So I couldn't help myself and had to move forward with this little sequel to God Help Her. It picks up a couple of weeks after the conclusion of that story (Dov and Gail are together [for now muahaha]) and will follow the events of season 3 of the show. I really hate going against canon but I kinda screwed myself with the backstory I had given Gail (wrt how to write Nick in) so you'll just have to bear with me and go with the flow. Hopefully most of you have forgotten the show's canon by now and it doesn't matter lol Except I will happily and proudly go against the canon that says Nick's name is Collins and he was part of Gail's past but is not related to the Chief (unless they changed that in later seasons when I wasn't watching) because it never made sense to me. I am also introducing Nick earlier in the season (before Andy gets back) because I hate 3-month time lapses and it works better for me.
I'm not particularly religious but I was looking for a title and decided to continue the theme set by God Help Her. Assuming he/she *did* help Gail, just not in the way she'd wanted, this is taken from the verse 'What God has joined together let no man put asunder.' Oops... spoiler alert ;)
I hope you enjoy the fruits of my continued obsession with Gail Peck!
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; if I did I would have done something very different with them.
"Just how long are you planning on keeping this up?"
Gail glanced up from her hand to acknowledge Traci's approach. "I don't know. I figure the relationship has what?" She looked to Dov as though for his opinion. "Two good weeks left in it?" Immediately shrugged back at the other girl, "Give or take a few days."
Dov and Traci rolled their eyes in unison.
"I meant coming in early so Chris doesn't see you show up together." Traci motioned to the cards laid out between them on the car. "And playing games you hate just to pass the time."
"I know what you meant, Nash." Had answered accordingly, if not directly. "Dov's still trying to find something he can beat me at." Showing him her winning hand Gail grinned and threw it on top of the pile, then unfolded her legs to recline on the hood.
With an exaggerated sigh Dov tossed his cards onto hers.
Traci got her meaning but didn't really get it. "Chris has known for weeks, Gail; you told him yourself."
And it was among the top three hardest conversations she'd ever had to have. "Knowing is abstract," she explained with a patronizing wave. "Easier to handle because it's easier to dismiss. Irrefutable proof being shoved in your face is a lot more painful because you can't really ignore it. That's why if you want someone to really suffer you don't just tell them, you show them." Like those annoying commercials with the emaciated children or the mistreated animals, designed specifically to shame and upset sheeple into donating money.
Of course his girlfriend's argument was based on deconstructing how to make people suffer… "Who would've thought that one day you would use your expansive knowledge of manipulation for good instead of evil?"
It was Gail's turn to roll her eyes. "Whatever. But last I checked I was supposed to be the insensitive one…"
Traci's forehead furrowed. "I guess I never had to worry about that with Dex." Although she hadn't thought anything of him having to see Jerry sometimes when picking up Leo, either… "Wait – how did the Ice Queen get to be the considerate one?"
"I like to think it's my influence," Dov volunteered jokingly.
Only if he meant that his presence in her life had made it necessary… "Relax, Trace – your 'most considerate' title is safe, as is my 'most selfish' one. I'm only saving myself from having to see that look on his face ever again." And if it had hurt her that much to see it she could only imagine how much pain he'd have been in to give it.
Dov recognized it for the deflection it was; would have made some gesture of comfort if not for the familiar truck that had turned into the parking lot.
"So you're just going to keep 'hiding' it from him?" Traci wondered, voice lowered even though Chris had yet to emerge from his vehicle. "What if he needs to see it to move on?" She worried that him being able to dismiss it wouldn't help anyone involved, least of all him.
Feigning a light bulb moment Gail snapped her fingers. "Or, bear with me here, you could just hurry up and start introducing him to your little girlfriends already." Her sole objective was for it to stop hurting him (so she could stop feeling guilty, of course), and the wound wouldn't heal if salt was constantly being poured into it… "I'd set him up myself but, you know, double-dating this soon would be a little awkward."
"Right," Traci scoffed, "Timing is the problem with that plan." And not the fact that she didn't have other friends, much less girl ones.
Gail gave her a look of sheer disappointment. "That's the joke, Nash. You didn't get it. Bad job."
