Disclaimer: I do not own any of JKR's wonderful characters. If I did, I would be very rich.
Summary: Two years after Sirius disappears behind the veil, Hermione is in an intense state of grief. One night, while wandering the corridors of Hogwarts and thinking of him, she stumbles upon the Room of Requirement, only to find it holds her greatest desire—and her greatest fear…
The corridor was eerily dark. The soft light of candles seemed to dim as she strode past, clutching a picture in her hand.
It was all she had left of him.
The darkness seemed to swallow her whole, and numbly, she walked on, right into the heart of it. Trembling, she felt the dark begin to spread and consume her heart. Thoughts of him intruded, but she tried to block her mind, tried to push him away.
"You're gone," she whispered into the dark.
If only she had said the words to him. But time and time again, fear had stilled her tongue. Now, only the pain of never telling the truth remained. "What if?" was the question that plagued her dreams, her life. Her tongue now only wept with bloody regret, and through the crimson red, the unsaid words somehow escaped. The iron, bitter taste spilled over her lips and down her shaking chin. Only the bitterness remained.
In the soft, dim light of a candle, he appeared from the darkness.
"Hermione."
In disbelief, she ran to him blindly, falling to her knees once she reached him. Her fingers reached for his, and he reached out to her, and…
He was gone.
Her head with its bushy brown curls sank to the floor as a quiet gasp escaped her lips. Was her whole life an illusion? Maybe she was crazy after all.
Night after night, dream or reality, she reached for his hand. And every single time, he faded away into the darkness that held him. And her.
In every shadow, around every corner, behind every door, she could feel him. Yet he was never there.
Distant and lost, her tears of regret and mourning spilled to the dirty floor. Grime and dirt stuck to her face, and she also felt it cover her heart. The unclean layer of filth wrapped around her soul and would not let go.
If only she could see the light again. If only she could see his sun-kissed cheeks with the brightness illuminating his hair and eyes. If only she could feel the warmth upon her cold soul; in her frozen bones.
The picture crumpled in her hand. She slowly brought it to her dull, vapid eyes and looked upon the face she missed so much. In the picture, his black hair fell around his face and dropped over his eyes with grace. His eyes, twinkling with happiness, burned holes into her heart. Hidden in their depths was some promise, some reassurance, some comfort. And for a fleeting second, amongst the anguish and in the midst of pain, his beautiful eyes did comfort her. For a moment, just a moment, she basked in the golden rays of her happiest memories. Of him.
But just as quickly as the light came, the darkness consumed her once again. Opening her eyes, she realized she was alone again. And she was cold. She shivered in the calm darkness. The tears came from her heart this time, slowly seeping out.
The void in her soul where he had been would never be filled. He had taken a part of her with him, into the darkness. She would never be whole again.
Somehow, she raised herself from the cold, dirty floor and continued the long walk into the darkness. She had always been searching for something better, for someone who could take the pain away. But only he could.
The emptiness in her heart was vast. The picture, clutched tightly in her hands, only made the darkness spread. Tears fell from her eyes, and in a slow path, made their way down her cheek, until they plummeted into oblivion.
When had life become so meaningless and empty? How could she possibly complete the journey without him?
She stopped suddenly when a chilling breeze hit her face. A stab of fear pierced her heart when she realized what was in front of her.
The veil.
It fluttered as if in a high wind and silently beckoned her. This was her chance to finally see him again, to succumb to the darkness, to tell him the words she'd desperately dreamed of saying.
Unthinking, she stepped through, and instead of floating into blackness, she stood on hard tile.
Around her, pictures on the walls of him waving, smiling, and winking mocked her. She could almost hear his bark-like laugh.
Almost.
Her heart lurched with anguish and regret. She could feel it weep in agony.
She walked on, trying to ignore the pictures of him, until she reached a tall mirror with intricate engravings bordering the glass.
He was there, inside.
Instead of sporting his usual playful grin, he stared at her with silent sadness. The pain brought her to her knees. He fell to his knees with her.
A wail that was too inhuman and animal-like to be real burst from the bottom of her throat. Sobs wracked her weak, shaking body as the darkness began to pull her to the bottom.
She looked upon his face through a sea of tears.
"Sirius," she whispered in agony.
"Hermione," he whispered back, though she could not hear his words.
The picture dropped from her hands and fluttered softly to the floor.
Desperation she had never thought existed filled her soul. She had to get to him. She had to free him from his prison of darkness! Her sanity depended on it.
She raised her clenched fists and shattered the mirror that held the man she loved with all her soul trapped inside. Shards of him fell to the floor, soaked with blood. Their blood.
But light was glittering from the broken pieces; the brightness was blinding her. Her heart was healing as a feeling of peace washed over. It would be okay.
The blood spilling from her mangled hands ceased. She no longer felt the pain, the burning anguish, the regret. The hole in her heart was filling up again. She was whole again.
He was finally there. She had released him from the mirror—the tortuous mirror that held the deepest, most desperate desire of her heart.
The light was so bright. It was too much to bear.
But then…
She opened her eyes.
And was plunged into the choking, chilling darkness again.
He remained in the mirror, staring back at her, forlorn. The glass no longer glistened on the floor. Her hands no longer bled… but her heart… her heart was completely shattered, far beyond repair.
Maybe she was crazy after all.
Glancing down at the picture of him, she saw that he was no longer smiling. He looked at her with an emotion she had never seen before. Was it pity?
She laughed into the silence, laughed like the madwoman she knew she had become. All she had left were these pathetic illusions.
This time, she did not weep. There were no tears left. No more sorrow.
Only the void.
The darkness.
And what could have been.
Looking up at the mirror, her eyes met his. Her fingers reached out, and he reached for her, and finally—finally, their fingers met. But she could only feel the cold, cruel glass of the mirror beneath her hand.
Tears were flowing from his eyes.
This was the only way they could ever be. Together, yet forever apart.
It would never be enough.
Digging deep into the depths of her soul, she found the strength to tell him what she had meant to say all along.
Only it was too late now.
"I love you."
He stared back in amazement and gave her a soft, sad smile.
Their love would never be, could never be. Not now.
If only she could see him one more time—see the elegant way his hair fell into his face, his strong chin, his kind, handsome features.
But it was too late now.
All they had was this cruel wall, separating them forever. What had once been a dream, a hope of the future, had become an illusion, a fragment of an insane mind.
Their fingers almost touched through the glass. Almost.
"I love you, too," he whispered.
Somehow, his words almost filled the void, almost brightened the darkness. Almost.
But it was never enough.
Laughing, she laid her tired head upon the floor. There were no more tears left to cry. Because like him, she was dead. There was nothing of her soul left.
He watched her sadly from the mirror, mourning the vibrant, lively girl he used to know.
What had she become? What had they become?
"Hermione… Come back to me."
She closed her eyes, and the darkness finally took her.
And she never heard him speak.
A/N: I hope you liked it. It was my first fanfiction. It surprised me that I would write a Sirius/Hermione fanfiction, when I generally only read Snape/Hermione.