The Johnbo Wedding

.x.X.x.

~CrazyPlotQueen~

It was a great, and historically important day in the RWBY: Tales of Haven forum. It was a day of great celebration for two Moderators and their friends, it was a day of true love. It was well known across all the kingdoms in the forum that John and Zombo were good friends, but then, the unthinkable occured. These good friends confessed their love for each other with a marriage proposal, and their ship sailed across the sea of love. And tonight, it would park right in the harbor of passion and lust.

"Let's get this show on the road! I want to get back to actually role playing," Jesterman huffed from his seat in the audience, rubbing his temple.

"Let the couple have their happiness. It's not everyday that someone gets married, and it's Johnbo's special day!" Shadow chided Jester lightly, leaning back in his chair.

The wedding was taking place in Rome's colosseum. Kat and Quinn had set up rows of chairs, thrown a few flower bouquets and ribbons around the set up, and called it a day. Quinn was lazy at heart, so only wanted to do the required minimum for setting up the wedding.

"Jester's right. I think this is stupid. Who even thought up of this?" Task complained from his seat, scrolling through Magic:The Gathering and APUSH memes on his phone.

"Kat did. And it's a great idea," Quinn snorted from across the aisle, rolling her eyes. "Aren't you supposed to be the minister? You are the admin."

"Yeah, I guess. But I never agreed to this," He whined, sighing as he tried to find the will to get up from his seat and tear himself away from those amazing APUSH memes.

"I don't care. The wedding starts in five minutes. Get up there, Task," Kat pointed to their makeshift altar.

"I'm not even an official minister!" He protested, eyes still on the memes.

"Actually. I went online, and got you ordained!" Quinn smirked, pulling her phone out of her pocket and showing him the "official" certificate.

Task groaned, but got out of his seat and marched up there.

"Woo! We got people moving! Show on the road!" Pun cheered enthusiastically.

Quinn jogged over to her backpack at her seat, and rummaged around inside. She fished out a plastic recorder, and handed it to Frost.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" Frost asked, raising a brow.

"Music. Now. You know what to do!" Quinn commanded, then hurried to the front.

Frost stared at the recorder for a moment, unsure of what to do. Pun couldn't help herself as she began to crack up, her shoulders shaking violently in laughter. Jester simply sighed, and rubbed his temple. He knew he'd most likely be traumatized from this wedding by the time it was over.

Quinn and Kat whispered over a thick packet of paper, staring at it in disbelief.

"Zombo wanted all this in his wedding? We don't have the money for this! This wont fit the budget!" Kat scoffed.

"He wants there to be fireworks when he walks down the aisle? And a fountain? How fucking dramatic is he?" Quinn snorted, rolling her green eyes. "He wanted Beyonce to sing too?!"

"Beyonce is a Queen," Kat shrugged.

"Well, so am I. We don't fucking need Beyonce. I will do just fine," Quinn huffed.

"Can we please get this show on the road? The new season of Dragon Ball Z just came out!" Task yelled, adjusting the minister robes Kat had thrown at him moments before.

"Cue the music!"

Silence filled the colosseum for a moment as Frost stared at them. He had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to be doing with this. He wasn't even musical! Finally, after some intense glaring from Quinn and Kat, he slowly raised the plastic recorder to his lips and began to play a rather crappy rendition of My Heart will go on.

A young girl, with her blonde hair done up in her signature ponytail came trotting down the aisle on beautiful pony. She fished hot pink glitter out of her pocket, and threw it around the venue.

"Glitter?" SBP asked, raising a brow at Quinn. Weren't they supposed to be throwing rose petals or something?

"We figured glitter was more significant. Y'know, death by sparkles…?" She said casually, noticing his confused stare. "Yeah...it's a thing. Though that horse wasn't in the budget, Mini!" She shouted at the girl.

"Glitter! Make it rain!" Pun shouted as Mini dumped a handful of glitter on her and Jester.

"Be careful it doesn't get in your eyes!" Mama Guy shouted worriedly from his seat.

The horse circled back, cantering to the exit of the arena. "She should be wearing a helmet! This isn't safe!" Mama Guy shouted. Soon, Mini and her trusty steed turned back around, this time pulling a chariot. Zombo appeared with Crota, his best man, at his side.

"He didn't," Randy gaped, watching as Zombo rode into his wedding on a chariot.

"He did." Fury muttered from next to him, grinning with delight. As the teen zoomed by with Crota, the boy stood up and cheered like a spectator at a game.

Randy turned to Quinn, looking at her horrified face, "Was that in the budget?"

"No." She growled.

"I wanna ride that!" Fury gushed.

"Absolutely not! That's dangerous and you will crack your head open! Now sit down and enjoy the wedding!" Guy chided, grabbind Fury's hand and yanking him back down into his chair. The little boy pouted, crossing his arms in defiance of his forum mother.

Back up at the altar, the entire forum family watched as Zombo stepped off his chariot. Crota patted him on the back, and with a 'Good Luck' he let him go off to his wedding. The teen smoothed out his tuxedo blazer, smoothed his eyebrows, slathered on another layer of strawberry lipgloss, and strode up to meet his beloved.