Traci rolled her eyes. "Or maybe the joke's not that great if it has to be explained…" It wasn't her fault Peck was so ridiculously good at 'deadpan' and couldn't always be expected to be self-aware…
"What joke?" Chris asked as he joined them.
Not trusting Traci to come up with something plausible Gail answered in her stead: "That one I told you yesterday about the kookaburra and the banana leaf."
"Oh, yeah," Chris chuckled, remembering. "That was hilarious. Coconuts!"
Gail smirked at Traci; condescended, "See? Chris got it."
Traci bit her tongue – as the blonde had doubtless known she would because she wasn't a vindictive wench – and changed the subject. "So I talked to Andy last night. She's going crazy planning all this stuff for our trip. Camping, canoeing…"
"K-ill me now," Gail cut in. "She knows we're only crashing her exile for three days, right?"
"Self-imposed exile," Traci corrected, then noted the judgmental brow. "What? It's an important distinction." She was actually proud of Andy for removing herself from the situation to avoid the temptation.
Gail rolled her eyes; refrained from pointing out that the suspension precipitating the exile was very much not voluntary. And that the brunette was only delaying the inevitable.
"That stuff sounds like fun," Chris lamented, "How come we don't get to come?"
Traci gave him an apologetic smile. "Sorry. Girls' trip." They hadn't needed Gail to tell them that inviting the guys – on what would then become her and Dov's first trip as a couple – would have been a monumentally bad idea.
"You can take my place," Gail offered facetiously, "If I'm lucky I'll be dead by then." How she'd gotten roped into it to begin with she still didn't know (something about being supportive and encouraging and blah blah blah), but she sure hoped it went better than 'Girls' Night' had.
Her casual reference to dying made Dov flinch. "Well, today just might be your lucky day."
No enemy to passive-aggressiveness, it was the over-protectiveness that really set Gail's teeth on edge. "Yeah – might be."
Dov swallowed his next comment, well aware he probably wouldn't be so annoyingly neurotic about these things if she weren't so frustratingly cavalier about them.
Glancing between them Traci tried to figure out the source of the sudden tension; realized, "The ride-along's today…"
Gail nodded. "And the Chief called to say his brother can't make it so they're sending someone else."
Which explained why Dov was less than thrilled about it... "Do you even know who?"
"It'll be fine," Gail asserted, less than kindly. "Where's all this concern when I'm stuck with Trouble-Magnet McNally for a partner?"
Traci sighed but said nothing, accepting it for the rhetorical question it was.
"Well, to begin with Andy is trained and has her own weapon," Dov pointed out.
For all the good that's done her… "I can give him a gun, too, if that'll make you feel better." Gail's tone was patronizingly sweet.
Chris would have advised Dov to quit while he was ahead – this battle especially was not one he was going to win – but that would require acknowledging their relationship (and wanting to help it). "So what are we going to do while the women-folk are in North Bay?"
As grateful as Traci was for the non-sequitur… "Women-folk?"
"You could go to a strip club," Gail suggested, just to see Chris' face turn red. "Get your ya-yas out."
"Gail!"
"I'm kidding, Chris. You know if you guys are going to a strip club I want in." Her attention was drawn from his heated cheeks to a motorcycle that had come to a stop just in front of her car. "What? You hear 'strip club' and you want to join the conversation? Keep it moving, creeper." But instead of complying the figure removed its helmet.
"Is that any way to talk to the guy who paid a shitload of money to spend time with you?"
Gail's mouth fell open. "Nick?"
Placing his helmet on the back of the bike Nick kicked out the stand and dismounted. "Okay, so I didn't shell out the money myself – the army doesn't pay that well – but I'm sure it came out of my inheritance somehow."
Oh my God… Gail slid off the hood and into his open arms. "What are you doing here?"
The others exchanged a baffled glance.
Nick held her tightly, chin resting atop her head. "Something about a day I'm never going to forget?" Though most days with her were.
Dov's brain struggled to process what was happening. "You're here for the ride-along?"
"Yeah." She made no move to let him go and Nick had no interest in dislodging her.
"Ahem," Traci cleared her throat.
"Oh, uh…" Gail broke the hug and turned to the others. "Nick Collins. Traci Nash, Chris Diaz, Dov Epstein."
Chris automatically held out his hand. "Collins? Like Chief Collins?"
