned Cousin and arrange for the TARDIS to temporarily recognize those four thousand and twenty-seven people in order for the teleport to be able to bring them all here."
"We've got a time machine, River."
"And my Vortex Manipulator. Why did you even have it?" the Doctor smiled sheepishly.
"Welll... That one is actually an interesting story. Even though he didn't remember, when my Seventh regeneration saw you at the markets, he had a bout of vindictiveness he couldn't fight so he stole your manipulator. I think it was revenge for you clocking him. He ended up on Oxford Street during one adventure and somehow managed to lose it during a chase."
"It ended up being picked up by my Fourth regeneration who had pocketed it just before you showed up to check in on him."
"My, you have been busy."
"I'm just glad it all worked out."
"So am I, Doctor. So am I."
A/N: Many thanks to doctorwhomst for beta-ing the story, helping me with picking out lines, and helping me picking out the title.
A/N2: Answers To Questions You Didn't Even Know You Wanted To Ask:
1. Rule Seven: Never run when you're scared. (From Series 6, Episode 8 "Let's Kill Hitler")
2. Chronon energy: According the the TARDIS wiki, Time Lord bodies were apparently sustained by chronon energy and smelled like bananas and ice cream. It's also linked to temporal anomalies and time travel.
3. Setting 520 on the sonic is not for the Vashta Nerada as far as I know. I rolled a few dices and ended up with that number.
4. I debated over calling this "Accidentally on Purpose" or "On Purpose Accident" but "Purposely on Accident" (provided by doctorwhomst) seemed to work better.
The only things that were done on purpose was the theft of River's Vortex Manipulator and the Doctor's Eighth Regeneration sealing his stolen memories. It just all happen to work out that both - the Manipulator and the Doctor's trust of River - were the things they needed for this trip.