"Hi there," John teased, arching a brow. "You look pretty hot."

"All for you, baby," Zombo winked.

"Alright, that's enough, lovebirds. I have things to do today, so enough chit-chat," Task interrupted, flipping through their wedding vows. He muttered, "Crap. I'm so fucking bad at this. Why did they put me up to this?"

Zombo interjected, "If I may, while you get your life together, I have a little speech prepared for my Hunny-Bunny Boo Boo Baby Bear-"

"Get on with it!" Jester shouted from the back.

Zombo pulled out a thick stack of notecards, fumbling with them for a moment, then meeting John's hazel eyes. "I'm no stranger to love; you know the rules, and so do I. Full commitment is what you're thinking of, you can't get this from any other guy!"

"He is not," Randy whispered in disbelief.

"Oh, yes he is," Fury breathed, grinning.

"This...This is how I'm feeling, I gotta make you understand. John, I'm never gonna give you up, let you down, run around and desert you. I'll never make you cry, or say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie, and hurt you."

John smiled at his love blissfully, his hazel eyes tearing up a little. "Z-Zombo, that was beautiful, man."

"Straight from the heart," He breathed.

"Was that… Rick Astley?" Randy murmured, snickering a little.

"I have no idea. Who's Rick Astley?" Fury asked Randy. Pun and Frost also gave Randy a strange stare.

"A god," Guy murmured, his eyes transfixed on the happy couple.

"Alright. Let's get on with this because Dragon Ball Z is way more important than this," Task deadpanned. "Zombo, do you take John to be your lawfully wedded Hunny-Bunny Boo Boo Baby Bear whatever the fuck?"

"I do."

"John, do you take this idiot to be your idiot?"

"I do"

"By my holy Pureness, I now pronounce to be Rick Rolled- I mean, man and wifey!" Task announced through the gladiator pit, and Zombo and John glanced at each other.

"So… uh, how do you wanna do this?" Zombo asked awkwardly, a tinge of pink creeping onto his cheeks.

"Do we… have to do this? I mean, it's not like kissing you would be weird. But… kissing you would be super weird," John admitted with a small smile.

"Do you wanna just fist bump instead?" Zombo suggested, holding out his hand.

"Sounds good to me," John shrugged, and fistbumped him back.

Cheers rang through the pit as Zombo and John grinned at each other.

"So, uh…are you going pick me up?" John asked, chuckling a little.

"I'm built like a fucking tank. Picking you up is easy, shortstack," Zombo snorted, sweeping John off his feet in a matter of seconds.

"Holy crap! Don't drop me," John gasped, holding onto Zombo for dear life. Glancing at the boy curiously, he furrowed his brow in curiosity, "Wow, you actually are pretty ripped."

The others in the audience began cheering madly, and they threw whatever they could find. Frost began playing the Zelda theme in celebration, and Pun waved some Pom-Poms that she had snuck in around. Randy and Fury threw some chairs around as they screamed, 'Pop the Champagne.'

"Children! You shouldn't be tempted by alcohol until you're at least forty years old!" Guy shouted at them, trying to wrench a chair away from Randy.

"Yay!" Kat cheered as she and Quinn hurried up to greet Zombo and John. She threw a handful of glitter at the couple, "You two are married! So, what do you plan to do now?" She waggled her brows, elbowing Quinn jokingly.

"Zombo's gonna be John's Zombitch," She mumbled under her breath. Kat elbowed her a little harder.

"I have absolutely no regret saying that," She looked Kat dead in the eyes.

John and Zombo looked at each other, a red blush creeping onto their faces. "I'm sure...we'll figure it out," Zombo chuckled.

"May take a few tries. But they'll figure it out," Kat snickered, waggling a brow at Quinn.

"Hey! Are you two gonna honeymoon or what?" Crota yelled from the chariot, waiting for the lovers to hurry the fuck up. "I have a Roleplay with Mini to finish up!"

"All the roleplaying Zombo does on the forum is going to help him tonight~" Kat sang under her breath. This time Quinn elbowed her roughly. The pair walked down the aisle, arm and arm, towards the chariot and the guests began to cheer wildly. Frost began to play what sounded like a mix the Naruto theme song and the Rocky theme. Task just sat in the corner, watching the new season of Dragon Ball Z. Jester seemed disappointed in life. Guy was trying to prevent Randy and Fury from getting too crazy and destroying any property in the colosseum, but when Randy whipped out some firecracker, he knew it was futile.

As they stepped onto the chariot, giving their crowd a wave. The audience began to chant 'Kiss, Kiss, Kiss', and the couple gave each other a sheepish look. Zombo raised a brow, puckered his lips, and drew his beloved in for a passionate kiss. A roar of cheers began to sound as their sweet kiss grew even more heated, Frost aggressively started to play Careless Whisper, and Guy began to scream for the little ones to look away.
Crota snapped the reigns on the chariot, and they raced off into the sunset.