Nick shook the proffered hand, his other arm still around Gail's shoulders. "He's my uncle. Well, adopted uncle – his brother's family took me in when I lost my parents."
"That sucks." Realizing how it sounded Chris clarified, "That you lost your parents, not that they took you in."
"Yeah, I got that," Nick chuckled.
"I hate to break up this little reunion," Traci lied, "but we're going to be late to parade." And she now had a cagey blonde to grill…
Gail smirked up at Nick. "You planning on parking that thing? You see, how this works is we take a cruiser to fight crime and transpo the bad guys…"
"Didn't you always want to be a motorcycle cop?" Nick 'remembered.' "Wind in your hair, sun on your face…"
"Bugs in my teeth?" Gail supplied in disgust. "Yeah, no. Thanks."
Giving her a wink Nick started to walk his bike to a free spot.
"Someone grab my stuff," Gail instructed before taking off after him.
"Sure, your highness. We live to serve," Traci automatically snarked. Was of course ignored.
By the time Dov gathered the cards and hopped off the car Chris was already emerging from the back seat with Gail's garment bag and duffel.
Chris shrugged at his friend's questioning eyebrow. Old habits die hard.
Watching the blonde jump up onto the newcomer's back – and him grab her legs to keep her there – Traci's eyebrow did its own impression of a mountain peak. "Uh... she ever mention him to you guys?"
Dov shook his head.
"No," Chris offered as they began to follow the pair. "Her mother mentioned a 'Nick' a few times but I thought he was just some ex. I had no idea he was related to the Chief."
That didn't make Dov feel any better, though Chris seemed to be sufficiently impressed.
"Come on, slowpokes!" Gail called out over her shoulder just before the door closed behind them. Within minutes of entering the booking room they came upon Frank and she allowed her feet to return to the floor. "Sir, this is Nick Collins. He's here for the…"
"I know who he is," Frank interrupted, accepting the younger man's hand to shake. "Welcome to the 15, Nick. We're lucky to have you."
Nick felt Gail stiffen beside him; braced himself for her reaction. "Well, you don't have me yet," he told his future SS with a strained smile. "Still a month or so left until graduation."
Have you? Graduation? "What the hell is going on?" In her mounting confusion Gail barely registered the others joining them.
Knowing how close their families were Frank didn't understand why Peck seemed to be so out of the loop. "Everyone, please welcome Nick Collins, the 15's newest rookie."
Any relief Dov felt that she would be riding with a cadet was nullified by the fact that it was this cadet…
Newest rookie? Giving Nick a withering look, equal parts anger and betrayal, Gail folded her arms over her chest and demanded, "Just how long have you been back?"
Nick flinched inwardly, having hoped to have this conversation later and without quite so many spectators, but knowing it would be infinitely worse if he lied. "Since last spring."
Gail's stomach dropped but she embraced the rage. "You've been back a year and I'm just now finding out?"
"I wanted to surprise you. I was going to wait until my first day but then this popped up…" Nick trailed off, realizing he had in no way helped his case by admitting he had planned to keep it from her for another month.
Well, that was a quick honeymoon Dov thought as he took in the exchange. Beside him Traci looked like she was just missing a bucket of popcorn and Chris seemed anxious, like he was anticipating having to step in.
"You are so lucky my boss is standing right there," Gail informed him through grit teeth.
Nick could only imagine; was still surprised he hadn't been punched on sight.
"Don't you guys have somewhere to be?" Frank prodded the onlookers, wondering if he'd signed himself up for some new round of fresh hell when the last had only just ended. "Peck, you still need to be in uniform."
His tone was gentle but it did nothing to soothe her. "We are not done talking about this," she threatened Nick with a low growl and a menacing finger.
Nick schooled his features free of amusement – God, he'd missed his little Gustnado – and nodded with appropriate solemnity.
"How's that day you'll never forget looking now?" Despite Dov's best efforts a small amount of gloating had seeped into his voice.
Dropping all pretenses Nick clapped the guy on the shoulder and gave him a cocky wink. "Not my first time at the Gail rodeo, my friend, but your concern is touching."
Dov's smile vanished at the evoked images.
Neither one was spared Gail's death glare as she grabbed her bags from Chris before storming off to the locker room.
"Soooo," Traci wasted no time in venturing as soon as the door had swished to a close behind them, "What up with that?"
"Un-fucking-believable," Gail griped, slamming open her locker door to start getting changed. "Gone five years then shows up out of the blue on that stupid little bike like some Grease 2 T-Bird wannabe and he's actually been back a year." How fucking dare he?!
Traci suspected the blonde was rambling to herself because everyone there (and possibly everyone in the building by now) had already gotten that part. "Yeah, but who is he?"
Gail broke free of her internal rampage to chastise, "I told you." Maybe Nick wasn't the only one suffering from amnesia.
"Who is he to you, Gail," Traci spelled out, pulling on her uniform shirt.
And the inquisition begins… "Not that it's any of your business but we've never been together."
Traci paused in doing up her buttons, surprised. "You telling me you never hit that delicious hunk of man-meat?"
"Of course I did," Gail scoffed as she did up her pants, "I'm anti-social, not brain-dead. But we were never a couple." Which is what she'd assumed that question had been aimed at finding out.
Silly Traci for forgetting the girl subscribed to the Bill Clinton School of Words with Very Narrow Definitions… "You know, most people would consider 'never been together' to also mean sexually."
Most people were still suburban enough to think you had to be together to be 'together;' Gail had never put much stock in what 'most' thought. "Together implies a commitment beyond getting each other off. Chris and I were together; Nick and I experimented as teenagers."
"Just as teenagers?" The blonde wasn't about to get Traci on another semantical technicality.
Well, after a while it could no longer be classified as experimenting, could it? "Get to your point, Nash." Gail's patience was incredibly thin at the moment.
Traci was going to take that as a 'no.' "How come you were never together?" That was the most unabashedly something (affectionate? intimate? unreserved? all of the above?) she'd ever seen Gail be with anyone and it just didn't make sense. Especially if they'd already been sleeping together.
Gail rolled her eyes. "I know it offends your 'fairy-tale romance' view of the world but it is possible for people to have sex without being in love."
"What?" Speaking of things that didn't make sense…
Seeing the other girl's puzzled look Gail lifted her shoulders in an unapologetic shrug. "Sorry. Forgot you weren't Andy there for a second."
Or that was an attempt at diversion… "That wasn't an answer, Gail."
Ugh… "You think I was anti-social when I hit the 15?" she posed rhetorically and with no small amount of disdain. "Even if I was down for a relationship – which I was not – he was like the closest thing I had to a friend. The thought never even crossed my mind."
She seemed to be telling the truth but Traci couldn't shake the gnawing suspicion that there was more to the story. "So what happened?"
Gail blew out a huff of annoyed air as she inserted her bobby pins with more force than was absolutely necessary. "He enlisted. Needed to find himself or some shit."
"Oh." Unsure where to go from there Traci stated the obvious: "And now he's back."
"And now he's back," Gail repeated flatly.
Traci had another question – one regarding his intentions – but it was clear that the answer didn't lie with her friend. Still, she had to ask, "Is it gonna be a problem?"
"Depends. If his excuse really sucks you might have to arrest me for murder." That would probably constitute a problem…
Either the blonde had intentionally misunderstood the [admittedly vague] question, or it was just such a non-issue for her that she hadn't even clued in to what the real question was. "And if it doesn't suck?"
Gail shut her locker with a resounding clang, hard-pressed to think of a reason he could possibly give that she would find in any way acceptable. "In that very unlikely event? I guess I'll let him live. But he'll still have a hell of a lot of groveling to do before he even gets to see the turnoff for my good graces again."
It wasn't all that long ago that Dov had been so far outside her good graces he'd been in 'dead to her' land, or that the thought of being with him had yet to cross her mind either… All things considered Traci had a really bad feeling about this, and she could only hope that this sense of foreboding (curse her great instincts) didn't turn into a case of déjà vu…
So how'd you like it? Feel bad for Dov already?
Gustnado: A short-lived, shallow surface-based vortex which forms within the downburst emanating from a thunderstorm. Has more in common with a whirlwind than a tornado. While injuries or deaths are rare from gustnadoes, strong ones can cause damage and they are hazardous to drivers... Basically Nick calling her Gustnado Gail is calling her out on her (mostly) 'all bark, no bite' persona.